General Lust Prayer Thread (WARNING: Mature Content)

Make prayer requests or praise God in this forum. If you log out you make anonymous requests. However, your posts will be reviewed before they appear.

General Lust Prayer Thread (WARNING: Mature Content)

Postby Okami » Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:00 pm

It seems time after time we're continueously getting threads in here asking for prayers for lust-related topics.

Well, I decided to create a place where we can all gather as one and share our stories with our struggles, temptations, and addictions.

Whether you struggle with porn and hentai or something of a completely different lustful nature; if you feel the need, please come forward and confess, ask for prayer, and recieve encouragement from other members with the same problem as you!


Let's make this a good experience for some friendly gathering of prayer and encouragement, shall we?

Let me begin with a prayer,
Father God, I thank you for each individual who comes into this thread. Whether it be to tell of their stories and get some help from people in the same situation as them or just to come pray and encourage those who have been trapped by lust, I thank you. Remind each person that they are not alone in this fight, that there are many of us here at CAA and all around the world in their position of struggle and temptation. And Lord, please give us the faith to stand strong, to stand firm! If we're coming here to confess, we obviously want some help. So please help us out of this ditch we've fallen in to! Help us to see the warning signs well ahead so we can get out when the situation gets sticky. Help us to stay alert! We need to fix our eyes and thoughts upon what is pure and admirable! What is right and lovely! Everything that is excellent and worthy of praise, may that be where our thoughts and eyes are fixed. Upon You, Precious Jesus. It's by Your blood, that we are saved. You will purify us and make us clean and whole and new again, if only we would confess, repent, and turn back to You. This is what I pray, oh God, that we would have the courage to turn away from our fleshly desires and lusts of the youth, turning to You for all help.

May this prayer thread create new relationships, new friendships, and accountability partners. May we use this thread always as a help to ourselves and to those around us also lost in the struggle of the flesh.

Help us, Lord, we cry to You our Redeemer!
In Jesus' precious and holy name,
Amen!



Here's my thread on my addiction: http://www.christiananime.net/showthread.php?t=43258
(and if you have a thread, please feel free to post it!)


[SIZE="4"]Scriptures that have helped me out[/SIZE]:
[SIZE="1"](that I think might help you out too)[/SIZE]


Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation.
For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!
~ Matthew 26:41

I can do all things through
CHRIST who strengthens me.
~Philippians 4:13

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience.
And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand.
When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.
~ 1 Corinthians 10:13

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil.
He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.
Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith.
Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world
are going through the same kind of suffering you are.
In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus.
So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you,
and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power to him forever! Amen.
~ 1 Peter 5:8-11

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial,
because when he has stood the test,
he will receive the crown of life that God
has promised to those who love him.
~ James 1:12

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.
Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable,
and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.
Think about things that are excellent and
worthy of praise.
~ Philippians 4:8

Teach me Your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to Your truth!
Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor You.
~ Psalm 86:11

Letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death.
But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.
~ Romans 8:6

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me—
now let me rejoice.
Don’t keep looking at my sins.
Remove the stain of my guilt.
Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Do not banish me from your presence,
and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.
~ Psalm 51:7-11 (quite honestly, the entire chapter is amazing for this problem)

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me.
Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.
But take heart, because I have overcome the world.â€
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
User avatar
Okami
 
Posts: 1771
Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
Location: Michigan

Postby skylender » Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:20 pm

Well.....

i do...have serious problems regarding..porn and hentai, i feel like such a failiure....
Image
User avatar
skylender
 
Posts: 87
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:25 am
Location: somewhere in donutland..

Postby Okami » Wed Aug 15, 2007 3:47 am

*hugs* N'aw, JayJay.

