General Lust Prayer Thread (WARNING: Mature Content)

[Okami]

You mean my no desireness? I do hope so.
But I doubt this feeling will last -_-
I can only trust that God will take it away, or that God will use it somehow to His glory. Because, you know, all things are possible with Him...Either way, through whatever may happen, I just gotta trust Him.

o_o; Uh...
Oopsies. . .
*goes to edit*

[Sakaki Onsei]

I'm on day 0, but I've just deleted several videos and pics from my computer. I'm beginning to think it's better to delete hentai pics and videos and fall to lust than it is to keep those hentai pics and vids and not fall I've got 13 GB of hentai pics to delete. I'm going to try to delete them all by the new year.

It's gonna be a tough thing to do, but it's definetely worth while. But, also know that the fight will not be over. Not by a long shot.

Which brings me to a request for me:

I am a man, which means my mind may travel onto lustful ideas. Lately, with my mind turning more towards God, I've been under greater attack in the "thinking led astray" department. So, while not manifesting itself physically, I am in prayer every day to let God change my heart. And that's where you all come in. I need prayer that God will take the thoughts I have and make them more...holy.

[Aleolus]

Can do, good sir, can do.

[Slytherine]

[I would just like to say I mean NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE in this post. It might come across that way, but I swear I don't. I am just telling you my thoughts. I still really like it here, and I still think the people are pretty awesome. I just thought I would put a disclaimer up first, just in case.]

I haven't read all the posts on this forum, mostly because I don't have THAT much free time on my hands. Well, ok, I do, but still. I read the first page, and this one so far, so cool-ness for Slytherine. Anyway...

I unfortunately suffer from MANY MANY MANY "lustful" or "addictive" things. First and foremost is my love of slash [aka-two people of the same sex getting it on]. In my mind, it's always been better to watch, read, or write sex, then to go out and have sex. And I am still a COMPLETE virgin. Nothing below the belt thank you very much. But it's just, as long as I can remember, I have NEVER seen a serious problem with slash. More then half of my friends are either bisexual or gay/lesbian. I myself have been known to "swing both ways" if you will...and most of them are Christian. They have those shirts that say "God made me gay!" and everything. So I guess I never really saw that as a problem. Like...EVER. I just naturally figured that true Christians wouldn't try to force people into a change. But silly me, that seems to be all the people around me ever seem to do.

I come from a family of Catholics. Now, while my parents are pretty chill with the religion stuff, my aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins are SLIGHTLY obsessed. And I made the HUGE mistake of telling them about this girl I was dating. And my aunt got out a bible and started hitting me with it screaming "MAY GOD SAVE THIS CHILD! *hit* JESUS CHRIST WILL SAVE YOU *hit* JESUS CHRIST WILL SAVE YOU *hit* [continue that for 20 solid minutes, and you know what I felt]

So, as you might have guessed, it kinda carried with me. That, and I went to a Catholic school for 8 years. That can make anyone turn from Christianity. JUST SAYING. Anyway...

I am a part of a writing group, which writes for adultfanfiction . net, which is pretty much a porn fanfiction site. But the people I met in the group are some of the most amazing people ever. And I have made friends with them. And I love them to death, I swear!

But recently [like, over the least few months] My AMAZING FRIEND [aka-LadyRushia] started talking to me about Christianity, and how it is a relationship with God and everything, and everything she says sounded so nice. And she mentioned here, so I joined. But I still feel very AWKWARD here, because it seems like everyone is so into this. And I just am a very skeptical person. But I want to find God again.

But, I lie. And cheat. And steal. And watch porn. And yaoi. And read it. And write it. And I am bisexual. And I drink [not a lot mind you, but still]. And I smoke. And I curse [like a sailor. I have to go back and censor any of my posts I make here to check for cursing. If I miss anything, please let me know.] And I make sexual jokes. And I used to cut [and I still do...sometimes]. And a lot of the time I kinda hate myself and want to die. And I am angry. And bordering on violent. And that's just to name a few.

And what people consider the worst is: I LIKE IT.

Maybe it's because I am a teenager, but I never thought there was anything wrong with me. But being on here, and talking with Rushia, and just giving it some thought is making me confused. At first I was angry that these thoughts were even in my head. And then I started thinking how much nicer everything would be in my life if I just tried to fix it.

