Suicidal Tendencies...

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

[font="Palatino Linotype"]Umm.....I was wondering what you would do if a friend of yours had suicidal thoughts and whatnot.

One of my best girl-friends is very depressed right now.
She's contemplating killing herself, and I was wondering what I could do to help.

Any ideas...?[/font]

[animewarrior]

well if you have any what is bothering her than you should really try to talk to her about it... HOWEVER. DON'T push it...that just drives people off the cliff....and the main thing to do here is to PRAY for her. I shall pray as well... ttyl & God Bless

[Kunoichi]

I agree with Animewarrior...see if you can talk to her about it and pray for her. At the same time, i don't know. When i was serious about suicide i never talked to people about it, when i was just depressed, I did.

It is hard to say if it would be "right" to tell her parents as this is not something to take lightly....

[Radical Dreamer]

One good thing to suggest to her is that suicide is a permanent solution to a problem that is only temporary. Try to remind her that life goes far beyond high school (I'm assuming she's still in high school), and dying right now means she'll miss out on everything after. Additionally, tell her parents or someone that has a lot of influence in her life, because they should probably get help for her from a counselor or doctor.

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

[font="palatino Linotype"]...Okay, I'll do that.

Thanks a lot, guys...
[/font]

[LadyRushia]

If if you're not sure whether she's serious, tell someone anyway. It's better to have a friend who's alive and **** off at you for a bit than one who's dead.

Something you could do is tell her that her death will make a very large impact in other people's lives. Even after our bodies die we continue to exist in the form of memories of the people who know us.

[AsianBlossom]

Yeah, definitely tell some people that can help, like her parents, a pastor, a priest, a counselor, you know, those types of people. I once went to a hang-out night at the youth center at our church, and this one girl I had been talking to told me that she was on the verge of suicide. I told my mom about it, who told me to call the youth director. She then got in touch with her family and they began counseling.

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

[font="palatino Linotype"]...would this be a bad time to say that the "friend" of mine is myself...?

((My parents convinced me to ask for prayer for myself here, and not put it off as a friend.))[/font]

[bakura_fan]

nope. not at all. Will be praying. I wrote a poem a few days ago, during a suicidal time. I get depressed a lot. When I go home, i'll see if i can find it. It's not really anything great...just what I was feeling at the time. Something like "Afraid of life, afraid of death. Not ready to live, not ready to die. *goes on for a few more sentences ending with me stating that I feel caught inbetween (life and death). What I tend to do when I'm depressed (since most of my depression is at night), I tell myself I will sleep on it (the decision),then before bed I ask for His peace. Typically I will feel better in the morning, or something positive will happen that will make me feel better.

edit: I'm glad your parents are encouraging you. when I was dating my first boyfriend, I was really suicidal...he told his parents, who told my parents, who said that I would never do such a thing and didn't believe it....yeah...that was fun. Never talked to me about it or anything.

[Azier the Swordsman]

There was a time not so long ago (though it feels like forever now) when I was severely depressed and didn't even feel like I wanted to live anymore.

Know what happened?

The things that concerned me no longer matter anymore. I grew from them. Became stronger.

And now, after all the hardships, life is starting to kick up a few notches.

My point? Even though I never actually came close to considering suicide, it would have really sucked had I missed out on the things that were coming, the great things that I had no clue were just around the corner.

Second, depression is a mind set. You can either let it dominate you or you can dominate it. Most people have no clue just how much control the subconcious part of our brains have over our entire lives, the way we feel, the way we do things, why we do things the way we do.

Think of it as a computer. And at this point, maybe all hell is breaking loose, and all we're programming into our computer is, "ZOMG THERE'S NO WAY OUT I'M SCREWED THIS IS NOT HOW I WANT MY LIFE TO BE I MESSED UP I DON'T SEE HOW THERE CAN BE ANY HOPE IN THE FUTURE" ect.

And if we allow ourselves to keep feeding ourselves this type of negative mindset, it will eventually ruin us.

We have to change our thought patterns if we want to change the way we feel. To cure my depression, I took each one of my "problems" and assessed them logically. I found out that...

Some of them weren't going to matter one year from then.

Some of them were fixable.

