Mature prayer topics (older or mature members only, please)

[xblack_x_rosesx]

Starting birth control is really messing me up, mentally.

I'm 18. I'm not READY to be taking birth control pills, but I know that if I don't take it, theres a chance that my boyfriend and I will be unsafe. I don't want to take that risk, but I don't feel like I'm mature enough to be even having this responsibility. I just want it to end.
In my head I'm not ready to be having sex, but my hormones take so much control, and my body just does all the work, while I'm sitting there in my head going "God doesn't want this, I don't want this... I don't want this... I don't want this..."

I talked with my boyfriend, and we're going to give the abstinence thing another shot. I mean, we've tried it OVER AND OVER AND OVER and it's been unsuccessful. I've never asked for prayer before, but please pray now that this time... something will click, and we can change.

I feel like my mind and my body are in CONSTANT conflict, and I'm caught somewhere in between.
It's really taking a toll on me.
(Read the next part at your own caution, please. It's girly and has to do with that monthly thing...)

[spoiler]That and I've been menstrating for almost TWO weeks. Not the five days like normal. I think its about 10 or 11 days now, and it's been heavy and I've been losing a lot of blood. I've only been on the pill 3 days, so I know it's probably not that since I talked to my dr. about it already, so... It's still really frustrating because it's just ANOTHER thing that's making this WHOLE situation difficult.[/spoiler]

I just feel like I'm so empty and I have no courage or strength or anything left to give. I just want to lie down and sleep for the rest of my life because I'm just so friggen drained. I don't know what God wants, I can't even find a way to START. I mean, i tried reading the bible, but I just can't make a connection.

I know it's not supposed to be easy, but I can't relate to anybody and their situations, because mine seem so... different.

Gah.
Anyway.

Please don't... even respond to this. I don't want to hear anything preachy, and I know everyone means well, but I always end up feeling worse because I feel like I'm SUCH a horrible, disapointing person because I can't change who I am. I really appriciate everyone here, and I thank everyone for everything. I just kind of needed to get this out there so that... I have some sort of motivation to change.

And I feel so bad for asking, because this is my problem, but if you could spare, prayers for strength would be nice... thanks.

Bee.

[shooraijin]

In answer to your medical note,

[spoiler]three days on a birth control pill is undoubtedly not the cause, it's too soon. The birth control bill may in fact help regularize and stop it -- we do use high doses to halt heavy periods, and women with very irregular periods will take them regularly to force a more or less normal cycle. You might want to stay on it anyway regardless of what you and your BF decide until it subsides.[/spoiler]

[xblack_x_rosesx]

Ok... thanks.
I was planning on staying on it anyway. I mean, I have a few months supply, so. If anything it'll "regulate" my cycle.

Thanks ^^

[goldenspines]

You're in my prayers, Roses. ^_^

[Reon]

Hey Rose, definitely praying for you.

I sent you a personal message with a link to my video response. You don't have to watch it, I pry sound like a complete idiot - but its a sincere message from my heart attempting to reach out to someone who seems to have a very similar experience to me.

[minakichan]

Well here's a thread I never imagined posting in.

And here's a line I never imagined posting: I might be going into a relationship with someone.

So, this is going to get a bit graphic (modsnip if needed please, not sure what's allowed in this thread). Um, so there's this thing. I found out that apparently, I'm really, really sensitive on the top of my head to the point that I can actually get stimulated there if it's rubbed for long enough. I found this out because That Person (we totally haven't DTR'd yet) rubbed it and it um, there was a reaction... Things got a little carried away and I let him touch me in other places (but NOT those places, more like the sides and stomach, through clothes)-- I totally wasn't thinking. DDD:

The latter part is probably a no-no, I feel, so that's going to stop. But what about the head-rubbing? Does it count as premarital sex if we're not actually having any genital/breast-y contact whatsoever? Is that really bad? Note that I'm an asexual and I don't ever plan on having genital ANYTHING in my life, so I don't consider any of this a precursor to that kind of stuff, but yeah. I don't ever want to be a not-virgin!

Thankfully, I'm not going to actually see this person for at least 3 months, so hopefully both of our heads will cool by then.

