Worrying myself to death

[Momo-P]

I can't go on living this way...I worry about every little detail. In some ways that's good, it's good to actually care about God and wanting to keep His rules. In some ways it's bad...it's bad to obsess and make myself sicker than a dog.

Some people may have noticed the threads I made recently in misc and the issues I worried about. Of course yet another popped up.

1 Thessalonians 5:22-23:

"Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Abstain from all appearence of evil? Ok, but one person's vision of evil is different than another's. One Christian thinks Harry Potter is the devil, another thinks it's nothing to be alarmed of. If we must take into account how everyone sees us, then shouldn't we all live like the Amish? After all, I'm sure some of them think we're evil for even living in the areas we do. I mean, how can you escape the appearance of evil when it changes?

I may wear a pair of jeans and a baby doll t-shirt because I think it looks nice on my figure, but some people may look at that as evil. I'm kind of a busty girl, and I can't lie, I thank God for it because I think flat chests don't look that nice on women...so what? I can't wear a tighter shirt because I'm not flat? I have to be baggy? Or I can't even wear any of that at all? I have to wear a dress because someone thinks pants are evil?

Just...*sighs* I feel so sick now. I keep worrying about this and that and my future. Like not wanting to have kids. I don't want them, I just...don't. The fact I DO behave this way leads me to think it probably would be better not to bring a child upon myself. I drive myself crazy, I can't handle a freaking child.

gah...I just don't feel so good...

[Sakaki Onsei]

I understand a lot of that worry stuff. I'm a born worrywart. I just remember one big thing that Jesus said:

"For whom by worrying can add an hour to his life?"

The only thing that can be done, and the only thing that I have been able to do, is to just let God take care of the details. It's like learning to do the backstroke: God has your back, just trust in Him and let him steady you.

The key thing is to understand that God looks at you, you alone, and sees something glorious. Other people's opinions only matter as much as the creedence you give them.

Something small from my little world to yours. Oh, and before I forget, I will put you in my prayers for this week.

[SnEptUne]

Abstain from all appearence of evil? Ok, but one person's vision of evil is different than another's. One Christian thinks Harry Potter is the devil, another thinks it's nothing to be alarmed of. If we must take into account how everyone sees us, then shouldn't we all live like the Amish? After all, I'm sure some of them think we're evil for even living in the areas we do. I mean, how can you escape the appearance of evil when it changes?

I may wear a pair of jeans and a baby doll t-shirt because I think it looks nice on my figure, but some people may look at that as evil. I'm kind of a busty girl, and I can't lie, I thank God for it because I think flat chests don't look that nice on women...so what? I can't wear a tighter shirt because I'm not flat? I have to be baggy? Or I can't even wear any of that at all? I have to wear a dress because someone thinks pants are evil?

Just...*sighs* I feel so sick now. I keep worrying about this and that and my future. Like not wanting to have kids. I don't want them, I just...don't. The fact I DO behave this way leads me to think it probably would be better not to bring a child upon myself. I drive myself crazy, I can't handle a freaking child.

gah...I just don't feel so good...

Evil isn't well defined, what is important is what you truly believe in with your heart. Stealing is sinful, but what about an old lady who stole a bread because her children was starved for 4 days.

There are many wrong doing in this world. Although it doesn't meant the end justify the mean, people are fundamentally good. If you think tight jeans are evil, then don't wear it. Instead of saying what is evil, you should ask why evil. I doubt it is the clothing itself nor your bust size. You may want to try and understand other's point of view, then you may decide for yourself what is right and wrong without prejudice.

I personally don't care what I wear, but I do care how people look at me, but that's just the way I am.

[SP1]

These things you have mentioned are not evil or from evil. Wear what you want, and don't worry about whether you are attractive or not. Now, there is a question of lust. If you are dressing to deliberately provoke lust, that's a problem. As I've said before, a lusting viewer can find someone sexy wearing no makeup and a burlap sack. And the part of the body that inspires lust varies with culture. There are places on this planet where you can go completely shirtless, and not draw attention. Others, where exposing a female ankle can get you arrested.

