Sex and sexuality and sexual orientation...

[Tsukuyomi]

[quote="Sheenar (post: 1243802)"] (Unless they burn with desire--then better to marry and not sin)

I'm really sorry, but that kinda sounds wrong to me o.o; Not saying this is the ONLY reason, but getting married just for the sake of doing it? That's kinda what it sounds like to me.. Please don't hate me ;__;

[Kuro-Mizu]

I once posted a blog about something called "gender variant behaviors," which are entirely bull. Basically, if a girl likes horseriding, Lord of the Rings and having small breasts, she's practically a lesbian and a boy who likes the color pink and doing ballet is just about gay. Well, I guess that means I'm a lesbian then, toodaloo! This sort of thinking is a complete fallacy and based on old-fashioned gender roles. Even the Bible wasn't this stringent--Deborah was a judge and Lydia ran her own company. Had nothing to do with who they chose to sleep with.

I know you only lightly touched on the male side of this issue because it was addressed to minaki but I agree this is a complete fallacy. I have people who assume I am gay because I love art and theatre etc... it really pisses me off.

People go around going "wow I bet hes gay" or "wow she seems like such a lesbo"

and I always look at them and say "You have no reason to think that besides the fact that they don't fit into natural gender roles so why don't you shuyt your pie trap"

or something along those lines.

ok TO MINAKI-

yeah go rawk the wolrd hehe!

if you want to spend your life alone and use all that time to engineer new thoughts and ideas go for it.

about the problem's your having. well I think everyone has times in their life where they sturggle with sexual identity. Especially during the teen years when hormones get out of wack and whatnot. I wouldn't worry about seemingly having feelings for both sexes it will probably dissipate. Of course if it doesn't maybe find somebody to talk to about it?

If you have decided to stay single and die a virgin maybe when thoughts like these enter your head try striking back by thinking about how great it will be to be alone?

I am sorry this probably isn't very helpful

[Tsukuyomi]

Hmmm, well, some rules are meant to be broken o.o

BAD TSUKKIE.. BAD D:<

I'm a bad influence ;___;

Not all rules, but just the gender role.. rules o.o;

[Corkyspaniel]

[color="LemonChiffon"][font="Times New Roman"] Minaki, you aren't the only one who feels that way. First, I'd like to say that I'm not comfortable with submitting to my husband someday, either. I mean, if he wants kids, but wants me to give up my life's dreams for him, or something like that, I can't. Also, I really hate the gender roles thing. People thought I was a lesbian throughout middle school, because I somehow fit the criteria. And for guys, I think it's even worse because they can't be artistic or sensitive. I mean, the very characteristics that we say are attractive are also indicative of being gay. I don't understand it.
Second, I'm kind of conflicted about masturbation, too. Like a lot of girls, it's something I've done and been ashamed about.
I'll be praying for you, too. I hope this thread helps.
1 Corinthians 7: 8-9:
But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
[/font][/color]

[Maledicte]

I know you only lightly touched on the male side of this issue because it was addressed to minaki but I agree this is a complete fallacy. I have people who assume I am gay because I love art and theatre etc... it really pisses me off.

People go around going "wow I bet hes gay" or "wow she seems like such a lesbo"

and I always look at them and say "You have no reason to think that besides the fact that they don't fit into natural gender roles so why don't you shuyt your pie trap"

or something along those lines.

Yes. It's rather ironic that in the 1950's or so art was considered manly, which meant splashing and dripping bits of paint over a canvas on the floor. And of course, prior to that art was a men's-exclusive club since...gee, the Byzantine age, or something. Same thing with theater (the Noh theatre in Japan, anyone?)

Also, pink used to be a boy's color (as it's a variant of red) and blue was a girl's color. And in Persia, girls wore pants while men wore robes and skirts. Pants were unisex in China and men in Middle Ages Europe wore tights.

Point being: gender roles and acceptable practices have changed, even reversed, over time.

Would that humans were all hermaphroditic organisms. That would make this sort of thing so much easier.