[shooraijin]

Basically, though, it's petting. And the problem with petting is it usually doesn't stop with petting.

I don't think it's sort of a division between touching and sex as it is a continuum. People can have sexual experiences without actually having intercourse, and the feelings that are developed can be nearly exactly the same. That doesn't necessarily make it any more of a good idea emotionally.

One problem you've noticed is that it's awfully hard for people who have chosen celibacy to completely avoid being sexually responsive in those situations. You've still got the parts, after all. If you really intend to be asexual, which is certainly something some people are called to, this is going to trip you up.

[minakichan]

Thank you. Those words were kind of a wake-up call and I think I've snapped out of it.

It was really enjoyable but I'll have to make it stop, even the head thing. (I'm sad but grateful for these three months...) To be honest, I don't know if any of this is a good idea because he's not a Christian, and well, my dad's atheist and my mom's Christian and they get along terribly, so I'm kind of scared about that. Also, I don't ever plan on getting married anyway-- so this obviously isn't dating-for-marriage. (Which means that I should avoid all relationships anyway?) It's bound to end in a break up, and while I fully expect this, I don't really know how to convey this without hurting the guy's feelings (especially since I kinda initiated it...).

I think calling this part off'll be OK. He's been very wary and asking for permission to touch me (and like an idiot I've just been like "uh huh uh huh" so clearly it's my fault for taking initiative and he's not forcing anything), and at the end we were both like "WAIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH US, RATIONAL PEOPLE DO NOT DO THIS" so. Again, not seeing him for a while will do wonders. Hopefully

Do you think things like touching hands and (heaven forbid) hugging is off-limits too for my case then?

On some level, I think it's just that I've had crushes on people before and this is the first time it's ever been somewhat reciprocated, so it just makes me feel really good and then I failorz at normal, rational thought. Frankly, I'm really disappointed at myself because I'm letting emotions run me instead of thinking rationally-- on a cerebral level, I don't believe in relationships and I think they mostly cause pain, but here I am apparently getting myself into one.

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[shooraijin]

I think you actually have a few things going on here.

I don't believe, myself, in dating without a purpose -- it's not fair on people. I don't think it's wrong, mind you, but I don't do it. Particularly when goals in a relationship aren't expressed, one of them thinks it's totally for keeps and the other thinks it's just for fun, and there's going to be a lot of hurt feelings when everything comes to the surface. If you don't intend to get married, which by the way is perfectly valid, I think you're going to do a lot less damage to people if that fact is clearly advertised.

That brings us to the whole asexuality topic. We're sexual beings and God wired us for sex, because without sex, there would be a whole lot less of us. The fact that it felt good is appropriate (the ethicality of the act is another issue; I'm just talking about your experience), because it's supposed to, but it also means it's not a good way to judge whether a celibate lifestyle is what you're intended for. Certain aberrations of anatomy aside, touching something and getting an orgasm from it doesn't necessarily mean you are or aren't supposed to be celibate; it simply means that's what that body part does.

The people I have met who are successfully asexual do it with a certain specific purpose, primarily because they have chosen a lifestyle incompatible with a relationship with the opposite gender. It could be a specific ministry, or a line of work that's hard on a spouse, or some outside commitment they know they are called to; they don't choose it and remain successful with it simply because they're trying to avoid relationships or human interaction, or because of other psychological issues. The people who pick asexuality for *those* reasons inevitably fail because they actually don't want to be asexual; they're just taking that route as a path of least-resistance, and when they give in to their totally natural sexuality they then beat the crud out of themselves for failing to be what secretly they never wanted to be in the first place.

It will be hard for you to make that call right now. If you don't know what to do, I think it's perfectly reasonable to not do anything (but that also means don't date, because if you do come to a decision and *he* doesn't, that's going to be very hard on him), but this is where you think through your specific goals for being asexual. If you have one clearly in mind, go for it. If you don't, consider the possibility that this experience may have given you the chance to think it through, and thus was a blessing in disguise.

[minakichan]

If you don't intend to get married, which by the way is perfectly valid, I think you're going to do a lot less damage to people if that fact is clearly advertised.

