I'm crying as I type...

[mysngoeshere56]

Thanks for the prayers everybody. The mental health center thing went much better than expected. They were very nice and gave me lots of suggestions (like numbers to call and said they'd be there for me if I need them)... We're probably going to be talking with them some more in the near future.

[Prince Asbel]

Whatever happens, at least you're getting help.

[Steakface]

I'm glad things are working out for you...

[mysngoeshere56]

Well hey there everybody.... It's John again....

Sorry for reviving this...... It's a bit old, I just figured it'd be better than starting another thread...... You can do lock/delete the post/start a new thread or something if you want. I just figured I'd post how I feel at the moment.

Basically, I've come to just feel so down lots of times. I feel like I cause so much burden and that the world would just be a happier place without me. I don't feel very necessary at all and I just don't feel like there's a perfectly good light up ahead. I just feel misery everywhere.

Most of the things I heard growing up were that I was fat, ugly, a horrid person, stupid, a loser, weak, and other things too. Almost all of this came from people that claimed Christianity, and a great percentage came from people like teachers. My mom loved me a lot, but most people told me that other stuff, and when the majority of people give you more insults then compliments, it slowly drags you down. When I was five years old I didn't even see the point of me trying to act like a Christian was, because I honestly thought I'd never be good enough to get to heaven.

I'm SO tempted to just hurt myself.... I have it planned out in my head, and I want to do it so badly... But I had to promise I wouldn't. The mental health center wouldn't let me leave without signing a contract saying I wouldn't hurt myself.... but I WANT to SOOOO badly! T_T

Well... I'm sorry that I wasted time in your life with you reading this. I blame myself for lots of things, even if they aren't my fault, because I've been somewhat trained to believe that everything is my fault. I'm sorry for wasting precious moments of your life with my misery and for reviving a thread that hasn't been posted in in over a month. I almost wish that people would just forget that I exist, because hopefully I won't soon anyway.

[Steakface]

Don't let the devil convince you that you are a burden. Pray...

[Aedin]

Dude, you sound so similar to me, in so many ways. I'm sure lots of people on this site can tell you we sound similar. Don't think you're a burden, and don't apologize for talking about stuff or taking up people's time. People choose to read what you write, and the only people who matter will eventually start to demand you stop apologizing for talking about things lol. The people who matter will want you to talk about things and how you feel. Do you use AIM at all? I'm on it, and I'm almost always around if you want to talk to someone. Feel free to PM me for my AIM name.

[mysngoeshere56]

Thanks so much everybody.

Well, on a positive note, today I'm feeling okay. Not super super amazing, but not really sad like I usually do.

[Saint Kevin]

Great to hear bro, I'm glad. I just wanted to say that I'm praying for you, and that I know that God wants to do something really great with you. I think that if you keep talking out your feelings, reading the Word, and worshipping/praising/thanking God, that it will only be a matter of time before these dark thoughts and feelings are replaced by the joy and peace of God.

[Gala]

A dear friend of mine is also dealing with these same feelings. You are defininetly in my prayers. *hugs*