[Puguni]

Ha ha, WOW. I had to open my reply in a new tab so I can remember to take notes. So here it goes.

Some points:

- All the girls are complaining about periods, and I agree. However, what happens if several months you get nothing? It helps you call attention to something that might be wrong with you that the rest of the body can't see. Except the situations that immediately come to mind are anorexia/bulimia and pregnancy... LOL, I got nothing.

- The reason you might not want to engage in sex, but still like to read ecchi/hentai titles, I guess, is because ecchi and hentai art styles are unrealistic. It's meant to look attractive. I always look away when I see a real sex scene in a movie, or quickly exit a webpage with real porn. Real life porn is gross. D:

- Minaki, God loves you no matter what. He can see into your innermost thoughts and feelings and not be disgusted by it. I think you're just dealing with societal norms. Being Asian doesn't help, what with looking down on girls. I'd like to add, that because of that chauvinism, China is facing a major Chinese girl shortage. I SERIOUSLY think that Asians need to be reminded they're in America now. Girls have the ability to do just as much as boys do.

- I'm not sure what advice to give you, but I will pray.

"Let me put it this way: If I get married, I want to be the husband. I want to make the household decisions and I want HIM to submit to ME. That doesn't mean that he has to do all the cooking and cleaning necessarily, but I I HAVE to wear the pants in such a relationship. Why? Because I'm a selfish anal control freak. Which probably means that I'll never have this problem."

Laaawl, does anyone remember that couple from Rugrats? The mom was pretty masculine and obviously feminist, where as the dad was clearly wasn't a typical man, but they seemed happy. These types of relationship do exist. Relationships/marriage aren't all silver lined and full of happiness and love. That's where selfishness comes in, because one or both parties are looking for their own benefit from the relationship. They expect the other to provide the happiness.

I think I'm losing coherence because it's so late at night. ;;;

[Nate]

BUT GUYS MOCK ME FOR THIS. I DO NOT COMPREHEND.

Guys mock me for it too. I'm just saying being a guy doesn't mean you'll automatically be tough and immune to frustration and crying. It's kind of the same as if I said, "I wish I was a girl so I wouldn't care about sex." Yeah, for the most part females are the more reserved when it comes to sex, but that's just in general, it's not true for all of them.

At this point, I don't know if I have a sexual abnormality or just hormones or just major PMS, so I don't know how to respond ._.

The rant wasn't particularly directed at you. I know you're not sure what you are, or what's going on. You may very well not be asexual. It's not my call to say what you are or what's going on with you.

Also I agree with Sheenar. Asexuality, if you are indeed asexual, would be a tremendous blessing, as Paul does say he wishes everyone could be unmarried like he was. So if you are, you should probably be a bit proud of it. :3

Man I'm starting to wish I was asexual. I mean I'm going to end up alone anyway so it would just be a whole lot easier if I didn't care about it.

[GeneD]

Okay. Quick reply, I have to go to work in a few minutes.

DO WANT. GIMME GIMME.
Well, not quite, it wouldn't solve all the problems, right?

It won't get rid of your hormones unfortunately, or if they remove the hormone-releasing components you have to take supplements. Trust me, if you don't, things could get really ugly.

Let me put it this way: If I get married, I want to be the husband. I want to make the household decisions and I want HIM to submit to ME. That doesn't mean that he has to do all the cooking and cleaning necessarily, but I I HAVE to wear the pants in such a relationship. Why? Because I'm a selfish anal control freak. Which probably means that I'll never have this problem.

There are many successful relationships and marriages where the woman "wears the pants". A friend of mine's parents have this situation. No offence, but I don't think any relationship where one member, male or female, dominates totally is a very healthy one. It's about mutual respect and submission. I believe decisions have to be made together. Okay, maybe you think I'm being idealistic, but I'm taking about marriage or if the couple are very close to it. To use Corkyspaniel's post:

I mean, if he wants kids, but wants me to give up my life's dreams for him, or something like that, I can't.

