Crisis of the faith, depression, and suicidal thought

[Haruhiko]

Hey, man. I'll definitely keep you in my prayers. I'm going through a lot of stuff like this as well, such as doubt, but nothing like this.

Hang in there, brother. You'll be out soon enough.

[Yahshua]

At time like this I feel abandon by God and tempted by Satan and those whom are around me have contempt toward me and everything in my life feel like a prison and sometimes I just can't take it anymore.

[SailorDove]

I hear what you're saying and understand. Tired of being trapped, powerless, helpless and weary. Words of comfort spoken however sincerely tend to feel cliche &/or hollow.

But somehow in ways we don't expect He gives us hope, courage and truth. I'm not wise, well learned or well versed in scripture. But lately, I've been thinking about being trapped in the den with the lions & the Peace that surpasses understanding.

That Peace isn't a false hope or denial of what's really happening. I don't know the answer cause I'm still trying to figure it out.

[Kunoichi]

*hugs

...i have no words of comfort my friend, I can only weep with you in your sorrow..and yet I know that God is there...even as I too weep for my own sorrows. Brother, I am with you.

[Yahshua]

Ah life for me still is full of trials and temptation from Satan daily I try to fight the temptation of going drown my sorrow with watching Porn. Still I still prays every day still feel that my words seen to be hollow. I don't feel the love of God anymore then I used to and not so much peace in me either. Just like the soldier from the Bad voodoo company say why bother to prays anymore when things are not changing for the good. As for the suicide thing I am still in the pre-planning stage of thing.

[Kunoichi]

Hey brother,

you say why pray if it does no good. I understand that but at the same time, do you only trust in our God when things are easy for you? Of course you don't. You trust him when things in this life are hard and painful. Why? Because His life was hard and painful.

Feelings are overrated. Who said you had to feel to know God's love. I know for many years I was numb to love. Sometimes I still am. But I know that God is there because he has always showed himself to be there. Whether it is in the clouds, in a friends words, in the pain whatever.

Dan,

you pray without ceasing and yet you must learn my brother that your prayers are heard. Do you not think that the Lord God weeps over your pain and bangs his chest at your sorrow? do you think he enjoys it? If you do my dear brother, than you are a fool for listening to lies. Our God himself has spoken to you, ransomed you, loved you and you know this. Without a doubt you know this. And yet you rant and fight against him. Why? Because you are human and when life is hard, it is easier to run than to fight.

My brother, my dear dear brother

you are loved more than you ever know. Do not lose heart. Do not be discouraged. If the Son of Man suffered poverty, starvation, pain both physically and emotionally, rejection, cruxifiction. How much more are we meant to suffer? Our suffering in miniscule in comparison. Brother do not lose heart. Stay strong and whether you think you should or not, continue your crying out to the Lord. And listen, not with your feelings, your emotions or your head. Listen with your soul and the Lord will speak.

You know where to reach me. Love you brother

Kelly

[Blitzkrieg1701]

I wish I had something as elegant to say as everyone else who has posted here, but it looks like everyone else has already done that better than I ever could. So, I'll just be plain and simple: God loves you, whether you know it or not. Between this world, other people, the wiles of the enemy, and just our own fallible selves, it's easy for us to forget that or grow numb to it or think something else is bigger, but just because it feels that way doesn't mean it is. Feelings are as deceptive as they are powerful, yet they are also fleeting.

[Kamille]

Still praying for you - always.

Listen to your friends on this site. You are loved by so many people. And this love comes from God.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."
- 1 John 4:7

I pray that this situation will actually strengthen you by helping you to minister to your friends as they have ministered to you. I listened to a sermon on that topic last week. Perhaps someday a friend of yours will be in real danger and you may be the only person able to minister to him or her. This situation that God is currently pushing you through could make the difference between life and death in another person's life. It is possible that He is making sure you are ready for that day.

[Sparx00]

Hey Dan, I found a book that might help you with your prob. Now, if you're wondering why God isn't replying to your prays, I highly sugest this book. Click here to see the book.