All right, I think a proper DTR is in order then. I've never had a relationship before (but people in church always say that this is what you do first!!) so yeah. I actually don't understand what dating is. It really feels like a social construct, like you go and hang out alone but you can't hang out alone with other guys? We've been hanging out as friends before... this, so I'm actually not sure what's going to change (especially since physical intimacy is now out of the picture).

On the topic of asexuality, yeah, I understand the celibacy is supposed to be for practical reasons. I guess for me, I want to be celibate because I don't want to be tied down and I ultimately want to be a career woman and only have to worry about myself (especially uh, given my pipe dream of country-hopping around Asia and BEING A MANGAKA, heh), but aside from that, I'm deathly afraid of um, certain aspects of male sexuality, if you know what I mean (and female sexuality is obviously a no-no). I think [spoiler]penetration[/spoiler] is disgusting and totally frightening, possibly due to some, er, trauma (nothing extreme, but yeah), and I will absolutely NEVER do it. I don't know if you consider that a legitimate reason, but this is something that I've spent a lot of time thinking about and am really sure of.

Thanks for the help. I'm pretty stupid when it comes to things like this.

[shooraijin]

But is physical intimacy clearly out of the picture for *him*? Is that something that you've made very clear and said out loud with no ambiguity? At least if you've done that, then your conscience is totally clean because you've made the limits of the interaction known, and any feelings he might have or develop are entirely his problem. But you're going to have to make this *continuously* clear, because being real, most guys aren't going to see the interaction that way. Speaking as a fully functional male, I have to do a lot of reality checks if I don't know where I stand with a girl, and certain expectations occur if we're out alone in situations that could be construed as romantic. You should just assume that's what's running through his head, and you need to deal with it right away.

We can say penetration in this thread, you know, it's supposed to be for talking about things like that :-P

Given your history of trauma, a fear of actual physical intercourse is a real and valid issue. If you know you don't want children, and have a specific life goal, and know that this pretty much precludes you ever getting married, *and* you can hold yourself to that, more power to you and I wish you all kinds of luck. But where I think you need to be absolutely clear, and totally immovable, is in your relationship with guys. You can't date under those circumstances; they're not going to see it your way, and you're going to get a lot of hurt feelings and wind up in situations you're not going to enjoy. Moreover, if you're certain that you can't have sex under any circumstances, don't put yourself in a position where it could occur because the damage might be even worse.

I do have to ask, though: was this something you ever sought counseling for? Even if this doesn't change your overall view, it sounds like it's affected you in some significant ways and that's a hard burden to carry.

[minakichan]

But is physical intimacy clearly out of the picture for *him*? Is that something that you've made very clear and said out loud with no ambiguity?

...Oh.

Right. That's... that's probably important to do, especially since previous actions are totally rife with potential misunderstandings...

This is all really complicated.

You can't date under those circumstances; they're not going to see it your way, and you're going to get a lot of hurt feelings and wind up in situations you're not going to enjoy.

Hmm... you really think so? The guy in question kind of already knows I'm asexual/not comfortable with male genitalia and things, although I suppose the petting thing sent a lot of mixed messages. Should I call it quits? I guess I'm not really sure how not being interested in physical intercourse matters in a not-dating-for-marriage relationship since I don't plan on having premarital. But yeah, I guess I need to be more vigilant about this.

And yeah, I've considered counseling, but it actually doesn't affect me in everyday life and wouldn't if I just don't have sex, so I don't feel like it's worth it.

[shooraijin]

I'm sure he knows, but what I don't think is clear is whether he's okay with that. A weaker guy will just say 'that's okay' when it's really not, when he doesn't know what to do. (Hint: that's also usually a bad sign, because it means you can't tell the difference.) And yes, it was a very mixed message, because the normal progression isn't simply to stop there.

Whether you call it quits or not is your call, but if you pinned me down, I would say you probably should strongly consider it. It's really hard for anyone to refocus a relationship when it's physically charged, and it's even harder for guys, which is why 'let's just be friends' really stings. Expect that if you do, it won't have a great end, but on the flip side of the coin, I don't know how much further it could have gone.