This kind of thing needs to be addressed in a relationship before marriage is considered. Say my partner wants to have 6 kids and I don't want any and we are both set in our ways. I can't marry my partner and expect him to give up his dream for children either. And he can't make me give up my career for 6 children. That's not fair both ways. Either we need to come to a compromise or maybe it would be best not for us to get married. If either of us "dominates" and makes those kinds of life-changing decisions on their own, the marriage is going to get difficult.

So it's like intellectually I don't want to have sex, but biologically I do?
Is that why some rape victims still feel pleasure at it? ._.

Yes, more or less. I think there is some sort of sexual drive that steams from the brain and other elements of body chemistry.

[Mave]

Hi Nate,

Thanks for your rant - gives me an opportunity to learn how to be more clear with my messages. Ok, I meant my message to be encouraging, not condemning in any way.

Let's be clear on a few things:

1) Sin is sin. All sexualities of any nature has its own different struggles but it's all the same - SIN I may not be attracted to the same gender but it's still the [insert unladylike expression] matter and all of us suffer the uphill struggle. As long as I struggle under the sex department, I respectfully intend to sympathize and encourage each other.

2) The choice that I was referring to was the choice to keep fighting, not the choice to be [insert sexuality].

Statement 1: "You choose to be born with sin, stop sinning and everything will be fine."

Statement 2: "You are born with sin, stop trying to fight sin. Just accept it and everything will be fine."

Statement 1 is just plain idiotic but Statement 2 is the defeatist attitude the devil wants us to accept. I never thought of our struggles as a flip switch and an easy thing to overcome. I've had my weak moments where I feel as if I should just give up. Sometimes I think to myself, "I just keep sinning over and over again, and God must hate me by now. I'm so stupid trying to fight this." But I feel God comfort me by telling me that the most important thing is not to give up.

And that keeps me going today.

3) God heals and leaves thorns as He sees fit. I also understand that God sometimes doesn't take it away. I doubt God's going to take mine away, leaving it to humble me and keep me close to Him (that's just my point of view, of course). But I still pray that God will give me the strength, the faith in His forgiveness and mercy that I should keep trying my best no matter how impossible it feels, to the day that I die. That is my prayer for all of us.

Minaki-chan, if I was discouraging or mean in any way, I'm sorry. I sincerely want to give encouragement to anyone who struggle in this area (personally, I have loved ones in this area) but I'm still learning how to so pls teach me. (^_^);;

Oh and yes, in Singapore, everyone says all this: La, mah, aiya, alamak....LOL I'm actually a Malaysian and was in the US for a few years. I'm back in Asia now and am really thankful for where God has placed me. XD

[uc pseudonym]

Let me put it this way: If I get married, I want to be the husband. I want to make the household decisions and I want HIM to submit to ME. That doesn't mean that he has to do all the cooking and cleaning necessarily, but I I HAVE to wear the pants in such a relationship. Why? Because I'm a selfish anal control freak. Which probably means that I'll never have this problem.

Are you describing a problem or a state of being? As someone who is a massive control freak who spends a great deal of energy trying not to be, I think you see my angle.

My obsession with pants stems from something like this: obviously, I can't wear the pants with God and there aren't any pants anyway. But God is 923492387898273102019283x awesomer than me, so submitting to him makes sense. Boys are not 923492387898273102019283x awesomer than me, so I don't see why I have to be the sub. I bet I can be at least 1.5x awesomer than my husband if I try, so I want to be the dom. I just don't think it's fair. I think I can make decisions just as well as any other person. I would make a slavery analogy, but I won't.

Isn't Christianity all about submitting yourself to people a lot worse than you? I mean, the very beginning of the religion is God sacrificing for the sake of worthless humanity and then calling us to do the same for each other (who are, obviously, essentially identical compared to God's arbitrarily high awesomeness factor).

That paragraph wasn't meant to relate to marriage, I hope you realize. I think there shouldn't be any pants.

