A Christian seeking advice and prayer.

[Alexander]

Good evening once again.

I seem to be asking for advice and prayer quite a few times while not giving as much back. I need to change that soon...

Well, tonight I'm having a major dilemma, possibly the largest in a very, very long time.

You see, I have a very, very had H problem. One I've been struggling with for so many years I can't possibly remember when it started. But today was an especially bad situation.

I had accidentally come upon a site that contained 47,000 images and 5,000 videos, all free, and a forum of over 3,000 writers, artists, anime fans, or just addicts to the filth. The problem for me though was that the temptation of the site went to the same level with The One Ring with Mr. Frodo. And gave the same chilling feeling of looking into the eye of Sauron.

To put in simply, I was in a very bad situation, and I knew I couldn't possibly resist the pull this site was giving me. So, I looked for a physical block. I came upon a program that did exactly what I needed. To block H and nothing else unless I asked for it with no strings attached. Except one.

It costs $40 for permanent use, and I could use the program for 14 days until I made the payment. That wasn't a problem for me. I would be willing to pay the price.

Except one little thing stands between me, my parents.

They don't know I've been under this, nor have I told anyone in the real world about my problem. And even worse, there's no way I can buy something online, at that price, in secret, without my parents knowing.

Any advice would be most accepted. I will say the thought of having to come clean with my parents makes my heart shake worse then falling off a building.

Also, on a lighter note, I'm going to my first Anime con on the 10th of August, and I hope I can make a RL friend there as I haven't had any for over 2 1/2 years. So please pray that I might be able to make one while I'm there.

Thank you so much.

[Seppuku]

i think god really wanted me to read this post.

you see i just screwed up real bad 2 days in a row after being H clean for a long time.

I came across this site which was kinda helpful link for alexander
give it a look through. its helped me understand a good bit.



so let's pray for each other! pray that I don't fall back into it and that we can pull you out of it.


thanks for being so honest.



i think the best thing to do would be read up on it. and to open up about it in a small church group.

[SailorDove]

Dear Alexander,

Though I'm a little older, I still live at home & work with my family. So I can relate to what you're going though about buying something online, etc. My family's pretty close & we just share what comes in.

I know its scary as heck. There's a couple of secrets I've never told my folks too. But, I think you're doing the right thing. You looked for & found an answer to keep that junk out of your face.

Perhaps I might get a lot of slack for saying this. But the issue is to buy the software to keep from being tempted. Not your past. Keep it simple and to the point.

Perhaps just explain to them or which ever one is most comfortable to talk about this with. (Assuming they know you enjoy anime) That they know you like anime, and explain "H" to them as something you really want to avoid. And could we buy this software so I don't have "H" popping into my face when surfing or checking out anime sites online.

You're honestly trying to be responsible and do the right thing. And need their help to do so.

And keep in mind their emotional state before you start talking about it. Timing's important, but you shouldn't wait to long to bring it up. (ie. when everybody's in a good or neutral mood &/or there's talk about computers, viruses, etc.).

Hope that helps a little.

Dear God,

I agree with Alexander in prayer, Please go before him to his parents in regards to buying the software to help him avoid temptation. We all have faults and shortcomings and secret sins too. Please help all the members at CAA, (including me). to overcome them by the power of your Holy Spirit and your Love for us. Also please help him meet and make friends with other Christian Anime fans at the Con.

In Jesus's Name we pray,
Amen

[mathgrant]

*groans*

Alec, I'm an expert on few things. Sexual addiction is not one of them.

I wonder if it'd be possible for you to obtain the program out of someone else's pockets besides your parents'. If somebody else is willing to pay the $40 to help you get through this, then that'd be a great solution. Although one wonders, also, if you really need to be hiding this from your parents. It's a tough place to be. :\

Oh, yeah. And I'll pray about this. Prayer has never been known to hurt.

[K. Ayato]

I know this is scary for you, Alec, but I believe you'll have to be honest with your parents and let them know how serious your addiction is, especially if it's been going on for so long without them even having a clue. We talked about these things online, and I know it's frightening, but in the end, at least you'll know that your parents were informed about it, even if you don't have their respect or support in return. If that happens, you still have us.

I'll be praying, buddy. *Hugs*

[EricTheFred]

As a former kid, I fully understand why you are not bringing this up with your parents.

What pains me, as a parent, is that if my kid were in this predicament, I would want him to come to me about it. I pray I would have the wisdom to help immediately rather than be angry first, but either way, I would ultimately be proud of him for coming to me about it.

I can't speak for your parents, though. You will have to prayerfully consider whether you should speak to them. Whether you tell them or not, though, strive to be the child they expect you to be, and make your decision with that in mind.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

I've heard something along the lines that a lot of those "Blocks" that you pay for don't do that much good.

Either way, this program has been used by many people struggling with the same thing.
http://xxxchurch.com/07/gethelp/x3watch.php

You'll need a couple of accountability partners however.

[Alexander]

Thank you for all your advice and support. Especially from SailorDove and Eric.