Then maybe the horrible numbness I feel could go away. I think I wanted to kill myself because I didn't care. And in all honesty, I still don't. While I am not trying to off myself, it doesn't mean I like what I see in the mirror, ya know?

And so of course I brought some of this up to Rushia and her responses kinda made me want to cry for some reason. Like, she was talking about how God made you a certain way and he thinks all his children are beautiful, like a real Dad would. And how since Jesus died for our sins and human beings aren't perfect, God will forgive us when we mess up. But, what if you don't think you are doing anything wrong in the first place?

I like guys AND girls. But if I had to pick, I am more attracted to girls, no matter what I tell people. I have ALWAYS liked girls more then guys, going back to when I was four, and I would chase the other girls around in the playground with the boys.

And I just feel constantly confused. Am I screwed up? Is there something wrong with me? Should I bother to change? I don't like the thought of anything controlling my life [aka religion]. I dictate my own life. I guess the Athiest in me rebels at even being here on CAA...

But for some reason, I feel a lot warmer whenever I am on here. I feel PETRIFIED and censored and some slight grrr-ness, but I feel very smilie and warm at the same time... It's a little odd.

I know I have been all over the place here. Sorry about that. I guess I just needed to rant or something. I am just a confused teenager I guess. I dunno. Whatever.


~Slytherine

[K. Ayato]

Hello and welcome. First off, thanks for being honest in your posting. It sounds like you've been through quite a handful of things. Personally, I don't think you're crazy or that anything is wrong with you, in the sense that you have a disorder or something. I think part of it has to do with your age. As you stated, you're still a teenager. Few more years down the road, and you'll be an adult. For the moment, you're trying to find out who you are and where you belong. It's fairly normal for people your age to experiment with different things and find what fits them best. But as you've admitted, you're investing your time and interests in things that you know are not healthy for you in the long run.

Don't be afraid of being judged here. I'm sorry if you've experienced that in other places online or even in your own personal life. I know you haven't read all the posts in this thread, but if you ever get the chance (which I highly recommend), you'll see that a lot of the members who've posted here have situations that are exactly or very close to being identical with yours. That's the reason this thread was made . Every one of us struggles with lust and/or sexual thoughts that manifest in one form or another.

I'll be praying for you, bub. Feel free to send a PM to me or any other member you feel you can relate with should you ever want to talk.

[Okami]

Fallen again.

*sighs and places her head in her hands*
I can't stop myself. What do I do?

[Sakaki Onsei]

The only thing to do, Okami, is to get back up and continue on. At least, that's what I have learned.

I'll make sure to pray throughout the day for you. I'm probably going to need to do that, to keep my mind on solid ground.

[Aleolus]

<mod snipped>


The only thing you can do. Keep trying, put your faith in God, your eyes on God, and don't beat yourself up too badly when you fail. I am reminded of a line from the television show Frasier, which can easily be expanded to everyone.

Lillith and Frasier, speaking to a woman who felt threatened and angry whenever her husband looked at another woman, and her husband who didn't see it as a big thing.
Frasier: "And you, do you love this woman?"
Guy: Yes
Frasier (instantly): Then keep your eyes in your head.
Lillith (speaking to the woman): And when he fails, and he is a man, he will fail, you need to remember that it doesn't mean he's going to leave you.
Guy (to the woman): Or that I love you any less.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

To Okami: Aleolus put it pretty well. Beating yourself up is only going to make things worse. Even though it seems like punishing ourselves and feeling worse is the only way to drive ourselves out of these ruts, that sort of thing only drags us deeper in them. Hard as it might be, don't let your focus be on what you're trying NOT to do. Let your focus be on the alternative that you DO want. If all you've got is a lot of "No" and a vaccum where nothing's happening, there's not really anyplace to go.

To Slytherine: Being a complete and total Protestant, I'm really not qualified to comment on Catholocism... or at least not in a way that most people would be interested in hearing Anyway, K-chan put it pretty well. You're not abnormal to think/do these things and enjoy them, no more than any other human being that's ever existed, that is. It's also not abnormal to feel confused and unfappy about it, even though it doesn't jive with what we've come to think. It happens a lot when God starts to get involved in things. It seems kind of scary and unplesant on this end, but trust me, the pay-off is worth it

[Okami]

So we were at Bed, Bath & Beyond today, replacing my new iPod Stereo (the one I got for Christmas was defective, if you had the volume on (didn't matter if it was 01-40, as long as it wasn't 00) it had this really annoying buzzing/humming sound coming from the speakers...that I could hear over anything coming from the speakers despite how loud it may be. Talk about disruptive. And the buzz/hum never changed, which was all the more weird.

