Taken a bad thing and turning it into a positive message

[Roy Mustang]

I wrote this the other day and a few members that read it, felt that I should post this at the board.

The first thing that I want to say is thank you the members of board. When I first came to board, I was very unsure of even telling people what I had. I have had to deal with the good and bad views from Christians about my lifestyle.

Over the years, I lost and gain friends online and in real life after they knew about my past. when I wrote about my past history of my life in the Testimonies & Spiritual Growth form of the board a few years ago, I didn't search for pity or wanted people to feel sorry for me. I never felt pity or sorry for myself in life for what I had or had to deal with. I had to be strong and just go on and trust God and my faith in him. Over the years, I learn that having this wasn't that bad, because it made me stronger in what I believe in and with God. What I have and had to deal with is what made me who I am today. I've been ask a few times before that, if I could have a wish. Would I wish that I hadn't been born with a heart problem and having aids. The answer to that is no, if I had my life to do all over again, I would want everything that has happen to me over my short 28 years of life to happen. As Anthony Perkins once said, "I have learned more about love, selflessness and human understanding from the people I have met in this great adventure in the world of AIDS than I ever did in the cut-throat, competitive world in which I spent my life."

I know that I had some people say I'm a bit of a hero in how strong I am and I get up every day and not let AIDS get to me. But I don't feel like that, I feel the ones that are the heroes in this case, would be the ones that fought it and are not here with us today or the families that lost a love one to AIDS, cancer or have a child that is in a wheel chair and have to fight everyday to put a smile on their face and be there for them.

When I came to the board. All I wanted was to be treated just like every one else and not look in another way. I thank you all that I have been treated that way and I thank the staff and the people that I became friends with on the board for the support.

I have to say that I thankful for a special lady that I have been talking to on many long nights about these kind of issues of my life and her and me talk about tonight, made me want to write this part after we talk more about my past. I can tell her now that I love her and she helps me in a way that I never felt that I would ever seen in my life.

What bugs me is, people that take small little things in life and blow them up into a big deal. They feel that just because some things have happen to them, they should be rewarded with pity or use their pity on others as a guilt trip to others. Then you have the people that are on the same level and just because another person has had it harder in life and doesn't agree or like that kind of view, they think you are a jerk or cuss you out for it.

The sad thing about it all is, they don't see how selfish they are and not following the teachings of God. If you really believe in him and trust him, then you would take the bad things that has happen to you and turn them into a positive message. They also should think and be thankful that don't have to deal with cancer, being in a wheelchair, blind or deaf and losing an arm or a leg...etc. Look at ones that had to deal wit those issues and they have turn them into a positive message about hope and faith in the Lord.

They also should be thankful for the good things then sitting around feeling sorry for their self. It bugs me, when people do this and never see how lucky they are or they are alive.

One of my good friends at the clinic was a hemophiliac. He got aids just like me. I was 16 and he was 14 and I watch him slowly die. The last thing that made him happy was the puppy that my family got and gave to him. That was the last thing that he had in his life and he love that dog, even if he was dying.

I also think about the two other kids that got the thymus transplant. It was just three of us that got pick to have this transplant, the boy was 6, the girl was 8 and I was 13. I was the first to get it, back in Dec of 1993. I had the surgery a few days before Christmas and joke that if this works, this will be the best gift that I every got in my life. It was and I was thankful for it. Sadly, the other two didn't make it long after they had theirs. Since I was the first one to have it, I went and saw both of them in the hospital and to give them and their family hope that it could work. To to this day, I still feel like I failed them, since I was the only one of the three that made it.

It was a week before my 13th birthday that I found out that I had aids and the mac germ. I didn't sit around feeling sorry for myself or thought it was the end. I told my mom and dad that I was going to beat this, I was fighter from the day that I was born.

My family said to the doctors that I was going to beat this and everything would be fine, when the doctors give me six months to live in the fall of 1993.

I never gave up on God, when this happen or hope. I don't feel that I'm a special for what I had to deal with in life. I just feel that deep down, there was a special message that I was to give out and it was what God had plan for me. I have to keep growing with God and sharing my message. Maybe its time for others to think about what they have had to deal with and become stronger with God and take a bad thing and turn it into a good message for others.

[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Red"]Col. Roy Mustang[/color][/font]

[ADXC]

Hey, thanks Roy for posting this because we all need a new perspective. I realize these years have been tough for you, but it's quite amazing that through God you could prove the doctors wrong. I feel that you will live a long life and that the Lord will use you just as he is using you right now through this post and the others things that you do.

I just hope others can read this post.

[termyt]

Thank you for sharing this with us.

There is always someone who has life easer than you and there is always someone who has it harder. The trick is to concern yourself with your own situation and give thanks to God for your life and its hardships.

You are very wise. Thanks again!

[Kunoichi]

Hey Roy,

Thanks for sharing!

I never knew of your past, until this post, and while I know you don't want to be "blown up" so to speak, you do have a lot of courage to keep going. Its easier to give up and its easier to just want people feeling sorry for you.

So I am also glad that you are willing to share your struggles and what's going on with you, not because of pity but to get people to realize that you can go through something hard and horrible and yet still be used by God for good.

That is the biggest thing I am personally learning.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

It's not your fault!
You are a pillar of strength and courage and truth, Roy.
God loves you so much and you are an inspiration to us (God knows I complain about the smallest things - God why did you make me with poor eyesight - wah, wah, wah) and you?
With your amazing love for the Lord and your trust in him you make me look like a chump (I mean that as encouragement). I'm learning a thing or two.
Thanks for sharing your story.
God Bless mate.

[xblack_x_rosesx]

You're very strong.

While reading it, these words kept coming into my mind, and I can't explain why.
"He's meant for great things."
You're message of strength and endurance is incredible.
God Bless

[Roy Mustang]

I want to stay thanks for the comments, I really needed them right now.

I also think about the two other kids that got the thymus transplant. It was just three of us that got pick to have this transplant, the boy was 6, the girl was 8 and I was 13. I was the first to get it, back in Dec of 1993. I had the surgery a few days before Christmas and joke that if this works, this will be the best gift that I every got in my life. It was and I was thankful for it. Sadly, the other two didn't make it long after they had theirs. Since I was the first one to have it, I went and saw both of them in the hospital and to give them and their family hope that it could work. To to this day, I still feel like I failed them, since I was the only one of the three that made it.

I know that its not my fault that I never did fail them, but its something that I have a hard time letting go.

Today, 15 years ago, would have been the day that I had the thymus transplant.

Its been a happy day for me and the gift that I got. But I still think about the other two that didn't make it.

[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Red"]Col. Roy Mustang[/color][/font]