General Lust Prayer Thread (WARNING: Mature Content)

[mathgrant]

Some online friends of mine and I have made a covenant/commitment amongst ourselves not to M for the entire rest of the year. It is not an easy covenant to keep for any of us, but we have encouraged and talked with each other a lot. We've even begun to use "08!" as a term of encouragement. With God on our sides, we will make it! =D

*sigh* I've had two dreams of M'ing in the past several days, though. Those dreams can be pretty discouraging, because for the brief moment before I realize I was dreaming, I feel ashamed, and afterwards I am left with a powerful reminder of what M'ing feels like (and how tempting it truly is). I still can't help but wonder if there's some way I could control these dreams. Maybe I should pray about them. Amazingly, I've never tried that. <3

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Kunoichi, I'm praying for you. I can't help but feel that you must be confused over certain things. I pray that God like clears your head and you can get things put in perspective now. ^_^

[Aleolus]

Aleolus,

I have similar experiences of no remorse over having sex with my boyfriend...which I also know is not right...I think after you do it for a while maybe the guilt or remorse , those feelings I should say, don't happen anymore..

Thank you so much for sharing! *hugs I ask that the Holy Father releases you from this and that any demons that are hanging around you would leave and that God would reveal Himself to you through this whole experience. Amen

God bless you Aleolus, you have prayer coverage over this!

I could say the same for you, you know.

This is kinda cool, this is actually the most accepting, Christ-centered place I've found after my home church. This is actually a lot like it, and I was referenced here because I'm an anime maniac!

[Kunoichi]

Mr. Smartypants...I am...and there are some more to my story that I will not be able to reveal at this time...but I will once I become more clear on it myself..

*hugs to all thankyou for your love and support!

[SP1]

Some online friends of mine and I have made a covenant/commitment amongst ourselves not to M for the entire rest of the year. It is not an easy covenant to keep for any of us, but we have encouraged and talked with each other a lot. We've even begun to use "08!" as a term of encouragement. With God on our sides, we will make it! =D

*sigh* I've had two dreams of M'ing in the past several days, though. Those dreams can be pretty discouraging, because for the brief moment before I realize I was dreaming, I feel ashamed, and afterwards I am left with a powerful reminder of what M'ing feels like (and how tempting it truly is). I still can't help but wonder if there's some way I could control these dreams. Maybe I should pray about them. Amazingly, I've never tried that. <3

Please don't look into these dreams as a failure on your part. You've got some history, apparently, of this M activity that you have suddenly cut off. Like any other repetetive activity suddenly stopped, your brain has to deal with the leftover thoughts and clutter of what is basically an addiction. Dreams are your brain's way of cleaning house. These will fade in time with your continued success. Of course, you could help things along by thinking about something else, instead of dwelling on NOT doing M.

[Htom Sirveaux]

...I feel I need to clarify something, if only to attempt to ease my mind. In my request for prayer, I mentioned that I have (several times, now) had pornographic thoughts going through my mind while listening to pastors/preachers/priests, whatever you want to call them, teach about God and the bible. What frightens me somewhat is that I feel no guilt or shame about this. I feel nothing remorseful when browsing porn online, nor do I have any problem with Christianity and pornography coexisting, which I know is not right! I have even (not right now, thankfully) had adult material open in one tab, with this site here open in another! That fact frightens me somewhat, and worries me.

I totally identify with everything you said here. When one is in the mindless "P-frenzy", one cares not a fig for anything else. It's only when that particular attack is over that one is able to think more clearly. Unfortunately, the first thoughts to come at this point are intense guilt and remorse. The only advice I can give about computer P is how I myself beat it. Just remember one simple thing: sooner or later, it totally screws up your computer.

[mathgrant]

Please don't look into these dreams as a failure on your part. You've got some history, apparently, of this M activity that you have suddenly cut off. Like any other repetetive activity suddenly stopped, your brain has to deal with the leftover thoughts and clutter of what is basically an addiction. Dreams are your brain's way of cleaning house. These will fade in time with your continued success. Of course, you could help things along by thinking about something else, instead of dwelling on NOT doing M.

