Just needing prayer

[Gabriel 9.0]

I can't take it any more.

I'm ready to just dissapear and have no one find me, or just kill my self and be done with it. I'm tired of being treated like i don't exsist or treated like a freak. All people seem to think about lately is themselves no one else. My dad in particular.

I called my house to check up on my mom, as i said i would, and my dad was there. Well he answered the phone, and started yelling at me because i apparently never told him i was going to michigan. Which i had, cause him and my mom had talked about letting me go. He kept complaining because nothing in the house was going to get done, if i didn't do it. And he was really really angry at me for leaving. so he put me in a bad mood. He also said in our conversation that I was the defiant child, and that i should have never been born. (story, my parents never wanted a child they did "it" and had me, and i was never meant to be) So I ended up getting really mad and hanging up on him, and leaving my aunts house and walking around the town on a badly sprained ankle (went on moolight hike, twisted it in a hole, and something snapped) so yeah, not my best of days.

Please pray that my dad gets over what ever his problem is. He always says stuff like that. and it really hurts. I feel like just walking to the lake that isn't far from here, and jumping in and never resurfacing.

I've had those feelings before on just ending it all.Its not worth it. The Lord will help you overcome this. I'll be praying for you:thumb:

[Kunoichi]

Sis

what your dad is saying to you is wrong..ok? I don't care what anyone else thinks but to say that to his child is wrong. Do not let him control your life and do not let him end it either. Remember God is with you. I know its hard cuz you can't "See" or "feel" him but he is and he doesn't want you to end your life sis. Neither do I!

*hugs PM if you need to talk k?

[Prince Asbel]

No wonder... I see. Listen, you're no freak. If you feel like suicide, do what you did last time. Just throw it away (or in this case, don't even go near the lake). Your Dad may just be stressed out that your sister is dead. Also think of what your death would mean for your sister's kids!

Again, seek out help in the real world. You might also considering revealing your general location (state, province) in case other members here might live nearby. You might get lucky and make a good friend that you can confide in and have for company like you have here.

As always, you're always in my prayers. And believe me, I'll be checking this thread as often as I can. Don't kill yourself.

[chelle0227]

okay I'm a little happier.

I got home around 10:00 this morning, after a flight that left marquette around 1:00 this morning, then it landing in detriot around 3:00 and then a 4 hour wait at the air port. then left there for my home airport. I'm exhausted considering i haven't had much sleep, but I'll live for now.

Thank you for the prayers, nothing major has happened lately, except my dad being the same way he was in my last message but i really can't care right now.

Okay well I'm heading for a nap, I'll keep you all updated, thanks for the prayers.

[Prince Asbel]

Sings lullaby to dancergirl*

Too loud? Sorry. Nice to hear from you again!

[Kamille]

You're definitely in my prayers.

God doesn't make mistakes. "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28) - which also includes stuff that we might deem as a "mistake". I know that I for one am happy that you were born and I'm sad to see you in so much pain. Even though I don't know you personally, I know you are valuable to God, so I value you a lot.

I used to constantly tell myself that my existence was a mistake, and it almost cost me my life. So whatever you do don't listen to such a hate-filled message. It just sounds like something the evil one would tell you. (I'm not saying your dad is evil, just what he said is)

[chelle0227]

not doing so great. Lately I have been wanting to end my life because I'm really sick of people only caring about themselves and what they want. I talk to my boyfriend when ever i feel suicidal, and he helps me, but he says i scare him when i get like that. He doesn't want to see me hurt myself, and possibly end up killing myself. It makes me sad that i scare him like that.

My dad just adds to my stressful life, he says things that hurt and sometimes they send me into wanting to die. He says stuff like "your not worth life." "we should have never had you." and stuff that really hurts, and sometimes it makes me want to just kill myself, then he could be happy. Then he wouldn't have to deal with me, and I could stop screwing up people's lives, and making people unhappy. It would all be for the best.

[SailorDove]

Dear Jesus,

We agree in prayer for Dancer and her family. Please heal their minds, bodies and hearts and fill them with the Love of your Holy Spirit. May Love, Patience, Understanding and Peace replace the bitterness, betrayal, guilt and anger from their past sins that have been dominating their actions.

Please break the chains of this self destruction and help Dancer bring glory to you in helping to bring herself and her family closer to you God.

In Jesus's Name we pray,
Amen

[12praiseGOD]

Definetly praying!
sending you a virtual hug

GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP UP HOPE!!!

[Prince Asbel]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a mean father. My Dad has never been cruel to me before, I don't know what I would do if he treated me like that. I pray God will change your Dad so that he will treat you right.

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

[font="palatino Linotype"]*hugs Mi-chan very tightly*

Girl, I'm so sorry.
I'll pray as hard and fervent for you as I possibly can, okay??

Dear gosh, your Dad is a plain, out-and-out JERK.
I'll be praying....[/font]

[Sheenar]

not doing so great. Lately I have been wanting to end my life because I'm really sick of people only caring about themselves and what they want. I talk to my boyfriend when ever i feel suicidal, and he helps me, but he says i scare him when i get like that. He doesn't want to see me hurt myself, and possibly end up killing myself. It makes me sad that i scare him like that.

My dad just adds to my stressful life, he says things that hurt and sometimes they send me into wanting to die. He says stuff like "your not worth life." "we should have never had you." and stuff that really hurts, and sometimes it makes me want to just kill myself, then he could be happy. Then he wouldn't have to deal with me, and I could stop screwing up people's lives, and making people unhappy. It would all be for the best.