I'm still praying for you, even if you're troubles are over.
-Sparx

[Wind]

I have been where you are... but continue to rely on God as I know u do and HE will see you through... God loves you and always will

[termyt]

John 9:1-3

As he passed by he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
Jesus answered, "Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him.

The whole chapter is one of my favorites, but here is begins with a man who has suffered his entire life for no other reason than to bring glory to God. We don't know how old he was - simply that he had been blind from birth and that he had reached adulthood (at least 13), but he lived in blindness his whole life - and the only job a blind man could do in the first century was beg for the kindness of strangers.

The chapter ends with Jesus saying to the Pharisees, "If you were blind, you would have no sin; but now you are saying, 'We see,' so your sin remains."

What are you looking for? Your doubts are nothing but a trick being played upon you by Satan and your own human desires. Do not be deceived.

[Yahshua]

I guess I should update all on my situation right now and how I feel. Eh I feel that currently eh I began to hate both God and Satan. And daily I have been in constant attack by the Satan and he has tempted me much to fall. As for God He isn't talking to me either. I feel as if that both God and Satan are playing a game to see which one of them can drive me fast to my grave in suicide. And lately it seen that I can not find rest in my soul either at home or in my faith. I feel as if God is playing donkey and the carrot games with me. And lately my family and silbings disrespect me and never asking how am I. And people which I need help with abandoning me. And the subtitle of my life has been in this point as "Loser Dan" the Guy that always in the loser ends of the street always in need but not able to fulfill. Even when people talked about the love of God toward them to me as in my life now I can't even feel it no more. I have no rest no peace no joy and don't feel love at all. And I can understand that some of you might say this is just for a season that the things will change for the better however at this stage of where I am I can't actually seeing it to be true. Grant that Christ our Lord did dies for us and take away our sins but I am not like a brat or something what I need is that God provide me a way a true way and not take the carpet out of my feet. And I always in need but never able to fulfill my needs eh overall when I think of my life at this moment it bring me frustration and grief and sorrow. And every day it has been hard to wake up in the morning and knowing nothing has change for the good. It is like I am wounded in the field of spiritual battlefield but no one would comes to saves me. In health eh lately I had headaches and low of energy and sometimes my hands would shake violently involuntary Anyhow thanks for the encouragement and prayer all.

[Kunoichi]

Dan,

I want to both slap you and kiss you!

Brother, I can not tell you when these times will end. Lord knows, my own battle in hell.

Dan.....if I could fly out to see you, I would this instant. (Don't know how but I would). You are like Job my brother. I did not realize that this is the suffereing that you would have to go through that the Lord God spoke of that night. Oh brother, how I wish that wasn't true. I...I am so sorry. I am in sorrow that it came from my own lips.

Brother he has a message of encouragement for you once more. PM me, I want you to call me ok? Please

[Kamille]

Still praying for you. And the wild thing is - if someone as small and fragile as me is not willing to give up on you, think of what God Almighty feels about you.

Would you mind listening to sermon on podcast? Typically I wouldn't ask this, but it is one of the most powerful words I have ever heard in my life:
http://media.podcastingmanager.com/38396-82356/Media/20080330kpic.mp3

I hope the link works, but if not go to http://www.ronlewisministriespodcasts.com/ and choose "Against All Odds P5 -- Understanding God's Most Perilous Purpose".

Keep close to the fellowship. Lean on your friends on CAA. It is a source of hope. It is a gift from our God. From experience, I know the difference between having dim hope and having no hope. My friend, I pray fervently to God that you are never without hope.

[Yahshua]

Thank you Kamille for the podcast message it might be the right message that I needed. But still continue to prays for me.

[Kurama]

Oh My! I will pray for you, :hugs:

I love you and I know God is helping you. Sometimes it just takes time, and sometimes these moments are like tests.

I love you and take care. :hugs:

[Kamille]

Thank you Kamille for the podcast message it might be the right message that I needed. But still continue to prays for me.

Any time man. I would say that you could PM me at anytime, but as it is now, I may only have time to reply every other day. But I'm still praying for you and I'll still read any messages you feel like sending. Let's love one another as Christ loves us (John 15:12).