To clarify, I am currently on day 14 without M, although I had achieved 60 days in a row not long ago. If I successfully uphold this covenant to be M-free for the rest of the year, that'll make 70 days! =D

Unfortunately, I cannot merely stop thinking about stopping M. Resisting the temptation to M still requires very conscious effort for me! I've gotten better, yes. But I am not at a point where M has completely ceased being a temptation -- indeed, every time I go to bed, I become a little bit paranoid that one false move will cause me to fall into M. (Nights are the worst time for me. x.x)

Uh, what was my point again? Oh, right, I cannot merely stop thinking about M. That was my point. Maybe it's different for old people like you, but we twenty-year-olds are still n00bs to this game! >=3

Not to be rude to you by calling you old, of course, SP1. <3

[Aleolus]

I totally identify with everything you said here. When one is in the mindless "P-frenzy", one cares not a fig for anything else. It's only when that particular attack is over that one is able to think more clearly. Unfortunately, the first thoughts to come at this point are intense guilt and remorse. The only advice I can give about computer P is how I myself beat it. Just remember one simple thing: sooner or later, it totally screws up your computer.

Lol, so true! I have had to reformat this computer twice so far due to problems, that can most likely be traced back to viruses I got from 'p' sites. First it would only start in Safe Command Prompt Mode (Safe Mode, which you can only use the DOS Command Prompt window), then later my TCP/IP protocols stopped responding!

By the way, why have people on here been abbreviating things as M, or P, or H? Isn't it simpler to simply say masturbation, pornography or hentai, rather than hope people can figure it out from the context?

[K. Ayato]

For some it might be, Aleolus, but there are a few of us here that can't bring themselves to say those words for the time being. Not that it's wrong to spell it all out, mind you.

[Okami]

By the way, why have people on here been abbreviating things as M, or P, or H? Isn't it simpler to simply say masturbation, pornography or hentai, rather than hope people can figure it out from the context?

For me, at the beginning of this thread, I couldn't spell out 'masturbation' without it being a temptation to me, so I used 'M' as a replacement.

I'd assume it's the same for everyone else; but I cannot speak for them.

[mathgrant]

I can say the M-word, but I don't want to tempt people who might be weaker by spelling it out entirely. *shrugs* D:

[SP1]

To clarify, I am currently on day 14 without M, although I had achieved 60 days in a row not long ago. If I successfully uphold this covenant to be M-free for the rest of the year, that'll make 70 days! =D

Unfortunately, I cannot merely stop thinking about stopping M. Resisting the temptation to M still requires very conscious effort for me! I've gotten better, yes. But I am not at a point where M has completely ceased being a temptation -- indeed, every time I go to bed, I become a little bit paranoid that one false move will cause me to fall into M. (Nights are the worst time for me. x.x)

Uh, what was my point again? Oh, right, I cannot merely stop thinking about M. That was my point. Maybe it's different for old people like you, but we twenty-year-olds are still n00bs to this game! >=3

Not to be rude to you by calling you old, of course, SP1. <3

Well just shoot me or put me out to pasture. >.<

I didn't mean to stop thinking about it entirely, like that's going to happen regardless of age. I just meant that you shouldn't dwell on it by constantly reminding yourself to NOT do it. That just reinforces the concept (to your brain, the images you use to tell yourself not to M are basically the same is M itself. it basically ignores the NOT part). You don't have to do this either way, I was just trying to give you some ammo to clear up the undesirable dreams.

[mathgrant]

I didn't mean to stop thinking about it entirely, like that's going to happen regardless of age. I just meant that you shouldn't dwell on it by constantly reminding yourself to NOT do it. That just reinforces the concept (to your brain, the images you use to tell yourself not to M are basically the same is M itself. it basically ignores the NOT part). You don't have to do this either way, I was just trying to give you some ammo to clear up the undesirable dreams.

*nods* I guess that makes sense. Maybe I should try to find a little more balance. *shrugs* Sorry if I've been a whippersnapper.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

I didn't mean to stop thinking about it entirely, like that's going to happen regardless of age. I just meant that you shouldn't dwell on it by constantly reminding yourself to NOT do it. That just reinforces the concept (to your brain, the images you use to tell yourself not to M are basically the same is M itself. it basically ignores the NOT part). You don't have to do this either way, I was just trying to give you some ammo to clear up the undesirable dreams.

Well said. In my experience, stumbling comes when all my thoughts are focused on resisting the temptation, while victory comes when they're on what God wants me to be doing instead. He can't help what thoughts fly into our head without warning, but we can help dwelling on them, even if it is to say"NO" over and over.