Father God, I lift my buddy, JayJay up to You this morning that You would be his strength and his shield to fight this problem, and to help him see that this struggle is not his own to deal with. It's in Your hands. Please help him when Satan attacks, and especially in the aftermath of these things, God, don't we all feel like we've failed? He isn't alone, God. I've been there...and now I just want to help out a friend.
In Your eyes we aren't failures, no, not if we are confessing, not if we're coming out of our shells, breaking down the walls of our hearts, trying to recieve some help and attention from those around us. Even if it is at an online prayer thread. That's still a start and a beginning. In Your eyes we are warriors with a mission: to help others. But it isn't by ourselves that we recieve our power, but by Your name that we can overcome.
Please help him to overcome, and to stand in Your presence in triumph and praise, being a clean and white and pure being.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen!
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
User avatar
Okami
 
Posts: 1771
Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
Location: Michigan

Postby Themanofchrist » Wed Aug 15, 2007 10:46 am

I am the bone of my sword
Steel is my body and fire is my blood
I have created over a thousand blades
Unknown to death
Nor known to life
Have withstood pain to create many weapons
Yet these hands shall never hold anything
So, as I pray, "Unlimited Blade Works"
Note: The chant for Unlimited Blade Works (UBW)
User avatar
Themanofchrist
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Tue Aug 31, 2004 8:00 pm
Location: Where it rains........

Postby Themanofchrist » Wed Aug 15, 2007 2:39 pm

Lam 3:17-26- This helped for my depression
I am the bone of my sword
Steel is my body and fire is my blood
I have created over a thousand blades
Unknown to death
Nor known to life
Have withstood pain to create many weapons
Yet these hands shall never hold anything
So, as I pray, "Unlimited Blade Works"
Note: The chant for Unlimited Blade Works (UBW)
User avatar
Themanofchrist
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Tue Aug 31, 2004 8:00 pm
Location: Where it rains........

Postby skylender » Wed Aug 15, 2007 3:30 pm

<mod snipped>


Wow thanks okami:hug:

Hmm some scriptures that have helped me sometimes are..

Passage Proverbs 6:20:

Warning Against Adultery

20 My son, keep your father's commands
and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

21 Bind them upon your heart forever;
fasten them around your neck.

22 When you walk, they will guide you;
when you sleep, they will watch over you;
when you awake, they will speak to you.

23 For these commands are a lamp,
this teaching is a light,
and the corrections of discipline
are the way to life,

24 keeping you from the immoral woman,
from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.

25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes,

26 for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread,
and the adulteress preys upon your very life.

27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?

28 Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?

29 So is he who sleeps with another man's wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished.

30 Men do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.

31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,
though it costs him all the wealth of his house.

32 But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment;
whoever does so destroys himself.

33 Blows and disgrace are his lot,
and his shame will never be wiped away;

34 for jealousy arouses a husband's fury,
and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.

35 He will not accept any compensation;
he will refuse the bribe, however great it is.
Image
User avatar
skylender
 
Posts: 87
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:25 am
Location: somewhere in donutland..

Postby Amzi Live » Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:43 pm

I can't believe I'm doing this.Um,I'm um,well,yeah I've been fighting with this same problem,and practically no one knows about it.Still I thank God cause I've been learning to run away from it,since the Bible says too run away from this temptation(2 Thimothy2:22,1Corithians6:18).So as you can probably know I'm rather reluctant on pressing the Submit Reply button right now. I would love to say that I'm totally cool,and have never seen hentai or porn,but I'm guilty.Still in 2Timothy2:22 it says(Flee also youthful lusts;but pursue righteousness,faith,love,peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.)so maybe we can do just that. 1 Corinthians 10:13 is one of the verses I first used for tempting situations.
[font="Arial Narrow"] Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name. Psalm86:11[/font]
Proud lurker? Join MOES,and help us stay cool.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
User avatar
Amzi Live
 
Posts: 360
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 3:12 pm
Location: I walk in fields,forests,and cities of sound ♪♫♫♪

Postby Amzi Live » Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:54 pm

Oh yeah!Heh!This once I was alone at home,and I literally burst running out of my house into the street for approximately three blocks to flee from the temptation.:grin:That actually was pretty fun,knowing that I was able to flee this time literally.
[font="Arial Narrow"] Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name. Psalm86:11[/font]
Proud lurker? Join MOES,and help us stay cool.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
User avatar
Amzi Live
 
