Loneliness

[Aedin]

Sorry, I have a lot of thoughts so it's kindof hard to put them all together. I guess the simplest way to put it is I'm new to the site, and I've seen some of the posts here so I feel ok talking about stuff. I just feel really depressed and lonely. I have barely any friends because I just don't connect well with people and I keep meeting bad people, which just makes me withdraw more which makes it harder to meet people. I'm hoping to make good Christian friends that I could do things with, but it's hard to meet people around here, and I joined a new church and I only know three people my age there, and it turns out one of them is going to a college a couple hours away and the other is going to go to school in Italy, and she has over seven hundred friends on facebook which makes it seem like she's one of those types that doesn't put much effort into real lasting friendships. The past few months it's just felt like I'll never make friends and never find a good Christian girl and it's just very discouraging because I can't talk to my family about things, I don't have friends to do things with or talk about things with, and it's just really hard to meet people. I guess if people are interested or care I could go into more detail later.

My past with people makes it hard to have hope, but I'm also hoping to maybe make some friends here too.

[Prince Asbel]

I hope and pray that you make more friends. More specifically, I hope you find a friend you can confide in, and- as you put it, I hope you find a good Christian girl.

[Aedin]

I just wish I could find people that cared about me. I'm just so tired of depression and anxiety. I could barely sleep last night cause of anxiety.

[Aedin]

I just wish I could find people that cared about me. I'm just so tired of depression and anxiety. I could barely sleep last night cause of anxiety.

Eighteen views. I don't mean to sound impatient or a jackass or anything, but if anyone has anything to say, please say it. I just need someone to talk to. There's noone around my area who cares that I can talk to.

[Danderson]

If u want friends who share ur beliefs, ask God that He would place those sort of people into ur life....coming here is a good start to finding fellow believers....

U have my prayers.....

[Tsukuyomi]

As you do mine ^^

Just remember, not everyone is the same, so you may or may not encounter the same hardships ^^ Start anew with your new friends and see where it takes you

[Aedin]

Thanks. It's encouraging to have more replies. I've been praying pretty often lately that I'd meet new people, new friends, good friends. I don't really care about if the people I meet have the same hardships or not, I just would prefer people to talk to, about pretty much anything, whether it's hardships or not.

[NekoChan_C]

Hi, Aedin... My name is Jessica, or Neko-chan... I know exactly what you mean, I find it very hard to be myself around people until I can be comfortable enough to open up to them... Being here on CAA can be a bit intimidating at first, because you never know how you will eb accepted or received, but I have found here that people genuinely care.
I'll be praying that God leads the right people into your life, so that you can have the godly companionship that you so desire... and even then, that you will have a score of friends to turn to when times get rough...
I'll do my best to be a friend like that to you. Please message me if you need someone to talk to. My door is always open.
Jess

[fairyprincess90]

i'm praying for you. i don't have much to say though i wish i could...but just know you're in my prayers.

[animewarrior]

Eighteen views. I don't mean to sound impatient or a jackass or anything, but if anyone has anything to say, please say it. I just need someone to talk to. There's noone around my area who cares that I can talk to.

Hi. I've been in the place you've described before.
Really not nice seeing ppl in that place so yeah if you ever need someone
to talk to then just PM me or go to my profile and add my MSN. I hope you find what you're looking for and well just remember:

The LORD is our REFUGE and STRENGTH, an EVER-PRESENT help in times of trouble - Psalm 46:1

... I really hope you enjoy your stay here and don't give up hope..
because.. .being hopeless isn't fun... and it's breaking my heart knowing that there are so many ppl out there who are suffering... seriously. I sometimes forget what being alone feels like but if you need a friend I hope I can at least encourage you.... so yeah... I'm rambling... and I don't know quite what else to say... except ppl care for you... even if you don't realize it..

Sincerely,
Your Sister in Christ,
animewarrior

[12praiseGOD]

Praying that you find those friends you want and if you want you can PM me about more details. Praying for you!

