Torn between 2 things...

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Torn between 2 things...

Postby Spector » Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:26 am

I will try not to rant much, but I tend to.

Iam torn between 2 things, its troubling my heart VERY much, and the timing couldnt be worse.

1. For the past 3 years I guess you could say I have grown QUITE fond of girls...and yet Iam quite the hopless romantic. When I see a girl, I look at her face before anything else, while my friends/coworkers would be making sexual jokes. I guess you could so say I appreciate the finer things in a girl herself, more than sex, so I know my hearts in the right place when it comes to love. Quite simply, I like being loved more than..anything else it would involve. And simply put..I want, and have always wanted a girl to call my own!

..but, even still..

2. While its sad, yet true, I have never really considered myself REALLY close to God. I can say I have openly discussed and supported God in, for example, a conversation with a Buddhist friend, a Muslim turned Christian friend, and and been the best Christ-like example I could be in rooms full of non-believers...But yet, I rarely read my Bible, and now its scaring me.
Even someone who doesnt actively read the Bible (but still believe) can CLEARLY see just how little time is left, which both scares someone "just qualifying" to be a Christian (for lack of a better phrase), and, brings me to my first thing...I've bearlly had a girlfriend, and hate it.

Something stupid and trivial in the bigger picture of eternity? Yes..but this is my point of view, however dumb it is:

Fact 1. I love to be loved, and have ALWAYS been very lonely, with my lack of girl skills.
Fact 2. I KNOW that God is far more important than 300 years with the most Christ-like girl, even if I dont act or think it.
But 3. When I think Heaven (BESIDES being with God), I think gold streets, my own house (made by God) and no sin. Great, yes..but truth be told, I would give up ALL the gold streets in the world for the love of a girl!

Result: When I see how close the rapture is, and how far I really am from God, it only makes me think more about a girl, and how I wont get one...but when I focuse more on that, I can feel the Holy Spirit bring my attention back to God. ITS THE MOST FRIKIN HARD TUG OF WAR GAME I HAVE EVER SEEN!

I recognise my problem, but no amount of thought and prayer to God really seemed to help ease my hard pressed heart. So now, Im letting a community know. I KNOW the answer is to get closer to the eternal God...But Im just always VERRRRY lonely!

Please help! :rant:
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Postby Prince Asbel » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:19 am

As to your first point, I'm pretty much at that point as well. :(;) I am very fond of girls, I appreciate everything about them (Including the non-sexual), and I really wish I had a girl I could call my girlfriend, and a girl who would like me enough to be my girlfriend (And eventually, wife. When the time comes, of course.).

Now to your second point. Reading your Bible is obviously important. I recommend getting into apologetics. That really made me read my Bible, believe you me. Atheismisdead.blogspot.com has debates between Christians and Atheists, and I encourage you to listen to them. Especially the debate between Greg Bahnsen and Gordon Stein, and Paul Manata and Dan Barker.

Fact 1. I love to be loved too. Although I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'girl skills'. I have casual relationships with girls at my church, and it didn't take any 'girl skills' to gain them. At least, none that I can remember. Perhaps that's your problem, no casual relationships?
Fact 2. Okay.
Fact 3. Me too.

Dude, I don't know why you think this, but the rapture is nowhere near us. Plus, there should be no tug of war between boy-girl relationships and our relationship with God. And let me reassure you, just because you feel lonely despite your relationship with God, that is no reason to suspect that you aren't serious about God.

God can be our ultimate and final resort of comfort and happiness, yes. However, God is no replacement for the kind of pleasure the company of a girl can bring. Reading the Bible is not a good replacement for everything. I need to eat, but the Bible cannot help me with getting food. I'll still be hungry, no matter how much I read the Bible. In the same way, you and I are still going to be yearning for a girlfriend no matter how much we read the Bible. My advice to you is 1. Get into some casual relationships with some girls if you haven't already, and 2. Wait however long a time untill it's been established that you're a good, decent friend. 3. At that point, I'd say it's up to you. If you've decided there's a girl in your circle that you're interested in, ask her if she'd like to pursue a deeper relationship with you. If not, then you'll have to wait.

Oh, and seek advice from friends in the real world too.
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Postby Etoh*the*Greato » Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:09 am

We can look on TV and say, "Man, things are getting pretty bad. We must be close to the end times," But I'll tell you this: We can't know that. Even Jesus was not permitted the knowledge, so there's no way for us to really know. Are things bad all over? Yep. But they've also always been bad. Like almost equally. Bad stuff happens. Every day. And it is my firm belief that the level of badiosity has not actually increased in the thousands of years since Jesus walked the earth.

