The 4th was a sad day for me--holidays are always hard. They keep reminding me that I don't have a family to celebrate with --no mother or father to welcome me home with open arms --in fact, no home at all.
I find myself feeling jealous of my friends who have loving, Christian parents--they have a loving home to go to and parents they can depend on. I don't. I had to spend the 4th alone. I could have gone to a celebration in my town, but Pebbles is terrified of fireworks and I didn't want to put her through that. I tried calling people, but no one answered. I feel forgotten. I come home to an empty dorm every day --I don't have any family to go home to on the weekend --just this dorm to come home to --empty. I just want a family.
I know that there must be a reason for the things that have happened in my life. There must be. I know God has a purpose for me.
I'm just struggling so hard with fighting the lies I've been told all my life --"You're worthless" --"You're a mistake" --"You'll never amount to anything" --I know these are all lies and I know what and who Scripture says I am --it's just hard for all of that to go from my head to my heart --I know the truth, but sometimes I don't believe it --I find myself doubting.
I know my life matters to God --I know I have purpose -- it's just so hard to shake off all those lies --I've believed them for so long. I am working hard to memorize Scripture and to put up cards with verses to remind me of God's truth. I know my worth is not determined by other people --whether they call me, invite me to hang out, or ignore me and leave me alone --my worth was shown at the Cross. I just need to remember that.
Edit: I remembered these verses and they are really comforting:
Psalm 68:5-6
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing."
Fighting Lies
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Fighting Lies
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Sheenar - Posts: 2989
- Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:55 am
- Location: Texas
I had the same situation with my father for a very long time after his own un-doing of his marriage to my mother and what he did to me....
I'll be praying for you, my sister in Christ.
You're not forgotten, God will always be with you till the end of time:)
I'll be praying for you, my sister in Christ.
You're not forgotten, God will always be with you till the end of time:)
Some of my favorite scriptures.
Psalm91
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
Hebrews 4-4
1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
2For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
3For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
4For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.
James 4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Revelation 22:14
Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
Psalm91
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
Hebrews 4-4
1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
2For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
3For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
4For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.
James 4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Revelation 22:14
Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
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Gabriel 9.0 - Posts: 736
- Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:57 pm
- Location: Classified
Hey sis,
altho I now have a better relationship with my mom...for many years I had no mother or father and to this day and for the future i most likely i will never have a father...but you are right God is a father to the fatherless. *smile he is with you *hugs and your not alone in your struggle *smile
altho I now have a better relationship with my mom...for many years I had no mother or father and to this day and for the future i most likely i will never have a father...but you are right God is a father to the fatherless. *smile he is with you *hugs and your not alone in your struggle *smile
I am on the forefront of battle against the demons of earth. All Praise and Glory be given to God Forever and Ever!
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:-
Kunoichi - Posts: 1219
- Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 8:18 pm
- Location: Everywhere But Nowhere
Not sure how much this counts, but you have us 
Don't ever think you're worthless, because you're not You're here for a reason just as all of us are It may not be apparent now, but it will ^^ Perhaps slowly but surely
Don't ever think you're worthless, because you're not
You're here for a reason just as all of us are It may not be apparent now, but it will ^^ Perhaps slowly but surely 
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Tsukuyomi - Posts: 8222
- Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2004 12:00 pm
- Location: I am a figment of your imagination... I live only in your dreams... I haunt you ~(O_O)~
Listening to you, Sheenar, I sometimes wonder if I am truly grateful for my family. Maybe.... I'm just going to throw the idea on the table here, but maybe you should get a boyfriend. Someone you can at least call a close friend that would be there for you in those times when your normal, not-so-close friends aren't.
It's just a suggestion. If you've tried that before and failed, feel free to shoot me in the head.
It's just a suggestion. If you've tried that before and failed, feel free to shoot me in the head.
The greatest Christian manga of all time! http://gameplan.christianmanga.com/
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Prince Asbel - Posts: 588
- Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:26 pm
- Location: West Virginia. No, I am not a country hick.
Definetly praying!
Pray you feel better!
your sister in Christ
Pray you feel better!
your sister in Christ
[color="Red"]If GOD brings you to it, He will bring you through it.- unknown.[SIZE="3"][color="Magenta"][color="Red"][/color][/color][/SIZE]:angel:[/color]
[color="Lime"][color="Lime"]"GOD isn't sitting far away with a magnifying glass, but HE is an ever present GOD" -unknown
-meaning he is with us all the time.[/color][/color]
[color="Magenta"]"If you don't trust your wings, you'll be caught in the mountain."-myself:angel:
meaning- "If you don't trust GOD, you'll be caught in the problem."- myself[/color]
[color="Red"]@)}[/color][color="YellowGreen"]-'-,[/color]
[color="Red"]"The farthest distance between a problem and a solution, is the distance between your knees and the floor."- unknown.[/color]
[color="Lime"][color="Lime"]"GOD isn't sitting far away with a magnifying glass, but HE is an ever present GOD" -unknown
-meaning he is with us all the time.[/color][/color]
[color="Magenta"]"If you don't trust your wings, you'll be caught in the mountain."-myself:angel:
meaning- "If you don't trust GOD, you'll be caught in the problem."- myself[/color]
[color="Red"]@)}[/color][color="YellowGreen"]-'-,[/color]
[color="Red"]"The farthest distance between a problem and a solution, is the distance between your knees and the floor."- unknown.[/color]
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12praiseGOD - Posts: 615
- Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2007 2:57 pm
- Location: home is where the heart is
Prince Asbel (post: 1242897) wrote:Listening to you, Sheenar, I sometimes wonder if I am truly grateful for my family. Maybe.... I'm just going to throw the idea on the table here, but maybe you should get a boyfriend. Someone you can at least call a close friend that would be there for you in those times when your normal, not-so-close friends aren't.
It's just a suggestion. If you've tried that before and failed, feel free to shoot me in the head.
You make it sound like a boyfriend is something you can buy in a store. XD
Yeah, I'd like one of those, but I don't believe in being the one to initiate a relationship --the guy should. If a guy wants to be in a relationship, he should say so.
So I'm waiting for the right guy to come along. I've never had a boyfriend and I am willing to wait for that guy. I've seen what happens when people settle.
Like my youth pastor always said, "Why settle for Spam, when you can have steak?"
Also, boys are just plain confusing.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Sheenar - Posts: 2989
- Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:55 am
- Location: Texas
Sheenar (post: 1243048) wrote:You make it sound like a boyfriend is something you can buy in a store. XD
I'm one of the more expensive brands.
Sheenar (post: 1243048) wrote:Yeah, I'd like one of those, but I don't believe in being the one to initiate a relationship --the guy should. If a guy wants to be in a relationship, he should say so.
So I'm waiting for the right guy to come along. I've never had a boyfriend and I am willing to wait for that guy. I've seen what happens when people settle.
But not every right guy will want to be in a relationship with you. I mean, I'm not arguing the morality of the girl being the one to say so, but let's get real here. The reason people get married is because one person made the first move. The right guy might very well come along, but that doesn't mean he'll want to be with you. YOU might, and as such, will have to make the first move yourself.
Sheenar (post: 1243048) wrote:Like my youth pastor always said, "Why settle for Spam, when you can have steak?"
Also, boys are just plain confusing.
Um... whatever your pastor said, I didn't get it. But hey, if we weren't confusing to you, and if you weren't confusing to us, there wouldn't be such a big difference that makes the two genders appealing to each other.
The greatest Christian manga of all time! http://gameplan.christianmanga.com/
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Prince Asbel - Posts: 588
- Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:26 pm
- Location: West Virginia. No, I am not a country hick.
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