Needing answers

[Phantom_Sorano]

Heyo.

There are quite a few people on this site that have heard my testimony and have a vague idea about my life at the moment.
Well, I am thinking about doing something very drastic....and I am not sure if it is what God wants me to do.
Don't get me wrong, I am not wanting to do drugs or kill myself (been there done that), but this step is big.
I feel as if this step isn't taken, God's plan for my life will be ruined.

Please pray for me....I desperately need his guidance. I have already started to take steps and I have something planned out....

I have been thinking about this for a few monthes now, but I am always guilted or bribbed out.

I would love some prayers and someone to talk to. Thanks.

[goldenspines]

I'll be praying for you, Soran. I think no matter what decision you make, God can still work it out for good. I don't think anything can be totally ruined beyond God's power. ^_^ But keep talking to Him about it; He'll show you the way to go.
And, feel free to shoot me a PM (or IM, if you have it) anytime; I'm always happy to listen.

[Phantom_Sorano]

*sigh*

Sadly, Miss Mary... I haven't been hearing from Him. Things are escalating into more disasterous territory.
Not only do I feel the pressure and evil from the people, I am feeling and seeing demonic things aswell....I just don't think I can take anymore.

Thanks for your prayers and concerns, buddy. ^_^;

[Ante Bellum]

I hope that, whatever happens, you will get through this. I will pray for you.

[Phantom_Sorano]

Thanks...

[Ante Bellum]

I understand when you say that you are getting negative feelings from others, I get the same. It is hard to avoid or even ignore them, and I don't know whether it is something to consider as a blessing. You may be going through a spiritually dry time, but all I can say is, follow your soul. If this is what you truly think is right, then it can't be all wrong, at least that is how I believe it to be.

[goldenspines]

[quote="Phantom_Sorano (post: 1312703)"]*sigh*

Sadly, Miss Mary... I haven't been hearing from Him. Things are escalating into more disasterous territory.
Not only do I feel the pressure and evil from the people, I am feeling and seeing demonic things aswell....I just don't think I can take anymore.

Thanks for your prayers and concerns, buddy. ^_^]

*hugs* God is there, Soran.
Reading the Psalms may help when you're feeling discouraged. David was always complaining to God about his enemies winning over him, but God is always faithful to him in the end. Such as this:

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him and He will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes. -Psalms 37:5-7

Still praying.

[Tsukuyomi]

*Hugs* I'll be praying for you, Sorano ^__^

Perhaps, that nagging negative feeling is His message to you ?

[Midori]

Somebody read a poem in our church recently:

The man whispered
"God, speak to me"
and a meadowlark sang.
But the man did not hear.

So the man yelled
"God speak to me!"
And the thunder rolled across the sky,
But the man did not listen.

The man looked around and said,
"God let me see you"
And a star shone brightly
But the man did not notice.

And the man shouted,
"God show me a miracle"
And a life was born,
But the man did not know.

So, the man cried out in despair,
"Touch me God and let me know that you are here!"
Where upon God reached down and touched the man.
But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.

God likes to hang out where you don't expect him to be. I'm praying for you Soran.

[Phantom_Sorano]

Thank you so much for your prayers and good words....my heart swells from them.

To let you in on a bit more....it comes at different levels.

Because of finances, I live at home with my family. We are not the most well-to-do, and I have been struggling and fighting in school for years to have grades high enough for good scholarships. But it is my family that is hindering me.

My mother and father have been no help to my education, and have constantly tried to make me drop out and work for the family. I have made it through high school, however, at the top of my class. I have gotten some financial aid, but most has been lost due to the workings of my parents.

Now here is the rough part.
I live in a very un-Christian, semi-violent, and stessful home. Because of this, I have always been walking on egg shells, battling with alcohol and depression, and the physical and emotional drawbacks.

Now I have the chance at freedom. An older friend went through a very similiar childhood. They have offered to let me come and live with them as long as I need until I get up and running. The atmosphere there is very peaceful and loving, which is all new to me. It has gotten so bad were I am now, that I have seen and felt demonic presenses.

So....I need for God to tell me to either stay or leave.

Thanks so much guys....I have no where else to turn.

[Gelka]

I'll also keep you in my prayers. I hope everything works out for the best. ^^