Addiction

[CobaltAngel]

Graaaah...

I said I wouldn't do it again, watch this show that was really addicting for me. But no. I just wanted to finish the series because there were only four episodes left. I'm mad because I said iwouldn't go back and I did. It ticks me off. And I think it tapped me into the root of my problem: when stuff gets tough my life I bury myself into a hole I can't get out of... I shove all my emotions away by getting myself obsessed with something so that I can think about that and not the crap. But then when things start to get better, I'm so numb I can't even tell. This hasn't happened to me for a couple years, and I was so happy because I thought I was better. It's freaking retarded. I want to be back to normal again. I want to get back to were I was spiritually and otherwise. Frankly, this is bigger than just a show, in general I've been shutting myself inside, thinking about all sorts f things that don't matter because the things in my head seem more beautiful. but they're not real! And my RL situation isn't that bad... well, my family situtation is going down hill (if you would... pray for that too. :/), but I'd much rather have that reality than no reality.

I might leave again, whether or not my falling appart is directly linked to CAA, I seem to come here when I'm falling appart and I want to push that feeling away.

Gosh I feel like a fool.

Thanks for everyone who gave me adive on the other thread. You all rock.

[K. Ayato]

I'll be praying.

[Tenshi no Ai]

I'll be praying for you too...

[SP1]

Praying. Perhaps you could satisfy my curiosity and PM me what show it is that's addicting?

[Ryupower]

I'll be praying for both of those things! ( I wonder what show it is...)
and you can come here and ask for prayer all the time, as you know!

[Radical Dreamer]

I'll be praying for you!

[Anna Mae]

I can understand your frustration. Looking into my own life I am often reminded of how, like Israel, each of us continues to fall away from the Lord. Isn't it awesome, though, that no matter what we do God is always willing to forgive us and help us back up! I will be praying for you.

Philipians 3:7-14

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

[CobaltAngel]

Thank you all for your prayers... and thank you for the verse Anna Mae. It was very helpful.