^_^ Hey everybody...
I'm ashamed, really. . . not in any of you. I am very proud of all of you, and I am sad to say that it's taken me so long to even post here. Ugh. Where could I even begin.
My story is similar to Okami's, different time, different place...same state
, but really, we're going through something similar. I have a lot of M issues; in the past, some H issues, and am rather addicted to P... I don't know if some of those letterings have been used here, but hey, use your imagination, to the best of your mature, non-lustful ability ^^!!;; (...if I say it, the temptation...will probably kill me. I'm trying here, guys, but I'm only one woman!)
Anyway the reason for this change in me is because many of my more...lustful sins ( M u.u, mainly) are keeping me form doing what I want to do in life. As of a few months ago I really, really dedicated myself to learning about Christ and the Bible...which is something that I haven't been able to do for a very long time. Aside from digging up that history, I'll just say that even more recently I've been trying to make the change stick: work on my prayer life, read the scripture, etc, but the lust issue is dragging me down. I had a bad night a few weeks back and got so angry and confuzzled that I dissed God pretty bad. After that, I was just scared...
But now, after some extensive scripture reading and advice from my CAA pals, I realized that being a Christian really isn't an on and off thing. There's good days and bad days, but hey... In Christ, I can do ALL things, yes? ^^ Nonetheless, the temptation still tries to drag me down sometimes. You've been there, so you know how it is, but for me as a new Christian, it's almost unbearable to think that Christ is giving me this awesome gift and I'm just haphazardly 'throwing it away' almost to my lust.
I want to be a pure, loving Christian woman but GAAHH these temptations are so difficult. Pray for mee...