General Lust Prayer Thread (WARNING: Mature Content)

[roadoffew]

update on me lust wise.

well I'm still failing almost every night. the saddest thing happened last night though (well saddest for me at the moment).
Now I have two computers; a laptop and a PC. When I do decided to fail I go to my pc. I made a promise as soon as I got the laptop that I would never look up porn on it. Well because the tv in the living room went out I moved my laptop to my room to work and watch tv with the tv in my room.

Well last night I looked up porn. and midway through I realized that I was on my laptop, not my pc.
I continued on with the pc, but after I was done I felt sick to my stomach knowing that I had looked up porn on the laptop. I didn't realize I was, but no difference.

[Aleolus]

[quote="roadoffew (post: 1206122)"]update on me lust wise.

well I'm still failing almost every night. the saddest thing happened last night though (well saddest for me at the moment).
Now I have two computers]

I've been there, force of habit. You start doing something, without realizing you're doing it. Can be a massive pain, especially when it's a habit you're trying to get rid of.

[shiroineko]

I will be praying for all of you who are struggling with this issue...I've been there myself and I know people that are battling this. God has power over the devil and sin; just pray and have faith that He will deliver you out of it, He'll help you to overcome it! and if you can, try to limit your time spent on the internet...it got to the point where I just had to do that and to keep myself busy doing other things and hobbies that were focused on God so that my attention wasn't driven elsewhere.

[MangArtist]

Man, I'm really messing up. I had to stop myself just now. Could you guys pray for me?

[SailorDove]

Dear God,

Please help MangArtist fight this. "And protect us from evil"

In Jesus's name we pray.
Amen.

[Danderson]

U hav my prayers....

[MangArtist]

Thanks guys =\

[roadoffew]

I've shared my addiction with you guys a couple of times. i just hope that you all are ready for what I'm about to tell you, for my addiction has brought up an old habit.

I...Have...Again ...become addicted to lolicon.

I've never once thought of touching a child, never once thought of one sexually I saw on the street, I'm not a pedophile. But I'm addicted to lolicon. I don't know how this addiction got started but it's what I look up almost everyday now.

I love shows like Lucky Star, Azumagna Daioh, and Strawberry Mashmallow. I love the comedy and the cute/innocence of those shows. I don't watch them for sexual urges. I learned recently of one show that is like those but is much darker and darn close to being lolicon. I even went on the chat and mention how angry and disturbed I was at it. And yet I looked up the manga for "selfish" reasons.

so there is my story now. I hope that you will be forgiving and still talk with me after this. Keep me in your prayers. Thank you.

[K. Ayato]

*hugs* I'm your friend. I still love you.

[Sheenar]

Roadoffew, I definitely don't have any room to talk. We all have our own sins that we struggle with. So I definitely don't judge you. You're still welcome here.

[diton 13]

i need determenation a lot...i have been giving up lately i really need determenation.oh and i will pray for Roadoffew here.

[SnEptUne]

I've shared my addiction with you guys a couple of times. i just hope that you all are ready for what I'm about to tell you, for my addiction has brought up an old habit.

I...Have...Again ...become addicted to lolicon.

I've never once thought of touching a child, never once thought of one sexually I saw on the street, I'm not a pedophile. But I'm addicted to lolicon. I don't know how this addiction got started but it's what I look up almost everyday now.

I love shows like Lucky Star, Azumagna Daioh, and Strawberry Mashmallow. I love the comedy and the cute/innocence of those shows. I don't watch them for sexual urges. I learned recently of one show that is like those but is much darker and darn close to being lolicon. I even went on the chat and mention how angry and disturbed I was at it. And yet I looked up the manga for "selfish" reasons.

so there is my story now. I hope that you will be forgiving and still talk with me after this. Keep me in your prayers. Thank you.

Lolicon? Japanese sure came up with funny word.

