Hey guys,
I know you have all seen me post on this multiple times. *Sigh I wish I could put more happy stuff on here.
I'm dealing with my depression. I realize that I am clinically depressed. Which is other words, chemical depression. I have been fighting for so long to just beat this without meds. but I can't anymore. I fight suicide and depression EVERY SINGLE DAY! I just can't fight it anymore without some help. I have prayed, which God has given me help but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try meds either. I just can't afford to see a psychologist right now and meds, but I'm praying God will be able to help me with that.
I also am having nightmares of my past abuse. It makes me have a hard time sleeping. I also am having anxiety attacks.
I am breaking down emotionally all the time. Crying, raging, snapping at my loved ones........I want help and I can't get any! It makes me feel like this: :bang::bang::bang::bang:
Please pray. I know some of these emotions will pass. They always do. I still have my trust and faith in the Lord. But I am still healing and healing oftentimes involves pain. I just need strength.
I also got drunk last night and I rarely rarely do. Part of me did so I think I did so due to just an escape from the pain....please pray that my fiancee matt is able to have strength through this as well. It is hard on him also.
Thankyou
Kelly