Well, generally I use my mouth to speak...

So what you're saying is that you don't use your brain when you speak?

But I feel like the brain differences between women and men are either neutral or lean in men's favor. Aren't men wired to be better at problem-solving and logic? That's not to say that women are going to be worse or that men can't be creative, but I'm just saying that if there are brain differences, women don't luck out as a result.

I disagree. My unqualified but vaguely educated opinion is that the differences are fairly minor and overall even (logic versus communication). Regardless, they're definitely dwarfed by the differences between people in general.

[Sheenar]

[quote="Tsukuyomi (post: 1243840)"][quote="Sheenar (post: 1243802)"] (Unless they burn with desire--then better to marry and not sin)

I'm really sorry, but that kinda sounds wrong to me o.o]

No, you misunderstand. I was just paraphrasing 1 Corinthians 7:8-9

" Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

Also, as for submitting to my future husband, I will gladly do so if he is following the command to "love your wife as Christ loved the church" --if he is doing that, then he won't take advantage of his position as head of the family.

[Tsukuyomi]

Also, as for submitting to my future husband, I will gladly do so if he is following the command to "love your wife as Christ loved the church" --if he is doing that, then he won't take advantage of his position as head of the family.

I'd have no problems either, but... Tssukie has some relationship issues -_- I've just seem too many fall apart around me and/or that type of thing. Where the man does take advantage of his position of the head of the house o.o;

I know I shouldn't think that way, but.. it's just something I need to work on u_u/

[Nate]

I think there shouldn't be any pants.

I second this sentiment!

[Puguni]

But I feel like the brain differences between women and men are either neutral or lean in men's favor. Aren't men wired to be better at problem-solving and logic? That's not to say that women are going to be worse or that men can't be creative, but I'm just saying that if there are brain differences, women don't luck out as a result.

[mechana2015]

I think there shouldn't be any pants.

I think I'm putting this in my sig.

[minakichan]

well I think everyone has times in their life where they sturggle with sexual identity. Especially during the teen years when hormones get out of wack and whatnot. I wouldn't worry about seemingly having feelings for both sexes it will probably dissipate.

Hrmmm, really? ._. I guess my friends never say that they have issues like that. Maybe I'm not such a freak *_*?

If you have decided to stay single and die a virgin maybe when thoughts like these enter your head try striking back by thinking about how great it will be to be alone?

That's what my brain always reminds me when my heart starts acting idiotic. XD

People thought I was a lesbian throughout middle school, because I somehow fit the criteria.

Yeah, people said that about me a lot when I called myself "asexual," just because I wasn't "heterosexual." >_>; Now I can honestly say that I don't know if I'm lesbian, but back then I most certainly was not.

Would that humans were all hermaphroditic organisms. That would make this sort of thing so much easier.

Yesplz! Also, I think androgyny is beautiful *_* WAIT DOES THAT MEAN THAT I CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY TOOOOOOOO?

However, what happens if several months you get nothing? It helps you call attention to something that might be wrong with you that the rest of the body can't see.

Actually, during high school, I was so stressed out from schoolwork that my body went totally out of whack and I didn't have a period for 4 months at a time. Let me tell you, that situation itself gave me so much relief from the stress. I think that when I have a period with little outside stress, it's more painful than being period-free with school stress. Similarly, if I had periods on top of the workload, I probably would have committed suicide (if you haven't realized yet, my periods are pretty freaking bad). So I still hate periods =D

Real life porn is gross. D:

DITTO. That's why I like animu girls..... so cute. Real women look terrible naked XD;;;

He can see into your innermost thoughts and feelings and not be disgusted by it.

o.o really?

I'd like to add, that because of that chauvinism, China is facing a major Chinese girl shortage.

I read that this has actually caused crime rates to go up in China-- supposedly because young men aren't settling down, so they resort to other outlets to spend their time. I don't know if correlation implies causation here, but interesting to think about.