Your other choice is to say, "I kind of blew it, we sort of ended up in a situation that was somewhat physical and I don't think I'm ever meant for that. If you're okay with us simply hanging out, and if you're fine knowing that it's not going to ever be anything more than that, let's try to start over." But you're going to have to remind him of that periodically, and you're going to need to understand that one day he'll find someone else and that'll be the end of that. I don't know how he would react to you telling him this, but at least you would be fair, and I'm all about fair.

[Reon]

I actually don't understand what dating is. It really feels like a social construct, like you go and hang out alone but you can't hang out alone with other guys? We've been hanging out as friends before... this, so I'm actually not sure what's going to change (especially since physical intimacy is now out of the picture).

Your seeking knowledge. You want a sermon on dating? One that drastically impacted my life and if you sit down for an hour, with no distractions, should do the same for yours as well as equip you with knowledge?
[SIZE="5"]
http://www.bbe183.blogspot.com/[/SIZE]
I just tossed up one post about two days ago - with the entire sermon uploaded. I typed out a list of notes... if your not sure you want to listen to it roll through the notes and see if it might contain something.

(Note: I titled it "practice" for marriage - BUT its regarding 1) Dating 2) Pre-Dating 3) RELATING TO ONE ANOTHER (as a Christian) <----)



Btw, shooraijin is giving great advice. Especially the fact "you're going to need to understand that one day he'll find someone else and that'll be the end of that." If your not comfortable with that, you might need to re-evaluate if your putting God first in your life.
P.S. Your far from alone in where your at.

Simple Steps after going to http://www.bbe183.blogspot.com
1) Stop the song on the right
2) Start the sermon on the left
3) Sit back, listen, feel free to follow along with the notes

[minakichan]

Whether you call it quits or not is your call, but if you pinned me down, I would say you probably should strongly consider it. It's really hard for anyone to refocus a relationship when it's physically charged, and it's even harder for guys, which is why 'let's just be friends' really stings. Expect that if you do, it won't have a great end, but on the flip side of the coin, I don't know how much further it could have gone.

Your other choice is to say, "I kind of blew it, we sort of ended up in a situation that was somewhat physical and I don't think I'm ever meant for that. If you're okay with us simply hanging out, and if you're fine knowing that it's not going to ever be anything more than that, let's try to start over."

I was kind of planning to say that. He's a nice guy and he was always asking me for permission, so I think it'll be OK if I tell him I'm not interested in that side of things. We both know that it definitely got out of hand, and I get the feeling he was kind of ashamed of it too.

(Note: I titled it "practice" for marriage - BUT its regarding 1) Dating 2) Pre-Dating 3) RELATING TO ONE ANOTHER (as a Christian) <----)

The thing is, this is nowhere near a Christian relationship-- he's not Christian and I'm not interested in marriage, period. I know dating without the intent of marriage is pretty much dating for divorce in the future, but I guess I don't like being tied down anyway =/

Actually, at this point, I don't even know if we're dating or not. I think we're just "friends who happen to like each other."

Especially the fact "you're going to need to understand that one day he'll find someone else and that'll be the end of that." If your not comfortable with that, you might need to re-evaluate if your putting God first in your life.

I totally understand that; I'm going into this knowing that we're going to cut it off eventually, and my intention is that this happens as smoothly as possible-- the reason I'm wary of relationships in general is that I've NEVER seen a good one and all my girl friends who are in them are NEVER happy and they're too scared to break up when that's really in their best interest, and I don't want to be like that. So I'm pretty comfortable about cutting it off eventually, I'm just a bit worried he won't see it the same way. But right now, I probably like him more than he likes me, so maybe it's not an issue yet.

[Nate]

So out of curiosity anyone know if there's any way to destroy sexual desire short of getting castrated? Licorice root pills don't seem to work so well. I've heard birth control pills maybe do the trick? But I don't know if you can get 'em OTC and I'd feel weird buying them...

Yes, this is a serious question.

[shooraijin]

I am not aware of an over-the-counter birth control pill. There is Plan B, but it's behind the counter and it would depend greatly on the pharmacy. I don't recommend that route, however, because you're going to get other kinds of unwanted side effects.

