Ten things I need to change.

[roadoffew]

Warning. These prayers are honest and will be hard to take for some. Don't say I didn't warn you.



1.My Habits.

Lord, I realized that my habits are not what they should be. I'm messy and I'm lazy. It shows in my house as well as other areas in my life. I pray that you will give me the energy to move and to exceed. Give me the will to clean up the messy areas of my life as well as my house.

2.My attitude.

Lord, I have had a mindset that is bringing me despair more than peace. It is one that is hard to let go off and so easy to be tricked back into grasping as reality. The mindset that failure is waiting for me no matter what; That every time I try to move forward or to get things done, things will go wrong. Please take away that mindset and let me know I can trust in you.

3.The way I look at porn and hentai.

Lord, I don't look at porn and hentai the way I should. I look at them as another way to pass on then time. I see them as another way to vent my anger. I see them as something that isn't too bad to look at as long as no one knows. Lord, take away this sinful ideal. Help me see how saddening it is to you seeing me make porn and hentai a god. Help me grown a disgust or even a hate towards it. Take it away this , Oh Great Counselor.

4.My study habits

Lord, this recent sickness has lead to a bad habit in studying. I put my education aside because it was stressful and hard if not also boring. Lord, give me the willpower to keep ups my readings and studies to keep good grades and to make my parents proud of me. To not waste THEIR money on another semester.

5.My social life

Lord, I have a selfish and distant view of my friends. I have anger for the lack of interest my friends have in me yet I make no effort to find interest in them. I don't share with them my struggles like I should. Lord, help me share and reach out to my friends and anyone else at the BCM. Help me not worry about how
they might receive me.

6.My prayer life.

Lord, I don't talk to you enough. I rely on my own understanding. When things are tough I keep it inside and never include you. Lord, be my prince of peace. Hold me close when I am scared, calm me when I an angry,and teach me right from wrong and how to live for what is right. Teach me your wisdom and love.

7.My bible time

Lord, I don't read your word enough. I go about my day thinking I can do enough to make up for it. I think that that I don't need to be refreshed on what I have been taught from you. Lord, refresh me in your word. Give me the hunger that only your word can feed. Show me the countless lessons you have in store for me.

8.My motivation

Lord, you haven't always been my motivation. I've done things of religion to boost my self-outlook. I've defended your word just to tickle the ears of the fallen. Lord, be my motivation. Be the reason in all I do. Be the driving force in my music, videos, and general way of living.

9.My hearts desire

Lord, I've put you second in the desire of my hearts. I have lusted after things to feel me up. My dream has been to have a girlfriend and have questioned why I haven't had one. I've desired for her touch, for her to hold me, to make me feel good about myself. Lord, Help me forget about her,who ever she will be, for now. My real desire should not be her heart but yours. When I truly am after your own heart, Then I will be ready for the girl after your heart as well.

10. Myself

*Lord, I am bloody and broken. I am a disgrace to what I promised to be. I deserve no love from my parents, my friends, and you. I am sinner curling up in this dark world. I am the lowest of low though the world may not see or understand it to be so. Lord, break me apart. Rip off this lustful flesh, tear out this selfish heart, snap theses hurtful hands,bleed out this evil blood of my old body. stretch me out on the table and change me out bit by bit. Make me a new creation,One that you can be proud of. My soul is yours, now create for me a body that is yours as well. Make me whole again.

(editors note* I don't know why sometimes I tend to go into a poetic speech and why it can get violent sometimes. I don't take immediate joy in violence for violence sake. I guess the violence takes things into a serious place and grabs my attention as well as who ever is reading or listening).

[Sheenar]

Thank you for posting these prayers. I was surprised to see so much of what I am dealing with in your prayers. It really got my attention and now I have some things to take care of.
Again, thank you brother. I pray that God continues to break you and that He sends a great revival into you and then spreads it to others.

[Kunoichi]

Hey bro,

thanks for your honesty. It gives me strength to look at my own life and start to see it in a honest light versus one that just makes me look good.

I agree with you in your prayers and give God praise for your strength to lay them bare.

God bless

[roadoffew]

Update:

Need prayers.

I've stopped going to certain social events and gone back to porn being a normal daily routine. No prayer life or bible time ever.

[K. Ayato]

*Hugs*

[roadoffew]

*update*
Odd I'm posting this update in this thread as well.
sorry for being a broken record and repeatedly tell how much I've "backslidin". I'm just going to keep it short.

My attitude toward porn has become "I'm addicted, so what?"
My friendhips are none existent and I think "so what?"
I have no prayer life or bible reading time and I think "so what?"
I know this is wrong but I can't help but think "so what?"
in short, no motivation to have motivation. That is my story.

[12praiseGOD]

Praying for ya! I pray everything gets better!
God bless you! ^_^