Maybe it'll come tomorrow. Maybe it'll come in another two thousand years. We don't know. Continue to live your life. Yes, get close to God because you do want to be prepared, but also continue to live your life.
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Postby Lengai » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:53 pm

We've been there, babe. It's hard to feel unloved. We weren't made to be alone - we were made to walk with God. And, for some people (as Paul said) need to be married, and others are not. You sound very much like you fall into the first category. There's nothing wrong with wanting a special woman in your life, to share your life with. It's beautiful, actually. And you know what? When that girl, who God does have for you, comes along, you'll know it. Girl skills or not. Above all, be friends with these woman you're attracted to. The best relationships are forged on the base of being best friends. It's hard. But it'll be worth the wait.

It's good that you at least recognize that you're are the best example of a Christian. That itself is a very good step. It means you WANT to follow Christ more and know Him more, rather than people who really are just 'passing' as Christians - those who care more about having their fire insurance and going about their debauchery. You have a desire to grow and learn, and that's what counts. You are conscious of being a Christian example, and talking to friends (of other faiths or the same) about God is wonderful. As far as reading the Bible goes, no one is perfect. If you want to improve, you're just going to have to sacrifice time or something and just do it. Find something that really hits home with you and just read. The Psalms are always great to just pick up and read.

God put in our hearts the desire to give and receive love. It's perfectly okay. We need the love of God and the love of other people. Heaven..Oh, heaven. I used to think, "I don't really want the Rapture to come..Because I haven't gotten married or had children yet!" God put in us the desire to LIVE, too. He wants us to have a good life on Earth before the BEST life after it. You can want a woman's love and get closer to God at the same time. Find a godly woman.

Heaven..WOW. I think it's going to be SO much more than we can imagine. Perfect, new, immune and beautiful bodies, completely fulfilled in who God made us to be, realized entirely, all in the constant and never-ending love of God that can be compared to no other love. Complete. Whole. I used to dread the End, I really did. I'm not saying I want it right now, either, but I look forward to it.

But, as I said. This doesn't need to be an either/or situation. If you can find that godly woman God has for you, you can get closer to Him AND have this love that you crave so much. From both God and this girl.
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Postby SnEptUne » Thu Nov 06, 2008 5:28 pm

I believe the "girl skills" he meant is the ability to be open, casual, and calm when talking with girls. But that's just my interpretations.
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Postby 12praiseGOD » Thu Nov 06, 2008 6:33 pm

Praying for ya! ^_^
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-meaning he is with us all the time.[/color][/color]

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meaning- "If you don't trust GOD, you'll be caught in the problem."- myself[/color]

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Postby Kankokujin » Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:05 pm

I will pray for ya. I will pray that you will find the right someone and that it would be pure as well as thankful to God.
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Postby Gabriel 9.0 » Sun Nov 09, 2008 11:37 pm

I'm fond of girls too....Even in a non sexual manner( been tempted a lot with losing my virginity before meeting mrs right , my future wife provided by God) , wish I could have one as a girlfriend and eventually as a wife to spend the rest of my life with, XD. Which I trust in God and know will happen at the right time.

You're not alone in this struggle, but we will all triumph in the end and God will send us guys the right women to get married to( that is if some of us don't already know that right girl to marry) , while he'll give ladies the right to get married to in the future along with other great things. Remember anything is possible with the Lord . And you have my prayers.:thumb:
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A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
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There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

Hebrews 4-4
1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
2For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
3For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
4For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.



James 4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.



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Postby termyt » Mon Nov 10, 2008 6:51 am

It's not a competition.

Those are two needs you have. One is more important than the other. If you are feeling conflict, then that probably means you are devoting more resources to the one you believe is less important.

You need to prioritize. You can do both so long as everything remains in its proper place. (Of course, this is often quite difficult)

With God, it's also not about what you do, but who you are. Someone who reads 5 chapters a day is not better off than someone who reads only 1.

I do not know God's plan for you. It could husband and father, it could be estranged homeless lunatic. Either way, I know you will be happier with Him than with any girl, so don't settle for anything less than God's choice for you.
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Postby Roz » Mon Nov 10, 2008 9:31 am

Have you read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and "Boy Meets Girl" by Josh Harris? I really liked them. They have some very good insights/advice on the subject. "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" is a good one to start with IMHO.

I'll pray for you.

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