Posts: 360
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 3:12 pm
Location: I walk in fields,forests,and cities of sound ♪♫♫♪

Postby Okami » Thu Aug 16, 2007 4:10 am

Father God, I come to You now with Themanofchrist lifted up in prayer for his reoccuring struggle with pornography and hentai. I realize just how much strength it takes to even confess something like this, even if it is on the 'Net. Thank You for giving him the strength to come to us, Lord. Please show him a way out of this hole and how to ditch the sin. Remind him whenever he feels tempted that you are there, watching, and that he can run into Your arms when the temptations come at full-force. You've taught me that much in the past month, it's worked for me, so why not the others in the same situation? Run if you must, but always stay alert, TMOC! Your arms are the perfect place to run, Father, to Your Word when we feel helpless to control the situation by our own means.
Thank You for this Brother, Lord....
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen!
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
User avatar
Okami
 
Posts: 1771
Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
Location: Michigan

Postby Gabriel 9.0 » Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:53 pm

Well the enemy is always tempting me to lose my virginity before I meet and marry the right woman...:(
User avatar
Gabriel 9.0
 
Posts: 736
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:57 pm
Location: Classified

Postby ~darkelfgirl~ » Thu Aug 16, 2007 4:55 pm

I'll pray for you guys too. I pray God will give you guys the strength to fight through this temptation.
[color=purple][font=Tahoma][color=royalblue]"But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."--[/color]Isaiah 40:31
Image
[/font]
[/color]
User avatar
~darkelfgirl~
 
Posts: 720
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2007 2:01 pm
Location: In the depths of your feeble mind!

Postby Danderson » Thu Aug 16, 2007 6:48 pm

A while back (when I was just figuring out the internet...I was possibly 11 or 12), and I had a hard time ignoring porn, and sometimes I did run into H...But eventually, through God's help alone, it no longer has power over me.....
....Though, becuase I'm still human (dang it), that doesn't mean that I'm never going to be tempted ever again....

....I'd like to encourage each of you....If you have Christ living within you, then this stuff doesn't have to have control over you at all...And if you're bored and are really feeling tempted, seriously try doing something that get's you're mind back on God. Whether it be writing songs or poems (or entire novels), or just turning on some praise music and singing along, use these things as a way out....

The battles already been won guys....But it's you're choice to accept that victory or not....
User avatar
Danderson
 
Posts: 1277
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:42 pm
Location: The Middle of the USA

Postby Alexander » Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:39 pm

Grand idea to make this topic Okami. *hands cookie*

I'm still fighting it myself, and it doesn't seem my battle will be over for quite a bit of time unless I can finally find someone in that place called "the real world".

P.S. It's really nice of you to pray for everyone who posts here. *hands another cookie*
<img src="patent pending.jpg"></p>
<p>Signature in progress</p>
User avatar
Alexander
 
Posts: 877
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2007 12:42 am
Location: Sometimes I wish I honestly knew.

Postby Okami » Fri Aug 17, 2007 5:46 am

Gaah, I haven't been keeping up w/ my prayers >.< </procrastination-laziness> So to improve on that, I'm going to do a couple of them in one post, hope you guys don't mind (just so I'm not taking up space here)
:thumb:


Father God, I come to you today with Amzi Live lifted in prayer for his struggles. I must thank and praise You for allowing him to press the Reply button and telling us of his problem and his victory. And just as he mentioned he literally fled from his house before, I think more of us ned to be willing to do this. Sometimes we just sit and allow ourselves to 'go through the motions' and we don't even think of leaving the seat we're sitting in, so we take it. We shouldn't have to be force-fed something we don't want, right? Lord, pleas help all of us to follow this example and run, flee! Lust is a tough situation to handle alone, but it's in Your hands, and through You, just as Danderson mentioned, this battle has been won, and the victory is ours to have! Father, please continue to be with Amzi through the temptations and struggle, and I know if he has faith, he will come through many trials unscathed!
In Jesus' name,
Amen!

