It all seems so futile right now...

[ChristianKitsune]

(Beware, Long Post)

Argh.. I don't know how much more that I can take...

Okay, guys...I'm seriously at my wit's end here... For a long time my little sister and I have been dealing with fighting, a lot. It's so stupid how much we argue, how much we end up yelling at each other.

I've posted threads like this before, but it seems like I will go to God about it, things get better on my end, but stay the same on hers. And then, the little stability that I have emotions wise just melts away and we are back to square one again- fighting and yelling and stressing my family out.

It's so stupid that I let my 11 year old little sister get to me. But I can't help it. She's so spoiled and I can't figure out how to love her like I KNOW I'M CALLED TO.

It's horrible, because I know what I am supposed to do, but for some reason, my emotions just get the best of me... I'm very short tempered with her because I've been dealing with her bad attitude for years.

She thinks that the entire world should bow down to her, she does things without asking or thinking. And if I try to point these out to her, she blows up at me, and my parents tell me to stop trying to "boss her around."

But sometimes my parents AREN'T around when she does things, and I HAVE to tell her things.

Recently she tried to eat a bowl of ice cream for breakfast, (for example) and I said "That's not what you eat for breakfast...it's not good for you." and she just said "MEANIE!" and stormed off. O_o

I know sometimes I can be too bossy, but I just don't want her to be like me. I guess.

I dunno, I'm rambling.... I want to be a better sister. but the funny thing is I keep saying that...and nothing ever changes.

Things don't happen overnight I realize that. But she's actually told me that I need to move out... and that my mom thinks that too. (which my mom said she never said...)

I know right now that moving out is not an option for me... I couldn't afford it. Next year I'm going to a different school...but I just don't know if I can deal with her for another year! I don't know if my family can...

It's killing me spiritually, because I know who I need to be...but I can't be that person right now... I can't draw, I can't focus...my family is breaking apart and it's all my fault...

[Prince Asbel]

I think I understand a little bit. My youngest sister is a bit spoiled, and my Mom is rather overprotective of her. I think the responsibility for this problem lies in your parents hands. Spoiling a child can develop a dislike for that child in other people even during the periods that that child behaves normally. So you have to express to your parents that "Hey, you're spoiling her, and I'm suffering spiritual and emotional pain because of it. I need your help to fix it."

You'll be in my prayers, okay? God bless.

[Sparx00]

I don't think it's your fault Kit-chan. Have you ever tryed to let your parents deal with it before? They might be able to see whats going on if you let them see for theirselfs. Because if they see whats going on, they'll most likely do something about it. Your room is the only place that you have to really protect from her. (keep in mind that I'm not saying to stop protecting your sister all together, but simply giving you advice on your trouble.) If she won't listen to you, then maybe she'll listen to mom and dad. If your parents say it's your fault that she is doing all these things, try to explane to them what you're doing by letting them see what all she does. I think that could work because I was alot like your sis. But I get along with my bros alot better now. We hardly ever fight, and what little scawbles we have, I end right there by changing the subject into a memory. (funny ones work best because they make them forget about their anger. You know what they say, "Laughter is the best medicine.") Oh, and if you do get in a fight, don't let it get to you. Just ignor what it is that she's telling you off about. But make sure that she doesn't do something stupid. ok?

In a nut shell...
#1 Make sure she doesn't do anything dangerous but at the same time, make sure that mom and dad are watching what she's doing, like eating icecream for breackfast.

#2 Try to avoid fights AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! If you do begin to get in a fight, quickly think of a way that you can escape without shouting, and cursing, exs and take it. Stop the fight before it gets out of hand.

#3 Tell your parents whats going on. preferably before you take action. Let them she what she does. If she doesn't do those things while they're watching, She will A: Stop doing them all together. Or, B: Keep doing them after they stop watching. If B happens, then set up cameras, or higher a nanny.

Thats it in a nutshell.

(I hope that I didn't offend you in any way, But it was pretty hecktic with my family too so I know how you feel. ^^; )

I would try putting mind and Prince Asbel's ideas together, But it's all your chose. Do whatever seems best to you.


You'll be in my prayers.

[eternalprincess]

*hugs Kit-chan tightly*

I know the feeling, I struggle with this too. I have five younger siblings and have these problems all the time.

I find that spending time with God and walking are great ways to help me think and better the situations. There is nothing like being out in God's nature and beauty.

Try doing stuff for her or with her that she doesn't expect you to do, adding the extra kindness is always a good start. For example, my younger sister thought that there was something wrong with me when I told her she could give me a makeover. (She LOVES giving makeovers, but I never used let her.) Although I always end up looking like a clown or something by the time she finishes , me and her have a stronger relationship now. Going the extra mile to take time out and spending it specially with her, talking, playing & etc. every week has been such a blessing for the both of us.

Just a suggestion for you.

Anywho, sorry for my rambling. I'm praying for you, Kit-chan. *hugs*

[chibiphonebooth]

awwww CK i'll totally be praying for you about this.