[Tsukuyomi]

@Nate: Here are some tips I found ^__^

Take a black licorice supplement every day--300 grams should do the trick. Taking the licorice at the same time each day is most effective in reducing libido. It increases estrogen, which results in lower testosterone. This may, however, make you feel physically weaker as a side effect.

You've already covered this one, though >_>

Lower your caloric intake for the day. This is a temporary fix for a high libido. If you know you will be in a sexual environment, or surrounded by beautiful people, temporarily restrict your calories. The feeling of hunger lowers testosterone levels.

Gain weight. As opposed to the previous step, gaining weight is a long term libido lowering method. The more weight you gain, the more estrogen your body creates, and the lower your sex drive.

Eat a soy burger every day. Soy contains plant estrogen called phytoestrogen. Again, estrogen does a good job of lowering libido. If you prefer meat, there are supplements on the market that contain phytoestrogen.

You may not like this one, but it's worth a try right ^__^?

Treat that depression. Anti depressants quickly lower libido. To receive this type of medication, however, you must obtain a prescription from a doctor. That being said, this method is reserved for those that are already depressed and didn't realize the drugs could do double duty.

This one worries me <__>

[Nate]

I am not aware of an over-the-counter birth control pill. There is Plan B, but it's behind the counter and it would depend greatly on the pharmacy. I don't recommend that route, however, because you're going to get other kinds of unwanted side effects.

What kinds of side-effects? The reason I mentioned them is because I heard they increase estrogen? Or something. I know that this would result in lower physical strength (not a bother) but I also hear that for some reason it would also increase the risk of osteoperosis? Maybe I misread.

I don't wanna have to go to a pharmicist for this though...that'd be too weird and probably too costly... :\

Take a black licorice supplement every day--300 grams should do the trick. Taking the licorice at the same time each day is most effective in reducing libido. It increases estrogen, which results in lower testosterone. This may, however, make you feel physically weaker as a side effect.

I've been taking 100 g. Supposedly licorice kills off testosterone, which is how it works. The thing is, I've heard that large doses of licorice can be very detrimental to health. I read this on wiki, I dunno if it's a unique case or what, but it says,

"A 56-year-old Yorkshire woman was hospitalized after liquorice overdose (200 grams or 7 ounces a day), which caused muscle failure."

That kinda scares me which is why I'm a bit hesitant to take 300 g a day. It doesn't say how long she'd been doing it though, maybe she'd been taking 200 g a day for years. But still.

Gain weight.

*looks at gut* I think that one's taken care of...

Eat a soy burger every day. Soy contains plant estrogen called phytoestrogen.

Aw man...I hope they taste decent. >.>

[minakichan]

I don't wanna have to go to a pharmicist for this though...that'd be too weird and probably too costly... :\

Costly is an issue, but the weirdness, eh, it'd be like getting the pill for a girl as an errand? It's like a girl getting condoms for a guy, I think pharmacists have seen everything.

[shooraijin]

When you start mucking around with hormones, usually you start doing other things like inducing body parts that shouldn't be induced and the like. Speaking strictly from a medical point of view, testosterone antagonists(*) like Lupron would be the preferred way to do something like this, but very few physicians would be comfortable managing it. (I know I wouldn't be.)

Tsukiyomi brings up an interesting point about SSRIs, which is technically true, but not really useful enough to be used as a primary therapy.

On the whole you're going to find most of the medical options for this very unsatisfactory.

(*) technically a GnRH agonist but has the desired and functionally equivalent effect of suppressing secretion

[Nate]

Costly is an issue, but the weirdness, eh, it'd be like getting the pill for a girl as an errand? It's like a girl getting condoms for a guy, I think pharmacists have seen everything.

The prescription would have to be under my name, which means "Wait, why is a dude trying to get a prescription for birth control pills?" But if it doesn't really work that way I guess it doesn't matter. I'd just heard it mentioned, or maybe I misread, or something. I dunno.

I know about antidepressants reducing libido but again, getting a prescription...eh...to be fair I probably do suffer from mild depression, but I'd have to get officially diagnosed, probably get some therapy...too expensive.

To be honest I'm not opposed to castration. I'm perfectly willing to go for it, it's just I wouldn't know how to explain it to family members, and it can run fairly expensive too...I've heard a couple of thousand dollars? And I don't think it would really be covered by my health insurance either, which is why it's the least attractive option.