I understand how it feels for someone you love and respect to say things like this to you. My mom would say these things a lot.
But remember that these are lies --they are not true. You are worth so much to God --your worth was shown at the Cross --if you didn't have worth, why did Christ die to do away with your sin?
I know it's hard (and I still struggle with trying to validate myself in what other people say and do), but memorize Scripture --and combat these lies with Truth --God's truth --who and what He says you are --not what your father says.
Coming from the other side of a situation much like yours, yes it is very hard living with a person like that --like nothing you do makes them happy even though you try as hard as you can. But I've learned that you won't make such a person happy --all you can do is pray for them and pray God changes their heart. I pray that God changes your father's heart.
Don't give up. There is hope, always hope. God can take even this situation and cause good to come out of it.
I know He has in my life. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me anytime. I would love to pray with you.

[chelle0227]

Okay, I'm not sure if this is improving but, I'll exlain what is going on right now.

Because me and my dad can't seem to get along, my god mother asked me if I wanted to come live with her during the week and then on fridays i go back to my regular home for the weekend. And it has helped i haven't had to deal with his crap for the past few days. But i feel totally seperated. But im dealing.

Thanks for the prayers, and advice, I'm trying.

[Prince Asbel]

Thanks for updating us.

[Kunoichi]

Hey sis,

sorry i missed this post ><

Sister, I want to say a few things and well I speak it in love

1. I know that your dad is hurting you emotionally. There really is nothing you can do to stop what he is saying. He must not know Jesus even if he claims he does because his fruits are not that of Jesus. Satan is using him to get to you sister. Satan is his father right now. But your father is God and he is stronger. So rest assured that you are no accident and you are loved deeply.

2. I know this is easier said than done but do not allow yourself to be distracted from your passion and heart that God has given you. People are going to say whatever they are going to say. If Satan is their father than it might not always be pleasant. However, you do not have to let it affect you because God is with you and he is greater. You are at a prime time to do things for the Lord. Pursue your passion and love God.

*hugs we are always here for you sis

God bless

[Kamille]

Still praying for you.

[Kunoichi]

Michelle,

I know its hard too..I mean saying simply "Be happy" and "snap out of it" doesn't work. I understand how you really want to be happy and sometimes you simply can't. This is difficult I know. But God will give you the strength to overcome it more than you can imagine if you simply ask ^_^

God bless sis

[chelle0227]

I am happier at times, not all the time.

I'm a little annoyed today because I feel like I'm abandoned by a few people. No one ever really invites me along, unless im there when they are talking about it. It's like im invisible at times, until im needed then im visible. It's like do you want me there or do you want me to leave. can't have both so take your pick.

I don't know how i feel at the moment confused, and angry right now.
thanks for the prayers and advice, im trying to be happy, not like it works all the time

[USSRGirl]

Just wanted to let ya know I'm still praying for you, girl. Reading over your prayer request updates, it sounds like things have really been rough for you. I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with all this at once, but know that God is in control. Every trial is only passing and temporary - He'll get you through this.

Also, while I'm in no way excusing your dad for treating you the way he has been, it might help you personally to understand that he may simply be reacting to stress/pain/problems of his own in a poor way and so taking them out on you. If I understood you correctly, your family suffered a terrible tragedy and he's lost his other daughter recently. It's really common for people who are dealing with pain to react by pushing away those closest to them. I'm guessing this is at least a large factor in your dad's behavior, and as such don't take what he says personally or hold it against him. Just let them roll over as angry, weightless words and don't let it affect you personally or let them devastate your relationship with your parents.

[chelle0227]

Okay, right now I've slipped back.

I can't take it any more. Everytime I try and do something it always turns out wrong. No matter what i do, it's wrong. I can't stand it any more. I can't stand my dad either. For several reasons that i don't care to get into. I would like some prayer. it would be very helpful. Thanks.

[Prince Asbel]

You know, you're ALWAYS in my prayers, dancergirl. I wish there was more I could do, but I'm always praying.

[MangArtist]

Man, I very sorry about all that's been happening to you! I've recently been fighting off depression, too. Not a lot, but still depression.
A couple years back I, too, was wondering if the world would be a little better if I was gone. It wasn't to the extreme, though. But God and encouragement from others made those thoughts go away. To tell the truth, they(besides God obviously) didn't know about it though. This is my first time bringing it up. Ever.

I will be praying for you sister!

[hxckid]

i am so sorry for you. it seems as though nothing is going right now and let me tell you i have been there. i have been suicidal before. but there is always a hope for you and the is jesus christ. he will never abandon you or hurt you. everything happens for a reason and he put you on this earth to accomplish something.

stay in prayr because i belief this is a trial for you and that in the end this will make you so much stronger and have such a better faith in God.

His love is unending and when you fell alone he will always be over your shoulder.

I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYRS. PLEASE STAY STRONG BECAUSE THIS IS NOT FOR EVER

Love~Ryan

[Kamille]

but there is always a hope for you and the is jesus christ. he will never abandon you or hurt you. everything happens for a reason and he put you on this earth to accomplish something.

Yes, I most certainly agree - and you are always in my prayers. Read the second verse in my sig. Submit yourself to God. He is pushing you through this and He will bring you out of this stronger than ever before. He is the only One who will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6, Deuteronomy 31:8, Joshua 1:5). This is His promise, which is aimed at all who believe in Him, and He is Truth.

[sango_gal0516]

Mite if you've been feeling so bad then why won't you talk to me or Kay about it? I'm sure one of would at least help a little. Pls, talk to us.

[Kamille]

Still praying for you.