ANYWAYS,
We saw this lamp that had a clip on it. And I've been looking into one of these for up in my bed for night reading...mainly to stay away from M. So we bought it. I'll let you guys know how that treatment goes x3

Didn't go to counseling today, as it turn out, my dear counselor got sick D: So we had to reschedule. However, I did get my antidepressants, so I'm praying God works some wonders through them (regular ones then sleep meds for my on-and-offness) And I had to get blood drawn. Talk about awkward when the nurse pulled up my sleeve, revealing all those scars, and then her not saying a word of them....

But I turned my head while she was ready-ing the needle and as she did her work, as I knew if I watched the blood drain, I'd trigger. I didn't even feel the prick. How sad is that? That I'm so used to sharp objects piercing my skin that I didn't....*shudders*

Hm...methinks I need rest. But I want to read. And I want to set up my Stereo. And...yeah. I've got stuff to do. I'll talk to you all tomorrow.

[SP1]

Slytherine: Welcome to CAA! Umm, yes, pretty rough road you have there, but not insurmountable. I, and a lot of others I suspect, will pray for you. Without hitting you over the head with a Bible (or anything else). Be sure to PM folks if you want more in-depth discussion or to work through issues.

Okami: Yes, sleep is a good idea. From what I can see, you are doing significantly better, so focus on the successes. And not being afraid of needles is a handy skill, however you get it.

[Slytherine]

Getting hit with bibles sounds funny when you're talking about it, but it's SLIGHTLY awkward when you're living it, ya know? Weirdness. Like much weirdness WOAH!


~Slytherine

[Sheenar]

I'm still praying for you guys.

Keep hanging in there, Okami. God is definitely working! Don't worry about not feeling the needle --I had some bloodwork done and they used a needle so small I didn't feel it (the stupid tape HURT though).
I'm at my friends' parents house. I will be here until school starts in the Spring. So hopefully I will use this time to draw close to God and farther away from indulging in "old habits."

Welcome, Slytherin. Glad to have you here!

Sleep does sound good. Haven't been sleeping well, so I'm bushed. Thanks for your prayers and I will pray for you guys too.

[Okami]

*grumbles in disgust with herself*

Day in and day out...every day this week I have M'd.
Tonight it was for relief from family tension. Good grief. I'm a sick person.

[Sakaki Onsei]

Okami, you're not a sick person. It's not an easy thing, and it's not an easy issue that can be changed in the blink of an eye.

God loves you regardless, and he wants to hear from you. Just like he wants to hear from all of us. Just keep walking, and keep getting up when you fall.

[HiddenWoodchuck]

I'm praying for everyone I am still at struggle... but I won't lose hope. I keep throwing away things that give me any sort of temptation... sounds sad, but even things that are not really tempting, like just normal box art on a anime or something, that isn't sexual... sad, but I am making sure I do not keep messing up like this... my thoughts are the worst, they make it so difficult during the day.

[kat-su-chan]

I notice there's a lot of...interesting things being said about M on here...
I wanted to know, get everyone's opinion on whether one can or should M or not. I've heard many different things about this issue...from various spiritual leaders over the course of my life. Some have said oh it's terrible. others have said, well it's part of human nature. We are designed this way. God gave us our bodies, and we are to honour him with them.
So what does this mean? I have been told it's ok to M, as long as it's not after something or something. The same source also told me that it's not recommended, because it's easy to fall into lustful thoughts and patterns. However, that it was better to relieve your sexual frustrations than it was to store them until you burst. Because either way, everyone's going to fall into it.
temptation and lust is wrong. adultery is wrong. So then is it wrong to M thinking about your future husband or wife?
I'm not trying to press any opinion on this, because I am not sure what my own opinion is. However, I am definately interested in people's opinions...
So. is it wrong to M, or is it not?

[kat-su-chan]

Hm...
is M wrong?
I have been taught different things.
- since it doesn't specify in the bible about it, it's not technically wrong but the thoughts or habits associated with it can lead to a fall
- but since it's so easy to fall into deeper temptations, you should avoid it
- of course, adultery is a sin. and leven ooking at another woman is adultery so, (biblically) does that mean to imagine someone other than one's future husband/wife is adulterous?
hm. what does everyone think?