...I feel I need to clarify something, if only to attempt to ease my mind. In my request for prayer, I mentioned that I have (several times, now) had pornographic thoughts going through my mind while listening to pastors/preachers/priests, whatever you want to call them, teach about God and the bible. What frightens me somewhat is that I feel no guilt or shame about this. I feel nothing remorseful when browsing porn online, nor do I have any problem with Christianity and pornography coexisting, which I know is not right! I have even (not right now, thankfully) had adult material open in one tab, with this site here open in another! That fact frightens me somewhat, and worries me.

Well, speaking again from personal experience, GUILT is not something you should want to be feeling. Yes, the Holy Spirit brings CONVICTION over sin, and it often has guilty feelings attached, but that's to bring about repentance and change. Just feeling guilty and miserable over sin and beating yourself up over it won't make things better. If anything, it'll make things worse by sending your emotions on a downward spiral. Christ has already borne the guilt of all or sins, and while that's not a license to continue in them, it does mean that we're not being more Christ-like by being depressed.

But I think there's something else about lust that those of us struggling with it can often forget. This temptation is so hard to resist because, at its root, it's appealing to something that is not n itself bad. Sex is not a sick, creepy thing that we should avoid at all costs. God created it to be a beautiful, desirable, beneficial thing IN THE WAY HE INTENDED IT, and no matter how unnatural or depraved the object of temptation may be, it's ultimately still appealing to that normal desire. So, in that respect, it isn't weird to not feel guilty, it'd be a little unnatural to. Of course, there's also the fact that the objects of lustful temptation are often (if not USUALLY) deliberately straying from God's design, and THAT'S why we have to be concerned about it.

The point of that ramble is pretty much the same as the bit up top. We shouldn't try to overcome lust just because it's bad, because the sneakiness of the temptation lies in its ability to avoid our shame reflexes. Rather, we should keep our thoughts on how much BETTER God's design actually is, especially since that'll always work better than beating ourselves up.

[Okami]

Some online friends of mine and I have made a covenant/commitment amongst ourselves not to M for the entire rest of the year. It is not an easy covenant to keep for any of us, but we have encouraged and talked with each other a lot. We've even begun to use "08!" as a term of encouragement. With God on our sides, we will make it! =D

Man, I think I need to join in on this covenant thing; I've downfallen so hard in the past week. It's becoming a habit for me again, even though it isn't what it once was--I can't let it take recontrol! No!

God, help me to cling to You, not what my body desires...

[Aleolus]

Well, speaking again from personal experience, GUILT is not something you should want to be feeling. Yes, the Holy Spirit brings CONVICTION over sin, and it often has guilty feelings attached, but that's to bring about repentance and change. Just feeling guilty and miserable over sin and beating yourself up over it won't make things better. If anything, it'll make things worse by sending your emotions on a downward spiral. Christ has already borne the guilt of all or sins, and while that's not a license to continue in them, it does mean that we're not being more Christ-like by being depressed.

But I think there's something else about lust that those of us struggling with it can often forget. This temptation is so hard to resist because, at its root, it's appealing to something that is not n itself bad. Sex is not a sick, creepy thing that we should avoid at all costs. God created it to be a beautiful, desirable, beneficial thing IN THE WAY HE INTENDED IT, and no matter how unnatural or depraved the object of temptation may be, it's ultimately still appealing to that normal desire. So, in that respect, it isn't weird to not feel guilty, it'd be a little unnatural to. Of course, there's also the fact that the objects of lustful temptation are often (if not USUALLY) deliberately straying from God's design, and THAT'S why we have to be concerned about it.

The point of that ramble is pretty much the same as the bit up top. We shouldn't try to overcome lust just because it's bad, because the sneakiness of the temptation lies in its ability to avoid our shame reflexes. Rather, we should keep our thoughts on how much BETTER God's design actually is, especially since that'll always work better than beating ourselves up.

I understand all that, however, the thoughts that I was referring to are clearly sinful in nature, strongly rooted in (to use the terminology of this forum) P and H, with few, if any, appropriate concepts to them. And the thing that frightens me is that I feel nothing about those thoughts, be it guilt, conviction, repentance, anything. I try to stop them because I know that they are thoughts that God does not approve of, but still, there is no emotional reaction whatsoever. I can recall a time where I was listening to a pastor on the radio and thinking about four or five different P things I had come across, and it was a good five minutes before I realized what I was doing.

[Momo-P]

Obviously you do what you wish Aleolus, but just my two cents.