Man I'm starting to wish I was asexual. I mean I'm going to end up alone anyway so it would just be a whole lot easier if I didn't care about it.

YOU HAVE US NATEEEEEEEEEEE.

No offence, but I don't think any relationship where one member, male or female, dominates totally is a very healthy one. It's about mutual respect and submission.

Yeah, I know. ._. I've pretty much been playing devil's advocate in this thread. I just don't like the way it sounds, you know, in the Bible: wives submit to husbands, husbands be sure to love your wives. It just SOUNDS bad, and it gets read as "women, do what your husband says; men, make sure your appreciate your wife's obedience." Which is what a lot of girls at my church believe, and I just feel terrible about that. I want to avoid marriage to avoid even the possibility that something like that will come to pass.

Are you describing a problem or a state of being? As someone who is a massive control freak who spends a great deal of energy trying not to be, I think you see my angle.

State of being. I have no intentions to improve myself, and I don't consider it extremely problematic XD

Isn't Christianity all about submitting yourself to people a lot worse than you? I mean, the very beginning of the religion is God sacrificing for the sake of worthless humanity and then calling us to do the same for each other (who are, obviously, essentially identical compared to God's arbitrarily high awesomeness factor).

.____________________________________.
....Yes. You're right. I feel very humbled now.

I'm such an arrogant human that I just don't want that. I suppose it's a case of "injustice is when bad things happen to ME" or something. I honestly don't think I'll ever shed my pride enough to be willing to submit to a man-- at least without it being mutual. But I know you say you're not talking about marriage, so I guess there's not much more to be said on this vein.

So what you're saying is that you don't use your brain when you speak?

You've read the OP. You know that this is CLEARLY the case.

My unqualified but vaguely educated opinion is that the differences are fairly minor and overall even

That's actually what I meant, but I think I worded it poorly.

I've just seem too many fall apart around me and/or that type of thing. Where the man does take advantage of his position of the head of the house o.o;

That's me. I could totally psychoanalyze myself right now and say that all my fears about love and marriage stem from MY CHILDHOOD because I never had good role models for it, and my >< at men's position as head of the household stem from my daddy issues.

I second this sentiment!

I KNEW IT! XDDD

[Tsukuyomi]

That's me. I could totally psychoanalyze myself right now and say that all my fears about love and marriage stem from MY CHILDHOOD because I never had good role models for it, and my >< at men's position as head of the household stem from my daddy issues.

Not trying to cancel anything out or anything (or something like that), but that seems to be the case in with traditional Asian families o.o My family has had LOTS of up and downs.. due to daddy issues >_>

Everything's fine now, but it still kinda scares me, you know?

And, hearing the couple fighting across the street.. didn't help >_>

[Prince Asbel]

[quote="Tsukuyomi (post: 1243840)"][quote="Sheenar (post: 1243802)"] (Unless they burn with desire--then better to marry and not sin)

I'm really sorry, but that kinda sounds wrong to me o.o]

I'm going to chime in here with the easy question. Let's face it, Tsukuyomi. Most people marry for that reason. That's not bad or wrong. In fact, I would argue it is natural. Plus, you have to keep in mind that marriage was strictly utilitarian back then in that culture. It was very different from today in this happy-slappy society where ideas of a special type of magical love (That I don't think really exists for 98% of people) is popularized in our books and movies. So to marry for that reason and no other was normative for them, and thus, not unusual for Paul to suggest.

[SnEptUne]

[quote="minakichan (post: 1242774)"]At the same time, I have never really felt like a girl in my life. I grew up with an aversion to "girly things," and people mistake me for a guy all the time. Most of my guy friends (including the ones I've had crushes on) don't even really think of me as a girl... And while it pisses me off, sometimes I really, really wish I was a guy-- I always have. I hate being a girl-- I hate menstruation, I hate PMS, I hate being told what I can't do because of my gender by my parents, I hate not being able to pee standing up, I hate feeling guilty when I touch myself (which apparently, almost all men do, but it's abnormal and wrong for women to do...*). I really don't know what my sexual orientation is. I can look at girl friends and really feel like I want to get close to them and be with them... I even feel jealous sometimes when they talk to/about boyfriends. I think girls are so cute! I... I like fanservice, but I've always enjoyed girl fanservice more than boy fanservice... Looking at pictures of cute or sexy girls excites me more than looking at the same of boys. I even started reading ecchi and porn for the cute girls in the past couple of months... at the same time, I don't know if it's sexual arousal or not]

