Why are we all fighting depression???

[NekoChan_C]

I read so many of these posts lately that are filled with sadness and despair... There are so many of us that are hurting, lonely, sad, suicidal... and it hurts my heart so bad... I am feeling it too, I feel like the end is finally coming for me, and I want to just crawl into a hole...
But as much as I am hurting, it makes me want to reach out and hug each of you guys that is hurting too...
I want to cry with you and pray with you and love you with all my heart the way I am longing to be loved, so that you won't be sad anymore...
I'm so sorry that I can't be there to share your pain... I'm sorry that all I have to offer is a note to pray for you... I *know* that prayer can change things... but sometimes, it doesn't FEEL like it's enough...
But I am hurting... my heart is broken... my soul is crying out and I know how badly I want someone to come and wipe away the tears and smooth away the pain...
and I'm so sorry that I can't help each of you out there who are feeling that way too...
If anyone wants to PM me to talk, or for prayer, or just because you want someone to really KNOW how bad you are hurting inside... I am here. I am here and God help me, I want to make someone feel happy again.

[ChristianKitsune]

NekoChan...

Thank you SO Much for your kind words! I am not personally going through any of these hard times, but I have in the past... You have such a big heart!

It truly saddens me too... But here's a passage that I want to share with you guys:

Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

This passage speaks so mightily how much God truly loves us...he knows exactly what's going on in our lives and he wants us to come to Him! He wants us to tell Him our problems...

*huggles everyone* I hope you all feel better!

[Kunoichi]

*hugs Neko..you have a heart of gold and the compassion of Christ sister!

I am someone who suffers from depression..my personality, my past and chemical occurences in my body create it so i am more susceptible to it. *hugs keep that compassion sister and you will touch people mightily

[NekoChan_C]

... I wish I could say that I am truly compassionate... My heart just hurts right now, and when my heart hurts, I am all the more reminded of the way others are hurting... I just don't want anyone to hurt anymore... I just wish there was a simple way to trade our suffering for joy again...

You guys here on CAA, I'm so glad I found this site... It gives me hope to think that there is a place where people can ask for help and not be ashamed... and that love anime, too!

But at times, it feels like the need for love is so overwhelming out there that even we as Christian brothers and sisters can't meet it...

Oy! Thank God that He always listens... I'm rambling now...

[Sparx00]

Nonsense. You're ranting. *chuckles*
But you know, when your heart hurts for others, you are compassionte. It's a feeling that maybe you were called to be a blessing to sombody fighting depession.

I know because the same thing happened to me when I saw some friends in need. (one in particular.) Somebody might need you just to be there right now Neko-chan. Be a blessing to those who need it, and be there for somebody. We Christians need to stick together y'know. I hope these words say something to you. *bows*

[animewarrior]

It's rather simple. the father of lies loves to attack those darn warriors! *smirk* ahahha but we must NOT give in...he'd love to end our lives early just to prevent us from fufulling our true purpose in the building of God's kingdom... so stay strong guys... love you all...
- Your Sister in Christ,
animewarrior

[fairyprincess90]

Thank you for having such a huge and kind heart. I don't know why so many people struggle with depression these days. From my own research I found a lot of it has to do with our diet. I feel a lot better when I'm eating healthy...yet still I do struggle...just not as much. Maybe just because the sin in this world is growing and Satan is working more and more and winning more.

I feel for anyone who feels how I do...I know how hopeless it feels and I have compassion as well. I just don't know how to help. I wish I did. =/

I also always find that I become depressed really easy when I start doing something for God. Satan attacks me to try and stop me. So sometimes I feel better when I think.."ok well I'm feeling this way because Satan is out there and he's attacking me because I was doing something right." and sometimes that makes me feel better.

But yeah.....

Thank you for your prayers! And I am praying as well for all those who struggle with depression.

[IchiTone]

"Father of Lies" indeed.

NekoChan....I'm....sorry you're hurting. And you have a wonderful heart. Don't ever give up that strength. It's amazing to me that you're even able to spread your love so far after what you've been through.