Just pray to God to sway your heart. Just tell Him you know you should feel some guilt or wrongness about what you're doing, but don't. Ask Him to make you care! Sure it sounds a little strange and perhaps corny, but do you think He won't do it? I know there were times I felt like I didn't care enough about things so I did that. What happened? He got me out of them.

So like I said, it may sound strange, and it may not be a big deal, but just ask Him to make you care. Make you care about sinning! Maybe not make you beat yourself up, but have enough guilt to knock it off.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

I understand all that, however, the thoughts that I was referring to are clearly sinful in nature, strongly rooted in (to use the terminology of this forum) P and H, with few, if any, appropriate concepts to them. And the thing that frightens me is that I feel nothing about those thoughts, be it guilt, conviction, repentance, anything. I try to stop them because I know that they are thoughts that God does not approve of, but still, there is no emotional reaction whatsoever. I can recall a time where I was listening to a pastor on the radio and thinking about four or five different P things I had come across, and it was a good five minutes before I realized what I was doing.

Oh, I see. In that case, I really can't offer any deep sounding observations because I struggle with this same thing a lot. It's just habit, ya know? These things have been forcing their way into my thoughts so long that many times their presence just feels, well, normal. Hence, so guilt. As near as I can understand it, the only way this sort of thing can ultimately go away is to build new, non-lustful habits and unlearn the old ones. Unfortunately, that's the sort of thing that takes a LONG time, and like I said, I'm struggling with it almost daily. But hey, look at it this way: the fact that you recognize that there's something wrong with not feeling anything is itself a step in the right direction, right? If you just plain didn't care at ALL, then this wouldn't even be an issue!

Obviously you do what you wish Aleolus, but just my two cents.

Just pray to God to sway your heart. Just tell Him you know you should feel some guilt or wrongness about what you're doing, but don't. Ask Him to make you care! Sure it sounds a little strange and perhaps corny, but do you think He won't do it? I know there were times I felt like I didn't care enough about things so I did that. What happened? He got me out of them.

So like I said, it may sound strange, and it may not be a big deal, but just ask Him to make you care. Make you care about sinning! Maybe not make you beat yourself up, but have enough guilt to knock it off.

Well said!

[Okami]

Still praying for all of you.

Just wanted to let you all know that the M is slowly becoming habitual again, fell again about half an hour ago. I'm torn between three desires, two being sin, the third being Jesus. I feel like I'm just falling further into the rut while I'm trying to pull my way out. Two against One doesn't seem all too fair, but I know Jesus can overpower these things in my life....it's all a matter of letting Him.

[Aleolus]

...Well, I suppose we could all be happy we aren't where this guy is (granted, he's fictional, but the point is valid)

http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2627

[TriezGamer]

Slightly crude, but accurate to how I feels sometimes.

I've been struggling for the last week a lot (M).

[roadoffew]

Things have gotten pretty rotten in my attempt to give up hentai. I've decided to fast until 6:30pm on friday. I'll only be drinking what is left of the dr pepper in the fridge and water. I'll try to get at least one prayer time a day. Keep me in your prayers.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

I hope it helps.

And I'm still praying for you Okami!

[Aleolus]

...You know, I'm thinking that I might be under attack, actually. The more I try to 'feed' myself, spiritually, the harder it gets to resist the temptation to go and look at pornographic material. It seems somewhat bizarre, but it's true.

[K. Ayato]

Still praying, dude.

[Momo-P]

...You know, I'm thinking that I might be under attack, actually. The more I try to 'feed' myself, spiritually, the harder it gets to resist the temptation to go and look at pornographic material. It seems somewhat bizarre, but it's true.

I don't think that sounds bizarre at all. You're trying to be good and follow God, right? Well the devil ain't liking that. It only makes sense that he's going to work extra hard to make you sin.

Just tell him to shove off and keep praying to God. Remember, God would never let you be tempted beyond what you can stand.

[Taran]

I've had some trouble with looking at porn, and it became an addiction and then I started mastubating, and i'm currently a week without masturbating and porn but I really want to stay clean this time because i've tried to stop before and i just couldn't, and i guess thats my story so some prayer would be nice.

[Aleolus]

You are in good company here, Taran! You shall have all the prayer you desire, and then more beyond that!

[Taran]

Thanks!!!!

[Htom Sirveaux]

I've just started reading Glenn Beck's new book, "An Inconvenient Book: Real Solutions to the World's Biggest Problems." I bring this up because in the second chapter there's an interesting bit about porn. A great book anyway, but an unexpected and (from my perspective) welcome section to it in there.