Father God,
I lift up in prayer right now another close friend of mine, Gabriel 9.0, or as I know him better, Prince. I know that this especially is hard. (I've been there, tempted to lose my virginity to a man before marriage) Sex is so over-glorified in this day and age, it's literally everywhere. Lord, I just ask You to be there with Prince, to lift him up, and allow him to find the right woman and not fall to anyone less than her. Please help him to stray from anything that might be in his path that will throw him overboard....to keep walking in Your light while looking for his future wife. I know that You'll be with him, Lord.
in Jesus' name,
Amen!

and Lord, I just have to thank You for ~darkelfgirl~ and Danderson, for coming to pray for us and encourage us. The temptations, struggles, wars, addictions and battles...they're all in Your hands. You and You alone can take care of us and our problems. Praise You for people willing to help out!!

And of course, Lord, I have to thank You for my new friend, Alec.
Just as I prayed in his thread, help him to stay alert as he fights and flees from the temptation. You know him much better than I do, Father, and I pray that You will lift him up and help him to turn from his problem. There's not much more I can ask for that You've already begun to give, or ahve already given. Thank You for allowing him to talk to his parents, and then make the decision to get away from it!
in Jesus' name I pray,
Amen!


My full story will be up here within the next couple of days to a week or so, I need to find time to write it and think upon it, because I want it to be effective (as I know it's a powerful story) but I don't want it to be too disturbing or graphic. :sweat: Keep a lookout!
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
User avatar
Okami
 
Posts: 1771
Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
Location: Michigan

Postby Okami » Mon Aug 20, 2007 10:23 am

This will be a long post, containing my story. I pray it doesn't tempt any of you and it won't be overwhelmingly graphic...

I’m going to be replacing a certain word with “Mâ€
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
User avatar
Okami
 
Posts: 1771
Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
Location: Michigan

Postby Okami » Mon Aug 20, 2007 10:24 am

Commitments I have made:
~ No more looking at pornographic content
~ Purity until marriage
~ No more M (this one is especially hard)
~ Not going back to DeviantART, because of its content (many people were wondering why I quit, well there ya have it)
~ Day-by-day, step-by-step, I’m going to make it another month, then another, then another, try to make that a year, and then beyond from there. I want God to lead me there.

If you have any questions regarding this story, please feel free to PM me.
(and Mods, if this has been too much...feel free to delete it)
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
User avatar
Okami
 
Posts: 1771
Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
Location: Michigan

Postby Gabriel 9.0 » Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:40 pm

Thanks for praying for me Okami, it really helps:).


I read some of your story above. I plan to finish reading it later this week. But it looks like you went through a lot of things.
User avatar
Gabriel 9.0
 
Posts: 736
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:57 pm
Location: Classified

Postby LadyRushia » Mon Aug 20, 2007 7:07 pm

Great testimony, Okami. Thanks for sharing; I'll be praying for you and everyone else in this thread. Keep standing strong ^_~
Fanfiction (updated 1/1/11)-- Lucky Star--Ginsaki ch. 4
[color="Magenta"]Sometimes I post things.[/color]
Image Image Image
User avatar
LadyRushia
 
Posts: 3075
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:38 pm
Location: In a dorm room/a house.

Postby Alexander » Mon Aug 20, 2007 11:38 pm

My own story is mixed with heartache, fear, sadness, self-hatred, and hope.

Whether I was 11 or 10 I can't remember. But because I remember me being in this for 8 years, I would have been 10. I regret that my first exposure was in "the classic boy way". The story of two boys looking into an adult magazine. I had fallen in the trap when one of my friends said he had one of these magazines, I looked into it perhaps for curiosity or because I was young and couldn't discern it. Either way, I looked, and was hooked. Well, actually, it stopped itself for over a year when my dad had found out early and put a stop to it without trying. I was so scared and embarrassed when he found out that I didn't need a second warning.

