Need help spitually with my walk with God

[roadoffew]

To keep it short. I'm a Christian who's on his third year at college and have fallen spiritually. What I mean is that I've basically stopped praying or reading my bible. I have a horrible porn and um....masturbation addiction.

But this thread isn't for help on dealing with my porn addiction rather my lack of spiritual life with God. I want to pray but rarely do. I say a quick sorry for doing something wrong but don't truly repent. I want to read my bible but when I look at it on the self I think "but what do I read? I never get much out of the topic index in the back. Where do I start?". Maybe in a way I just feel that I'm not worthy to bother God? Maybe I'm so scared of things going wrong like they have been that I'm afraid of moving forward? I really don't know.


Please help.

[fairyprincess90]

Get some good christian literature. I have most of the same problems as you (only as a girl tho).

This book should help with porn and masturbation and a few other things: Every Young man's Battle




And here's a devotionals:

It's not about me by Max Lucado


also check out some on your own. you can google christian book stores and order some books that sound interesting to you or if your church has a library check some of their stuff out =]

always remember that God wants you to grow close to Him and He doesn't care how many times you've fallen or messed up.



I'm praying for you!

[Sheenar]

This book should help with porn and masturbation and a few other things: Every Young Womans' Battle by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn

He should probably read Every Young Man's Battle instead. Also, a lot of my guy friends have said really good things about the book Wild at Heart (forgot who wrote it, but it should be easy to find).

[SailorDove]

Dear Roadoffew,

You are quite perceptive. You understand that usually when we lack intimacy in our relationship with God &/or other people, our broken nature tends to chase lust as a false substitute. Lust and lack of devotion are just really symptoms of our lack of trust in God and our closeness to Him.

Opening up our hearts up to others, let alone God ain't easy. I know. But out of everyone on earth, God is the most trustworthy. We don't have to worry about saying the "right words" in the right way. As long as we just talk with him from our heart honestly. Its okay when we don't say what we mean right. He understands & he cares for us perfectly.

Knowing all this is a lot easier than the doing part. And to be quite honest, I'm still working on the latter, as well.

Hope that helps a little.

Best Wishes,
Dove

[fairyprincess90]

crap well for some odd reason i thought the OP was a girl...who knows why. sorry guys i've had very little sleep lately.

i'm going to edit my post with better book suggestions hahaha

[Prince Asbel]

Fairyprincess90 is right. I think you feel discouraged spiritually because you're into porn and masturbation. You need to 1. Get an accountability partner who can talk to you about this. I know it's hard and will seem horrible to admit, but just about everyone has some kind of problem like this. It shouldn't be a shock to whomever you tell. And I promise you, you won't be able to break this addiction without one. 2. Have them install something like K9 Web Security on your computer so that they can monitor each page you visit and even put blocks on porn sites. 3. Read the book they suggested. I also recommend a book by the same company callled "Every Young Man, God's Man" by Kenny Luck. And read through it thoroughly. It worked like magic for me, but unfortunately, I had to be caught in the act to discover this book. Don't let your recovery start out that way.

[roadoffew]

Okay I hope I don't come off rude or anything.

I appreciate the advice on the porn issue and I'm gotten or tried a few of those ideas. But I don't think Its "I have a lack of walk with God because I'm into porn" but rather "I'm not putting up any resistance to porn because of my lack of a better spritual walk with God."

[SailorDove]

my apologies. I stand corrected. I wasn't trying to sound like a know it all, but when I re read it. It does come off that way. I'm sorry.

[Prince Asbel]

Oh. Well, in that case, have you ever gotten into apologetics before?

[roadoffew]

Oh. Well, in that case, have you ever gotten into apologetics before?

I have. In fact I own an apologetics bible.

[Kunoichi]

now while i do not have as big of an issue as porn, I will say that i know the sin of lust.

Okay I hope I don't come off rude or anything.

I appreciate the advice on the porn issue and I'm gotten or tried a few of those ideas. But I don't think Its "I have a lack of walk with God because I'm into porn" but rather "I'm not putting up any resistance to porn because of my lack of a better spritual walk with God."

I think that you are correct that when you have a weaker walk with God then you are less able to resist the temptation of the various sins that afflict us. Love God and the rest will come into place *hugs good luck brother ^_^

[12praiseGOD]

Well a good Bible that I enjoy reading, which has an excellent index...that is in my opinion is the Fellowship of Christian Athlete´s Bible. When in trouble, I usually read Psalms, Proverbs, or John. Praying for you!

[Prince Asbel]

I have. In fact I own an apologetics bible.

So do I! I was a Christian for a long time, but I really got on a roll for my faith when I got into apologetics. Of course, having daily devotions and forsaking my sin came first and foremost for me. If you have those two covered (at least for the time being) I would strongly suggest listening to Christian podcasts (I recommend the Dividing Line and Unchained Radio), and listening to debates between Christians and Atheists. Go to atheismisdead.blogspot.com. That has an audio archive with lots of stuff like debates.

I hope this helps.

