I guess you could say depression....

[ICE-rocks]

I know not many of you know me. but this was the only place I could think to come to. your all great people.

So awhile back (maybe 5 months ago) I finally was getting over my lust for porn and such. but about a week after I stopped I ended up giving back into it and now stuck again... I mean I've tried like even in that time hanging out with friends (because a couple years ago thats why I stopped hanging out with them) but now when I try to hang out.. its like I just want to disapaer and be gone forever. like I don't know I'm just lonely I guess. And nothing has been going right for me. feel like a looser because I have no girlfriend. (even though my little sister even has a boyfriend) but I just feel its too late for me and I should just give up. I can;t even feel Jesus near me anymore... I feel as if he's gone.

Thats pretty much the short version.... so if anyone knows what I could do... please if you could tell me. I'm just lost.

[Momo-P]

A lot of people have been where you are now.

My advice on the porn--just stay away from it. If you know a place that has this content, delete it. Block is. Erase it from your life. Even if it's not porn, if it's something that makes you feel this way, stay away. Just keep it out. The first step into getting better is blocking this content out of your mind. After that it will get easier in time.

On depression? Force yourself to be happy. Depression is one of those things that can take even the happiest situation and make it blue. In order to get out of it, you gotta take the first step and try and cheer yourself up. Do things that make you happy and look for something funny.

Over all, I just say pray to God. I put in a prayer for you, but praying yourself will definitely help. Just ask Him to help you overcome your addiction and ask for happiness and a sense of comfort with Him. It'll come.

[AsianBlossom]

Hmm...I can't offer too much advise, but I can say that Jesus will NEVER abandon you just because you are struggling with a sin. Secondly, you don't have to have a girlfriend to be complete; I'm 18 and I've never even had a boyfriend yet, and I'm still here. Finally, developing a prayerlife can be helpful, even if it means setting up only 15 minutes a day to have a conversation with Jesus about anything and everything. You may not feel Him, but He's there, and He's listening to every word you tell Him. Don't give up; with His help, you can overcome this. And I'll keep you in my prayers as well.

EDIT: and like Momo-p said, website blockers are excellent for these kinds of things.

[Tenshi no Ai]

To say your little sister has a boyfriend, I personally think it's a little funny to see people at such an age have a boyfriend/girlfriend. With me getting close to 20 and seeing people in middle school that look like they're TEN and having someone, it's just... :/ Besides, you're only 16 and I didn't have anyone till I was 17 and the guy was younger and more immature and broke it off fast :/ That's how middle/high school dates go, most don't last more than 2 weeks :/ How's THAT for a relationship? (No offense to any younger members, but this is only from experience and observation).

Prayign for it all for you...

[ICE-rocks]

Momo-p. yeah I know I've tried. but its like everywhere I turn its there somehow... or a thought comes to mind. or its like i'm on some art site or my mind tells me to draw that...
And I do try to be happy around my friends... but I always end up depressed after that.

Asianblossom: I'll try what you said.

Tenshi no Ai: yeah but I mean, i just feel as if I'll never find someone.

[ADXC]

At your response to Tenshi no Ai's post- DON'T FEEL THAT WAY! Believe me its not the end of the world. I don't have anybody, not even friends. You'll find someone if you just remain faithful to God. It may not even be untill you get into college or even later. But never become unfaithful to God and Jesus, never!

And about that problem with stuff like that (refering to art type stuff, I feel so embarrased to say it so please bear with me). Try and stay away from the computer if you have to. Yes CAA is a good place to be, but if it means you'll feel drawn to that stuff, starve yourself. Find work to do! Do stuff, anything! If you find stuff to do your mind will be too distracted from that stuff to even think about it. Believe or not, your in Satan's palm right now. He has his clutches on you ready to squish your love for God and turn you to him(Pronoun directed as satan in case you were confused). Sorry for playing hardball buts the only way to get through what I want to get through to you.

And don't feel like a loser. Ive felt like that, and it does me no good. So don't think like that. Try to have yourself in good thoughts. Now Im not talking about pride in yourself Im just saying keep a good image of your self otherwise your going to become what you most despise. Jesus sees you as a winner and I do too. Just try to go against feeling that way and you'll eventually feel better.