When I was 12 it fell apart again, and nearly become schizophrenic (not the proper word, but I felt like my whole body and mind was going to fall apart) when I was 13. I had actually known what sex was as young as 10 (I had heard of it being spoken on television, and I wanted to know what it meant so I looked into the dictionary). But at age 12 I had really fully understood just what sex was, and it also started my situation with M (such a disgraceful word). At first I didn't think anything of it because I didn't even know what it was. So I kept doing it without a second thought. That changed quickly when I had, either under God's hand (most likely) or my own self thought (very unlikely) M quickly became linked to not only pornography but a series of memories being flashed when I had to go through that horrid education.

Excuse me, I'm getting ahead of myself. When I was 13, I first learned about, in full detail, what sex was through one of the worst ways possible: a family crises. My sister was expecting, but she wasn't married. And that made my parents very, VERY upset. Without very much effort I learned everything, and it only made me scared of growing up and the whole concept. Partially just for the grossness factor, and the other half being my sister had done something wrong. I couldn't even grasp all that was happening, only that my parents were disappointed, so I felt scared of this new whatever it was.

Today I believe that pressure, feeling of brokenness, and my own fear was what deepened me into M and pornography, but not pornography, Hentai. I couldn't handle real world people, so I went to the other unwillingly. Which only furthered my pain and self guilt while, another source, only fueled it.

Even today, if someone be it a person or a source of information goes into too much depth about anything concerned sex both bad and good, it will influence me easily to do the wrong thing. Whether it's best I leave it be and don't focus on it or face my fear is up to me. But again, I'm getting ahead of myself.

When I was 14, I had to go through my first sex education. If I were to put the whole situation in one word, it would simply be: poison. I didn't like it for three reasons. The first was I was being forced to study something I was uncomfortable with, AND answer questions about all the wrong ways to do it (the situation with my sister didn't help). The second was that I had to learn everything about a girl's anatomy, which both either fueled my curiosity too far or pushed me into situations I didn't want to study. Some of the images still haunt me today. The last part was the in-depth study of how a boy's special organs work. I felt sickened to a point that I skipped as much as I needed. But it essentially only made my condition worse. At one point I would look at Hentai without even a second thought because I felt if these people would show illustrations of people naked, what makes Hentai wrong?

Eventually, through a good friend and a lot of time spent with God, I was able to learn the true meaning of what separated sex from pornography, and I was stable again. For a short time.

Another adversary, this one who had actually been working in all my life was slowly tearing me apart.

Loneliness.

As I've stated on the forum, I have Asperger's syndrome. And one thing a lot of aspies have trouble with is keeping friends, and when we don't have friends, we can face years being alone. I've been in this period for 2 1/2 years, and its had drastic affects on me.

Loneliness can make you think all sorts of terrible things about yourself. You start to look for anything you can about yourself and try to answer why people don't like you. Or why you can't make new people. Since I turned 15, I've wanted to stop growing up. And I continue to want that today. I felt that grown ups were distant from certain things I loved, and I didn't want that to change. Among that, other people were growing up and at faster rates then me. I felt distant, and that led to self-hatred. With Hentai only deepening it. I knew Hentai was sinful, and because I was both committing a sin and failing to attract anyone at me, I began to believe I was a horrible monster. And I started to fear any next move I was going to make in my daily life, while I continued to aimlessly wander looking for friendship.

This period I'm still in a bit, but I'm a lot better then what I used to be. While I'm still having trouble accepting the Alexander I am, my fighting with H is a very up and down situation, finding friends outside the internet has still provided no luck, and my faith in God has been waining to the point that I can't hear or feel connected to him, I have faith that I can turn back and become the person I really want to be. A servant of God.

Currently the changes I've made include joining this forum, trying to accept myself little by little, moving to a new church as an attempt to get closer to my faith and increase the possibility of finding a RL friend, telling my parents about my problem which has led to a lot more determination from them and myself.