Is it really because of gender, or is it because of cultural expectation? Aren't things people labeled girly merely based on the stereotypical views of what is girly in a given culture? Spiritually, male and female are the same.

I too questioned my sexuality; and still haven't seen light on it for years. I don't know what it is like to be in love, if the butterfly feeling in my stomach is love, is solving math problem love since I would feel the same?

I sometimes like to think of people of the same gender, because I found them cute and funny, but it is probably because 90% of my class is of the same gender. There are people who I feel close to and don't mind living with, is that friendship or is that something else? Words such as homosexual and hetrosexuaal are useful in a textbook, but as a person, I found such classification over simplistic and over-generalizing.

I don't know if touching yourself is unbiblic or not, and it is over-generalizing to assume people must have perverted thoughts when touching themself. If a person is chewing, does that mean the person must be thinking of eating? Maybe for some people (or even most people), that may be the case, it isn't true for everyone.

Is the mere act of seeing image of naked people, such as cute baby bathing with ducks, a sin? I think not. It is only adultury when one start having lustful thought of someone as a sex object. That being said, in today's world, women are often shown half naked in provokative manner in advertisement. They gain money by installing sexual thoughts into some people's mind, which I believe should be outlawed.

Sorry for my ranting and my extremist tone, I haven't gotten much sleep lately due to my projects. I have to masturbate myself to sleep, which I would rather do without (but the alternative would be sleeping pills).

[Nate]

Is it really because of gender, or is it because of cultural expectation? Aren't things people labeled girly merely based on the stereotypical views of what is girly in a given culture? Spiritually, male and female are the same.

YOU HAVE US NATEEEEEEEEEEE.

I think there are laws against me marrying all of you. :p

Real women look terrible naked XD;;;

I disagree with this sentiment!

[Sheenar]

I think there are laws against me marrying all of you. :p

I disagree with this sentiment!

Hey, you'll find somebody, Nate. At least you are fighting your "deviancy" --there are many people who love their sin and stay in it. I think some girl will be attracted by your willingness to keep fighting and to keep trying.

As for Prince Asbel's post, yeah, I'd be marrying for that reason -being that I want to have children--and in order to get those...well, you know. Even if I adopted a child, the child should still have a father in his/her life. Plus, having the companionship and someone to share your life with and to seek God with.
So, yeah, and after all this talk about women and submission--I hate to say this--but I would be perfectly happy being a stay at home mom. Of course I'll work for a while, but if God blesses me with a child, then I will stay at home and be with him/her.
I was a latchkey kid...and I hated coming home to an empty house...I want to be the mother my mother wasn't. But that's just me personally.

[SnEptUne]

Hey, you'll find somebody, Nate. At least you are fighting your "deviancy" --there are many people who love their sin and stay in it. I think some girl will be attracted by your willingness to keep fighting and to keep trying.

As for Prince Asbel's post, yeah, I'd be marrying for that reason -being that I want to have children--and in order to get those...well, you know. Even if I adopted a child, the child should still have a father in his/her life. Plus, having the companionship and someone to share your life with and to seek God with.
So, yeah, and after all this talk about women and submission--I hate to say this--but I would be perfectly happy being a stay at home mom. Of course I'll work for a while, but if God blesses me with a child, then I will stay at home and be with him/her.
I was a latchkey kid...and I hated coming home to an empty house...I want to be the mother my mother wasn't. But that's just me personally.

People often take bible passage out of context, and this is no exception.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.'' (Ephesians 5:22)

But why do they ignore the verse just right before it?

"Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God,'' (Ephesians 5:21)

Wives are to submit to their husband just has husbands are to submit themselve to their wives. Has bible becomes a political tools to justify submission of women? Yes, it has, especially by taking passages out of context just like how the devil tested Jesus. But that doesn't mean we should blindly follow it without question, as that would tarnish the name of Jesus.

[ChristianKitsune]

<me has just read all this thread O_O>

I would like to say that I've learned a LOT from reading this thread... seriously.

Minakichan, you are not alone with your feelings about your gender, sexuality, marriage....

I don't look at anything sexual.. ^^; be it, hetero or homosexual.. O_O both make me sick to think about... :/ (so maybe I'M wierd? for not wanting anything like that?!)

I know God intended sex between a man and woman to be a beautiful gift that solidifies their marriage... but right now, that totally doesn't interest me.

I mean I have my days were I am like "Wow, I wish I had a guy to lean on...so I won't be alone..." But that fantasy quickly goes away within a few hours.

Like you, I'm just WAY to busy with my own life to want to split it with a guy! (that's not to say that it will NEVER happen... I'm only 20, after all...)

Like Mave said, I don't think I'm spiritually ready for a guy. I still need to learn to keep God First in my life before I even need to think about another person to pay attention too.. ^^;

I hate being a girl too. OMGosh do I hate it... I don't want kids either. Although I how cute kids are and I want to be able to show them Christ's love. I don't want to give birth to kids on my own, and I don't want to deal with their bratty ways. (My little sister has REALLY turned me off to kids...) I won't be a good mom. At least not right now. Maybe when I'm like... 30 or something. O_o but...that's a HUGE maybe...

I've been mistaken for being a lesbian too... I HATE Makeup. I HATE dresses, I am comfortable wearing jeans and a casual shirt! >_< I'm totally not interested in looking at guys, but I'm not interested in looking at girls either...

But then again, that's probably because in High school every guy that I had even a small interest in, ended up being gay, or didn't show an interest in me. I've never had a boyfriend, and I'm not entirely sad about that.

Although, I am afraid of being old and alone... :/ So...maybe I'm fooling myself?

ANYWAYS enough about me... (just trying to show you, that you aren't alone...^_^; you aren't wierd by any means) Maybe like others have hinted at, God has just called the both of us to die virgins. I mean...wouldn't he give us desires to be otherwise? And it's obvious that right now you don't want it. ^^;

Like the others have said, society has decided for us what roles women should play...and they are so messed up, its ridiculous.

I encourage you to at least try to talk to God about this. He already knows your heart, and who you are... If you can focus when you pray, maybe type it out? I've found that keeping a prayer journal is REALLY helpful because I have a really small attention span, and unless I type it, I end up rambling, or just thinking about the next race, what I will draw next or what I'm going to do during the day.

Pour your heart out to God...he'll listen.

And...unfortunately, you might need to swallow some of that pride to do it.. ^^; The Bible does say that it's wrong to be so prideful... and that humility is always better...

God doesn't care how good you can pray, Really. He just wants to hear from his children. Think about it, if you can even imagine being a parent... if you can even fathom the love that most parents have for their kids, and they don't call...or anything...wouldn't that make you sad? I'd probably die of sadness if my kids would never call...

But yeah...sorry for the rant. *hugs* I'll definately pray for you. But like Mave said we choose who we want to be. Whether we are going to fight our afflicitions or roll over and give in.

Sorry for the lengthyness... I'm longwinded... >_<

[NekoChan_C]

People often take bible passage out of context, and this is no exception.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.'' (Ephesians 5:22)

But why do they ignore the verse just right before it?

"Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God,'' (Ephesians 5:21)

Wives are to submit to their husband just has husbands are to submit themselve to their wives. Has bible becomes a political tools to justify submission of women? Yes, it has, especially by taking passages out of context just like how the devil tested Jesus. But that doesn't mean we should blindly follow it without question, as that would tarnish the name of Jesus.

the problem I have with that is that you are leaving out the verses directly succeeding:

"23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word..."