And it's not your fault at all. *Hug*

[Kunoichi]

*hugs hey sis,

i know what that fighting is like. I had an older sister who thought the world revolved around her.

I know that it is hard to see her as God see's her. Afterall, little sisters can be monsters and inhuman. But at the same time, I would suggest ignoring her rants.

Honestly, your parents may see it as no big deal or won't admit that she is spoiled. And since your little sis isn't a Christian, i would kill her (so to speak) with kindness. Obviously still correct her when she's not doing the right thing but also try talking to her, and try not to be short tempered with her. She may have a hard time since it sounds like your older, that she doesn't know how to relate to you

*hugs and its not your fault sis. Fights happen. Picture her as a kid than as your little sister. might help for when you want to be angry with her.

PM if you need to talk or vent k?

[Sheenar]

Hi Kitchan,
I'm sorry things are like this. But I want to let you know I'll be praying for you and your sister.
I'm afraid I don't have any advice to give--only child that I am.
But I am here if you ever need to talk. I also know that praying works wonderfully when I feel my anger start to rise--it causes it to go right down when I give the situation to God --and I often have to do it over and over.

*hugs* It's not your fault. Don't beat yourself up. God is still working with you and will be faithful to finish what He's started.

[Tsukuyomi]

It's not your fault Kit-chan o_o Little kids can be VERY frustrating o.o I may not have any younger siblings, but I do have nieces and nephews who are very much so like younger siblings. I wanna say try to keep your distance from her, but that can be taken the wrong way and you guys live in the same house o.o Have you tried talking to your parents about it? Tell them that she doesn't listen to you. If they don't want you bossing her around then tell them to tell her what to do and what not to do o.o

She's obviously not wanting to listen to you, so just let your parents know what's going on and maybe they can get through to her.

And of course I'll be praying for you ^^ You know how to reach me if you want to rant/vent ^^ I went through the same thing with my niece and now is with my nephew

[ChristianKitsune]

Thanks you guys, (sorry I wasn't able to reply I was at a concert yesterday)

Well, the problems are: "I've told my parents about this... a lot actually...and they actually blame me for it sometimes. And then they recend that comment later, only to bring it up again. Apparently I wasn't a little angel either when I was a kid.. but I don't remember being this hard to deal with.

She said she accepted Christ when she was around 9 I believe. ( she went forward, and prayed to Him and stuff...)

I feel it is my fault that she is this way, because I haven't been the example that God has called me to be. :/ I dunno how to explain it...but I also believe that my parents are a little responsible too.

But every time I talk to them they get angry with me and tell me to let them handle it, but nothing ever happens, nothing ever changes. She gives them crocodile tears and they relinquish whatever tiny punishment she had...

Anyways... thanks for your prayers you guys! I'll try some of the advice you have given me.

-Kitchan

(At least we survived a 12- hour car trip for the last two days without exploding, but only because I wasn't really around...)

[AJV]

Hey ChristianKitsune,
Me and my Mom at times feel like it's useless,hopeless,and a waste of time praying and dealing with family,friends,and etc.
It goes off and on.
Sometimes (or a lot) I'm like that and my Mom tells me that we have to and that our prayers do make a difference. And sometime it's the other way around.
Anyway, What I mean is... Don't Give Up!:thumb:

Also, maybe you should try to stay away from your sister (though I guess that's hard since you live in the same house as her,is it big?) and pray for her from a far.
I know it's very annoying to deal with family members who proclaim to be Christians and act like they're not, I know since I have a Grand Father and an Uncle like that.
You can preach and argue till your blue in the face and sometimes it doesn't change anything.Prayer is the best thing you can do for them.

I know how hard it can be to love people like that, when you fell like you want to kill them (maybe you don't,but I can feel like that quite a bit sadly) but we have to love them in Christ. Hate the sin,love the sinner.

Pray for your parents' eyes to be open to see how your sister is acting and what she's doing,and for them to discipline her.

I hope that helps.

I pray that you and your sister's relationship gets stronger in Christ.
Amen

[Prince Asbel]

You might not like hearing this, Kitsune. But this sounds like a problem that will only iron out over years. Little by little, step by step. It can be fixed, but considering your situation, it sounds like it will take a long time.

You're still in my prayers, though.

[Tsukuyomi]

As cruel as this may sound.. try ignoring her for a while o.o Let your parents know what you are doing first though ^^ Then, see what happens. See how things are when you're not there to tell her right and wrong or whatnot. Sometimes, you just have to let them learn on their own I guess o.o?

My nephew is kinda the same way right now. Pretty soon, I'm just gonna let others scold him (or whatever), because it's sure obvious that he doesn't being told nicely o.O

[Sheenar]

Your sister just needs to gain some maturity --which will take quite some time. Remember that she is still young and immature--she has to go through the growing phases of life. I'm sure I acted immaturely at that age. (I still do sometimes...)
Pray for her and try to show her love even when she's annoying as heck. That's all you can do. The rest is between her and God.