However, I still need an accountability partner, and I might go so far to choose Okami for that. She and I both seem to be on the same level of this, and I need someone with me at least twice a day for encouragement.

P.S. I did install a block on my computer for a short time, but I had to remove it as it was blocking the site that linked to my online schooling program, and we didn't have time to change it. But I feel I need to increase my will power against this without a block from the start.
<img src="patent pending.jpg"></p>
<p>Signature in progress</p>
User avatar
Alexander
 
Posts: 877
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2007 12:42 am
Location: Sometimes I wish I honestly knew.

Postby Okami » Tue Aug 21, 2007 2:49 pm

Of course, Prince! Thats' all I wanna do, help my friends here <3

Thanks 'Rushia :hug: I was hoping my testimony could really reach people. Looks like it has, so it's serving its purpose well :D


Aww, and Alec, I would be absolutely honored to be your accountability partner. ^_^

As I've said before, anyone who wishes to, feel free to PM me~
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
User avatar
Okami
 
Posts: 1771
Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
Location: Michigan

Postby CatR41103 » Sun Aug 26, 2007 10:55 am

kind of cool you did this thread and it's nice to hear that you're getting over your problem. i'm glad you left DA. that place is starting to become horrible in general. i hate that place.

guess you know i've been having problems myself as well, but they are starting to clear up. it's about time i post it so i can get a prayer from you.

my issue are just bad memories i had during high school. my boyfriend and i took a 'break' from our relationship...though the day we started our break, he asked another girl out...and well, since he did, i asked a guy out, but online (never do online dating, it doesn't work out). i saw them hug and he had his arms around her sometimes...my heart tored in many pieces and my online boyfriend didn't help any...i felt like suicide...i thought about it a lot. what was the reason for living if the one you love doesn't love you? but i never hurt myself...

he broke up with her and got back to me, i was happy as a kitty on crack. but the memories of him being with her struck me a lot and at night i would cry, a lot.

ever since we got back together, i hated the girl my boyfriend went out with; her name is dayna mitchell. she hated me too but said "she didn't hate me no more" what a lie. apprently my boyfriend believed her, that made me even more sad. during senior year she told a lie about me to my boyfriend. he didn't believe her of course but by that time, she already was screwing up her life and becoming a B.

Before senior year, dayna's younger sister told my boyfriend to not tell me to come along to a game place to play pool...he told me and we never went.

there's a brief summary of one part of my issue. that time when we broke up and him being with her...i sometimes cried during senior year because we sat at a table where she sat and she would always come and talk to my boyfriend...but during 2nd semister i started to get angry and almost lost it when she was talking to our friends...i swear, i was about to yell and punch her in the face. but i didn't, my boyfriend knew and we went outside.

i still hate her and sometimes those memories still come back to haunt me. i cry when they do and i plea for help because they scare me and hurt me so much...

my 2nd issue is drawing. i use to draw anime. i started late 7th, early 8th (because of a friend so i wanted to do it too) and just kept doing it until juinor year of high school.

by the time i started to draw was the same time i started to become a anime fangirl. around april, my boyfriend asked me out. i said yes. but through out high school years up till juinor year, i was obsessed with drawing and anime...my boyfriend got mad. he liked it too, but not as much as me.

that is the reason he wanted to take a break...i was too obsessed with drawing and anime that i didn't care about him...what i idiot i was.

i too was on DA but my boyfriend told me to leave. he told me to stop drawing too. that was hard.

but all through senior year i didn't draw nor watch anime.

i'm happy now.

i see the things my boyfriend has been telling me all these years. drawing and anime was blocking my view! our love that senior year was so strong than ever that i really gave up on drawing and anime just so i can have more of that love.

i know a lot of you are going to hate me for saying this but i'm going to say it anyway: anime and drawing sucks.

