Lately..... I just don't know where to go in life....... I'm tired of being stuck here in Florida.
I almost just wanna move. I feel there's nobody here I can trust that I get to talk to every day and that most people I can't or don't want to trust anyway...... There's only one person here that I feel I can trust and get to talk to every day.
Everybody else is online... All of the people I've come to be able to trust are people that are online... My best friends in the world are all online. I love them to death...... but I wish I could be with them often. It's not the same if it's not in person. You can't give them real hugs or hear their voices all that other good stuff about having the best friend in the whole wide world.
I almost just wanna leave Florida for college, but unless God's will says otherwise and I get a scholorship or something else happens.... looks like I'm stuck here.
I wish I could move to Tennesee. One of my teachers recommended a college to me there because they have a great singing program. Also, my best friend in the whole world wants to go to the exact same college if he doesn't get a scholorship. If he does get the scholorship we could still go to college together because he only lives like a few counties away from me. Also, I heard that living expenses are far cheaper in Tennesee, and money's extremely tight right now... But I don't want to leave the few loved ones I have here behind. And money says no unless God says yes.
I just feel so lonely all the time. I'm tired of sitting here wasting life doing nothing but school and solitaire. I'm tired of being so depressed all the time.
I think I might be gaining weight.
That makes me so sad... I was told that I was fat as a kid..... I tried to lose weight... and I did.... then I hit my growth spurt.... so I was possibly even skinnier than I would have normally been..... I don't want to gain weight again...
School is so hard for me lately...... I can't focus enough........ I have so many tests I'm gonna have to take this week.... and I just can't focus enough so I'm behind in most of my classes..... I'm thinking of asking to go on an extended pace, but I can't do so without the approval of the school's guidance counselor.... I might be able to get him to put me on it but I don't want to talk with him about it.
I don't know what's wrong with me psychologically, but I know something's wrong.... I'm always down and I always feel like I'm just not good enough. I feel like such an idiot and a loser and I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I know everybody feels that way sometimes...... but according to my psychology class, psychologists believe that this might be clinical if it continues without improvement for two weeks..... and I've felt this way for three or four years.
Well........ If you're still reading..... thanks for your time.
John/Sno
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
