Things anime characters will never say

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Things anime characters will never say

Postby GeneD » Sat Jun 20, 2009 7:28 am

For example, you'll never hear:

Any shounen protagonist: "Screw this, someone else can save the world. I'm going home."

Ed (FMA): "Size doesn't matter."
I don't know what broke to make you like this, but I must be broken too if I'm standing here praising your destructiveness. -Rock (Black Lagoon)

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Postby rocklobster » Sat Jun 20, 2009 8:33 am

Ed (cowboy bebop): A coherent sentence. Any coherent sentence.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you. I appointed you to be a prophet of all nations."
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Postby Robin Firedrake » Sat Jun 20, 2009 10:15 am

Vegeta: "Scouter says his power level is around twelve or something like that."
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Postby EricTheFred » Sat Jun 20, 2009 10:50 am

Any annoying opponent: "I'm sure you're wondering about my power, aren't you? Well, I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU!"
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May He cause His face to shine upon you.
May He lift up His countenance and grant you peace.

Maokun: Ninjas or Pirates? (Vikings are not a valid answer, sorry)

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Largo: "Well Ed, good to see ya. Guess I gotta beat the crap out of you now."

Jamie Hyneman: "It's just another lovely day at the bomb range. Birds are singing, rabbits are hopping about, and soon there's going to be a big explosion."
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Postby Midori » Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:14 pm

Almost any shoujo male lead: "I love you."

EDIT: Actually, this applies to just about any main character, male or female.
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Postby Tommy » Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:11 pm

Spike Spiegel: I'm not the man.
FKA Tom Dincht

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Postby Dr.Faust » Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:39 pm

Creed(Black Cat)- Who needs power?

Greed(FMA)- Lets sheir guys
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Postby LadyRushia » Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:45 pm

Kimura-sensei (Azumanga Daioh): I think staring at high school girls is wrong.

Sakaki (AD): I hate animals.

Lelouch (Code Geass): I love Britannia with the passion of a thousand burning suns.

C.C. (Code Geass): I hate pizza.

Himura Kenshin: I really want to kill someone right now.
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Postby Bobtheduck » Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:57 pm

Haruhi: I think going on a date and relaxing sounds like a good way to spend the afternoon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs Watch this movie なう。 It's legal, free... And it's more than its premise. It's not saying Fast Food is good food. Just watch it.
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Postby LadyRushia » Sat Jun 20, 2009 7:07 pm

Kallen (Code Geass): We're not Japanese. We're Elevens.
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Postby Ingemar » Sat Jun 20, 2009 7:13 pm

Vash The Stampede: I shot a man just to watch him die.

Keiichi Maebara: SEXISM!

Konata: Time to read the Bible.

Ichigo Kurosaki: Seriously, when was the last time Soul Reapers worried about Wholes?

Keiichi Morisato: Screw this, I prefer human women.

Keitarou Urashima: I want to go to Harvard.

Shinji Ikari: I love my father.
Rei Ayanami: I love your father too.
Shinji Ikari: EWW!

Kamina: With this drill, you'll... make a hole or something. I dunno. You're a loser, Simon.

Light Yagami: I am.... THE POPE OF THE CURRENT WORLD!

Shirou Emiya: People don't die when they are killed. Strange, isn't it?
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Postby Peanut » Sat Jun 20, 2009 7:24 pm

Light Yagami: You know, everyone sins. So who am I to judge those around me? In fact, I think I'm going to start helping criminals become better people by starting a prison ministry.

Alexander Anderson: Protestants rule.

Dio: I'm sorry for all the horrible things I've done to you Jonathan Joestar. Can we be friends for real this time?
Jonathan: No. *Disembowels Dio*

Ok so that final one was actually manga charaters...but in my book it still counts...
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Postby LadyRushia » Sat Jun 20, 2009 7:48 pm

Well, if we get to use manga characters. . .

Kenji (20th Century Boys): "Friend"! Let me join you!

Otcho (20CB): *doesn't completely pw3n someone*

Kanna (20CB): I'll just forget about my uncle and accept that "Friend" is the best ruler in the world.
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Postby Etoh*the*Greato » Sun Jun 21, 2009 12:35 am

Any anime character: Whoa. My eyes are huge. Does anyone else see this? My eyes are MASSIVE. This should't be healthy!
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Postby Nate » Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:01 am

"Y'know, Batman: The Animated Series is better than about 90% of our shows!"
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Ezekiel 23:20
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Postby rocklobster » Sun Jun 21, 2009 5:41 am

Naruto: I love you Hinata!
Hinata: I love you Naruto!
(sigh, I can only dream)
Hitsuguya: I'm tired of all this fighting. How about a date, Rongiku?
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you. I appointed you to be a prophet of all nations."
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Postby LadyRushia » Sun Jun 21, 2009 7:49 am

Etoh wrote:Any anime character: Whoa. My eyes are huge. Does anyone else see this? My eyes are MASSIVE. This should't be healthy!

I lol'd.

Along those same lines,
"Anyone else find it strange that our eyebrows show through our hair?"
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Postby uc pseudonym » Sun Jun 21, 2009 1:43 pm

Normally I'm not a fan of these because they tend to boil down to "Angry Character: I am not angry." But this thread includes archetypes, which is at least a new twist to me. My contributions are probably more cynical than funny...

