Depression, Break Downs, and Struggles

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Depression, Break Downs, and Struggles

Postby Kunoichi » Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:52 am

Hey guys,

I know you have all seen me post on this multiple times. *Sigh I wish I could put more happy stuff on here.

I'm dealing with my depression. I realize that I am clinically depressed. Which is other words, chemical depression. I have been fighting for so long to just beat this without meds. but I can't anymore. I fight suicide and depression EVERY SINGLE DAY! I just can't fight it anymore without some help. I have prayed, which God has given me help but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try meds either. I just can't afford to see a psychologist right now and meds, but I'm praying God will be able to help me with that.

I also am having nightmares of my past abuse. It makes me have a hard time sleeping. I also am having anxiety attacks.

I am breaking down emotionally all the time. Crying, raging, snapping at my loved ones........I want help and I can't get any! It makes me feel like this: :bang::bang::bang::bang::bang:

Please pray. I know some of these emotions will pass. They always do. I still have my trust and faith in the Lord. But I am still healing and healing oftentimes involves pain. I just need strength.

I also got drunk last night and I rarely rarely do. Part of me did so I think I did so due to just an escape from the pain....please pray that my fiancee matt is able to have strength through this as well. It is hard on him also.

Thankyou

Kelly
I am on the forefront of battle against the demons of earth. All Praise and Glory be given to God Forever and Ever!


:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
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Postby Hana Ryuuzaki » Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:08 pm

[font="palatino Linotype"]*hugs VERY tightly*

Sis, I will be praying SO hard for you, okay??

You know that you can talk to me ANYTIME, right?
*nods*

May God bless you.[/font]
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Postby Tsukuyomi » Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:22 pm

*Hugs* You have my prayers.

You shouldn't turn to drinking.. Not even for a temporary escape. It'll still be there :( I kinda think it'll make it even worse o.o

*Is praying for the both of you* ^ ^
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Postby NekoChan_C » Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:50 pm

I'm praying, too... if meds will help you to control the symptoms of this depression, then I pray that God will provide a way for you to get them...

However, in the interim, have you considered using natural supplements (such as Valerian, Omega-3, Ginseng, etc) to help with the depression? I was having symptoms of cyclothymia for a long time and I found a ton of stuff on the web that you can use naturally to regulate your brains chemicals... of course, all this *should* be done under a doctor's care... but if you are poor like me, you sometimes end up self-diagnosing... anyways, some easy things you can do to regulate your body are a) getting 8 hours sleep each night, b) eating properly, with plenty of water, and a GOOD multi-vitamin; and c) 20-30 minutes of exercise daily.
These things seem overly simple, but you would be surprised what a real difference they make!

Hang in there... it will get better and God will strengthen you as you lean on Him.

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Postby PolarHeat » Thu Jul 10, 2008 6:32 pm

Kelly. Man will I be praying for you. It's nice that you able to finally confess this to yourself as well as to other people. The first part is admitting it. And you have just done that. Now. I'm not good at this myself. But look to God for help because he knows where you are. And he is waiting to help you. He just wants to see if you will make the same effort that he would.

I'm here if you want to chat.

I'll be praying for you.

God bless and Love

PolarHeat (Alexandra)
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Postby Gabriel 9.0 » Thu Jul 10, 2008 10:35 pm

I'll be praying for you Kelly.
Some of my favorite scriptures.

Psalm91
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

Hebrews 4-4
1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
2For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
3For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
4For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.



James 4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.



Revelation 22:14
Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
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Postby Kunoichi » Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:57 am

trying to find psychiatrist....no go..please pray am getting desperate for help
I am on the forefront of battle against the demons of earth. All Praise and Glory be given to God Forever and Ever!


:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
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Postby SnEptUne » Sun Jul 13, 2008 6:21 pm

Kunoichi (post: 1243589) wrote:Hey guys,

I know you have all seen me post on this multiple times. *Sigh I wish I could put more happy stuff on here.