Some of them could be resolved, maybe not easily, but steps could be taken.

Some of them could not be fixed. For these, I made a choice not to spend time worrying about them since there was nothing I could do anyways.

If I couldn't fix it, or it wasn't going to matter later on, I didn't think about it. If something could be done to change my circumstances, I did whatever it took.

I started getting closer with God and praying more.

Then, I started damaging the negative mindset as much as possible. I started telling myself things everyday, things that I didn't necessarily believe or want to believe at the time, stuff like, "I'm a good person and God has great plans for my life. These problems and circumstances don't matter and I'm going to overcome them and be very successful someday." I told myself these things on a regular basis, even writing them down, read motivational books, began taking up new hobbies to get my mind off my problems, began assessing my life seriously and making plans and goals and writing them down and working towards them.

Now, where I was once depressed and melancholy and temperamental on an everyday basis (and I reiterate once again that this was not actually that long ago), I love life. I really freaking love it. Even on the days I fail, or don't manage to accomplish anything, or plans fall through, I still freaking love it all the same. It's become more of a game to me now, the trials are no longer struggles, but challenges to tackle and face. All because I made a desperate decision to stop having a personal pity party and determined to enjoy myself no matter what. And I took drastic steps to make it happen.

I'm not sure if any of this is helpful in any way as I really have no clue as to your own personal situation, so I'm kind of writing blindly here, but I hope I may have been helpful in some way. These are the things that worked for me, and that's all I can say about that.

God Bless.

[Tsukuyomi]

Please think of what it would do to the ones around you.. alright? Like RD said, there's life after high school.. and even beyond that Whatever is going on now.. whatever problems will work out ^__^ Just, hang in there and don't lose hope Whatever is going on.. just find comfort in all those around you, because you know they have your back

Of course, you know you have my prayers ^____^

[Sheenar]

I went through a time like this myself a couple of years ago. I almost did kill myself (but praise God He intervened and stopped me!).
Since then, I've had ups and downs, but I have grown in my walk so much and God is using even that very dark time of my life to do good things. And He can use your situation too.

Remember that suicide is something you can only do once. Remember that God does have a plan for your life, that He is good, and that He does love you.

Please tell your parents and go see a counselor. I was in counseling for over a year and it helped tremendously (try to find a Christian counselor who will counsel you from a Biblical worldview).
You can read my testimony on the Testimonies & Spiritual Growth thread if you would like to know more about how God has worked in my life.

Know that there are many people who love you and would be very, very sad if you were gone. As long as you're alive, there is hope --because nothing is impossible with God.

I pray God's peace for you and for His protection from these thoughts. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me.

[Prince Asbel]

You're in my prayers. I think Azier the Swordsman has good advice (even if I never went through this myself), and you should probably follow it. Oh, and let others in the real world know about it. There's nothing more tragic about suicides than that the person who died never told someone about it and they let themselves fall into ultimate despair.

[GeneD]

I'm praying for you, Hana-chan!

I think trying to rationally evaluate your problems like Azier said is a good idea, even if it's difficult. Talking about them will also help this process.

One good thing to suggest to her is that suicide is a permanent solution to a problem that is only temporary. Try to remind her that life goes far beyond high school (I'm assuming she's still in high school), and dying right now means she'll miss out on everything after.

Quoted for truth! I can't guarantee that your life ahead will be all smooth sailing, but I'm sure the Lord has some wonderful things planned that He's just waiting to share with you!

Also, know that I'm always here if you want to chat, despite atrocious time zone differences.

Love you lots!

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

[font="palatino Linotype"]....Yeah...I guess.
Possibly, I don't know.

*hugs everyone who posted*
I love you too, Gene-chan. I hope that I can take you up on that offer...[/font]

[Yahshua]

Well speaking through personal experience of recently survive through some suicidal thoughts what keep me alive is people's prayers and encouragement that I received here and there and fellow CAA brothers and sisters. And if you need you are always welcome to talks to me Hana.

[Wind]

I wuv u sissy I am always here for u ok...

[Sparx00]

Aw man! I can't believe I missed this tread! I'm praying for you Hana-chan! IF you need anything, shoot me a PM ok?