So watch your motives not so much an imagined dress code. Also, if a fellow Christian asks you to tone it down, be mindful of that, since we are brethren here and we should try to help others, not help them to stumble. But you don't need to second guess at it, just let them mention it first.

OK part II: I felt the same way you do for many years. There's a lot of great reasons to wait to have children until later, when you are better able to deal with them. And certainly, if you don't want them, don't make them. The world doesn't need any more unwanted children.

[Sheenar]

I agree about not making more unwanted children. The only thing is, is that I personally do not agree with birth control (sin of Onan in Genesis, some of the effects of the pill, etc.). Still not completely decided yet.
But would God give you a child He would not provide the means to take care of? People still get pregnant on the pill (small number, but it happens). If people don't want the child, they should give him/her up for adoption. Many people can't have children and would love one!

Anyway, probably getting off-topic. Momo, Christ died to set us free. Worrying over everything is not living in freedom --it's bondage. Worry gives us chains. God is big enough to take care of everything --even the little details. Trust Him to guide you in the right way. Don't sweat the small things.

[Momo-P]

I agree about not making more unwanted children. The only thing is, is that I personally do not agree with birth control (sin of Onan in Genesis, some of the effects of the pill, etc.). Still not completely decided yet.
But would God give you a child He would not provide the means to take care of? People still get pregnant on the pill (small number, but it happens). If people don't want the child, they should give him/her up for adoption. Many people can't have children and would love one!

Wasn't Onan the one who basically raped his brother's wife? If that's the right one, I think some people have understood that another way. After all, wasn't he only having sex with his brother (or whatever's) wife because she needed someone to carry on the bloodline? By letting his seed fall on the ground he wasn't fufilling that and was raping her. There's kind of a difference between two married people saying "we don't want a kid" and for someone to do what he did.

And actually I wouldn't mind adopting a kid out, I just rather not have one. I mean, my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years now and chances are we will marry...I mean, we've both even talked about it recently and even my mom cracks jokes about our married life. Since both of us are only children though, we just don't want kids. We find the idea very off putting and I almost break down into tears at the very thought of getting pregnant. That's how little I want a child. I have no problem helping little kids, or talking to them (might feel uncomfortable), but I just don't want one myself. My perfect life is just between me, my husband and God.

But anyways, thanks for the comments guys...especially the worry one Sheenar. I've been thinking of some stuff lately and almost felt sick again. Reminding me to leave it up to God makes me feel a bit better though. He knows how I feel about situations and would never hurt me on purpose.

Also while I'm at it, can you pray for my boyfriend since I brought him up? He believes in God and stuff so that's good, I just want him to try and read his Bible more. He apparently reads it more than he use to so that's good, but I just want him to get into a daily habit. We also started talking about downloading stuff yesterday which led us to some disagreements, but I basically just want God to get the right answer out to both of us. With most Bible stuff we totally agree (in fact this is kind of the only thing we don't), but this board is proof that not all Christians even agree on that subject. I just want us both to make the right decision since you never want to tick off God...^^;

[SnEptUne]

Wasn't Onan the one who basically raped his brother's wife? If that's the right one, I think some people have understood that another way. After all, wasn't he only having sex with his brother (or whatever's) wife because she needed someone to carry on the bloodline? By letting his seed fall on the ground he wasn't fufilling that and was raping her. There's kind of a difference between two married people saying "we don't want a kid" and for someone to do what he did.

Indeed, Onan has commited a serious sin (adultuery) but how is that revelent to your case? I hope no one is trying to rape you?

And actually I wouldn't mind adopting a kid out, I just rather not have one. I mean, my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years now and chances are we will marry...I mean, we've both even talked about it recently and even my mom cracks jokes about our married life. Since both of us are only children though, we just don't want kids. We find the idea very off putting and I almost break down into tears at the very thought of getting pregnant. That's how little I want a child. I have no problem helping little kids, or talking to them (might feel uncomfortable), but I just don't want one myself. My perfect life is just between me, my husband and God.

Getting married does not imply having children. If you don't want to get pregnant, then don't.

But anyways, thanks for the comments guys...especially the worry one Sheenar. I've been thinking of some stuff lately and almost felt sick again. Reminding me to leave it up to God makes me feel a bit better though. He knows how I feel about situations and would never hurt me on purpose.