[kat-su-chan]

Hm...
is M wrong?
I have been taught different things.
- since it doesn't specify in the bible about it, it's not technically wrong but the thoughts or habits associated with it can lead to a fall
- but since it's so easy to fall into deeper temptations, you should avoid it
- of course, adultery is a sin. and leven ooking at another woman is adultery so, (biblically) does that mean to imagine someone other than one's future husband/wife is adulterous?
hm. what does everyone think? I'm not sure what to think after reading this post! =\

[kat-su-chan]

ok...seriously. I posted a question on here more than TWICE and neither post is on here....
Why is my post being deleted?
Did I do something wrong?
(not impressed....)
Let's try again....

Hm...
is M wrong?
I have been taught different things.
- since it doesn't specify in the bible about it, it's not technically wrong but the thoughts or habits associated with it can lead to a fall
- but since it's so easy to fall into deeper temptations, you should avoid it
- of course, adultery is a sin. and leven ooking at another woman is adultery so, (biblically) does that mean to imagine someone other than one's future husband/wife is adulterous?
hm. what does everyone think? I'm not sure what to think anymore!

[Sheenar]

Okami,
We're all sick. We wouldn't need a Savior otherwise. Praise God we have Jesus who can heal our sickness! Remember "It's not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have come not for the righteous, but to redeem sinners." (My Bible paraphrase) God uses our struggles to show us how much we really need Him and how hopeless we are without Him. My struggles definitely keep me humble. They remind me that I have no room to talk and I need Jesus just as much as anyone else.

Showing disgust at your sin is a positive thing. You would need to start worrying if you had no reaction to it. You're showing your hatred for sin. God is working in your life. Beating this sin won't happen overnight. God is sanctifying you --it's going to be painful and hard, but so worth it in the end. Keep trusting God. You are a work in progress.

[Okami]

Thanks guys. It helps...always remembering I am not alone. When I fell this morning (It was like....3 to 4 am?) I immediately got up and prayed (Oh...this time it was very lustful, that M...) and asked God to show me somewhere, anywhere in the Bible for comfort and relief.

I ended up coming to Hosea 14:4 ~ 'The Lord says, "Then I will heal you of your faithfulness; my love will know no bounds, for my anger will be gone forever."'
*sighs* Love.

Then I ended up praying for specific people, mostly you guys, my 'Church' at the GD/LPTs and that made me feel good again...pure. And it reminded me that right now I'm trying to regain my sexual integrity.

Hey, and today my mom called me a good role model [for my stepsister]. I immediately questioned "Was that sarcastic?" and she responded "No! I mean it." Feels good

Speaking of my stepsister...please pray for her...I'm almost positive she's found her way into the painfully pleasuring world of M. *sighs* She's 10, and really boy-crazy. And today she asked if she could start dating. Ugh.
Yeah. She needs it. Also today she asked what she could do to become a Christian, to which mom replied "Start acting like one." and she asked "And what's that like?" to which mom replied "Well maybe if you came to church with us, you'd understand." (Mind you, we do our best to glorify God at home when she's around, not swearing, being loyal, helpful, etc.)
She tried to interject with "But it's soooo early to get up!" and mom replied "Well, you're up now right?" "Yeah." "What time did you get up?" "Um...9ish." "See, then you'd have enough time to get ready and go with us if it were a Sunday. Service starts at 10:30."

Yeah. So mentioning that whole conversation...pray that she sees the light and finds the Lord.

Oh. And big thanks to Alexander He IM'd me last night and we chatted and at the end I confessed: "Well, actually, tonight I got on my computer to look up some porn, but logged on here instead..." So thanks to him for keeping me away. Still 6 months clean. Thank you, brother.

[Sheenar]

See, God is working in you Okami!!
Just make sure your step-sister knows that you don't become a Christian by acting like one, but only through faith in the blood of Christ. But I'm sure you know that.
Praise God that He placed Alexander in your path to keep you from porn. I've had that same struggle myself. Nearly a year clean. It's really easy to give in to your flesh, but when you are tempted, God always provides a way out. He knows we are weak. What you put before your eyes affects you deeply --God was protecting you in your struggle against M --He kept you from putting images in your mind that would just make it harder not to M.
Don't think God isn't doing anything in you. He is. We are all works in progress. No one is perfect. That's what makes God's grace so amazing!