I've made up my mind. I'm going to have to tell them. And not only for the benefit of the lock. But to let me unlock this secret problem that I've kept to myself for so many years.

And even though I have heard reports of locks being faulty, I want to just say that this tactic. What I'm doing, is as a last desperate call for help to turn myself away from this. I have done everything from online support groups, time taken off the internet, self-control sessions, talking to those of the opposite gender, and just trying to be outside. Prayer, while something I obviously need to do, is out of my ability as I can barely control my own mind, let alone talk to God.

So, this is what I've decided to do. And what I should have done many years ago. Being open to someone you know is the hardest way to get rid of a sin, but also the most effective.

I plan to talk to them soon.

[K. Ayato]

Praying, buddy. Let us know how it went.

[Tenshi no Ai]

Praying for you... I always see SO many topics made in here dedicated to this problem...

[Okami]

Praying. As you might know, I struggle with the same...sexual sins...those who told you to get some Accountability Partners have the right idea. I went to CIY a few weeks back and ended up confessing (VERY painfully) to my Youth Group, gaining the accountability of all of them, plus three closer friends willing to go 'the extra mile' to help me out. It's been twenty days -officially- since I've been away from those things. Keep your eyes on Jesus and resist the devil, he'll go fleeing. I know from experience.
I also know from experience how hard it is to tell your family...I told my mom and dad after coming home from CIY, and was pretty lucky not to have gotten grounded for forever from the internet You obviously want to quit this habit, this addiction. I'll most certainly be praying. Stay alert! Satan is roaming like a lion looking for someone to devour!!

Father God, please be with Alexander as he goes through this trial; he is not alone through this. Help him to resist the temptations Satan throws at him and to keep his eyes on You, Lord. Help him to stay alert, watching at all times for content that could draw him away again. Remind him, as you have me, that these things start from the things in our heart, that we must keep our thought process genuine and pure, and that our bodies are not our own, but Yours. We are Your Temple, Father. Please help Alec, and all of us, to remain faithful to you, our loving and merciful God. In Jesus' name I pray,
AMEN!

[Danderson]

Well, Alex....all I can think of saying is "you go!"
What you're doing is something I should've done back when I had first ran into that stuff. It really did take awhile before I talked to anyone about it, so, I think you talking about it to someone now is probably the wisest thing you could do....

[AsianBlossom]

Something interesting happened on Sunday: the priest who was doing Mass gave a homily on the papal encyclical Humanae Vitae, or "On Human Life", which discussed the sacredness of sex and human life. So I offered my Mass for everyone out there who is struggling with sins against the 6th Commandment, because this is obviously an area that most people struggle with. It may not be the same circumstances or sins for everyone, but the desires of the flesh are things that everyone must fight.

Alec-kun (is it all right if I call you that?), I'm proud of you for ignoring your fears and getting help from your parents; being silent about something only worsens a problem and doesn't help it at all. Besides, your parents should be able to help you out; that's what they're there for. I'll keep praying for you, buddy (and anyone else who needs prayers for this type of thing as well).

[Doubleshadow]

I can somewhat relate to this, shame is very powerful. Do whatever you need to do. Praying for you.

[Alexander]

*waves*

Thanks for all the support everyone. I would also like to note that it does seem like many people beyond myself seem to suffer from it here. Do you think we should just make a big topic for support or is that too much? It does seem like we have a lot of people.

P.S. I'll be talking to my parents after the Anime Con next week. So it's going to be a little bit of time before I tell them.

P.P.S. Yes, I'm fine with being called Alec-Kun AsianBlossom. And anyone else for that matter. XD I like nicknames.

[Alexander]

I don't like to bring bad news, especially when I brought hope among my own topic. But I'm afraid there is.

I can't do it. I can't tell them. That level of personal trust I have in them, they might have with me, but I don't have with them. I can't be open to them about this. Essentially, this is my own fault. Not theirs. I'm too scared.

And it seems the while the filter does block sites, it doesn't block my heart. I actually feel worse with both the pressure of telling my parents and the filter being there then without it. I think I've taken the wrong path.

Instead, I'm going to an online support group for a more consistent helpline. I also failed to notice that my spirituality is a near dormant state, and I can't return to chastity without that.

I'm immensely sorry if I raised anyone hopes very high for my first plan. But it isn't working for me as I hoped.

I feel lost. Without any path in front of me to guide me...

[Okami]

Still praying...

Lust is one of the hardest things to break a habit with once you become addicted. You can do it, Alec, I know you can. God's given us power over Satan through the Spirit.
I never personally thought God would come and intervene in my life when it comes to my personal lust situation, but He did so by allowing me to open up outside of the internet. It's crazy. I still can't believe what's going on...heheh
I'm here if you want to talk, PM me if you need anything

[Danderson]

Maybe your lost and without a path simply becuase...your on the wrong path....
Remember this....If you have not been given a spirit of Fear....that doesn't mean you'll never be afraid, but it means you've been given power fear....
I'm encouraged to see that your talking with others about this....but whatever you do don't wait too long to talk to your parents about it.....That might explain why you feel lost....
Alex, God wants to talk to you right now....as in a friend-to-friend way....

