Prayer for Divorce

[Telakyte]

Hi all. I'll admit I'm not a regular on CAA, and I've had alot of things going on to really prevent me from logging on.

Anyways, friends I really need prayer as right now I'm going through a divorce that is literally sucking the life out of me. I'm not here to talk down about my wife, or myself, as at this point is has no purpose; but I'm simply here to ask that all of you pray for me. It's one of the hardest things I've had to go through yet and while in some way it has been a means of bringing me closer to God, it has also given me a burden that is heavy. I've been praying to give that burden to God, yet sometimes it seems so hard.

I'd appreciate it. Thanks

[Mr. SmartyPants]

First off, is the divorce here absolutely necessary?

[ChristianKitsune]

Not really our place to know that MSP... ^^;

I'll definately pray, Telakyte!

[Doubleshadow]

I'll pray for the entire situation and everyone involved.

[Telakyte]

In my opinion Divorce is rarely necessary. I'll put it this way: I still object to the very thought of my divorce even though I filed. Despite the objection, it was necessary due to events that I will not mention. (Again I am trying to keep this as filtered as possible. It is not my place to present myself or her as right or wrong, we are simply in a very tragic position).

I think that's one of the reasons that the divorce is hard for me. Because I see the absurd nature of it, along with the practicality of it. It takes two fully willing hearts to work out differences. You cannot reconcile with a lack of forgiveness on both sides. You cannot ultimatum your marriage. I also understand that is not reason to forget past mistakes. It is a fine line between forgiveness and forgetfulness. The only one capable is Christ I think, since He is perfect has no need to fear of being taken advantage of. He can be wronged, and yes it hurts, but in the end we are the ones that pay for those wrongs, not Him. I truly believe that a marriage with Christ in the center is the only real option. I fully admit that He was not our center, and that in and of itself was an issue.

The reason why I am hesitant to discuss details, or anything else is mostly because there is no point. All I would do is give my version of events, and she would have her own. I believe that while I made mistakes, she has just as much responsibility. I'm sure her own version is opposite. In the end only God will decide who is right in the matter (with the way God thinks He would probably only decide there was no right, only wrong and that's why He is exists as Savior). Jesus Himself said it was due to stubborn nature that Divorce existed. So that should say alot about how divorce comes about. People unwilling to sacrifice pride. Humanity, the pride and fall eh?

Overall we both made mistakes. Hence why I still feel hurt as I am fully aware of those things that needed change.

I honestly believe that once divorce has become an actual option for either party, things deteriorate. That's not to say it always fails (life is never so black and white), but the work is much more difficult. The problem is that divorce turns from being something vile to something practical. It evolves into a sort of lever that can be used to control the offending party "Well you did this so I'm considering Divorce!" "Oh yeah? Well you did this, so I'M considering Divorce!" Once this has occurred, true repentance and reconciliation is hard to achieve. I think this is why Christianity is one of the hardest religions to follow. The concept of forgiving someone and not using their past as a means of vengeance or punishment is a very difficult thing without God Iesu. The amount of offenses against God and our own bodies is enough to ensure that we would deserve an everlasting hell.

Anyways, I digress.

I'm sorry for my part in the failure of the marriage, but I pray that I will not be overcome by my trial.

Also please forgive any ranting or rambling that may occur. I acknowledge that there is alot of passion about what is going on within me, and that sometimes bleeds out into writing or talking.

[Yahshua]

Eh my fellow brother Telakyte as a fellow child of God and been in a minister family I can see that divorce is not a good thing. However I am not going to beat you over the head with it. Instead I want to say is this my brother all things works for the good of His people. And sometimes the things happen for a reason beyond our current understanding. My hope and wish is that somehow the divorce will not come through that instead Father would able to save your family and restore anew. However if you fell that the marriage is over between you and her and the family can't stay together then I will prays for you my brother. Anyhow maybe with our graceful Father in Heaven maybe after the time away that you and your wife might have a second chance in your marriage life when the both of you submitted to the Father. Anyhow I know the trials is hard and tough so as someone has told me before just don't give up my fellow brother. And also final thing is to asking God for forgiveness and asking your wife to forgive you as well.

[Telakyte]

She has already refused the latter. Hence what makes it difficult. But again, things are what they are.

[RobinSena]

That's tough mate. I'll be praying for you.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

I'll be praying for God to bring wisdom and healing (for both of you)

[AsianBlossom]

That's sad...you're in my prayers.

(I'd say something about exceptions for annullments, but I'm not going any further than what should be allowed in here.)

[Fish and Chips]

Reading your posts, I can tell this is a subject that cuts deep. Society tends to view divorce as a convenient emergency exit; turning the tables, your own attitude towards the whole scenario is considerably more healthy. Your decision has been made, and I respect the maturity with which you made it; may God stand with you as you scramble back to the land of the living.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Gotcha. You two are certainly in my prayers.

[ShiroiHikari]

I won't get too deep into the topic of divorce, but I will say one thing-- contrary to what a lot of people think, divorce is not some unforgivable offense. I hope you don't beat yourself up for your decision-- sometimes drastic situations call for drastic actions. God can use even tragic events such as this to help you grow stronger and lead you down a better path than you were on.

Also, I hope that you two can forgive each other, even if you're not meant to share life together.

Oh yeah, and I commend you for not talking bad about your wife. It's so easy to do things like that.

[Telakyte]

Fish and Chips: Indeed it does cut deep. But you phrased it well. I am returning to the land of the living. I will tell you all truthfully a marriage that is not centered in Christ and amid unforgiveness is damaging to the soul. It will most definately wear you out.

Pants of Smartness: Definitely appreciate the prayers for both of us. I think right now she needs it even more urgently than I. Satan is using this experience as a means of distancing her even further from the faith. Pray that she meets Christian people who will encourage her, and that her own soul is healed.

ShiroiHikari: You are absolutely right. Perhaps my frustration comes from the fact that Divorce IS far too easy a tool to use in our day and age. Yes, financially it is spearing me in the chest, but material things can be overcome and replaced. Our society has created several generations that are obliged to think that life is supposed to be planned out, successful, and overall "good." When these fall short people just seem to shut down (myself included in the past)

Really though to everyone: God does have purpose in everything and Iesu has ensured that I find friends everywhere I go, from real life to the internet. All of these posts encourage me just because they remind me that others are out there that pray for me when my own prayers seem numb at points. Thank you all so very much.

I urgently ask that you pray for my wife. She needs it far more than I.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

The reason for my prior... "pessimism" towards the topic in the beginning because I wasn't sure if this type of divorce was something I ought to pray to occur.

Since you have explained your case, I have reason to believe that your reasons are legitimate. I hope everything works out for you two.

[Telakyte]

Just asking that again you lift me up in prayer. The past week has been a little harder than normal. Getting used to not having someone with you is a difficult transition. Satan attacks with alot of weapons it seems (thoughts, emotions, etc.).

[Kurama]

I shall most deffinetly pray for you! :hugs:

[Gabriel 9.0]

Praying for you.

[Telakyte]

Can a moderator delete this Thread? I forsee this being used for negative purposes as my screenname is searchable and this thread popped up in google.

Moderator anyone?