Shonen Protagonist: Discretion is the better part of valor!

Shojo Protagonist: I'm a fully actualized human being!

Shonen Crowds: I have never seen such power before, but given the regularity with which this happens I'm not particularly surprised!

Shojo Crowds: The male lead is good at absolutely everything, which is why he only dates women of similar ability!

Sympathetic Villain: Why yes, I do have a sorrowful past, but given that it traumatized me enough that I became evil, I don't want to talk about it!

Cannon Fodder: I will attack a character incredibly superior to myself in the hopes that my life insurance will pay for the treatments for my youngest daughter, whose illness led me to take this job in the first place!

LadyRushia wrote:Along those same lines,
"Anyone else find it strange that our eyebrows show through our hair?"

Thank you.
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Postby wildpurplechild » Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:21 pm

Sasuke: I'm so happy. Hey Sakura let's be best friends!
Sasori: Art is really a bang!
Ash: I'm too old to play with Pokeman, besides, making them battle is cruel!
Any Pokeman: Hey look I learned to say more than my name!
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Postby Fish and Chips » Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:23 pm

Shounen Antagonist: "My secret ability is this gun I'm just going to shoot you with. Except by secret ability I mean use it right now."
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Postby ADXC » Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:31 pm

Shounen Protangonist-"I don't really get why we fight, how about we actually THINK about it first."

Shojo Protangonist-"This view is pretty and all, but just where in the world did these Blossom petals come from?!"
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Postby EricTheFred » Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:52 pm

The Shojo Herioine: "I was thinking about getting all angsty and worrying about it for twenty episodes, but then I decided to just go ahead and tell you I love you in the first episode!"

The Shonen's girlfriend: "I was considering telling you I love you and declaring myself your wife in the first episode, but instead, I've been all angsty and worrying about it for the last twenty episodes! Weird, huh?"
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May He cause His face to shine upon you.
May He lift up His countenance and grant you peace.

Maokun: Ninjas or Pirates? (Vikings are not a valid answer, sorry)

EricTheFred: Vikings are always a valid answer.

Feel free to visit My Writing.com Portfolio

Largo: "Well Ed, good to see ya. Guess I gotta beat the crap out of you now."

Jamie Hyneman: "It's just another lovely day at the bomb range. Birds are singing, rabbits are hopping about, and soon there's going to be a big explosion."
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Postby Maokun » Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:15 am

Almost any anime character (probable exception, Light Yagami)

"Screw friendship! I'm much better off alone"

Any shonen character: "Well, I've hit my limit, this is it."
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Postby Okami94 » Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:36 am

Naruto "Don't believe it!" (lol dubs)
Sasuke (singing) "Don't worry,..be happy"
Hinata "Hey naruto, wanna go out sometime?"
Ino "Weight doesn't matter..."

Ichigo "You know, I think I'm strong enough."
John 16:33 <-- favorite verse!
Yeah,....I'm an anime freak.....:P
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Postby KhakiBlueSocks » Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:57 pm

[font="Trebuchet MS"][SIZE="4"][color="RoyalBlue"]Hinata (Naruto): "Come here you blond-haired hunk! I'm gonna MAKE you Believe it!"

Giniko (Mushishi): I REALLY need a girl...

Kino (Kino's Journey): Shut up Hermes, or I switch back to regular unleaded.[/color][/SIZE][/font]
Joshua: Hebrew -The LORD is Salvation

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Postby Tsukuyomi » Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:37 pm

Naruto: I don't believe it :o

Or, maybe he would?
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Postby KhakiBlueSocks » Wed Jun 24, 2009 4:47 pm

Tsukuyomi (post: 1322961) wrote:Naruto: I don't believe it :o

Or, maybe he would?


He would...

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Joshua: Hebrew -The LORD is Salvation

" wrote:RustyClaymore 11:27 - Ah yes, Socks is the single raindrop responsible for the flood. XD


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Postby Nate » Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:40 am

Tomoyo from Cardcaptor Sakura: "I like men now."
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Ezekiel 23:20
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Postby GeneD » Thu Jun 25, 2009 3:31 am

Bulma (DBZ): Kaaaameeeehaaameee....

Vash (Trigun): My hair has the power to defy gravity.

Shonen hero or villain: In an effort to stay on top in this fight, I will not explain my technique/power in great detail involving flashbacks, examples and a graph.
I don't know what broke to make you like this, but I must be broken too if I'm standing here praising your destructiveness. -Rock (Black Lagoon)

As I had encountered kindness, I wanted to be kind myself. -Takashi Natsume (Natsume's Book of Friends)

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Postby EricTheFred » Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:11 am

Any schoolgirl: "Is the hem on my uniform too short?"
Youkou (Holic): "Ignore it; it's just a coincidence."
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May He cause His face to shine upon you.
May He lift up His countenance and grant you peace.

Maokun: Ninjas or Pirates? (Vikings are not a valid answer, sorry)

EricTheFred: Vikings are always a valid answer.

Feel free to visit My Writing.com Portfolio

Largo: "Well Ed, good to see ya. Guess I gotta beat the crap out of you now."

Jamie Hyneman: "It's just another lovely day at the bomb range. Birds are singing, rabbits are hopping about, and soon there's going to be a big explosion."
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