And lastly, plan some serious prayer time! Remember God loves you and He wants the best for you. So don't turn Him or Jesus down!

[Kamille]

Please, please don't run away from God. That was Adam and Eve's mistake. No matter what you've done please know that He's looking for you to return to Him.

Plus, in my case, God has put me through tough times just to find Him. I did not know God until I had depression for six years. If He didn't allow me to go through that darkness so that He could me bring up on the other side, I would've probably never turned to Him since I didn't grow up in the church. I think of that part of my life as the wilderness, not that I came out as perfectly as Jesus came out, but I gained victory over evil through God and the strength I found in Him.

Also, listen to everyone's remarks here. I think they're all great.

[Aka-chan]

Maybe rather than worrying about finding someone, focus on preparing yourself for when God brings the right person along. If the perfect girl is out there, don't you want to be the best guy possible for her? I know it's hard being single sometimes, but the Bible clearly states that there's nothing wrong with it. In no way does it make you a loser, and I think it's great you haven't just jumped at something that won't necessarily be what's best.

The other thing to remember: you're not alone in any of this. There are lots of other people with issues similar to yours, and the Bible most certainly advocates fellowship. It's good that you're trying to get out with your friends, but maybe you should also look into talking to your pastor or youth leader; they are equipped to give you the spiritual guidance that your peers may not be able to. Having someone like that will also keep you accountable for your actions, which is also a big help. (But definitely keep up activities with your friends. Sometimes the battle is half won just by getting out of bed--I know how tremendously hard that can be.)

As for the depression and feeling distance from God, I've definitely gone through something similar. I know you can't just have someone tell you "be happy" and have it taken care of. As mentioned above, talking to someone about this is definitely helpful (you don't have to tell everyone, just tell someone), and sometimes medical help is the best thing for depression.

Also, even if you don't feel like it, try praying. It doesn't have to be pretty, formal prayer; God says to "cast your cares on Me," meaning he'll take whatever you have and still love you. Really. It's fine to be honest and just tell him what you're feeling--there's loads of that in the psalms. If focusing is hard, try writing your prayers, or even just reading a Bible passage and thinking about it. There's some pretty heavy-duty dealings with depression in there, but there is hope in all of them. It may not seem to do anything right away, but it'll definitely help.

Some related passages:
Psalm 32
Psalm 38
Psalm 119:25-32, 81-88
Psalm 143
1 Kings 19:1-18 (here the great prophet Elijah exhibits classic signs of depression, and God personally deals with it. Kind of amazing.)

Hope this is useful to you.

[ICE-rocks]

we'll just thought i'd also bring this up another reason.. I feel like I lost the right girl... it's like she's the only one I can ever think of, even when I was really depressed, she always made me smile. Every other girl I met... there just wasn't something their... but its to late. thats another reason I'm depressed.

btw thanks for the bible verses aka-chan.

[USSRGirl]

In my prayers, Ice. I can't offer much that hasn't already been said, except to keep reading the Bible and talking to God. Surrender to Him and let Him be your shield from lust, depression, and hopelessness.

As for the gf issue, you're only 16. People get their first gf/bf at different times. Even if you feel like you lost the right girl, God may have someone else who will be better for you in His plans. It might take awhile for them to come, or He may have totally different plans for you. Just try to trust in Him and be patient.

Your comrade in Christ,

Temmy

[Danderson]

we'll just thought i'd also bring this up another reason.. I feel like I lost the right girl... it's like she's the only one I can ever think of, even when I was really depressed, she always made me smile. Every other girl I met... there just wasn't something their... but its to late. thats another reason I'm depressed.

btw thanks for the bible verses aka-chan.

Aka-Chan kind've stole the words out of my mouth...Yeah, I've been in your position before, but through Jesus I overcame it...I know it feels weird not having a girlfriend, and seeing all your friends getting together like that..However, I would encourage you to look at a lot of relationships that start out as bf/gf....where do most of them end? Usually in hurt and heartache for each side because eventually both of them gave too much of themselves to the other...
....Instead, if I were you (and I think this's been said before), I'd focus more on trying to get to know all of your sisters in Christ and becoming close with all of them instead of playing favourites and thinking of any of them as furture mates....
You'll be in my prayers bro....