I'm currently undergoing a battery of psychological and aptitude testing for the DARS agency (so they know how best to help me in my job search).
Having to discuss my background in the interview part (and also some of the questions that I had to bubble in a response to) brought back some pretty bad memories of my past. It's like I just can't get away from it --I keep trying to put my past with my mom behind me and it keeps coming back up. I hate being reminded of all the crap I have gone through --I just want to forget sometimes (though I know God can --and He has--use my past to help someone else).
It's just hard to be reminded of it --a lot of it is still very hurtful to me, so it's like opening an old wound.
It all just reminded me that I have no parents around, no home to go to --I graduate from college in 10 months and I'll have to leave my friends and church family here--who have all helped me so much --and I'll have to start over somewhere else. I'll be on my own and have to find a support system again.
Also, it is wedding season. And I'm starting to really long for a husband and a family. I just a family so badly --it's something I've never really had. Pray that I will be content with God's timing. (Though leaving college with an Mrs. degree would be an added benefit. )
Pray that I will stop worrying about the future and about things I have no control over. Pray that I will give all that to God and trust that He has a plan and will continue to take care of me. Also pray that my focus and priorities are where they should be --on the Lord.
Thank you.