Ummm... @o@

[Bap]

Edit: 1.1.07: Um, okay. Right. xD;;; I'm sorry for all my crazy rambling, but I tend to dwell on things, and I get all obsessive over them. ;___;

Butum. it'sjustthat. I sorta wanted to talk about the. ...coincidence that's been bothering me? D:

umbutlike. http://www.christiananime.net/showthread.php?t=36545&page=3 <--- That'sforlike. The first part. D: Just scroll down for my last post. xD; It's long, but as always, I'd really appreciate it if you stuck through with me. ;_;

andlike, well, it's like... a few days ago, I was being all sorta paranoid and stuff (like, I'm all crazy protective of my OCs (original characters) so my friend's all like, Googling all the terms related to our characters. xD; Like, the world they're in, and like, our character names. D: (Y'know, to see if anyone could find our forum through Google and. ...I dunno, steal our stuff or something. xDD;;;)

Andlike, the group they're in? ;o; Which is called the Council of Nine? Dx And... some of you might or might not be understanding why this coincidence freaks me out so bad. xD;;;

Okaysolike. I google it, and I see a Wiki entry titled "Council of Nine," so I'm just all, "Oh, hey! xDD" so of course, I click it right? D:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Council_of_Nine (For anyone that's interested. xD;;;)

And it's just stuff like, Greek mythology, and then I read the last line, and I'm just like. "...D: You've got to be kidding me. ;_____;"

And... just a quote. D:

"Also, the council that governs the Church of Satan calls themselves the Council of Nine."

...uhyeah. D:

That's a really bad coincidence, in my opinion. ;_; (I mean, of course they're two different things, and the name's only a coincidence. xDD;;;) So I start freaking out really badly but after praying for a bit, I was doing okay. D:

Butofcourse, I'm still... just kinda scared about it, right? ._. justlike. Mostly stuff that I said in my other post, like, afraid of not dwelling on it, because it's like... yeah. D:

But it's like, getting all freaked out about it 24/7 it just tires me, and I get all not wanting to do anything, and stuff starts feeling surreal? D:

I mean... today, it's just like... I don't care anymore, right? xD;;; I'm just like, "...This is dumb. D: Why're you getting so freaked out about it? Dx It's a coincidence, and you know that. xD;;;" But then another part of me is all paranoid and crap of this coincidence. ;_; And it's like, "Ohno~ If you get comforted in your imaginating, it might be the wrong Council. D:" ...I'm kinda confused on how that makes sense, but my brain's just dumb like that. ;___;

So I really just wanna forget it, but I'm also scared to, y'know? .____.;;;

I dunno, but I'd really, really, really, really, really appreciate it if someone had any opinion on what I should do, y'know? ._.; andofcourse, prayerwouldbeawesome.

andyeah. xD;;; Sorry, and thank you. ._.;;;

Original post:

Durh, well... I dunno, maybe some of you would remember my last thread about thought stickies, and possibly my latest post on that thread? xD;;;

Or, maybe not, I don't think it'd matter too much. xD;;;

Well, I dunno. It's just that the same stupid thoughts keep bothering me over and over again, and well, I've been pretty down lately. It's just like, I keep reasoning with myself as to why it's not true, and I know that they're just dumb thoughts, so I try... but even thinking of them a little freaks me out. >_>;;; (So thinking is sorta annoying at times. ._.)

So I've just been like, wanting them to go away, and I dunno if this is a direct cause or anything, but I've just been really unmotivated in everything else I do. xD; Like, school, and etc. D:

It's just sorta like, "...bleh. Will they never go away? ;_;" and it's like, I don't want to think I'm getting use to what they're saying, 'cause then it feels like I'm acknowledging that they're true? Dx

soyeah. ._.

And well, I've sorta been doing better, but then yesterday I just had to find this dumb coincidence, and then I started freaking out. Dx But then I got my mind off it (sorta.) and I dunno, I've just been sorta numb to like... everything all day. xD;; and then I just started thinking about it now ('cause it sorta felt like I was avoiding it, and yeah. D:) now I'm just kinda like... down sorta. ._. I dunno if it's just the late hours, or just what I feel like now, (and I'm thinking it'll probably go away in the morning [or late afternoon. xDD;;;] after I get sleep. xD) but everything just feels kinda... surreal... @o@

I dunno, could I just get some prayers? ._. For my thought stickies, and like, everything. xD;;; I'd really, really, really appreciate it, and if you've read this whole drawn-out ramble, even more thanks to you. xD; n 3n

[Jingo Jaden]

In my prayer.

[SP1]

Ramble at will.

Praying.

[oro!]

I'm praying for you and your thoughts, Bap. Perhaps if you got in the Word, you might find something to comfort you, and help you with whatever thoughts you have circulating in your brain.

[Tenshi no Ai]

I'll be praying for you too... And I second the Bible reading. It totally helps and all, AND helps you take your mind off everything^^

[Destroyer2000]

Yeah, I remember your topic. I've been dealing with some things that the only real solution is to just trust in the Word, and not your feelings. That is the best thing to do in cases like this, as your feelings and thougths are human, and can deceive you. I'll be praying.