But seriously, what is lolicon and where do you draw the line? A person who found little kid cute doesn't make him/her a lolicon, in fact, who wouldn't? I also love shows like Lucky Star and Azumanga Daioh, but not Strawberry because the casts are out of characters. However, am I a lolicon, or is it a social imposed stereotype?

I personally don't avoid anime or manga, I just don't watch anime/manga I cannot stand, which includes almost all hentai manga, or impure "lovesick" shoujo manga where protagonist would throw away reason and intelligence for "love"...

[SnEptUne]

I've shared my addiction with you guys a couple of times. i just hope that you all are ready for what I'm about to tell you, for my addiction has brought up an old habit.

I...Have...Again ...become addicted to lolicon.

I've never once thought of touching a child, never once thought of one sexually I saw on the street, I'm not a pedophile. But I'm addicted to lolicon. I don't know how this addiction got started but it's what I look up almost everyday now.

I love shows like Lucky Star, Azumagna Daioh, and Strawberry Mashmallow. I love the comedy and the cute/innocence of those shows. I don't watch them for sexual urges. I learned recently of one show that is like those but is much darker and darn close to being lolicon. I even went on the chat and mention how angry and disturbed I was at it. And yet I looked up the manga for "selfish" reasons.

so there is my story now. I hope that you will be forgiving and still talk with me after this. Keep me in your prayers. Thank you.

Lolicon? Japanese sure came up with funny word.

But seriously, what is lolicon and where do you draw the line? A person who found little kid cute doesn't make him/her a lolicon, in fact, who wouldn't? I also love shows like Lucky Star and Azumanga Daioh, but not Strawberry because the casts are out of characters. Is that lolicon, or is it a social imposed stereotype? Perhaps because you are male, watching little kids would make you lolicon? People certainly don't accuse female "otaku".

I personally don't avoid anime or manga, I just don't watch anime/manga I cannot stand, which includes almost all hentai manga, or impure "lovesick" shoujo manga where protagonist would throw away reason and intelligence for "love"...

[roadoffew]

Lolicon? Japanese sure came up with funny word.

But seriously, what is lolicon and where do you draw the line?

In Japan it means attraction to young girls or an individual with such an attraction. In America, and the definition I'm using, term is less common and most often refers to a genre of manga and anime wherein childlike female characters are depicted in an erotic manner.

where do you draw the line? well it's like this in my mind. Yotsuba is perfectly safe and far from the lolicon I'm talking about. Strawberry Marshmallow has slight nudity but in an innocent manner (funny bathhouse scenes) and not pushing it. Kodomo no Jikan (AND please don't look up anythign besides the wikipedia page on it.) is far beyond over the line.

[SnEptUne]

In Japan it means attraction to young girls or an individual with such an attraction. In America, and the definition I'm using, term is less common and most often refers to a genre of manga and anime wherein childlike female characters are depicted in an erotic manner.

where do you draw the line? well it's like this in my mind. Yotsuba is perfectly safe and far from the lolicon I'm talking about. Strawberry Marshmallow has slight nudity but in an innocent manner (funny bathhouse scenes) and not pushing it. Kodomo no Jikan (AND please don't look up anythign besides the wikipedia page on it.) is far beyond over the line.

Oh that one. I have seen the manga version of it (only the first few pages though), and I can't stand it either, just the way the characters, who seems superfical and shallow, talk has turned me off.

On the other hand, lolicon stands for Lolita Complex, which can be a theme of a literature, but hardly a genre.

[Htom Sirveaux]

I just have to praise God. I believe I've finally defeated my porn addiction. I've gone from not getting it anymore to wanting but depriving myself of it to realizing I don't want it anymore. I'm never, ever going back and you can hold me to that.

And roadoffew, I don't fault you there. Loli used to be my thing too.

