Great

[Aedin]

I just found out today another one of my friend's betrayed me. I don't know who it was, because noone will tell me, but I guess it turns out I can't trust anyone I met at church either.

Some people who have talked to me wonder why I'm negative all the time, and tell me that will just push people away. Well this is what happens when I'm finally starting to be positive about things and trust people. Someone betrays me, and I can't find out who, so I have to stop trusting everyone.

[chibiphonebooth]

do you know how they betrayed you?

[Aedin]

They told my mom personal stuff I didn't want her to know.

[meboeck]

Maybe you need to try changing your perceptions of trust and betrayal. Maybe you're being too harsh by automatically refusing to trust after one incident. Or maybe the other person did what they did with your best interest in mind. Just because it's not what you wanted doesn't mean it's not what's best for you. If you consider every little thing betrayal and see it as a reason to completely lose trust in people, it sounds like you're still not being very positive and trusting. Friendship and trust is a give and take thing. You need to be able to accept that not everything is going to go your way. Friends will hurt you, and you will hurt your friends whether you mean to or not, but trust is about believing the good will outweigh the bad.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Yeah. You may feel that they betrayed you, but odds are they felt they were being a good friend and/or doing the right thing.

[Aedin]

I want to be able to be myself, and be open and honest. It's who I am, in my nature, and my mom is always trying to kill that part of me. For years she's been trying to drive it into my head that I can't talk to people about things I need to. A friend who read this thread made a comment about my parents being my best friend, so I feel I should let everyone know my parents are not my best friend, they and my family are the cause of most of my issues. My father left us for another woman (the wedding I went to last week) and throughout my whole life whenever I've tried to talk to my mom about issues (whether or not they had to do with her) she wouldn't listen to my thoughts or feelings and always immediately blame it on me, try to make me feel like what I had a problem with was my fault, and just in general make me feel like every single thing wrong in my life is my fault, completely disregarding any other possible causes or reasons. Like I said, my nature is to be open and honest and share things. For years my mom's tried to get rid of that part of me. So now whenever I talk to people it feels like I'm going insane because I don't know whether to be honest or hide things. I don't even know what else to say. Telling my mom things is never the best for me, all it will do is make my situation worse. Also my mom is literally the most self-centered hypocritical person I've ever met.

[Danderson]

I want to be able to be myself, and be open and honest. It's who I am, in my nature, and my mom is always trying to kill that part of me. For years she's been trying to drive it into my head that I can't talk to people about things I need to.

While I agree that it is good to be open with others, it is wise to be discerning about what topics are shared amongst certain friends....For example, if u tell someone that likes to gossip freely about feelings u might have towards someone else or perhaps maybe a family secret....well, u can guess what's going to happen....

Again, there's nothing wrong with being open and honest and not everyones out to get you or "betray" u. But at the same time it pays to be careful....

U have my prayers on this....If u need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.....

[Sheenar]

I don't have much to say other than to say that I know what it's like to have a mom like that.
But, and this is something I've learned over a period of years, you can choose how you respond to circumstances. If you respond with a pity party, with bitterness/resentment, or with distancing yourself from others, you will only perpetuate the cycle.
But if you choose to respond with trust that God will use your situation for good and if you choose to continue to love people and to see the positives in your life, then you will have a better outlook on life. Seriously, count your blessings.
Choose how you respond to things --you can respond positively or negatively. The choice is yours.

[K. Ayato]

Sheenar's right. As long as you keep expecting people to let you down when you try to share something with them, nothing will improve your situation. Instead, try to look at it as "Ok, I'm going to try to get to know this person, establish a trusting relationship, and when I feel I can share something deep and personal, I'll do it." True, there are going to be risks involved, the big one being rejection. However, if you REALLY trust this person, you'll be willing to share what's on your heart and face the possibility of them turning away. I know it's not easy for you, but you have to look at it in a more positive way. Again, if you've convinced yourself that no one is going to stick around when you need them, then it seems you've already thrown in the towel and given up on trying, and I'm sorry, but your situation is not gonna go anywhere with that way of thinking.

I'll be praying for you, ok? If you need some help, feel free to PM me or the others .