Being useless

[SnEptUne]

I have been employed as a software engineer for over a month. At the beginning, I was stressed over the lack of work on my part, probably because I am new. I finally got a project, which is to do performance analysis of another team's modules. I was very happy about being useful finally and have more or less completed it on time. Yet, the results are not what we would have expected, and thus I am told to do the testing again and again, yielding the same results everytimes. It seems as if there is no point in me doing anything for the last two weeks, but repeatedly running the same tests, which will yield more or less the same result. I have no life outside of work, and now that I am being useless again at work. I cannot make any friend in my workplace either, probably because I am ugly and weird. Is there any point for me to remain? Maybe I should just quit, but in this economy I will probably starve to death, which although is fine by me, would sadden my parents.

[Midori]

I am praying that God will show you an unexpected way through your troubles. Don't give up hope!

[Song_of_Storms]

[SIZE="1"]Don't give up hope, Sneptune! We're always going to be the most critical judges of ourselves. You're not worthless! You should pray about this. I'll pray as well. ^w^/[/SIZE]

[freerock1]

Lifting you up, my friend. Like Song_of_Storms said, you are not worthless. In the times you're tempted to think that, think about what Psalm 139:13-16 says (divinity capitalized):

For You created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in Your book
before one of them came to be.

As far as not making friends... well, if I can say this the way I mean it... Information Technology people are often a strange bunch. (I work in IT at my job I've dealt with plenty of other IT people, so I can say it. ) Some of them can be really nice, then turn around and be some of the biggest jerks. My guess is that you're experiencing some of that.

My advice: Try not to be like that. Instead, take a positive attitude as much as you can. Don't be the one who always speaks a negative word in the office, but be the one who encourages. I can't promise it will always be accepted, but I think you'll find your own outlook is different. Also, show yourself to be friendly. I know that can be more difficult when you're shy, but you might just make some friends that way. And if you've done all you can to be friendly and they don't accept it, they're probably not the kind of person you want for a friend anyway.

I'd also be cautious about allowing myself to be too "unbusy," especially in this economy. If you find yourself with nothing to do, seek tasks on the job that you can do. If you can't find anything, seek training and educational resources offered by your employer. It should show your bosses that you appreciate having your job and want to do the best job you can. Is it kissing up? Yeah, sort of. But in this economy especially, it may help you out in the long run.

Anyway, hopefully this is of some encouragement. I'll be lifting you up in prayer.

[SnEptUne]

Thanks a lot for the prayer. I realized that people are just too busy at work to assign me new tasks, which requires many walkthrough and explanations. I figured out some ways to convince others of my repeative results, although I am probably still too dumb to come up with solutions quick enough, especially when it deals with Microsoft Windows, which tends to work against me instead of working for me. The company policy is very restrictive, almost to the point of disallowing all non-Micorosft software. I have to break this policy or I will go crazy at this rate. I meant, why on earth is it so difficult to extract every nth line, every odd columns of a 1GB text file on Windows... I shouldn't need to write a program to do something this simple. Sorry for the ranting.

Anyway, I got depressed easily when I don't have anything to do, so it would be really nice if I can just ask for more projects. I will see if I can help with writting documentations at the very least.

Thanks again for the prayer.

[Ratrace]

I figured out some ways to convince others of my repeative results, although I am probably still too dumb to come up with solutions quick enough

It's my understanding that there's no shortage of IT workers, so I have to assume you're wrong about that part since you got the job in the first place.

especially when it deals with Microsoft Windows, which tends to work against me instead of working for me.

It does have that reputation. if your having specific problems I'm sure people in the tutorials section can help you out.

Anyway, I got depressed easily when I don't have anything to do, so it would be really nice if I can just ask for more projects. I will see if I can help with writting documentations at the very least.

You could try finding one of these busy people and convincing them that they'll be less overworked if they show you how to help them.
Completion Time = Time spent working against
Completion Time = Time spent working + Time training co-worker - time co-worker spends working

I'll be praying.

[foolishbunny]

look up "how to" do what ever you need help on and play some music in the back ground maybe some kind of gospel to calm your soul