[eventide]

I was also in that place once where I really needed a friend to rely on and to be able to someone. I would be more than happy to share my experiences with you and hear more of yours, or just talk about anything, so feel free to PM me. I'll keep you in my prayers and ask God to place people in your life with who you can make connections, and who will be a positive influence on you.

[Aedin]

It's me again. I'm not even really sure what I'm trying to say here. I've been getting to know a girl lately, which has helped me more fully understand what I want in friends and in a girlfriend. She seems kindof like a socialite, which around my area, socialite's usually take friendship really casually, they care more about the quantity of friends and people they talk to, and the quantity of things they do. It seems like they always have to be out doing something. And even the ones who do really care about friendships, they have so many friends and so many things they do that they're always so busy they either don't have as much time for things as they want, or some of their friends just got pushed aside and left behind. I'm not like any of that, I don't mind hanging out at home and I'm not a socialite. So it seems I'm always the friend that gets left behind. I just want to meet friends who will actually have time for me, friends that care more about the quality of their friendships than the quantity. Also I'm obviously hoping the people I meet will have morals, and actually stick to their morals, because I hate immoral things.

And to be honest I'm feeling kindof lonely today, so I thought maybe I'd get some thoughts and opinions from other board members.

[NekoChan_C]

well, remember that all friendships take time to develop. She may seem like a socialite, but once you get to know her... who knows? Try to keep your spirits up! ^_^

[Aedin]

Hey all it's me again. I don't really know my point here is, especially since it seems most people don't even respond to my topics, but there's noone on messengers so I guess this is my only way of reaching out. I can just tell today's gonna be a bad day. Some people who have talked to me through this website know there's a history of people I know in my area not being good friends to me. I had a really good friend in school, now that school is out, he barely talks to me. I see on facebook how all these people I know in this area are going out and doing things, a couple people have a bunch of pictures from the county fair. And none of them ever reach out to me, none of them ask me to do anything. And I'm the kindof guy that would go out and do almost anything. It's just hard to feel like I'll ever meet good friends in this area. And I know what Neko said about friendships taking time to develop, but how are they ever supposed to develop if I don't get to do things with people. I can send them more messages, and talk to them more and be really friendly, but if they don't respodn to my messages or talk to me, and don't do things with me (which have all been the main problem) I just don't see anyway for things to develop. So I guess today's gonna be a bad day because no local people are good friends to me, and the few people I've met that seem to be Christian, one is a guy who has no qualms about immorality, he has no problem with drinking or getting drunk and doing drugs, he has no problems with premarital sex, and the girl (who I've talked about before) really likes partying and "nights out on the town" and she just seems like a socialite who either cares more about casual friendships than real ones, or she focuses on them more or just has so many casual friendships she has no time to develop real deep friendships. Those aren't the kinds of people I need, those aren't the kinds of friends who can help me. I hate drinking and drugs and parties, and people who enjoy those things aren't gonna help me. Today sucks because I can't meet good people, but also because all the people who aren't good friends to me, they're good friends to other people, they're always doing stuff with other people, and I was doing better about this the past few days, but today I can't stop thinking "why other people and not me?" The only thing I'm absolutely sure about that's different about me and the other people is I'm quiet, and it takes me a bit to get comfortable to be more outgoing. But that doesn't mean I should be shunned or not invited to do things. People keep telling me God will send the right people at the right time, and I just don't get why the right time hasn't happened yet, why the time for me to make friends with decent people hasn't happened yet. I just don't see or feel God helping me with anything right now.

And also please someone respond. It really sucks to be going through all this stuff and then see barely anyone respond or say anything.

[MangArtist]

Wow. A lot of the things you said are the same way with me. Like, I'm pretty quiet when around people I don't know. To the point where I don't say anything. Mostly cause I'm afraid I'll say something stupid while trying to fit in.
The, being the only one who isn't invited, is also the same with me.
Sorry that I can't give any suggestions.
I'll be praying for you, man!

[Puguni]

I wish you would stop asking people to respond, as if no one is responding. Because...people are clearly responding. Positively, even.

I'm really very sorry that you feel lonely and I know how that feels. But your last post seemed to just keep repeating the same thing, that no one does anything with you. You need to think more positively, because negativity can really show in your mannerisms and gestures. Reading your posts make me feel sad on the inside.

