Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:29 pm
[quote="Nate (post: 1245734)"]I'd like to say that I don't agree with this at all. In fact, I'd say it's quite the opposite. Nobody knows us better than ourselves]
Well, ya know... God knows us better than ourselves. =p
Anette is correct. Not saying you're wrong, cause I believe this is an incredibly gray area. There are aspects of our lives that many people do not take account for, therefore it's easy for them to misjudge you because they don't know certain aspects of your life (Both positive misjudgments and negative misjudgments about your character) but if you're raised thinking negatively of things, you may think more negatively of yourself. As such, you internalize ONLY the bad things you think of yourself and you shape your own self-image as such. When you do good things, you reject those things as being a part of yourself.
Think of it as a wish-fulfillment cycle: You do something bad, as such you think of yourself as bad, Wish-fulfillment sets in where you start to believe that you are bad and you have no good qualities! Therefore, when you do something positive or good, you brush it aside as just a temporary "Yay I feel good" kind of thing. Eventually, you back to your groveling self where life's all dark and there's no hope and whatever. You do more stuff you regret, and then that pit of despair just grows bigger and bigger.
Ever hear of the Looking Glass Self? It's a sociological concept where you initially have a certain self-image of yourself. It may be good, bad, indifferent, whatever. Then you go out into the world and do whatever: Work, school, church, it can be anything. Here, you see how other people see of you. Or rather, your biased perception of what you think of how others see you. (Which can be different depending on how you feel about yourself prior to further self-evaluation) If you think or believe that other people see you as an awesome person, your sense of self is more positive. If you think or believe that others see you as a stupid or messed up person, then your sense of self is generally negative. Now, your perception may be that "all people see me as the scum of the earth". The resulting factor will be that you see yourself very poorly. However, this is based SOLELY on your perception. I personally think that you're a great and fun guy to hang around with. Argumentative and often seemingly-angry, yes. But for the most part I vastly enjoy your company and I think you have many good traits. Unfortunately, your self may be to the point where most positive affirmation may have very little effect.
Yes we all have bad traits about ourselves, but it's very possible for someone to be caught up so much in the negative that they fail to see the goodness of them. To much self-negativity and you're probably a really depressed guy. To much self-positivity and you look like a narcissist. A healthy mix of both along with the help and advice of others (And yeah Nate, do you have friends that know the darker side of you yet still have positive opinions about you) is what brings a healthy balance between the two.
And that is the psychology/sociology lesson for today.
