Me again

[Aedin]

I don't really know if this is a bother or an annoyance. I don't even really know what it is I'm trying to say. It's so hard to make friends around my area, let alone in general. I seem to be one of the few who isn't into drinking and drugs and parties, and I seem to get left behind by most of my friends. If I don't try, and don't put in an effort, I never get to do things with people, with my friends. If I do try, and do put in an effort, things always go wrong, and people tell me not try so hard. Which of course always gets me confused because either way I go about things, nothing happens. I feel like I'm meant to be alone and friendless, and I don't know what's so wrong about me for that to happen. I try to be a good guy, I try to be a good friend. I talk to people online, and most of them say I'm a good guy, some of them have even said I'm a great guy, and some of them haven't abandoned me lol. So I don't get what's so wrong with me that I can't have friends. I feel like I'm meant to be alone and friendless, and I don't know what I could've done so wrong to deserve this. I just feel so hopeless, like there's no point in trying to make friends or meet people. And I've had so many bad experiences in the past with friendships falling apart or being abandoned by my friends, it's like I physically can't comprehend the possibility of people not leaving me. It feels like every single thing I do is gonna push everyone who knows me away, and make them abandon me and leave me, and the worst part is all I do to cause it to happen is try to be honest and be myself. I feel like I'm unacceptable and noone's ever gonna be able to deal with me.

[fairyprincess90]

I used to feel the same way. I used to be so upset and cry every night, feeling so alone.
I prayed and begged God to give me just one friend who would stick by me. Finally one day he did and even now I sortof lost them. Yet he did give me another friend which is my boyfriend...but he's my only friend. I have maybe one or two other people I very rarely hang out with or talk to. It can be very lonely at times.
So I understand. But you're not doing anything wrong so you know. If your not doing drugs or partying, GOOD FOR YOU. You're doing the right thing. And sometimes we won't make friends by doing the right thing..but stay strong, God will reward you in the end. Always remember as well, that no matter how many friends come and go God will always stay right beside you. Make him your best friend. He's the best kind.
Most likely someone real special will come along and they'll be a great blessing from God that will have been worth the wait. But, no matter happens, pray and ask for God's will. Maybe he's putting you through this lonely time in order for you to grow closer to him.

I'm praying for you that you will grow closer to God and that he will bless you with a good friend or group of friends.

Remember it's not you. You're not doing anything wrong. You're doing what's right.

I'm praying for you.
God bless.

[Aedin]

I know I'm just being a stupid downer, but I just can't help but think, if I'm not doing something wrong, then why is everyone else so happy? Why does everyone else have so many friends they do things with?

Which of course me being a stupid downer just means I'm screwing up again and ruining things again. Awesome. Everything I do just leads to me being an idiot.

[MangArtist]

No, you're NOT stupid. I know almost exactly how you feel. I only have one friend in the area and he's usually working. My brothers and sisters are usually invited to stuff while I'm left behind.
I'll be praying for you!

[Doubleshadow]

You should try branching out and meeting new people. The pattern you are in won't likely lead to new friends, as I discovered when most of my coworkers like to drink and hanging out with them lead to feeling alone in a crowded room. Many of my friends I met by random circumstances and being gutsy enough to talk to a new person or them being gutsy enough to talk to me. Once I found friends similar to me, I met friends of theirs who were also similar to me. You need to be willing to get out of your comfort zone and talk to people. Consider: The other people like you are in the same situation: feeling isolated and thus keeping to themselves. One of you will have to make a move to find the others.
I'm not a social butterfly, and I'm an introvert, so I don't feel the compulsion to meet everybody in the room, but I find that even simple conversations can help you root out common ground. Oddly enough, some of my friends I meet because I was wearing an anime purse at church events.

[Aedin]

Yeah, that's one thing maybe I forgot to mention. Most of the situations I've been in with people, the ones I reach out to either end up being not very nice people, or I'm the only one that makes an effort to reach out and do things or be friends, and then I get nothing in return. They don't ask me to do anything, they barely talk to me.

[Esoteric]

Not everyone is as happy as they claim or appear. I would guess few actually are. In my own case, I always tell people I'm fine even when I'm not, because I either don't want to explain, or sound depressing/whiny.

You're certainly not alone. Growing up I was only ever been able to maintain one friendship at a time, and even then frequently felt abandoned when that friend was too busy. I think a lot of people feel stupid or inadequate too. I always say such dumb stuff... and even thought I shouldn't, I still kick myself over mistakes I made years ago. It's those times when I really need to remind myself that God loves and forgives me. He's always there, and He's a great listener.

Have you made any friends here you can drop a PM to when you want to talk?

I'll pray for you. I can't tell you God will suddenly give you a friend, but if you trust Him, He will give you what you need in His timing. Hang in there.