[Okami]

Absolutely, and we're going to make it to that in time. Only the blood of Christ and faith in Him makes us a Christian, but for now, she needs softening of her already very hard heart. Softening so that she respects us as her elders (as she's gotten older, she's beginning to find authority over even me, and won't listen to what anyone says without questioning it first...) She wants to be a teenager so bad that it makes me hurt. Because I could only wish to be a child again, y'know?

You know, I didn't even think of it that way. Praise God.


Oh! Song for you all
Excuse the paragraph format, I couldn't find it any other way--


Father God, I'm prayin' to you for somebody, who knows you Lord but just hasn't, hasn't been seein' you in the right view lately, Hear me out...

Father, I'm prayin' for a friend he and I are pretty close, and out of all my friends for this one I'm concerned the most. He say he readin' daily but he ain't really learnin'. He been in church but say that he ain't moved by any sermon. His face weak, he ain't prayed in a week, he wake up and just weep with his face in the sink Lord, you gotta help my man, I'm prayin' for him daily, he ain't sinned but it just seem as if he goin' crazy. He say he feelin' trapped, can't even head up the mall coz every lady's half-dressed temptin' him to lust and fall. He keep the TV off, videos just make him feel that he ain't really nothin' without money, girls and shiny wheels. The other day he told me that he felt less a man coz he ain't have a five-year plan or a piece of land and man it's crazy coz his family think so much of him, plus he got a godly wife who always showin' love for him but he's strugglin', even though he talk to me, I tell him what to do but he don't listen when he oughta' be. I'm scared for him coz there's people that look up to him, he got some younger siblings who been changed by what he's done for them but is it done for him, Lord don't let it be, if he don't wanna talk to you then Father hear from me, is it done for him, Lord don't let it be, if he don't wanna talk to you then Father hear from me...

Yeah, I'm prayin' for you, yeah, I'm prayin' for you
Yeah, I'm prayin' for you, yeah, yeah, I'm prayin' for you...

God, his condition is worsen since we were last conversed and I'm with him now and he ain't doin' well and this I'm certain. He say he tryna' trust you, doesn't wanna disgust you but he was in the mist of sinners and did not discuss you and just today his anxiety's got the best of him, he knows Christ but for hours refuse to rest in Him, he's not the best of men but Lord I know he really loves you and I can't understand why lately he's not thinkin' of you. People trust this dude, you could crush this dude, Father he needs more of you I pray you touch this dude, what can I say to him? I'm determined to pray for him Father empty and break him I pray you'll just have your way with him, coz there's a change in him and the effects are strong, I pray you open up his heart before the next song and when he gets home, I pray he'll open up the sixty-six book love letter you wrote and soak it up coz he ain't hearin' You and he ain't feelin' me and God I know it's killin' You because it's killin' me and matter of fact there's somethin' else he's concealin' see, the person that I've been prayin' about is really me...

Yeah, I'm prayin' for you, yeah, I'm prayin' for you
Yeah, I'm prayin' for you, yeah, yeah, I'm prayin' for you...

[Kunoichi]

Well,

I have to say that I have real problems in this category, as some of you read before.

Lust is like hand and hand with my life at times. M, as you would call it, is a day to day thing unless I'm with my boyfriend because then well, it would be sex at that point.

I don't feel guilt over it anymore, how sad is that? I have tried to stop, many, many times. Sigh*

My lust reached a point to where I also cheated on my boyfriend with someone sexually. And no, I haven't told him. Because the person I cheated on him with, was my boss....God help me. I can't believe I'm writing this...let alone posting it.

My boyfriend and I have talked about my lust problems too, prayed about them. I told him I was scared, because I know that I'm vulnerable. I know that it is easy for me to want lust only because it makes me feel loved. I have a lot of issues with men because I never had any men in my life who cared about me or who haven't used me to some point. My dad hasn't spoken to me in over ten years. My last fiancee raped me (although much I'm sure was due to his own immaturity).My boss has been my only male figure who has actually cared about me. So when I met my current boyfriend, I was scared.

I will tell my boyfriend...I just don't know how, when or anything. Because the problem is: I also have feelings for my boss, but I'm not sure if it is love or lust or desire or want or what....and it is so hard.

I love my boyfriend, so very very very much. I could see marrying him. That is how much I love him. By boss, whom I have known for over eight years, is someone I care about and is a great person.

I don't know...just pray please that God will help me with this. I can't stop my lust and I can't stop myself. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. I just would rather die than hurt either of them.

