grrr... not again

[fairyprincess90]

wow. i'm depressed again.
suprise suprise.

i need prayer though.

because last year around this time i went into a three month depression and ended up hurting myself in april and getting eleven stitches and i'm afraid. i dont want to go through that again.

i've been doing good. for about like a month and a half. i did have like one day where i was really upset but... i was doing so good.
then KABOOM. depression attacks and i'm the most irritable cranky person right now and i dont feel like doing anything i just feel like dying.

last night i was partying and dancing and that really helped alot just being goofy with my friends and jumping around for four hours. i dont feel as bad as i did but i'm still sad.

i dont want to be sad. i'm tired of being miserable.

please pray for me.

[meboeck]

I will be praying. Are you seeing a counselor? Are you taking any medication? If not, you should look into both those options. Obviously medication isn't something you should just always automatically turn to, but it can help a lot. I can't stress the importance of counseling enough though. I went through depression and seeing a Christian counselor really helped me. One hting you have to remember is that depression doesn't just go away. Just because you aren't feeling depressed for a certain amount of time doesn't mean you can't become depressed again. Learn what the warning signs are for you. And learn what things help you. Again, I will be praying for you, and PM me if you ever need to talk.

[SP1]

Partying and dancing for 4 hours? You are like an aerobic exercise animal or something! Go FP90!

I second meboeck's advice on counselling. You might also consider keeping a journal to see if something you are eating, taking, etc. is triggering episodes, not to mention seeing if they aligned with menstruation.

[PigtailsJazz]

I have struggled with depression as well, and while I am praying for you, I would like to recommend a few things:

Exercise (as you mentioned) is extremely good for depression, because it affects you biochemically. Eating healthy is also another factor into combatting depression (another biochemical sort of thing). Also, I would strongly advise seeing a counselor and/or a psychiatrist. Remember that God is guiding you somewhere...pray for His will in your life, and I do believe He will slowly (or maybe even very quickly) unravel it for you... Even in much suffering, there is joy to be found in His plans.

[Guardianking500]

wow. i'm depressed again.
suprise suprise.

i need prayer though.

because last year around this time i went into a three month depression and ended up hurting myself in april and getting eleven stitches and i'm afraid. i dont want to go through that again.

i've been doing good. for about like a month and a half. i did have like one day where i was really upset but... i was doing so good.
then KABOOM. depression attacks and i'm the most irritable cranky person right now and i dont feel like doing anything i just feel like dying.

last night i was partying and dancing and that really helped alot just being goofy with my friends and jumping around for four hours. i dont feel as bad as i did but i'm still sad.

i dont want to be sad. i'm tired of being miserable.

please pray for me.

my advice is to find friends. i will pray for you but happiness has to be found. you cant sit around and just let happiness find you. go out and find it. ill tell you i had to look for 16 years to find happiness. but also...let god guide you to it.

[MusicRocksGBV]

I've been there. Oh have I been there. Gratefully, I never got to the point where I injured myself but it came close sometimes. I concur with everyone else's advice on here. Seek counseling, get on a daily medication, get out and stay active, and I would add this: don't let yourself be alone in these episodes. Not for extended periods of time. Don't let yourself sleep longer than is necessary and take care of yourself, no matter what. Find someone to serve, that always helps a bit. You're in my prayers hon. @_@ God bless!

[RedMage]

I'll pray for you, FP90. Please don't hurt yourself again. If there's ever a time when you feel like doing it, please try to remember that you are God's precious child and your body is made in His image.

[Tenshi no Ai]

Everyone's pretty much said everything above, so I'll be praying for you as well...

[fairyprincess90]

i have tried these things.

i tried counseling and he was a pastor and he majored in college for counseling and it helped alot. i know now alot of how i think which i didnt know before. like he helped me realize what a perfectionist i am and how to deal with that. i am also taking an herbal supplement that is supposed to help with moodiness and stuff. i eat heathly because both me and my mom are on a diet so we eat alot of veggies and fruits and fiber and yogurt and i take cleansers too to help me because i believe alot of how you feel comes from what you eat because these days there are sooo much chemicals in food.
i havent so far gotten back into the deep depression i was in. i can feel when i'm in it deep because i feel possessed and dark and like i can control myself.
i have gone to a mental home and they have helped me with my anger problems because i implode and then i explode really bad and thats why i hurt myself last time because little things were upseting me (i'm a very sensitive person) and then i got into a minor fight with my mom about something and i exploded.
so i know i have anger problems and i have ways to help such as my punching bag my dad set up for me and i have a special place out in our shed for me and my excersise stuff and i go out there when im upset and punch the bag ^_^
and i always write out my feelings. i'm constantly writing poems and i write in my journal every day.

but i dont know.
i feel like this is something i cant control.


thanks for your prayers. i really appreciate it.

[meboeck]

i feel like this is something i cant control.

If its something you can't control, then you should look into getting on actual medication instead of just herbal supplements. And don't stop counseling. Also, the more convinced you are that you can't control this, the less control you will have. Just believing you can beat it is half the battle. And seriously don't forget to rely on God. You've asked for prayer and gotten Christian counseling, but how much are you personally doing to let God help you with this? Never forget that He made you and He is bigger than anything you will ever face.