I know personally that one sure-fire way to reach a stage of true depression is to come to the realization one day that you've lived a life filled with lies. Lies to your friends, lies to your family, lies to the people you love. They can be big, little, while lies, innocent lies, even unintentional lies....but they remain what they are, and they contain the capacity to hurt just as badly.

As difficult of a process as it is to come clean, I encourage anyone out there in CAA that is suffering from this problem, which I am dealing with myself right now...that you don't have to be afraid to admit the truth. Talk to someone. A pastor. A good friend. A relative. Here on CAA. Or even post a prayer request anonymously. The healing process will take time, and you'll feel like part of you is dying inside....but in reality it will be God fixing your insides up. It will heal you, even if it doesn't seem to right away. Honesty and truth are what God wants for each and every one of us.

If you're hurting yourself or others by living a life of lies, feel free to PM me as well, and though I may be still somewhat new to CAA....I'll give whatever wisdom I've learned through my own life, trade sorrows with you, come clean with each other without fear of condemnation or chastisement, and pray together to be who God wants us to truly be. None of us need struggle alone.

[HiddenWoodchuck]

NekoChan, I will be praying for you! Very nice of you to make this post I'm also here if anyone needs someone to talk to! I've got a history of depression and anxiety, but my depression is no more. I now battle social anxiety and being worried about things, like my future and where to go next, if I should keep my current job, move on or what to do next. God has done SO much in my life, and the friends He has placed around me are amazing.

I'm here if anyone would like a friend! Many e-hugs to you all

[NekoChan_C]

To ChristianKitsune, Kunoichi, Sparx00, animewarrior, fairyprincess90, IchiTone and HiddenWoodchuck: Thank you guys for posting... the hurt can be overwhelming at times... but I have been told, and truly believe, that when *we* are hurting, it is time to stand up and heal someone else's hurts, if we can... Lifting each other up continuously is necessary and healthy.

I love you guys, and I am always here if anyone needs a hand, ear, or shoulder...
Neko

[Prince Asbel]

AH! Brain sprain! People are depressed, and we're depressed because they're depressed, and... It's a paradox.. No, it's all their fault! :mutter: But that's the burden us undepressed, cheerful people have to bear. But we have nobody to pray for us! Waaaah!!

You're really sweet, NekoChan. I sometimes feel the same way, though I doubt I feel like crawling in a hole. But I hear about these things and sometimes I do feel like I have to crawl my way out of the Prayer Room. Often I wish I could do more than type a note.

[NekoChan_C]

All I can say is that my own hurt makes me more aware of the hurt around me... and it makes me want to hug people and share their pain by osmosis or something... I just wish that there was more I could do to stop people from hurting...

[SailorDove]

Nekochan,

Thank you for posting this thread and you and everyone else here at CAA are in my prayers.

This conversation made me think of Tohru, how she kept loving & helping others while dealing with everything she went thru.

[Tsukuyomi]

Aww, Neko.. I feel the same way too o_o I wish I can just take everyone's pain away I really hate seeing them hurting

[Gabriel 9.0]

I myself in have had great depression from past events in my life....Still have it once and a while.

This current world can be a very tough place to live on everyday..
Fortunately we don't go through these trials and tribulations on our own .
God is always there and helps us all heal ands get stronger through everything we go through before we reach our real home one day.
That day will be a very great day I personally look forward to:).

Its very good of you to post this thread. I wish I could do a whole lot for every problem people have as well.

I'm very glad God is here for us all.

[NekoChan_C]

you know what... me too. God is Good!

[Htom Sirveaux]

You know . . . and please understand, I'm not joking here - in all seriousness . . . it seems like the simplest answer is "because we're otaku." I can't say I'm terribly depressed myself, though I have an issue or two that are certainly getting me down, but it really does seem like to be an otaku you have to be sad, jaded, mopey, self-defeated and generally miserable. I've really never understood why that is. Maybe it's something about the subculture that attracts people like us and brings us together.