I'm dealing with my depression. I realize that I am clinically depressed. Which is other words, chemical depression. I have been fighting for so long to just beat this without meds. but I can't anymore. I fight suicide and depression EVERY SINGLE DAY! I just can't fight it anymore without some help. I have prayed, which God has given me help but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try meds either. I just can't afford to see a psychologist right now and meds, but I'm praying God will be able to help me with that.

I also am having nightmares of my past abuse. It makes me have a hard time sleeping. I also am having anxiety attacks.

I am breaking down emotionally all the time. Crying, raging, snapping at my loved ones........I want help and I can't get any! It makes me feel like this: :bang::bang::bang::bang::bang:

Please pray. I know some of these emotions will pass. They always do. I still have my trust and faith in the Lord. But I am still healing and healing oftentimes involves pain. I just need strength.

I also got drunk last night and I rarely rarely do. Part of me did so I think I did so due to just an escape from the pain....please pray that my fiancee matt is able to have strength through this as well. It is hard on him also.

Thankyou

Kelly


At the very least, you still have someone you can love. Unlike me, who has nothing, no money, no friends, no job (in school). I may also be clinically depressed, but I just don't think about it too much. It maybe health related problem, as I often felt as if something is sitting on my chest. Anyway, hope you can overcome the problem.

I only have 6 months of school left, whether I will live or be dead by the end, it is up to God's will for I have done everything I can.
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Postby Prince Asbel » Sun Jul 13, 2008 9:11 pm

I'm so sorry I didn't post here sooner. I'm so so sorry that you're not getting better, Kunoichi. As always you're in my prayers. I wish I could offer some real advice to remedy your depression, but there's only so much us internet acquaintances can do. Perhaps dwelling on your boyfriend's salvation will help, however little.
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Postby Kunoichi » Mon Jul 14, 2008 8:21 am

well I'm really diving into the Lord! That is the most important thing. God is really blessing me as well! Altho my situation has not changed, the more I dive into his Word..the more healing that I feel
I am on the forefront of battle against the demons of earth. All Praise and Glory be given to God Forever and Ever!


:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
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Postby Sheenar » Mon Jul 14, 2008 12:34 pm

I'm currently going through a devotional that is really helping me and I think it would help you also.
It's called Lord, I Want to Be Whole by Stormie Omartian --I'm going through the journal--and man, it's made me face my past (which I try to block out mostly) and allow God to begin to heal it.
You can find it here: Link

I'm still praying for you, my friend. *hugs*
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Postby hxckid » Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:59 am

your in my prayrs sister
if i could only find a sense of purity
through all of this insanity
mabey i could find my way out
of what i drown in all the time

if i could only find a sense of purity
in anything i hold dear
mabey i could fly like a bird
and forget all of your words
that pierced my heart
when you pulled me in to push me out
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Postby chelle0227 » Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:57 am

I'll be praying for you.

I hope your situation improves.
Footprints in the sand by Carolyn Joyce Carty

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of foot prints in the sand: one belonging to him the other to the lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the foot prints in the sand.

He noticed that name times along the path of his life there was only one set o footprints.

He also noticed that it was at the lowest and saddest times of his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the lord about it:

"lord, you said once i decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But i have noticed during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of foot prints. I dont understand why when i needed you most you would leave me."

The lord replied:

"My son, my precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that i carried you."
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Postby Kamille » Sat Jul 19, 2008 4:18 pm

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." - Isaiah 53:5

I'm praying for you and SnEptUne and Sheenar and everyone. If you need meds I pray you find them. Anti-depressants were one of the instruments God used in my life to keep me alive until I finally read His Word. Just don't use them without a doctor. For instance I sometimes tried to get off meds by myself and I could barely walk soon after. Also, a cousin of mine died from self-medication. But it looks like you're going about this the right way - I just pray you get help soon.

And once again, I'm so happy to hear about Matt's salvation!
"Lives are power." - Kamille Bidan
"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" - Christ the Lord (John 11:25-26)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. - James 1:2-4.

Remember - the Lord will be with you - always. :)
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