putting God first

[animechica]

my boyfriend and i are both Christians and try to do the right thing, we try to live what we believe... but i always heard it said that you've gotta put God first above anything, above any person.

and he says things like "you're my everything" or "you're the most important thing in my life" and when i asked, "If you were to choose between me or God, who would you choose?"

he couldn't choose.

I said, "Don't make me the most important thing."
and he said, "I know... but you are."

I love him very, very much. And he really loves me... does he love me too much? I don't want to be an idol. I don't want him to do the right thing because it makes me happy, I want him to first and foremost do that thing to make God happy...

I'm going out of my mind.
What can I say to him?

What do you do when you find yourself in this position?

I feel guilty and afraid for him... I don't want to be his "everything"... ._.

[ADXC]

Well you've got to remind him to remember that God is eternal and expects you to put Him first. We should all love one another and when we find that special someone we must remember to put God first in all that we do. Sure it's great to love someone a whole lot, you just have to keep who you love in order. Like you know how you love your earthly parents, well God is your heavenly parent who is much higher than them. You should love and honor your earthly parents, but you must love and honor God more. Remember the story of Abraham and Isaac? Abraham almost sacrificed Isaac because God told Abraham to do so. God was just testing him to see if he would obey. But at the last minute God told Abraham to stop(Abraham loved his son alot but loved God more. If Abraham had disobeyed, God would have probably punished him in some way. This story was vice versa, but you get the point.).

If one were to forget who he loves the most(Which should be God.), his life could go down a terribly wrong path. Like now you say your boyfriend loves you the most out of anyone. That's great and all, but if he treats you like as you say, an idol, then he may forget God. Im not saying he will, because as you say you are both good christians. But it can happen to anyone. So like instead of going to church, he may decide to stay at home with you because you guys may not feel like going out that day. Or he may forget to read his Bible and do something with you instead. See how this is? Slowly over a period of time you guys might be so far off from God that it will be hard to get back. Sure you can get back, but it will be difficult.

God gave us people to be companions to and treasure them, but we must not forget Who gave them to us. Always put God first no matter what. And when you do this, He will bless you, your family and your boyfriend .

[animechica]

thanks for reminding me about Abraham's faith. I was so upset I couldn't think of anything to say other than "it's wrong" and couldn't give examples... *sigh*

yeah, about that, he doesn't really read the Bible... he says it's too hard to focus when what he's reading seems to be random bits and pieces, not a continuous story like most books are, and that he learns better by being taught (church sermons, etc.) and he only has an old King James version, which at least for me is hard to understand and even harder to pay attention to. he does pray though.

[ADXC]

First get a version that he understands better. For me I use NIV, but you can use other versions. Second there are christian books that you can read that give insight to topics about life that may have scripture for them.

I do have a chart that describes in one word each book of the Bible. I can post it here if you like.

[Shilohan ninja]

Has he tried using one of those prescheduled devotional books as a supplement to his Bible reading? I find that kind of thing helpfull in understanding the word in that it explains what the passages are saying in plain every-day language. Maybe he also needs to look into one of those teen study bibles or one of those bible-zines, I've heard those are helpfull and I own one of the former editions, so I can personally testify to the ease of its use. In the meantime, keep praying for him to see the truth of his mistake, that he'll return to his first love (a.k.a. Christ) and put God first. Sometimes, us guys just need a little nudge in the right direction, especially when it comes to love. Godbless, sister. Enya!
-SN-

[Kunoichi]

Sis,

my husband and I had the same problem in some ways. He is a new christian and has a hard time reading the Bible and is actually scared to go to church (had some bad experiences). But at the same time, you also have to trust that God will help them grow and our prodding doesn't hurt either lol (sometimes men are stubborn) altho you will know how much to say (i pray for wisdom at times like those and God always helps ^_^)

I think your boyfriend may love God but the love he has for God is very different then his love for you. I know that I love my husband more then anything but for me I can honestly say that I would choose God always (for instance if he wasn't a Christian or if he made me choose between him and God).

At the same time, ask your boyfriend to clarify him and above all, be honest. I wouldn't go out right away and say "it's wrong" for him to have those feelings but he may not know how to say it to you. So if you just explain to him how important his relationship with God is to you and how you love him also but that you have concerns. Be gentle as much as possible

Also, try to do your Bible reading together. (At least this has helped my hubby - he very shy and afraid he doesn't understand things - thinks it makes him stupid). Read one chapter or verse a night or every other night and then discuss it for a little bit, however long you feel is necessary for you both to understand. Ask eachother questions to help make sure the other person understands.

For the praying part, my husband and I try to pray every night (altho we do slip up) and if you can go to church that is good too. If you say, oh well i want to stay home today then maybe you can both agree to do a bible study together and/or listen to a sermon online (that's what hubby and I are doing. I'm disabled so going to church for me is now hard).

Hope these suggestions help. *smile

God bless sis

Kelly

[animechica]

thanks for the encouragement and help, everyone. ^.^
I gotta remember to keep praying about this...

I really want to get him a nice Bible for Christmas this year, or I guess for earlier if I can get it earlier. XD

I'm not sure what version to get though... I kinda thought it would be nice to get a study Bible, or one that will have elaboration or kinda devotions type stuff in it so that he doesn't get too bored with just straight text... it can be really hard to pay attention for me and I'm a bit more disciplined in that regard (although, recently, my reading hasn't been too much.. I want a study Bible too, lol)

...I just don't know what kind to get him, any ideas?

[Prince Asbel]

I recommend The Apologetics Study Bible. I have one, and the translation is the Holman Christian Standard Bible (Which is known as a good translation). I think it's AWESOME. I've been reading it for almost a year and a half, and it has commentary, articles on a wide range of different controversial subjects, and verses that point out and resolve "contradictions" in scripture. It talks a lot about defending the faith from all sorts of other religions.

It's also a sort of new Bible. It only came out like three years ago. The articles inside are written by many well-known Christian apologists, like William Lane Craig, Ravi Zacharias, and Lee Strobel. I strongly recommend it, as just flipping through it, you can find something interesting to read about Christianity.