[spoiler]
I was into girls of 18 to early 20s. it wasn't so much an attraction bordering on pedophilia, it was more of a Freudian thing- these were the girls who never would have given me a second glance when I was that age, let alone allow me to see them naked. Also, I just preferred them when their bodies were still "fresh," before 2 or 3 years in the business had them looking used-up and nasty before their time.[/spoiler] I was really disgusted with myself for it, but I couldn't stop. So I cut off my contacts as it were.
First by swearing off computer porn. As to how, there are just 2 things to keep in mind:

1. As I've stated before, it totally messes up your computer. Keep at it and I guarantee
you will see that Blue Screen Of Death sooner or later.

2. There is no way to sufficiently cover your tracks. And the harder you try, the more suspicious it looks.

It's just not worth it.
Second, I went to the store where I'd usually buy it and told them flat out "I'm gonna try and take some personal accountability, but if I should ever show weakness, I want you to refuse to sell it to me. And tell all the other people who work here the same thing."

These steps, combined with regular activity in this thread, serious prayer and meditation, and other activities such as watching anime, playing video games, reading books, playing guitar and listening to music with spiritually redeeming value (I highly recommend As Cities Burn); all of which kept me otherwise occupied.
Now, praise God, I'm porn-free. And I do mean free. It's been such a burden and I'm so grateful to have it off my back at last.
I will of course still be active in this thread to offer prayer, support, encouragement etc. I don't want to suddenly come across as some sort of high-and-mighty type, God knows I'm no leader. But if anyone wants to talk personally, don't hesitate to PM me. And don't hold back for feeling ashamed. The only way you can get through it is by facing the gritty details of the sin head-on. None of us can do it alone. Indeed I thank you all for being my support.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Praise God for what He's doing in your life, Spoony!

I wish I had a report as good as that, but things have NOT been good lately. Lust has been SEVERELY beating me up lately, to the point that it's really screwing up my everyday life. Wanna know why I've been on CAA so little the past few months? It's because I've literally been using up literally all my free computer time on porn. I can't tell you how frustrating this whole situation is getting. Please keep praying that god will grant me some victories here and break the cycle. I am soooooo sick of it...

And, roadoffew, I'm sorry to say that I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I wish I had some sage advice, but frankly I could use some just as much as you. Well, at least I'll be praying for you

Lord Jesus, thank You for saving us. Thank You that, in spite of the shame and guilt we've earned ourselves, You not only continued to love us but too all that shame and guilt upon Yourself so that we would no longer have to bear it. Thank You for allowing us to come before you to ask for help, and for granting us the body of fellow believers through which You minister to us. I thank You for my brothers and sisters here who have already been granted victory over these temptations and pray that you will continue to feed their passion for You above all other things. And I also pray for those of us who are still struggling with what seems like such an insurmountable foe. I pray that you will work mightily in each of our lives, that we will come to know the victory You've already won over these things.

[Htom Sirveaux]

Lust has been SEVERELY beating me up lately, to the point that it's really screwing up my everyday life. Wanna know why I've been on CAA so little the past few months? It's because I've literally been using up literally all my free computer time on porn. I can't tell you how frustrating this whole situation is getting. Please keep praying that god will grant me some victories here and break the cycle. I am soooooo sick of it...

Okay, you're at the point where it's driving you absolutely batcrap, you're disgusted with it, and you know it has to stop. This is a pivotal point. Obviously, knowing it has to stop and making it stop are different things. What you need to do now is focus on how much you need it to stop. When you are tempted, think ahead. Concentrate your thoughts on how it will leave you feeling when the rush it gives is over. Remember that it isn't worth it. Remember that you want so much more what God has to offer and that it will hurt so much to know you've let Him down again.
Remove yourself from the opportunity to gratify that temptation. Listen to some music, play a game, take a walk, visit or talk to a friend, anything that will completely shift your focus.
Limit your time on the computer, and visit CAA when you are on. And when you visit this thread (as I suggest you do whenever you're on this site), try to see it as more than just a place for commiseration and even just for moral support. Take it as a serious part of your journey towards quitting porn.
I don't know if you have a roommate, but if you do you can set up some sort of accountability system with him.
I hope some of these suggestions can help you. As I said before, I don't see myself as a leader or in any way superior to anyone. I just really want to help.

