to get back to where I was

[Tenshi no Ai]

Yup, another prayer request, but since it has nothing to do with my last one, it required a different topic.

Basically, I feel like I'm in a bit of that "spiritual standstill" at the moment. I've just been working so much lately (which is kinda ironic, cause I'm working to make money to pay for Bible college), busy so often and every day that I get off, that I haven't been praying nearly as much (used to pray often at work when I wasn't busy with customers and just doing my own thing), been sick too, and just really don't feel like where I used to be.

I know I've been in the position where I loosened/lowered my own personal morals (well, forced myself in a sense for reasons) and I hated it :/ And I don't want to be in that position again. And I'm trying to like, force myself to spend time when I can to read the Bible and stuff now, so it's not like I go in further and have to pick myself out of a hole by doing that :/

And it's like, I can't say that I've fallen/falling, it's just that, I don't like where I am right now and want to be where I was (and higher if possible). If I get further away, I might make some dumb decisions. For example with that and the whole "loosening/lowering my personal morals" thing, I dont' want to date a non-Christian, for the usual reasons. And it just so happens that at work there's a guy who's non-Christian and likes me. He's a real nice guy and all, and as much as I want to be good friends and all at least, I know I can't, well shouldn't... I wouldn't want to make myself vulnerable to be pulled down, and so forth. If he was a Christian it would probably be a different story, but no way am I about to "flirt to convert" anytime soon >_< Besides, as far as my standards go with picking out The One, I'd sort of want someone who really knows God, the Bible etc, rather than someone new and all. But anyhow, I get thinking that if I stay in this standstill for longer, that it's possible that I might just go "meh" and go for it anyways :/ I'm not desperate or anything like that, but I guess an example of a fear I have if things continue.

I know, God's still working in my for His Will, and I pray every night for Him to help me grow, so I guess this is just one of those things to overcome. Just glad that I'll be in Bible college in... 8 months and then I can really get a chance to grow and all^^ But, I want to start now! So, prayers are much appreciated during this time for me^^

[Jingo Jaden]

Oh I think I know quite well about what you are talking about. In my prayer.

[K. Ayato]

Praying for you, hon.

[freerock1]

Lifting you up, my sister.