Hmm. I might up the dose on my licorice pills then, but I'll use them sparingly.

[Reon]

The thing is, this is nowhere near a Christian relationship-- he's not Christian and I'm not interested in marriage, period. I know dating without the intent of marriage is pretty much dating for divorce in the future, but I guess I don't like being tied down anyway =/

As a Christian I'm giving it to you as a tool to have to better equip yourself from a Biblical standpoint in all your relationships, with people who your just friends with, and potential suitors. The thing that scares me it that you said you "plan on cutting it off" only your haven't... That scares me because it sounds as though your leaving a hook that the devil would easily be able to grab hold of and pull you into a place you never planned on going in the first place - why don't you cut it off now and end the risk? I've watched to many of my friends "plan out the right way to act" and then fall into an area where "they're to afraid to break up" even though they know its the right thing to do. Personally I had never planned on having sex before marriage, had thoughts, gained a mindset against it. Only I made provisions for the flesh (hanging around with girls alone, not fooling around but becoming attached when we could have been in friend environments and at least have related in a Christian way :note: I wasn't Christian at the time).

Saying your going to end the relationship isn't the same as ending it. If you don't work on foundations and just "mind sets" there is a good chance you might fall into lust etc. Everyones different and this might not be the case for you, but are you really willing to risk it?

Secondly, regarding the topic I just talked about. One of my best friends and I were hanging out with a co-worker who was a girl. I made it very clear to her that I'd never hang out with her alone (Why? because I know from previous dates I've been on that I could have manipulated the girl if wanted to get her to become physically active with me - even if she would have originally "NEVER" done anything. Knowing this I wasn't willing to risk letting my "strong personal beliefs" even have a chance of coming into jeopardy.). (Note: I would hang out with her in public settings, such as a Starbucks or Denny's - aka: where people would be). My best friend didn't care if he hung around her, they both had a boyfriend and girlfriend. Well hanging out late one night they both got tired... ended up fooling around - something COMPLETELY against both there natures. Great right?

I can not stress enough of important I personally think it is to listen to the sermon I posted above. It's biblical ways on how to relate to one another (Christians to Christians/Christians to NonChristians). No matter how much I stress it its your decision to take the time and trust my judgement =) Hope my advice helped as well as the story and feel free to ask as many questions as you want. It's really hard to watch two best friends who both are in relationships where they fell in love and to watch "guilt" & "idolatry" tear their relationship with God and their significant other apart.

Sincerely,
Ryan


-PS. Regarding the hormones - I strongly believe if you CAREFULLY filter what you watch and hear you'll be much better suited. If you masturbate regularly - STOP and your hormones should decrease. I've been addicted to porn and sex, your body has natural ways to release built up hormones - Men: Don't think you can't get past blue balls... you can without masturbating (fluids built up are released in pee as well as the occasional wet dream). Here's some verses I got from this website that might help:

Ro 6:13 (NIV) Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life]

All I know is the less I masturbate (preferably NEVER), the less I lust, the less I check out women and get the urge to do any of the above. How important is it to you?

To be honest I'm not opposed to castration. I'm perfectly willing to go for it

From what I've heard even getting castrated doesn't stop "feelings" you get, it just stops you from being able to have sex. If I remember right from biology class, there's parts in your brain that release endorphins etc that create that urge more than your "private parts". With God all things are possible, I'm a firm believer that you can overcome sexual desire (maybe not completely, but to the point of where you don't feel the need to masturbate, lust, etc).

On a side note, exercising regularly to the point of sweating or just a great physical workout releases endorphins in your body that make you feel GREAT. It's not the same but similar to the feeling you get after having sex, it can feel great (note: I wouldn't say it makes you horny, just gives you a good feeling )

[Nate]

-PS. Regarding the hormones - I strongly believe if you CAREFULLY filter what you watch and hear you'll be much better suited.

Um not really. You don't think I've tried? I went offline for an entire week once, without any tangible results. The problem is I don't freaking know what turns me on. I can look at a Victoria's Secret catalog and not be affected in the least, but one day when I was at my job (I work in a warehouse) and I was moving some cucumber watermelon scented candles I got unbelievably horny. Don't ask me to explain because I have absolutely no freaking clue.