Lord God, I ask that you be in Blitz's heart and mind. I ask that you guide his eyes and thoughts as he enters this difficult phase. Help him to remember that embodied in You is every reason to overcome his addiction. Help him also to remember that his situation is far from hopeless and You are in control even when control slips from between his own fingers.
Your Love is amazing. Your Grace unflagging. You claimed every sin, even ours, and for this we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
In Your Name I pray.
Amen.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

You know, it's a really dangerous thing to ask God for something, because He lets you have it if you really want it or not. Yesterday I was right on the verge of giving in again, and to be honest, I really didn't care. So I just prayed that God would do something, ANYTHING to snap me out of the appathy that keeps leading to this sin. Well, later that night I did give in and started looking around for stuff, and... well, "anything" happened. Basically, I did something REALLY stupid and ended up spending the next four hours trying to get a whole mess of unfriendly foreign programs out of my computer. Between the fact I would never have left my poor computer that wide open under other circumstances, the fact that I still had The Bard's wise words on this VERY topic fresh in my mind, and my having just prayed to god to do whatever it took to snap me to attention... well, I'm kind of snapped to attention right now @___@

On the heels of that little episode, I'm a little (well, a LOT) more receptive to God's reminding me that it isn't worth it. That's all good advice up there too. I am going to be pursuing some accountability arrangements with my friends in the next couple of days. So yeah, thanks for the concern and, please, keep praying!

[mathgrant]

I'm going to overcome my shame and guilt and crap, and post here. =O

So, yeah. I used to be able to go without pawing (or M, if you're not a furry, or prefer single letters to words) for weeks at a time. Now I'm lucky to achieve this feat for a day. I dunno what's changed in me to make me less resistant to this urge. D=

I've been at a huge moral crossroads lately, trying to decide whether pawing is right or wrong to do. Some Christians believe pawing is lustful in and of itself, because it perverts the whole deal about sex involving two individuals, and is therefore disloyal to one's future spouse. Others believe the act was given to us by God to keep us away from adultery and fornication, and is to be encouraged. A CAA member asked me this thought-provoking question: am I doing it for God, or am I doing it out of selfishness? Under the former mindset, it is selfish to engage in anything remotely sexual (such as pawing) before marriage; under the latter mindset, pawing is a healthy urge which can be used properly or improperly, just as the urge to eat can be used to glorify God (eating responsibly to sustain oneself) or selfishly (gluttony). In the end, the only real conclusion I've come to is that I will have to be very introspective of my pawing habits and thought patterns to determine what I should or shouldn't be doing in this area. (Not that being introspective is any easier than giving up pawing. D= )

I've pawed several nights in a row, but I am slightly consoled by the fact that my thoughts while doing so have been relatively clear of. . . what they're not normally relatively clear of. (Some people on this forum will know what I mean.) If it's possible for pawing to be done without lusting, this is certainly as close as I've come so far. =O

(Sorry if I sound like a moral relativist or something with this post, but that is the nature of my struggle right now. I hope I don't get, like, banned or something for even beginning to suggest that pawing might be all right, and for doing so in the GLPT, of all places. D= Also, I hope I don't get banned for using furry words on a Christian anime forum. D=)

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Heh, read through this whole thread. There is no casting of stones.

The fact that you're actually seriously asking questions about this is a step in the right direction already. If you're really seaking God's will on the subject, He won't be silent about it.