anime and drawing ruined my relationship, it ruined my life. i don't care what you say but it almost did. that's the truth. but thanks to the kindness of my boyfriend for loving me no matter what, i still had him and my life.

i sometimes wish i could turn back time and tell myself not to draw or to like anime...that would change things so different, but even if i had the option, i wouldn't. things are good now and i got to live with the memories now. the hurricane has passed, now it's time to clean up.

drawing is for some, but not all. it wasn't for me and what an idiot i was for doing it. anime...well, now that has just become stupid now. it was cool when it was on cartoon network and they edited it but now...bleh, it's not worth my time and now i can't stand watching it. i completely hate it.

ban me, hate me i don't care for saying what i just said. that's my opinion and if yours is different, so what.

so there is my problems, old memories. regreting what i've done in the past. well, i can't change, but i can change the future to make it better. that's what i'm doing. i'm forcing myself to stop thinking about regretting and start thinking forward. i talked to my boyfriend about this issue and it helped me a lot, so now i decide to tell it here (besides, okami would kill me if i didn't lol)

thanks for listening. this issue is not as big as it was before. it has died down but i felt like i should post it here as well.
CatR41103
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2007 11:20 am
Location: Id-e-ho

Postby Okami » Wed Aug 29, 2007 7:03 pm

Quick thank-you to everyone encouraging me at my personal thread. God bless all of you! This war is not over, it may be Day 47, but I'll admit I nearly backslid just a few days ago. I put myself in a compromising situation and really had to fight it to get out...

I just wanted to add a few of my friends to the ever-growing list to pray for. God and I know who these people are, some non-believers, some believers, some here on CAA, others who aren't. For that they might open up and come forth for prayer and healing! It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do, confess to someone the depth of the wounds that cover us. But, as I can testify, it's also the most freeing experience, to have those suffocating chains torn off.

Please keep these unnamed people in prayer, for their individual struggles with lust and it's addicting power.
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
User avatar
Okami
 
Posts: 1771
Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
Location: Michigan

Postby Felix » Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:09 pm

Man, am I guilty =o=; I'm just gonna jump right in.

The big M (no, not McDonalds) is a major monster in my life. To be honest it's much more of a habit than anything else. I rarely even do it to seek pleasure for myself, I just do it habitually like some kind of machine. This, of course, leads me to seek something more. I try to get onto the net and find dirty stuff to... I don't know... enhance my experience, but it never works. It never does.

Of course my computer is so loaded to the teeth with blocks and tracking programs and defenses that I've set up, that I am having less problems with the big P and H, but it's still a big issue, and I can be pretty wily and cunning in my tactics for getting a hold of it.

I wish I could seek God the same way that I seek sin. I'm like a fly hovering around a piece of horse crap o.o.

But I do have accountability, (not nearly enough) and I am doing this less than I did a couple years ago, but it's still a massive stumbling block, and I won't lie and say that I don't need help.

I'll have all of you guys in my prayers, and I hope you'll have me in yours, too. Keep fighting, guys.
User avatar
Felix
 
Posts: 2098
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 10:00 am
Location: Unemployed in Greenland

Postby mathgrant » Thu Aug 30, 2007 10:52 pm

Sheesh, this thread depresses me. To realize that so many people on CAA have all kinds of lust-related problems makes me feel helpless. Okami, I'm so glad you've started this thread, that you may give these struggling people the assistance and love they need to overcome this heavy issue. I myself wage a childhood battle against M. I am quite fearful to go into detail, as I have gone into too much detail before, and I'd rather say too little than risk saying too much again. But even though I am much better off in the M battle now than I was a long time ago, I honestly have not much of a clue how I became better off. As a result, I am a rather useless counselor for these kinds of things. <_<

I suppose I could pray that Okami may continue to be God's tool for helping everyone else with these problems. That, I can do, I think. :)
MOES
Wii: 6324 9743 7460 3573 || WarioWare DIY: 3009 1173 0734
mathgrant
 
Posts: 144
Joined: Sat Jul 28, 2007 11:44 pm
Location: Abilene, TX

Postby Alexander » Fri Aug 31, 2007 12:22 am

The answer of how you got away from it mathgrant is as complex as the reason people like me are so deeply rooted into it.