It's not random, at least, I don't think it is. It's just I'm weird. :\

If you masturbate regularly - STOP and your hormones should decrease.

Nine weeks without doing it didn't seem to help a whole lot...the nine weeks being the nine weeks I spent in boot camp. If three months doesn't regulate it then seriously what is the deal.

From what I've heard even getting castrated doesn't stop "feelings" you get, it just stops you from being able to have sex. If I remember right from biology class, there's parts in your brain that release endorphins etc that create that urge more than your "private parts".

You can still have sex after being castrated. Nothing's there to stop you. Castration is removal of the testicles, not the penis. :|

And no, the brain doesn't release more testosterone than the testicles. The similarity in names should be more than a clue as to the relationship between the two. Do you know what a castrato is? A castrato is a very high-pitched singing voice, belonging to a male. Do you know how you get a castrato? You castrate a young boy before he reaches puberty. The resulting lack of testosterone prevents his voice from deepening as he matures, as well as has other side effects. The point is that removing the testicles drastically reduces testosterone production to the point where even puberty is sidetracked.

If castration can prevent puberty from taking its normal course, I'm sure it can bring down my sexual desire.

[shooraijin]

At the risk of this going way off topic, castration would indeed deal with the desire problem because there would be no testosterone secretion. I'm not saying anything about the applicability of that option, but it would work.

[Reon]

Out of curiosity I did a little research into the castration/testosterone levels in an effort to see where else testosterone comes from. Really I don't see where else to post this unless I create my own "Mature" topic, but since this could be considered a response to a post above I'm just going to post it.

The following are links to online research I done in an effort to get a further look into male testosterone levels as well as further information on castration. As a side note, I'm very geared toward procreation in general as well as in my own life. I think it's a huge available blessing & experience as a part of marriage.
[SIZE="1"][color="DeepSkyBlue"]Does Castration Stop Rapists?[/color][/SIZE]

"If he was castrated, his testosterone levels would drop significantly but not all the way to zero. Most testosterone is produced by the testes, but some is made in the adrenal glands above the kidneys."

"Castration -- chemical or surgical -- is not a particularly good way of responding to sexual behavior,"

Below is just an interesting (and short) article:
[color="DeepSkyBlue"]The Chemistry of Sex Drive: It's All in Your Head (and in Your Drugs)[/color]

Nate you mentioned smell which I found rather interested. On a personal level, the smell of perfume can cause an adrenaline rush for me it seems - which I perceive to be me tieing that smell in my subconscious to women and experience. It also seemed to be mentioned in quite a few of the articles I read in the studies they did with rats. "Female mice apparently become as randy as males after their sense of smell gets tampered with, aggressively trying to mount any mouse that moves, research now reveals." <-Quote

[SIZE="1"][color="DeepSkyBlue"]Activity of Brain May Explain Men's Sex Drive[/color][/SIZE]

several sex differences have been identified in areas of the brain called the limbic regions -- those that regulate reproductive behavior

[SIZE="1"][color="DeepSkyBlue"]Your Brain: The Other Sex Organ[/color][/SIZE]

The brain has receptors for the sex steroids—progesterone, estrogen, and testosterone—secreted by the gonads, and it will respond to these signals, so the gonads modify the brain and vice versa (3).

After reading all these articles as well as reading up on glands and hormones, it appears the above posts seem to be right. The removal of the gonads (testicles) drastically reduces testosterone and thus the majority of sex drive. Although sex drive can still come from the brain, its not nearly as strong without the testicles. Aka: Castration will decrease sex drive, not eliminate it.

I'm not gonna lie - it was interesting... only now I'm dead bored. Nate, now I'm gonna be bugged till I can figure out more about this - only I'll pry let time and information outside of my own research hopefully answer this question. I'll definitely be praying about this and if you or I get more information I hope its posted =) <3 ya bro

[xblack_x_rosesx]

I hate myself. I am so stupid and this is too effin hard for me.
I can't get myself out of this hole I'm in, and I feel too used up to bother trying anymore.