[Roxas2210]

I have the same problem (somewhat) as mathgrant and many others on this page. exept i am into emos. Guy emos. i found myself one night looking at random things on photo bucket, and found that i was then seeing two emos making out on the front porch of some house. i know how most of you feel and am trying desperatly to fight and overcome this urge. i feel so ashamed every time i look at things like that and i feel like i'm spitting in God's face. i would go for weeks on end without pawing, but then it got to be a nightly thing, and i despise and hate myself for it. i sometimes feel like i should get really friendly with the barrel of a gun and stop the torturing of not only myself, but of those around me. even a few hours ago, i thought about looking down the barrel of our gun and watching my life float out the window. that is how awful i feel when i do things like that.

Yours

Roxas

[Sheenar]

Roxas,
Seriously, don't EVER do something like that! No matter what you've done or what you're doing now, God still loves you tremendously and your life is worth so much! What's amazing about God is that even in our filth, He still loves us and He sent Jesus down into our world, our filth, to pay a debt that we could never pay ourselves. We are now under grace through the blood of Christ.
Is grace a license to sin? No. But when we do sin (when, not if) Christ is standing before God for us and His blood washes our sin away --So in Christ we have hope --
Don't give up friend. I know it's a struggle, but remember Who is pleading on your behalf before God and don't let the enemy tell you you're worthless or that God doesn't love you anymore. God does. More than we can wrap our minds around.
*hugs* Remember you're not alone.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Ask yourself something: You seem clear on the idea that God isn't happy about this, but WHY isn't He? Does He have this list of things He just can't stand and smites anyone who annoys Him by doing any of them? Or could it be that He loves you desperately and wants you to enjoy a full, wonderful life the way lives were designed to be lived? Look at it THIS way the next time conviction turns to guilt.

[Htom Sirveaux]

Blitz is right. Stick around, Roxas. If you truly want to quit, keep in mind what makes you feel guilty in the first place. It's not because you're a bad person (and don't ever do any physical harm to yourself, by the way). It's your conviction as a Christian. You really want this thing out of your life. Spend some serious reflective time alone with God, and when you visit CAA keep coming back to this thread. You can't do it alone. It took me forever to figure that out myself until God finally showed me the GLPT. But stick with us and we can help you, brother.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Wow. Some serious ups and downs for me these past few days. Bad news first: after doing pretty good at dealing with temptation for a few days, I screwed up in a BIG way again yesterday There's good news though. I finally got serious about becoming accuntability partners with some of my friends from school, and since they actually know where I live, I can't go taking an extended leave of absence like I sometimes have from GLPT

[Htom Sirveaux]

Wow. Some serious ups and downs for me these past few days. Bad news first: after doing pretty good at dealing with temptation for a few days, I screwed up in a BIG way again yesterday There's good news though. I finally got serious about becoming accuntability partners with some of my friends from school, and since they actually know where I live, I can't go taking an extended leave of absence like I sometimes have from GLPT

That's wonderful news, Blitz! I would expect anyone who puts themselves in that situation to fall at least once. After all, this is a heavy position. Satan knows he's losing his grip on you and he won't go without kicking up some dust. But keep the Lord in your heart and mind, pray without ceasing and keep up the accountability group (part of which, although it probably goes without saying, is be honest). You're getting closer to casting down that demon for good, even if it seems just a little bit at a time.

I give praise to You God, for the work You are doing in Blitz's life. He is truly a good man with a heart for You.
Your Love is amazing. Your Grace unflagging. You claimed every sin, even ours, and for this we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
In Your Name I pray.
Amen.

[mathgrant]

Eep.

I've. . . done poorly. D8 I've resumed being a pervert who nu belongs on a Christian forum, an anime forum, and especially not an alliance forum. D8 Eek. In the bright side, I've worked up the nerve to delete a few pictures that I've pawed off to. But still. . . I suck. DX

[Felix]

*hugs mathgrant* Don't worry man. We've all been there/are there. I'm praying for you buddy.

[mathgrant]

*hugs mathgrant* Don't worry man. We've all been there/are there.

EEEK! *hugs back*

You lies. Nubody on CAA has been where I's beens. DX <3