It goes back to this basic principle: The husband is the head of the household, charged with the full leadership responsibility of the family's welfare. The wife is his "ezer kenegdo", which is generically translated as helpmeet. HOWEVER: That term does not give Eve (or any woman) it's proper due. The word root "ezer", meaning help, is only used sparsely in the Bible, usually for GOD when we are in dire straits, and He comes through to save us in a serious time of need. The world "kenegdo" means an opposite or counterpart.

So while the husband may be the head of the family the wife is his lifesaving counterpart. The previous verse:

"20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."

I would not take that as symbolic of a marriage relationship, per se, but as a warning to be accountable to others in your actions and behaviors.

[Tsukuyomi]

But why do they ignore the verse just right before it?

"Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God,'' (Ephesians 5:21)

Because SOME just want it one way >_> That one way being ONLY women submitting u_u

Wives are to submit to their husband just has husbands are to submit themselve to their wives.

If only this was in their argument.. I would have no problems whatsoever, but it wasn't o.O

I would have no problem submitting to one who would submit to me, but.. If it's just a one way thing.. NO DEAL >_<

[NekoChan_C]

but the problem is that many (if not most) women today don't understand what they are being called to in marriage, or what submission is. It doesn't mean being a slave. It doesn't mean that the husband gets to abuse his authority and be the domineering tyrant. It means that the God is the Commander in Chief, the husband is the Captain and the wife is his first officer. While the captain may have a higher rank it doesn't automatically mean that he veto's every decision that the first officer makes. AND it means they are BOTH subject to God's authority.
In a Godly marriage, the wife has a very special and sacred place in the life of her husband. She's his sounding board, his confidant, his partner in every way! The only difference is that the man has a higher authority, and a greater responsibility.

you may think now that you want to be in control, and maybe you will always feel that way... but I've been there for years and IT ISN'T ALL THAT FUN. I **know** this as a woman who was with a man who wanted all of the control, all of the respect, yet NONE of the responsibility. I was seriously independent, the breadwinner, while he was the tyrant. He looked like a strong man, but he was weak and I was moving behind the scenes to keep it all together. THAT kind of man needs a reality check. And Jesus.

To quote Spiderman: with great power comes great responsibility.

I personally can't wait until I have the solid, unified front of having my husband to count on, to lean on...

God created marriage to be a living, breathing symbol of the relationship between Jesus and the church. It is a good thing.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

I think there shouldn't be any pants.

[Tsukuyomi]

while he was the tyrant. He looked like a strong man, but he was weak and I was moving behind the scenes to keep it all together. THAT kind of man needs a reality check. And Jesus.

That's the types I'm afraid of O_O I'm easily (VERY EASILY) intimidated o_o; Those type of guys scare me ;__; I'm not saying ALL guys are like that. That's why I feel so fortunate to know some who aren't.. power hungry (?) ^__^

I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic that wants everything to be perfect, but I guess that's not really possible huh? In any type of relationship ^ ^

[NekoChan_C]

A man who is striving to be Godly in his life will not be like that. Jesus was a man of strength and authority, but he was never a tyrant, not to his disciples, nor to the people he was sent to save...

It is a big reason why God calls us to not be yoked to unbelievers in marriage. It can be very easy to take advantage of your position when your heart and eyes are not focused on Him.

Take heart, because as you said, not all men are like that. And the man that God brings to you in marriage may challenge you in ways, but if his heart is right, he will not seek to dominate or belittle you.

[Tsukuyomi]

Take heart, because as you said, not all men are like that. And the man that God brings to you in marriage may challenge you in ways, but if his heart is right, he will not seek to dominate or belittle you.

Awww, thank you ^^ I do find comfort in that It's just, kinda scary.. You know?

I do trust that I'll be led to the right person, but it's still scary o.o;

*Smiles and gives Mina back her thread* ^______________^

(Thank you Neko )