I can't stop having sex. I mean, I tell myself CONSTANTLY that I need to be strong, and God is with me, and all this stuff. But then I just... it's not even "urges" or "temptation" it's just... I don't see any POINT in trying to stop now. I don't see anything WRONG with sex. All my life I've been made out to see it as this... "thing" that people do to have babies, and ONLY if you're married.
But it's not like that at all. It's like making out- it feels good and is just between two people. It's just a connection. I don't GET why what I'm doing is so friggen evil.

GAHISDFAS.
SO THEN. I'M ALL "HEY, I'M GOING TO BE ABSTINATE FOR THREE WEEKS." And I get like, two days in, and then he starts being super romantic and stuff out of the blue, so of course my plan fails.
I don't know what to do. Pretty much, EVERY single night I say to God "Hey, listen... I'm trying, its just hard... but I WILL change, I just... need strength, and time." But in the back of my head I'm going "How can I POSSIBLY change if I see nothing wrong with it? It's like ice cream. If all of a sudden I said ' I will never eat chocolate ice cream again' but I had no reason, why would I stick to it if it was just for the heck of it?'"

adhfjsahfdjjasdfasdf

FRIG.
I feel like I'm getting to the point where I just won't care anymore, about ANY aspect of my religious life.
I feel like I'm almost done with this. I feel like a dried up Christian who should just give up and binge on life then come crawling back or something.

ADSFJ.

I needed to rant.
Sorrryyyy.
I'm making little progress and it frustrates me.

[shooraijin]

I don't mean to be crass, but a horny boyfriend is unlikely to help you very much with this.

[xblack_x_rosesx]

I don't mean to be crass, but a horny boyfriend is unlikely to help you very much with this.

I know, I know.
But I'm in a really good relationship.

That and, I've considered this scenario, and it really really scares me:
Breaking up with my boyfriend.
I honeslty think I could be ok with one night stands.
Which scares me a lot, because I'm SO against that, and that's not who I am.
I don't know WHY I would. I mean, thats NOT the kind of person I am. I didn't even start having sex with my boyfriend until we'd been dating TWO YEARS.
But I just feel so... rebellious against Christianity in general lately. Like, I don't see a problem with sex, but my parents do, and a bulk of christians, and all REAL christians do, but because I don't have a problem with it, I feel like I can just take all I can get to be spiteful.
So like, in my head I'm logical about all this, but then... the rest of me starts taking over and...

GASDFGADSKJFSADF/
I AM GETTING SO FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

EVERYONE tells me that using your head when it comes to religion is wrong. The second you start analysing things, and questioning things, and thinking about things is when you start losing faith. You should follow your heart, and your faith, and your conscious, and God.
But I'm like the opposite. I KNOW all this stuff I'm doing is wrong. I KNOW what I have to do, and I KNOW how to instigate it. But like, the rest of me just takes over and wants to p--- someone, I don't even know WHO, off.

ASDFKJSADKFJ

I'm... SO mad at myself. I just want to ram my head against a wall or take a hatchet to my face. I don't DESERVE ANY of the ENORMOUS amount of blessings God gives me when I CONSTANTLY mock him. When I continously cry wolf, and tell him I promise to change, but make no effort.
I don't know what to do.
I feel like theres nothing I can do anymore.

AKDSJFDSAFKDSAFKJDSAFJKADSFJKDSAF

I'M SO FRUSTRATED.

(Sorry, I REALLY just need to rant... if people want to respond, go ahead, but I'm not crying out for help or anything... gah. I don't even know. I'm just very upset with myself.)

[Tsukuyomi]

If you truly have no problems with having casual sex (that's basically what it is, unless you guys are married), then what's the problem? Why do you feel so guilty? You obviously do think it's wrong, because if you didn't you wouldn't be beating yourself over head about this.. now would you o.o?

Abstinence is possible after sex. You just have to work at it, and you have to want to work at it as well >_>

With all things failing, I'd suggest separating from him. Not break up, but separate.. put space between the two of you, and if he ends up finding another, then (I'm sorry to say this) he was clearly only in the relationship for one thing u_u

Not only does separation bring two people closer, but it's also a great relationship tester ^__^