Need more motivation and "caring"

[Momo-P]

I'm sure everyone's had this happen, but I still wants prayers for it anyways...lately the devil's been trying to make me doubt my Savior (which I believe I mentioned in another thread) and that has obviously been irritating me. It's like no matter how many things I write out to myself to prove that Jesus is God, it's like...I know He is, yet satan has still one part of me doubting and he won't let go of that part. Like my coat's stuck in the door and I can't proceed forward. I try...I pray and read and keep reminding myself of the facts. I probably have more facts to support that Jesus is God than most people have even given thought to, so it almost makes it more annoying than it would be in the first place. Kind of like if you knew 2+2=4 and something kept making you feel like it wasn't. It's so stupid to doubt it because YOU KNOW it's true, but that's how I feel right now.

Like I said, I'm sure others have felt this way before and I know the Holy Spirit will help me, but it's just...really hard. I also keep feeling like I don't care as much. Like before this stuff really bothered me and I worried so bad. I guess some could say it's GOOD I'm not worried (like that's only feeding into what the devil wants), but I'm so use to freaking out. It feels wrong and, even though crying and worrying over this would suck, I gotta admit...I kind of really want to. Just so I know I care. I want to feel a real longing for God. I'm sure I have one (I guess me even asking this proves I do), but it's like...I don't feel it. And I know faith has nothing to do with feelings, but unfortunately I connect feelings so badly to things and I can't stop doing it.

Sorry for wasting your time and life, but if anyone can pray, I would really appreciate it. I don't want to focus on anything in life until my relationship with my Father is better again. In fact it scares me and makes me feel sick to think it might not get better...

[Prince Asbel]

I'll certainly pray, Momo-P. But why do you constantly think satan is behind your doubt? I mean, I wish you'd respond here so that I know you're looking for some kind of help. Are you consistently going to places where people worship other Gods or something? Are you involved with some activity that involves Satanism or anything?

P.S. I'm not suggesting you're involved in Satan worship. But really, if you still feel like Satan himself is constantly coming after you to mess with your mind, I can't help but feel like there's something you do on a consistent basis where Satan would feel invited.

Again, please respond to this, okay? You didn't respond last time, and it will be really disappointing if you don't this time.

[Kunoichi]

Hey Momo,

Satan is the father of all lies. But we ourselves are fighting against our soul. "My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak." I can identify with the doubt and don't feel bad that "others go through it also." After all, this is your life and your struggle. it may not be "unique" but you are the only you and you have to go through it..unfortunately.

On a side note and Prince I don't mean this as an attack, I don't happen to agree with your questions. Just because she feels Satan is attacking her mind (which happens a lot) does not mean that she alone is putting herself in a situation such as going to pagan places or involved into a Satanic activity. And I do understand your view that perhaps there is something going on because she is getting attacked often...but so did Job and he was a follower of God too. Sometimes we just go through a period of trials. Whether that be on a physical, emotional, mental or spiritual plane

At the same time, finding the demonic under every napkin isn't the way to go either. However, Momo, I feel that Satan and our own nature can cause us to doubt...and ya know what? There is NOTHING wrong with doubt! In fact, it can lead us on a journey to discovering our God more. Our God is BIG ENOUGH to handle our doubt, our anger, our feelings, our hurts and anything else!

So take heart dear sister, God is big enough and will help you through this struggle too. Sometimes I believe we go through these periods to learn how to battle our own nature, Satan and to become that much more dependent on him.

PM if you need anything