[Bap]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. n_n

As for right now, I'm not in the same... slump, I guess you'd call it, as yesterday, but I've just been going through ups and downs. xD; Sometimes I'll be okay, and then sometimes I'll just be really down. @o@

But, yar, thanks to everyone praying for me. n 3n

[Bap]

Um, sorry for like. ...adding even more stuff. xDD;;; butyeah. I just. Felt like I really wanted to say this 'cause I wanted people's. ...advice and whatnots. ._.;;;

Edit: 1.1.07: Um, okay. Right. xD;;; I'm sorry for all my crazy rambling, but I tend to dwell on things, and I get all obsessive over them. ;___;

Butum. it'sjustthat. I sorta wanted to talk about the. ...coincidence that's been bothering me? D:

umbutlike. http://www.christiananime.net/showthread.php?t=36545&page=3 <--- That'sforlike. The first part. D: Just scroll down for my last post. xD; It's long, but as always, I'd really appreciate it if you stuck through with me. ;_;

andlike, well, it's like... a few days ago, I was being all sorta paranoid and stuff (like, I'm all crazy protective of my OCs (original characters) so my friend's all like, Googling all the terms related to our characters. xD; Like, the world they're in, and like, our character names. D: (Y'know, to see if anyone could find our forum through Google and. ...I dunno, steal our stuff or something. xDD;;;)

Andlike, the group they're in? ;o; Which is called the Council of Nine? Dx And... some of you might or might not be understanding why this coincidence freaks me out so bad. xD;;;

Okaysolike. I google it, and I see a Wiki entry titled "Council of Nine," so I'm just all, "Oh, hey! xDD" so of course, I click it right? D:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Council_of_Nine (For anyone that's interested. xD;;;)

And it's just stuff like, Greek mythology, and then I read the last line, and I'm just like. "...D: You've got to be kidding me. ;_____;"

And... just a quote. D:

"Also, the council that governs the Church of Satan calls themselves the Council of Nine."

...uhyeah. D:

That's a really bad coincidence, in my opinion. ;_; (I mean, of course they're two different things, and the name's only a coincidence. xDD;;;) So I start freaking out really badly but after praying for a bit, I was doing okay. D:

Butofcourse, I'm still... just kinda scared about it, right? ._. justlike. Mostly stuff that I said in my other post, like, afraid of not dwelling on it, because it's like... yeah. D:

But it's like, getting all freaked out about it 24/7 it just tires me, and I get all not wanting to do anything, and stuff starts feeling surreal? D:

I mean... today, it's just like... I don't care anymore, right? xD;;; I'm just like, "...This is dumb. D: Why're you getting so freaked out about it? Dx It's a coincidence, and you know that. xD;;;" But then another part of me is all paranoid and crap of this coincidence. ;_; And it's like, "Ohno~ If you get comforted in your imaginating, it might be the wrong Council. D:" ...I'm kinda confused on how that makes sense, but my brain's just dumb like that. ;___;

So I really just wanna forget it, but I'm also scared to, y'know? .____.;;;

I dunno, but I'd really, really, really, really, really appreciate it if someone had any opinion on what I should do, y'know? ._.; andofcourse, prayerwouldbeawesome.

andyeah. xD;;; Sorry, and thank you. ._.;;;

[Yumie]

Hey Bap!

I used to struggle with something similar when I was younger. It always seemed like Satan would get into my head at the most random times and give me innappropriate thoughts that, at the age I was, I never should have been able to think up on my own. I figure the reason he did this was because he knew I was vulnerable there, and of course, being the devil, he likes to get us where we're vulnerable. So, I countered him by decreasing my vulnerability there. I devised a plan for any time he'd attack: Whatever the nature of the thoughts were that plauged me most, I'd find a verse that countered that thought. I basically just went up against his lies with the truth.

So, your problem is that Satan causes you to doubt your sincerity to Christ by giving you thoughts of disloyalty, and then he uses those thoughts to make you think that Jesus isn't with you anymore. So, I'd recommend you look up verses against the idea that you can be seperated from Christ. Some very prominent verses on this subject, ones you've probably heard before, are Romans 8:38-39: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." If you've turned your life over to Christ, his love is *always* with you, and there's nothing anybody else can do about it. The devil can make weak attempts to make you doubt God's love, and maybe sometimes those attempts might work. But though Satan can tempt you to doubt God's love, he can't make God's love leave you. Because he is the Father of all lies according to the Bible, he will do everything in his power to make you believe he can, but the Word of God, the very truth itself, says that he is powerless to do so. Hebrews 13:5 says that God said, "I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you." No matter what thoughts the devil serves to you on a silver platter, they can't make God leave you. So, though it's going to be hard, you just need to constantly remind yourself of these truths. Anytime Satan puts one of those scary thoughts in your head, call him the liar he is and dwell on the truth.

I hope this helps ya, girl! If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. I'd be glad to offer any advice that could possibly help you. You're in my prayers.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I don't understand a word from the original post. Coherency please?

[Ryupower]

I'll pray

[Bap]

I don't understand a word from the original post. Coherency please?

Um... is there anything more specific that I should try and... make. Better sounding? xD;;; I'm sorry, it'sjustthat. I sorta talk in a funny style on the internets. @o@;;;

And, thanks so much Yumie. n 3n I really appreciate it. And thanks to everyone else who's praying for me as well. <333