[roadoffew]

UPDATE:
The prayer life isn't back yet but the bible reading is ....somewhat there. Reading a few things in the apologetics bible.

the battle against porn just got easier.....at least I thought it did. I broke my keyboard on my pc computer and can't afford the expense of getting a new one for now so all I have is my laptop, which I had promised not to look up porn on it. Well I did tonight so i'm not out of the water yet.

[Sheenar]

Have you tried installing Internet filtering software like K9 Web Protection? You can use a friend's email address to register and have them tell you the product key # --and then make a password you won't be able to remember. That way, you won't be tempted to override the blocks on certain sites.

Don't give up, friend. God loves us no matter how many times we fall. We just have to keep picking ourselves back up, pray for God's strength, and fight again.

[Kamille]

I'm praying for you in Spirit and truth. Keep up the Bible reading. It will increase your faith.

"Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ." - Romans 10:17

Then, firm in your faith, you will believe in Jesus words and overcome lust (which I also had huge problems with in my past):

"I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." - Luke 10:19

[roadoffew]

UPDATE:

I'm visiting my parents (and sister) for a week before going back to Florence for school. Been here since Thursday and haven't look up porn or um "given myself some alone time". I don't normally do this well even at my parents house. So God is doing something here.

[SailorDove]

That's awesome & very encouraging! Gives you . just because you deserve it!

[roadoffew]

update:
by morning I will have been here over a week an no porn or sexy images look ups on the computer so I'm praising God for that.

Sadly I've stumbled two times in um...."the m word". So I'm not totally there plus my bible reading isn't that in depth, but at least I'm trying. just gotta try when I'm not tired.

Come to think of it both times I messed up with the m word I had this feeling in my chest that I couldn't shake. It's kinda like what I believe in Japan is referred to as "Doki Doki" (the sudden beating of the heart when one sees their crush). But I don't have a crush on anyone nor seen anyone that made my heart do that. So what was it?

Keep the prayers coming, friends!

[roadoffew]

update:

I'm back in Florence and it seems keeping this "no porn" devotion is going to get harder. I haven't looked up anything on purpose but two images came up while doing a search for something else. I changed pages of course but I sense it's going to be tough in keeping away.

This may be two much for some of you to hear but I started a method to help quit "the m word". I "M" three different times in the last week (I said two early ...forgot about one) so I decided to try to only do it two times this week (the try it less a week plan)and stick to that plan....i used that number up today. So this is heading into being one tough week. Good thing classes are starting so I won't have as much free time.

Bible study isn't getting better. I'm going to make a big prayer for this week right now.

Give me your thoughts if you have any.

P.S. just so your clear I'm still porn and hentai free.

[Kunoichi]

Hey bro,

I suffer too from the M word and I am even married! So do not be discouraged. Although God has helped me in lessening more than ever before! Just delve into his Word, trust in him and he will give you strength!

God bless

[roadoffew]

I'm falling behind. Looking up hentai again every now and then but it's getting too frequent.

Sunday I've got a lot of stuff to do (cleaning up, reading for a literature class, laundry;which requires me to leave the house for hours.) I need to add spending worship and prayer time with good with reading up on my "lust" verses.

Keep me in your prayers tomorrow. Thanks in advance.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Don't try to do it on your own strength, it won't work. I know. You need to try and give it to God fully. A lot easier said then done though, isn't it?
I lust too.
I'll be praying for you mate.

[roadoffew]

Update:
i'm actually reading up for my classes and on time which is unlike me.

However, and I don't fell like explaining but I'm at my lowest in every other place.

[Kunoichi]

bro still thinking about you...i love you and pray you are doing well. May he strengthen you and guide you! Kelly

[roadoffew]

Update:

Need prayers.

I've stopped going to certain social events and gone back to porn being a normal daily routine. No prayer life or bible time ever.

[12praiseGOD]

Definetly praying bro!

[roadoffew]

*update*
sorry for being a broken record and repeatedly tell how much I've "backslidin". I'm just going to keep it short.

My attitude toward porn has become "I'm addicted, so what?"
My friendhips are none existent and I think "so what?"
I have no prayer life or bible reading time and I think "so what?"
I know this is wrong but I can't help but think "so what?"
in short, no motivation to have motivation. That is my story.

[Spector]

Honestly, I'll give you what motivated me to bring my similar problems to a standstill. I hold the intimacy of a husband and wife very close...SO, what is my future spouce going to think when I go and tell her what I've done? What's done is done, but in the very least I can say made every effort to stop. Seriously, just thinking about confessing to my future wife, which I WILL do, makes me sick when I get tempted. For me, that made me do it 90% less. I did even less when I cut off additional access to internet, like the wii and psp.

[Roz]

SO, what is my future spouce going to think when I go and tell her what I've done? What's done is done, but in the very least I can say made every effort to stop. Seriously, just thinking about confessing to my future wife, which I WILL do, makes me sick when I get tempted.

I think that's a great idea.

I'm praying for you roadoffew. You can do this!!!