We're praying for you! Don't act like no one cares! There's a PM system in place for you to talk to people if you like them. Everyone in this thread seems to relate to you.

Getting quality friends takes a large amount of time and effort. Maybe you should focus less on the fact you have no one to relate to, and occupy yourself with some hobbies. You never told us what kind of hobbies you have. Join an anime club at your school or something. I don't know exactly what you mean by "reaching out" either. It's much easier to find something that you have in common with someone, rather than accosting someone who you only know somehwat.

I probably look I'm attacking you, and I'm sorry. It's just that people who feel overwhelming amounts of self-pity never seem to get out of that rut. I feel sorry for you, other board members feel sorry for you, and you feel sorry for you. God wants you to be happy, but he can only do so much if you keep wallowing in self-pity.

It's really admirable that you aren't falling into habits like drinking and drug using like your peers though. Don't be so down on yourself either; you're doing the right thing by trying to be wholesome. There are other people praying for you, me too now.

[Kamille]

Have faith in God. Eternal life and love through Jesus is more important than friendships because it is a bond that will never break. If we seek God's face before we do anything else, God promises us that we will be saved from any circumstance:

"And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved;" ~ Joel 2:32

I felt extremely lonely for most of the first 25 years of my life. This is why I'm so glad you still have hope. During college, the height of my depression, I systematically isolated myself almost to the point of death (I was suicidal). That's called living without hope. But your hope that things will get better (you're trying to get help, so I see hope in you) will help to lead you into a better relationship with God, which will lead you into good relationships with people who are truly godly and not just faking. Only you must seek to dwell in God's Word and rest in Him and only ask for something once He tells you what to ask for. Don't look for friends - look for God; first because He is everything we ever need and He loves you, and second He will give you everything you need when you need it.

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
-Matthew 6:31-34

If you give up your self-will and obey Jesus you will receive what you are looking for.

"I tell you the truth," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life." - Mark:10:29-30

I used to put the desire for friendship, especially the desire for a girlfriend, higher than most things including faith in God, which I did not have at the time. But now that I believe in Christ I no longer have an unhealthy desire for relationships because I already have a best friend who is my Lord and Savior. I have most definitely been transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2), and I pray you will too. I pray this because God told me to through Romans 12.

Also, I know you just got into a new church, but get into a Bible study. I am quiet, but the Bible study at my church has not only helped me to stay in the Word, which is most important, but also to make friends who love God.

[SnEptUne]

I don't have close friends either. If I get to close, they would think I wanted something more than friendships. If I kept my distance, I will never make any close friends. Is there any reasons why it must be so difficult to make simple friends with the other gender? *sigh*

But life is short, so who knows, it maybe over before I found what loneliness meant.

[Kunoichi]

Hey Aedin ,

Just saw this.

I know what its like to have a dark past...maybe even full of abuse (mine is littered with it) yet God is merciful and does not leave us alone, even if we think we are. "For I will never leave you nor forsake you, nay I am even with you to the end of the ages". God is good, he loves the lonely and the ones full of despair. He even loves the impatient.

Heavenly father,

I come once before you on behalf of Aedin. Father you know all too well the feeling of lonliness, for you yourself was abandoned. Father God, please just be with your child and help Aedin to grow in you and have peace.
In Jesus name I pray,

Amen

PM anytime! ^_^ ps...are you a bro or sis? heh feel bad if I don't know ^_^;;;

[Aedin]

I do want to thank you all for your responses. I know it might've seemed like I didn't appreciate the responses I got but I do. And I'm a guy.

[MBlight]

Hey Aedin, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, my heart really goes out to you and I pray God will give you the peace you need to be secure in him. I fully agree with Kamille, seek God first, He'll give you more fulfillment than you can ever hope for!

I would really like to hear the rest of your story, it may help me better understand where you're coming from, if ever you feel lonely or depressed please feel free to PM me or if I'm not online my Skype is with me always, my username is on my profile.

All the best!
MB