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

[font="palatino Linotype"]Thanks Dan-kun, Naomi-chan, and Pillow-kun.
*hugs all three*

I will, Pillow-kun, don't worry. If something happens, I will...[/font]

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

[font="palatino Linotype"]Double-Post, I know...

I just...really need prayer right now.
It's not...

I can't believe anymore, and it's getting overwhelming now.
Just...please. Please. I need all the help I can get.
I feel like I can't call out to Him anymore, because I think it's just bouncing off of a brick wall.
I'm entertaining it more and more these days.
Just--I don't mind if you actually don't, but at least...tell me that you are, so I can have some kind of hope about something...please...[/font]

[Sheenar]

I'm still praying for you Hana...

[Prince Asbel]

Don't give up, Hana. I've been praying and will be praying that you overcome this suicidal depression and that you would receive courage and strength.

Remember, you should really tell someone in the real world about this if you haven't already. I know if I had a friend contemplating suicide, I would do everything I could to help them.

[sstohru]

You have my prayers too. Hang on to God, and don't let go. You're in my prayers.

[Pinecone Tortoi]

I don't stop by these forums much, but please know I'll be praying for you. Know too that feelings are deceptive - if the way you feel doesn't match up with God's word, drop it (and yes, I don't know that's so much easier said than done... but it's doesn't have to be you that does it - ask God for His help).

Also ask God for His peace and try to focus on what He says is to come, not what's going on now. It took me a long time to realise that what I needed wasn't so much for the problems to drop away but for my worry about them to drop away. When I went up for prayer after the services at church, people kept praying for God's peace for me... I was like "thanks... but what I really need prayed is that these problems will be all fixed up asap". It took several weeks, but I eventually started to get the picture that even WITH those problems hanging around, I could be peaceful and have joy.

I know what it's like to feel a long life ahead is a horrible thing to face. Keep living it, though. We don't have the right to end our lives - where and when we die is up to God, not us.

Like I said, I'll be praying for you.

Piney.

[GeneD]

I'm definately still praying for you Hana-chan. I'm so sorry this aren't going well. Please try to hold on to God, even if everything is feeling like it's not worth it.

I pray that the Lord fills you with courage and joy, even in this very dark time.

Love you!

[Kamille]

Then, I started damaging the negative mindset as much as possible. I started telling myself things everyday, things that I didn't necessarily believe or want to believe at the time, stuff like, "I'm a good person and God has great plans for my life. These problems and circumstances don't matter and I'm going to overcome them and be very successful someday." I told myself these things on a regular basis, even writing them down, read motivational books, began taking up new hobbies to get my mind off my problems, began assessing my life seriously and making plans and goals and writing them down and working towards them.

I believe in this strategy strongly. This is why there are several scriptures telling us to meditate on the Word day and night. God knows how our minds work because He made them. What you think and what you behold is who you will be. I know this. I was depressed for 12 years (from middle school until a three years after college) and I was suicidal for 4 of those years. Please believe me when I say you must be transformed by the renewing of your mind (read Romans 12:2).

I'm praying for you. It greatly saddens me to see someone in so much pain. If I could I'd be with you 24 hours a day, but I'm glad God is.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
- John 14:27

I love you very much, but only because God is with me and He loved you first.

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

[font="palatino Linotype"]Well, I guess it's time for a checkup, ne?

I have been going to spiritual therapy for a few weeks now, and it's helping me some. (Thanks goodness)

I tend to have MAJOR waves of extreme depression, usually at nighttime.
I've felt myself become more unsocial, even though I try to surround myself with my friends in RL.
I've even had people comment on it to my face. ^_^

Ms. Janet (my therapist) seems to think it's because I'm a complete perfectionist and that I have complete lack of self-worth.

So, please pray that I can see myself as someone who should exist...
[/font]

[Althaia]

i am praying for you hana if you need anything pm or im me kay

[SailorDove]

*hangs head*

How could I not see this thread til now!!!

Dear Jesus,

We all agree together in prayer for our little sis, Hana-chan. Please continue to help her through this storm and heal her heart. May your will be done in our lives not our own.

In your name we pray,
Amen

[Sparx00]

Praying Hana-chan.