I'm scared of being judged, which you guys have already told me that you wouldn't but well, mine seems to be the worst thing going on.

I have told my boyfriend that I have feelings for someone else too (I think he knows who it is but i'm not sure) and told him I was scared that I would fall into this. He said the most beautiful thing: That he would love me no matter what.

I have never known love like that: unconditional from any man before. So I'm really scared and God has put this on my heart to share it and bring it to the open.

Please, even if you think that I'm the worst person on this world, I humbly ask that you pray. I want to be a shining child of God, not a hypocrite or swine who was given pearls of eternal life.

[HiddenWoodchuck]

I'm not gonna judge you, and I can't see anyone else here doing so either. I'm gonna be praying for you. I'm gonna be honest and say that I have wanted to go out and sleep with a few different girls that I know, simply because they have shown kindness to me, and I feel like all I want sometimes, is for someone to hold on to. I know that God is the one I need to be holding on to, but I get feeling so alone, and I just want someone there... somehow, I have been able to not lose myself to those thoughts. I know God has someone for me, but I have messed up over and over, looking to M to give me release, so I don't go and lose myself for a moment... but that too, is so wrong.... it makes me feel horrible.

My relationships have never lasted, because I am always quick to tell someone that I want to be with them forever, and that I am afraid of losing them... and I get over protective and act like they are the one I will marry, when it is only a few days into the relationship... it overwhelms them and they end up ending the relationship. They have become some of my closest friends, but it still leaves me confused and alone. I know I want to become closer to God, and be able to inspire and help that special person, when I do find them, or God shows them to me. I get so scared that it will never happen, because I seem to "fall in love" with every female that shows any bit of kindness to me. So, in order to keep from confusing and making someone sad, I have just avoided being in relationships... I am afraid I am gonna miss that special person, and never be with anyone, but I am hoping and trusting God will make it happen, if it is suppose to.

I don't think that is gonna help you, but I wanted to be honest and show that you are not the "worst person in the world" or anything even close to that, you are confused with things and I will be praying for God to lead you in the right direction and to make the right choices. Take care and if you could say a prayer for me, it would mean lots. Thanks so much!

[Aleolus]

Kunoichi, you have my full sympathy. I haven't been in that exact situation, for I made a vow several years ago to wait to have sex until I got married, but I was also abused as a child (though it was by a 'friend', rather than a parent or fiance). It's tough for me to just think of women as nothing more than 'friends', mostly because I want so much for that one special person I can call my own, and I am theirs. There's an element of lust in my thought pattern as well, because, while I will wait until I am married to have sex, I want to get married as soon as bloody possible! I have had two girlfriends so far (out of three total) that I saw myself settling down with and marrying. One I even proposed to, and she accepted! Then we (read 'she') realized that it wouldn't be a good idea because she couldn't offer a lot of stuff I was wanting in a marriage, so we broke it off amicably.
I also don't feel guilt anymore over lustful thoughts, as I posted earlier in this thread, and that scares me. The suggestions that were made for me were basically to pray and read in the Bible.
As for your feeling overwhelmed with lust at times, I may have something to try. In a book I read a while back called 'Every Young Man's Battle', it speaks of your sex drive and you battling like sumo wrestlers. You are your approximate size, and your sex drive is basically a 700 pound gorilla. You try and intimidate him, charge him, and get knocked out of the rink. This continued for a while, until the guy got mad and said "God! Why can't I win? Won't you help me?" And God's response was "You want to win? Starve him!" Basically, the way to do that is to cut off all, or nearly all, of the sexual input you take in on a daily basis. It's hella hard, I know (I still haven't managed to do it), but after a while, your sex drive starts slimming down, and it gets easier.
I'll be praying for you. Good luck!

[HiddenWoodchuck]

I have my mind set on not giving in tonight... it may be just one day, but if I can get through tonight... and maybe tomorrow... I can go from there.

[Okami]

I feel the same, Hidden. It's been almost a day that I haven't... (Good for me?)

[HiddenWoodchuck]

Well, in about 3 hours, it will have been one whole day for me... pretty big deal for me... kind of sad I know, but the last month has been bad... it wasn't a once a day thing either, much more.... didn't matter that I was working those day either, because I don't have people around me all day at work. That alone time is no good when I allow myself to get those thoughts. Praying for you Okami I know we can do this...