A different kind of claustrophobia.

[Bap]

...I was trying to be creative with the title. :D;;; butyeah. xD; I'll. get to that in a moment...

Well... where to start... I think it's like... a tradition for me to mention my thought stickies every time I make a prayer request, 'cause they're always bothering me... >_>;;; ...and that hasn't changed. :D;

I dunno... does it seem silly to people that I fret so much over these dumb thought stickies? D:

It's just that. The only "skill" (if you could even call it that, really. xD;) that I consider me having would be drawing, I guess? D: And y'know, in order to draw and stuff, you have to think and imagine your characters and create situations and stuff? :/ It's hard to do that when you have silly thought stickies messing with that. @_@; and what makes it worse is that they're really, really silly. >_>;; Like... floating toast.

I know, it's dumb isn't it? D:

My current sticky are toast pieces randomly floating in front of places where they definitely don't belong. (Does floating toast belong anywhere, really? D:) And I can't make them go away. >_> This one's being exceptionally persistent, and I'm afraid that it'll never go away, I'll never be able to imagine again, and I'll also never be able to draw again.

It's... really scary. D: 'cause I like thinking up of situations and then putting it down on paper, I mean, as of late, I was hoping I could maybe get good enough to even make a career out of it, but if I can't imagine anymore, then I definitely can't put the non-existent thoughts on paper, and of course I wouldn't be able to make a career out of it. xD;

It's just... sorta painful. @_@;;

yeah.. xD;;; and lately, I've also been feeling really, really lonely. Like... I know God's always there and stuff, but it doesn't feel like there's people there for me... like, someone in real life? @_@; Is it bad and selfish and stuff if I feel that way? D: That even though I have God, I also want a real person to talk to as well? D:

I dunno, it's just that I want a real person I can talk to and emo out to when I need to, and I don't feel comfortable doing that to anyone I know. ._.; And I think part of that is 'cause I don't have any Christian friends in real life... D:

And it's just sorta scary, 'cause it feels like I have nowhere to go and... at times like that I feel slightly claustrophobic? xD; Except in more of an abstract sense, I guess. @o@;;...

But... yeah. xD; if none of that babbling made any sense to you, could I ask that you please pray for help for me? o: I figure God'll know what you're talking about even if you're not sure. xD;

Thanks much in advance. o: (And also apologies for the long post. xD;;;)

[rsnumber2]

Well, you've always got us. But it is good to have someone in real life that you can actually meet up with. I will pray that everything works out for you. And that God guide the right person into your life for you to converse with.

[Tenshi no Ai]

With your thought stickies, I'm almost wondering if that's a sign of OCD (which is different that OCPD, mind you). *shrugs* could be. But either way I'll be praying for it all...

[SailorDove]

1st on the random silliness thoughts. Sounds like you're might be a budding "Far Side" Comic Artist to me. Keep a notepad on these &/or draw 'em in a sketch pad or whatever. At the very least, it should be a fun way to past the time. Also, may make a great ice breaker for meeting some friends.

On the 2nd point, I agree in prayer with everyone for you. God Bless. Amen.

[Hotarubi]

Wow, I'll be praying for you.
Do your parents know about these "thought stickies" of yours, if I may ask?

[K. Ayato]

Could you try to further explain what these stickies are? To me, it sounds like hallucinations.

[Bap]

rsnumber2: Thanks much. D

Tenshi no Ai: Yeah, the thought's been in my head a few times too. @_@;;a Thanks. <3

SailorDove: xD That's an interesting thought, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks. x3

Hotarubi: Ah, no. @o@ And thank you.

Ayato: Well, they don't really affect my five senses any, at least I think that's what hallucinations are, or something, right? xD; They just affect the five senses? @_@a but at any rate, they're just "what if" thoughts that pop up in my head when I make pictures in my head and do that whole thinking up scenario thing, and they're usually just really silly and I'd rather not have them there, but then I guess what happens is that I'm so obsessed with making it go away, that I in turn think about it, and I can't make it leave my head. xD; It's like a perpetual cycle, or something. D: But pretty much in general, they're just dumb thoughts that get in my head because I wonder too much, and I get obsessed with making it go away, and I can't. xD;

[Hotarubi]

You might want to consider talking to your parents or even your school nurse/doctor about it.
I'll continue to pray.

[Danderson]

[quote="Bap"]rsnumber2: Thanks much. D

Tenshi no Ai: Yeah, the thought's been in my head a few times too. @_@]

Your not alone....

What you're talking about sounds like what sometimes happens to me...

Here's some quick advice, try using this thought process to your advantage.

For example, say your doing school (....specifically math....man, I hate math... ...) and you come across a certain problem or question. What you should do is think up multiple scenarios and/or possibilties, keeping in mind the various rules that apply in that particular realm of math and walla.....you have mastered that math problem....

You could also use the multiple scenario process to plan and coordinate events that might take place in the near future (or that you'd like to make)....

Hope this helps and I'll be prayin for you.....

[Bap]

Hotarubi: I'll keep that in mind, thank you.

Danderson: Haha, that's something I usually do to remedy the problem. xD; If I get a silly thought, I'll think of a silly way to make it leave. >_>; The only problem is that it doesn't work all the time. D: But, thank you! <3