Also while I'm at it, can you pray for my boyfriend since I brought him up? He believes in God and stuff so that's good, I just want him to try and read his Bible more. He apparently reads it more than he use to so that's good, but I just want him to get into a daily habit. We also started talking about downloading stuff yesterday which led us to some disagreements, but I basically just want God to get the right answer out to both of us. With most Bible stuff we totally agree (in fact this is kind of the only thing we don't), but this board is proof that not all Christians even agree on that subject. I just want us both to make the right decision since you never want to tick off God...^^;

Leaving it up to God maybe a solution, but try not to overdo it or you will regret not making decisions later in life. Afterall, God created humans with free wills so that they can sin; evil exists to prove purity of one's mind. If God decides everything for us, we are no better than animals. We don't follow God because we fear Him, but because we find love and joy in Him.

Regarding you boyfriend, instead of asking him to read bible daily, wouldn't it be better to arrange a time to get together to read passage of bible together?

[Momo-P]

Indeed, Onan has commited a serious sin (adultuery) but how is that revelent to your case? I hope no one is trying to rape you?

Actually Onan's brother was dead I thought, so it wasn't adultery. The only reason he had sex with his brother's wife was to ensure and heir, but then he realized the kid wasn't going to be his, and...ya.

And I just brought it up since it's the truth. I've seen a lot of people mention that part of the Bible as a reason birth control and stuff is evil, but then it's like they don't actually read the whole story. I don't see why it's so wrong to at least make sure the other side is at least put out there. ^^;

Leaving it up to God maybe a solution, but try not to overdo it or you will regret not making decisions later in life. Afterall, God created humans with free wills so that they can sin; evil exists to prove purity of one's mind. If God decides everything for us, we are no better than animals. We don't follow God because we fear Him, but because we find love and joy in Him.

Regarding you boyfriend, instead of asking him to read bible daily, wouldn't it be better to arrange a time to get together to read passage of bible together?

On the decision part, I do leave it up to God, but I obviously choose my paths. I'm not the type to just stand around and expect things to happen, I do steer toward the direction I'd like.

As for the Bible reading...never even thought of that. I much prefer to read much stuff alone though and he's pretty much like me...I could talk to him about it, but God only knows how that'll go. ^^;

[EricTheFred]

As previously mentioned (before the tangent into Onan) the idea that the Thessalonians passage requires you to dress so as not to offend anyone's dress codes is just wrong. As we have seen already a few times, it is literally impossible. News stories about whether or not teenage Muslim girls are allowed to wear facial covering in school. A school considers it wrong to cover up the face, the religion considers it wrong to bare it. You literally cannot please everyone in this case.

God isn't laying out a minefield for you in the Epistles, a set of laws you must follow or else you perish. That is Pharisaic law, not Christianity. He's trying to tell you something much more important.

Be honest to the very core of your heart with what you are doing, and why. If you are covering yourself appropriately, and you know you are not playing games to attract the lustful eyes of others, than you're doing your part.

As also pointed out above, there are lustful eyes out there that require no encouragement. It isn't your fault if they see you. But, it is your fault if you are purposefully baiting people.

One thing to remember, and it is probably the funniest thing I ever heard a guy over 70 say to me. "Don't forget, boy. God made girls look that way to take guys' minds off cars once in a while." Probably not high philosophy, but it does raise a point. God designed your body. Yes, it wasn't so that you could run out and be a hussy, but it was with the understanding that guys would notice you once in a while.

[Saj]

Momo, i understand how you feel, I used to worry about everything as well, but i dont anymore nearly as much as i used to. I was looking for a verse to give you cause whenever i have a problem or question, the first place i go is the bible. and i couldnt find anything that suited your situation, but i did notice that every verse that had the word worry or fret (bible.com ) had atleast one of 2 other words in the verses... Don't and Not. God doesn't want you to be worried about anything.(past, future, present, kids, clothes, food, shelter, car, money, etc...) If you let Him be in control then youve got nuthing to be worried about.

I got that through my skull after about 2 years, and now Im living happy.

edit: ill be praying for you btw :OD