Facing problems

[Bap]

This morning I kinda went through some more of my thought troubles, and because of me trying to fix it and figure it out, I got about like... four hours of sleep, haha. And right now, I'm too afraid to sleep, because... well, I don't really know, actually. I think I'm afraid I'll just keep dwelling on it instead of just sleeping.

I usually sort these out on my own, but sometimes, I need someone else to talk to. But... I really hate talking about it, just because I guess it makes it 'real,' if anyone can understand what I mean. So... that's problem number one, I just don't like talking about it.

I guess problem number two is that there's only one person I feel comfortable talking about this with. I've talked to them when I've gotten in thought-holes before, and so they understand already, so that leaves the painful process of rexplaining everything out. But... I'm not particularly close with this person, and I only really talk with them when I get into these jams. And... that just makes me feel bad.

I guess problem number three is I'm kinda cracking under all this. A part of me wants to just give up, but then I know that'll get me nowhere. I'm just trying to push ahead, y'know? That's the only way you'll get anywhere, imo. XD

But all of this still hurts, and there's the whole feeling like the world is collapsing around me feeling. And I just want to sort of curl up in my corner and wait for all of it to end. It's like... I want to do nothing, but at the same time, I know I have to do something, and I want to do something.

I guess... TL;DR, please pray for God to give me strength, and courage to face this problem, and talk it out with this person. And if there's anything else you want to throw in, please do. (: I actually also kinda want some scripture to read so if anyone has a plan offhand that they think can help me, that'll be great. o: But if not, please don't go out of your way to look for something. XD;

But um... yeah. Please, I'm really scared, among other things.

[Aedin]

Of course I'll pray for you.

[Danderson]

U have my prayers too...He'll give u the strength ur looking for...

[12praiseGOD]

Praying!

[Bap]

sorry for the belated thanks... but thanks all. <3

Um... I still haven't told my friend... I guess 'cause I don't really like to talk about it, but I'm going to try. @___<;

Um... another thing... do you guys think it's okay if I type out my prayer in a notepad to God? D: 'cause it's hard for me to close my eyes and think / say my prayers... so would a notepad prayer to God be acceptable? @__@a

Um... yeah. XD;

[Aedin]

He knows everything right? And he knows what's in your heart? If you're typing stuff out, it's still coming from your heart.

[freerock1]

Um... another thing... do you guys think it's okay if I type out my prayer in a notepad to God? D: 'cause it's hard for me to close my eyes and think / say my prayers... so would a notepad prayer to God be acceptable? @__@a

Absolutely. The Bible says God hears the prayers we ask in faith, according to His will and in His name, but it doesn't specify that the prayers have to be verbally said. Some people find it easier to write their prayers. I don't do it all that often, but for me sometimes it's easier because of the distractions that often enter my mind when I'm trying to pray verbally. And like Aedin said, it's still coming from your heart.

Hopefully this helps. Lifting you up in prayer.

[SailorDove]

Hey Bap,

I found over the years here at CAA that it was faster, simpler and more direct to type short prayers in reply to prayer requests. At first it felt weird, but I started to like that it was done, the prayer was made already and didn't have to worry about forgetting to pray for that person &/or situation. And I could go back and edit something if needed & it was okay with God.

Sounds like we may be dealing with similar feelings of lack of hope, motivation and will to do what we ought. Perhaps our reasons may be different, but its still... sighs.... its overwhelming and my inactivity is frustrating.

Anyhoo, I've babbled enough. I agree in prayer with everyone for you. Dear Jesus, please make us more like you and replace our vices with your virtues. And let your strength shine through our weakness.
In your name we pray,
Amen

[Bap]

Thanks guys. <3 I really appreciate it. I think this'll help me get my prayers out more often now! @_@!

[Doubleshadow]

Goin' to pray for you.

If I can offer advice from experience; not talking about something gives it power of you. When it's a secret you have to guard, you end up protecting this thing. If you force it out were everyone can see it, which is secondary since God sees it anyway, it loses power.

[Bap]

Ohh... That makes a lot of sense... And I think it's true. @o@! (As in, from past experiences when I've talked about them. XD;) Thanks. :D

[12praiseGOD]

Still praying!

[Bap]

<3 thanks.

...um. I'm... having more insecurities about this. @__<; the thing is... is this is a problem that will keep plaguing me, I know it. It's been with me for two years, and I'm reminded of it everyday.

And I feel like a jerk, just talking about this with this person. I don't want to take advantage of them. I don't want to like.. keep asking for help when we barely talk in the first place, and when we do talk, we only talk about my problem.

I want to find someone who I know, and feel comfortable with to talk to, y'know? I don't want to dump my problems on someone I barely know. Because... this is a problem that'll keep coming, and I can't just jump around to different people each time. It has to be a consistent person, who's dealed with it before, y'know?

But then... something like that takes time, and I need someone now, and this is the only person available to me.

But... I have no idea what to do.

I guess I need some guidance now... @__<;;;

Though, thanks again for the prayers all. <3

[SailorDove]

Dear Bap,

If you need another pair of ears to listen, feel free to pm me. (I'm usually on YIM.) That's what sisters are for.

[Bap]

Thanks. I'll keep that in mind. <3