We really don't know.

I'm afraid I don't have very good news myself. A few days ago I was experiencing horrific pain in my hands and wrists as a result from using a laptop keyboard. While I was in this pain my mind was acting very strange as result. When I was tempted, not only did I not resist (as that would just cause extra strain) but seeked for it simply because it wasn't pain.

Although just because it wasn't pain will never be a proper excuse for it, and I feel even more ashamed that I actually went to it to stop the pain.

The only good news out of this is that I've been so depressed that I haven't looked at H for a week, but I know that won't last nor is it a proper bandage.

Pain can't be used to stop pain.

We have a large youth group at our church, and right now I'm sincerely considering just melting and letting loose all my problems there. I need these human beings now more then ever.
<img src="patent pending.jpg"></p>
<p>Signature in progress</p>
User avatar
Alexander
 
Posts: 877
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2007 12:42 am
Location: Sometimes I wish I honestly knew.

Postby Jingo Jaden » Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:37 am

Guilty one coming in here. Should have jumped on this long ago. The visual stuff is not the problem most times for me, however a 'm' related word is. This is probably the remains of a rather negative development that took place in my past, and I wish I could be stronger and more of a man on this one. *Lust taunts me often* Not that many people I can seek help to here in Norway either. Anyhow thanks for starting this thread, I will sure be praying, and I hope that we can become stronger and resist temptation better. Yeah, I know I am a sorry excuse for a man, but hopefully the future will have other things in store for me.
Of two evils, choose neither - Charles Spurgeon.

Image
User avatar
Jingo Jaden
 
Posts: 2175
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:26 pm
Location: Norway

Postby Okami » Fri Aug 31, 2007 10:58 am

Well guys, I just don't have much time right now...
But I wanted to let everyone know that we're going camping for the weekend, and I'll be back on Monday.

But I had a question. I was thinking of maybe hosting small once-weekly 'sermon-type' posts here on certain topics, like purity and fleeing and things centered around becoming free in Christ from the issue. What do you guys think?
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
User avatar
Okami
 
Posts: 1771
Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
Location: Michigan

Postby creed4 » Fri Aug 31, 2007 11:48 am

keep me in your prayers this is a struggle for me as well
Tis No Fool to lose what he can not keep to gain what he can never lose.
What does it profit a man to gain the World yet lose his soul.
Choose Life that you Might live.
creed4
 
Posts: 1162
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2005 12:40 pm
Location: Meridian

Postby SailorDove » Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:20 pm

Hope you have a fun camping trip! And that's a great idea. It'd probably help quite a few people. Myself included.
Naruto Fanfic: Kokoro of Konoha by Sailor Dove

What is the power of the weak and the weakness of power?

What would the butterfly effects be with an OC with no chakra or ninja inclinations but a coveted special sensing ability? But that's not her only closely guarded secret. Psst, don't tell the hyper blond boy she hates ramen.
User avatar
SailorDove
 
Posts: 598
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:37 pm
Location: State of Peace

Postby LadyRushia » Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:23 pm

Camping=WIN

Yeah, a sermon-thing would be a good idea. I used to hang around that letter 'm' but it just stopped(something I didn't feel like mentioning before). I don't know how I got out of it so easily while you guys are having such a hard time. . .

Anyways, good ol' purity talks are cool. I honestly knew nothing about the biblical perspective until my youth group did a series about it during my freshman year.

Nada till yada! ^_~
Fanfiction (updated 1/1/11)-- Lucky Star--Ginsaki ch. 4
[color="Magenta"]Sometimes I post things.[/color]
Image Image Image
User avatar
LadyRushia
 
Posts: 3075
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:38 pm
Location: In a dorm room/a house.

Next

Return to Prayer Room

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 468 guests