Advice and Prayer

[ninjaduckofdoom]

I'm not new here but I'm more of a lurker, so I'm sure most of you won't recognize me. The reason I'm writing here is that I feel like I'm out of options as far as advice goes so, I thought I'd give this a try.

I'm a college freshmen this year and I feel like I'm completely floundering. I'm currently going to a local community college in my area but I'm mostly unmotivated... Not that I completely slack off on my work and don't do it... It's just more difficult to get it done when I don't want to and I procrastinate like none other. I'm also really quite miserable where I am right now. I feel like I have no friends and I'm mostly isolated (except for my parents), I have no social life and I really crave it very badly. I'm having a difficult time still living in my parents' house. I want to move out so badly but I don't want them to think it's because I don't like them or to hurt there feelings in any way. I do love them dearly but I feel like it's time for me to try something new. I just worry that our relationship will be weakened if I leave.

Another issue that I have right now comes from being uncertain what I want to do as far as college. I want to pursue a degree in Graphic Design and I'm going to stick with that-- I just don't know what college I really want to go to or if it really matters that much. I had had a college all picked out but when I went up there for a visit with my parents I wasn't incredibly impressed... I was hoping that going there and seeing it would renew my excitement about college and give me something to look forward to... but it didn't. Should I just stick with that? Does the area in which a college is located matter that much? I'm hoping to transfer in the upcoming school year (sophomore year) because I want to get out of here so badly... But I haven't told my parents that and they still think I plan on transferring my Junior year. Once again, I don't want to hurt them... But I truly want to do something new and different and meet new people so I can make some new connections. Right now my life is just so... Blah, and it's driving me crazy... I need something new to happen so I actually have something to look forward to. I know that some of my lack of enthusiasm for the future is due to depression (which I have struggled with and struggle with still) but I know that's not the main cause. I'm just kind of stuck in a rut right now and I don't know what to do to improve it.

So, I'm basically asking for advice on what to do and wondering if I even have the right perspective on things. I just need to straighten some things out so I don't go crazy! I really appreciate prayers and any and all advice you can give!

[ClosetOtaku]

First, recognize that, if your parents have been mature in their attitudes, they have been preparing you all this time to be able to go out, make decisions, and handle the consequences. They may not always agree with you, but I know most mature parents would be very proud if you approached them and said, "I've looked at my options, here are the facts, and I've decided to do thus-and-so (go to a different college, move out, etc.)."

On the other hand, if they are not mature and/or are very controlling, you have a decision: disappoint them and make decisions for yourself (it is your life, after all), or continue in your current state and be miserable.

There is a third possibility that I haven't mentioned, and only you can make this assessment: your parents have ascertained (perhaps correctly) that you are not ready to leave home. I can't tell that from this post, and if there is even a remote chance this is true, perhaps you should have a talk with them before making decisions. Again, I don't know. Just trying to cover all the bases.

I'm sure there are circumstances that make it more complex than that, but that's kind of the starting point.

As for whether to go to this or that particular college, ask yourself: is this college going to prepare me for entry into my chosen profession? Will it broaden me so that, if I choose to change my profession (likely, over a course of a lifetime), I will be more equipped to do so? Will it give me the contacts (student, faculty) that will help me now, and be good people to keep in touch with in the future? Does it provide a reasonably safe physical and social setting? I wouldn't worry too much about "adventure" or "excitement" (a la Luke Skywalker). Those will come with the change of scenery no matter where you go. You are looking for a place that, for the good money you pay, will prepare you for the future and make an impact when you hand out your resume and your portfolio.

I think you are eager to get out and experience life as a young adult, and that's the proper mindset for a college-age person. There's nothing unbiblical there, so long as you treat your parents with respect and behave maturely.

I wish you well, and will pray for your circumstances.

[12praiseGOD]

Definetly praying for guidance!

God bless you!

[ninjaduckofdoom]

Closet Otaku: Thank you so much for the advice, it gave me a few things to think about... It's always helpful to think about things from a different point of view.

12praiseGOD: Thanks for the prayer, I really appreciate it!