He want's to show you the door to freedom....will you follow Him through that door?....Will you give Him all the wayword paths that trip you on this journey called Life?.....Will you follow the path He made specifically for you instead of these other ones?.....

You'll be in my prayers.....

[K. Ayato]

I'm sorry you don't have that trust between yourself and your parents, Alec. I'll be praying. Maybe you can still tell them, but in another form, like maybe a letter. Whatever the Lord leads you to do, I'm praying, and you know you can talk to me online whenever you need someone around . *Hugs* Hang in there, buddy. You'll make it through.

[AsianBlossom]

*hugs* You're still in my prayers, Alec-kun.

I'm not sure what to say in terms of advice, but all I can do right now is just keep praying for you. You will overcome this; don't give up.

But that letter idea that K-chan has is pretty good too. I'd consider that.

[chelle0227]

I really think that you sould go and tell your parents, about this, It would be a good idead, they can help sometimes, even when we don't want them to, But I think they can help you. As I've seen before, explain to them that you don't want it popping up everytime you look on an anime site, and maybe they will help you get the software, that you want.

I'll pray that you will do the right thing, and that god will lead you to do the right thing.

[Alexander]

Under a recent IM discussion with K-chan, I have two announcements.

The first being the realization that a filter is only part of solving the problem in the first place. While I've successfully been able to avoid H online, it hasn't cleaned my heart, which still lusts for it worse then ever as a result of me cutting it off. So, I need to do a number of things in order to finally let go of this completely.

Second, I've decided to take her advice on writing a letter. It's a step, but a step towards healing an open wound.

I continue to thank you for your prayers and support. Keep having faith in me, I'll keep trying even if I fail a thousand times more.

[SailorDove]

Yeah you & K-chan are right. And the letter is a great idea!

Since "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down", here's a song from Keith Green that'll hopefully lift your spirits, put a smile on your face and give us the strength to not give into the temptations in our hearts.

So You Wanna Go Back to Egypt
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Nf3Sm1tmdSA

Though we might all end up with a craving for banana bread...

[Okami]

Yeah, you go, Alec!

Confessing is always uplifting. I was so scared to tell my youth group, my brother, my parents...afraid of judgment and that they would all abandon me, a girl with a severe lust issue. But once I allowed it out, something happened that I didn't expect. Suddenly I wasn't bound to the issue. I was set free. The chains were broken.
You see, we allow things to happen, and what we don't realise is that we have a choice of saying "Yes." or "No."

It'll be a bumpy road, but you can do it, friend! I have faith in you.

[AsianBlossom]

*pumps fist* Yeah! You go, Alec-kun!

You're high-priority in my prayers right now; I pray that everything goes according to plan.

[Dai-go]

Hey man.

Let me tell you how exactly brave you are.
VERY.
First of all, not many people take even the steps you're taking to deal with it. You know it's a problem, and you're going to Christ on it. Awesome man.

Second, from one brother to Christ to another, I'm praying for you 100% percent. A lot of us Christians are in the exact position you're in, and a number of us are seeking help just like you are. I dunno if it's already been said, but if it has, let me reiterate, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. That's a big help. Lots of people can't go to their parents with this, or are too afraid. But that's the majority of those who watch or read, or even play H stuff. But, lettme just say that God has a way of bringing sin into the light. It's just one of the things everyone will have to face. But also, He knows your heart and will deep the appropriate time for that.

Third, a GREAT site for help, though it's mostly for porn addicts, it all stems from the same sin of lust. XXXChurch
You might've heard about it, you might've not, but it's been an effective tool for me along with the unadultrated Word of God. This thing can be beaten!

This sin's in the flesh man. Our flesh wants to see things like that. Fasting is a great way of bringing the flesh into submission to the spirit. Tried it? Abstaining from food, entertainment, etc. etc.? (Just try not to fast from baths, unless God tells you to, it really it doesn't work. lol)

Christ died so that you can be free from the chains of sin, and have life on this Earth abundantly! Let's go after richousness and not give lust a chance in this fight!
Dude, my heart goes out to you and everyone else in that position. You have my prayer and support! Feel free to e-mail me anytime man. I myself need a prayer and accountability partner. Heh!

Peace!
God bless!

[teen4truth]

I honestly don't know what advice I can give you, but I'm praying for you.

[Okami]

Ah! Dai-Go's post reminded me of a little something I learned at CIY:

WELL I RECKON WE AIN'T NEVER SPOSED TA BE ALONE.

and you aren't

[Alexander]

Thanks Dai-Go and Okami along with everyone else.

I've written the letter and set it in their bedroom. They'll probably read it this Saturday. What I wrote in there will remain private, but I will say that I asked them to reply back in another letter. So...

I'll see what happens.

[K. Ayato]

Way to go, Alec!