Feeling of unacceptance

[Nate]

This may sound a little silly to you guys, but it's something that's really eaten into me a lot lately.

Obviously, every denomination of Christianity has different doctrinal beliefs. I seem to be fine with this, but it seems like no one else is fine with this. Constantly I find myself being attacked by fellow Christians for my beliefs. It's becoming frustrating to me.

I feel like I don't belong. These people treat me like I'm sort of heretic just because I interpret Scripture differently than they do. I'm tired of people trying to convince me I'm wrong about what I believe.

It's just the Bible says we're supposed to be a family. I feel like I'm an adopted member of the family, no one really accepts me just because I'm different. I've become disillusioned with Christianity a bit, actually. Not with Christ, I will follow Him always...but I've become very cold and bitter to much of the body of believers because of how they treat me.

I just wish people would show me the same courtesy I show them...and that they would make me feel accepted even if I believe different things than them, because ultimately we agree on the one part of Scripture that matters.

[bigsleepj]

I'm sorry that people have been treating you this way. I'm shocked that they do. I thought this kind of doctrinal narrow-mindedness was something of the past or at least something of an isolated occurance. I'll certainly be praying for you.

[Syreth]

By just reading your post, I think it's easy to get caught into a destructive cycle with that kind of thinking. If you are predisposed to thinking that people will not accept you, then it may cause you to be a bit stand-offish when it comes to dealing with other Christians. It may be that the Christians you are talking to are completely in the wrong, and you are right (I don't know), but certainly, it will take a certain amount of acceptance on your part as well. You must accept others in spite of the fact that they don't accept you. You are part of the family and so are they, even if they choose not to accept you.

Of course, this depends on what you believe. It's entirely possible to interpret the Bible incorrectly.

That said, check out Matthew 5:44.

[QtheQreater]

One of the unfortunate things about Christians is...none of us are perfect. Saved, yes...but we can still be idiots. I grew up in a church that did that, Nate. Self-righteous little buggers they are, but still family...it's hard to live with, I know. The sad fact of it is, they may never change. So it's our duty to make sure we don't fall into the same trap.

Don't give up on Christians, though, you haven't met them all yet...generalizing is a dangerous thing to do...

I'll be praying about that too...

[K. Ayato]

Right with you there, Q. I used to be part of a church that imposed its rules and standards (most of them based in legalism...shame, shame...) on just about everyone. Thankfully I left that church and rejoined the church I grew up in. It's where I belong.

Syreth also has a point. If you continue thinking fellow Christians aren't going to accept you, then no one among them will. I know it's tough, Nate, but the key thing to do is make an effort on your part to accept them as they are. If they can't be that way with you, ditch 'em, and find another group.

Still, I'll be praying.

[rocklobster]

Remember, folks, the Devil likes division among Christians. Let's not make him happy.

[Radical Dreamer]

Yeah, I can see where you're coming from here. It's sad that the Body has become such a...dysfunctional family. Arguing only pulls people apart, and that's exactly the opposite of what God wants. We really just need to figure out that in order to have any sway in our times, we've got to stop bickering over things that really just aren't going to matter that much in the long run. Anyways, I'll be praying.

[Cognitive Gear]

I'm right there with you, Nate. My heart weeps at the division I see in the body of Christ everyday. I'll add you to my prayer list of people that feel this way. It seems to be growing.

[Chibi_wolf454]

Were all siblings in a family. Sometimes brothers and sisters fight. We just need to learn to love each other ^^

[SP1]

One of the things I like most about my current church is that it is very accepting of other denominations as "OK". Commonly called ecumenical. It happens to be a United Methodist church, although I suppose they don't corner the market on inclusiveness. We have an Advent walk we do each year where several local churches (Catholic, Episcopal, Baptist, Presbyterian and us) have a big walk where everyone goes to each church and attends a portion of a long service for the start of the Christmas season. I think this goes a long way to helping people remember that it's Christ first, church politics second.

Praying you can find a good home, but this is going to take work on your part, too, as has been said.

[uc pseudonym]

This, in a general sense, is something that bothers me as well. I love the church, and seeing it tear itself apart before all the world hurts. The average individual doesn't seem capable of maturely disagreeing; not only does that mean they fight about it, but generally that the level of discussion is lowered as well. I worry that we're becoming so closed to other opinions that honest debate will become impossible and the church will become splintered beyond recognition.

I say this only by way of empathizing; I realize it doesn't help you any. If there was something I could do, I would do it. For the record, though from what I've seen of your theology we mostly agree, in the areas where we differ I have no problem accepting you.

If I may ask a personal question: where are you currently going to church? It sounds as though it would be helpful for you to find a different environment. I know it helps me to have a group of people who are similar in mind but willing to remain in the body of Christ even when they disagree.

[Puritan]

Well, I can empathize, I've been in similar situations. My theological views are rather different than much of the mainstream in some areas, and since they changed a couple years ago I've taken my own pounding for them from time to time. It's really difficult to have your views beaten on and demonized by friends and leaders, even find ones self treated as an almost-Christian or marginal Christian because your views don't sync with those of the people around you. I was fortunate to find other Christians who were willing to accept me because we agreed on the heart of the gospel, that "We preach Christ crucified." as Paul wrote, but I know that it isn't always easy to find those people. Though I have to disagree with UC about worrying that the church becoming splintered beyond recognition, as what I've seen of church history indicates there has been serious and nasty infighting for far longer than I'd like to fathom, I won't argue that things as they stand now are far too often devoted to tearing other Christians down for disputed theology than carrying the gospel to the world. However, bad as things are, I still see God in all this. We've been fighting for ages, yet somehow, out of all the sin, backstabbing, and fighting that has taken place, Christ still manages to shine His light into the darkness of the world through the broken people that make up the Church. That is poor consolation when you actually have to deal with the nastiness that goes on, but that is what I see.

I wish you well, and will pray for you in this, and I hope you are able to find a church or a group of Christians that will accept you without beating on you for your theology. I've been blessed to be able to find both friends and churches that accept me, warts and all, over the past couple years, and I hope and pray you are able to find the same.

[Riyo-Chan]

ill definitely be praying for you... i know how you feel for i am currently in the process of finding a different church from the rest of my family for everyone (yes even my parents) seem to believe that i am not a christian and that i need saving. you have to search for the truth on your own

[Ryupower]

Awww....I'm praying for you.
I oftentimes have my own walk with God and don't really listen to what other Christians tell me if it's not in scripture. I take in concideration, yes, but oftentimes I disagree and am labeled "non-denominationl".

I haven't got into the trouble you got into with yet, because I usually don't bother telling other Christians my view if I know it's just going to cause trouble anyways.
I keep quiet unless they're trying to tell me how people are supposed to be or how God wants this and He wants that... or something...usually just pray that God will guide them in His way and deal with them and me how HE wants, and how HE plans, praying that He'll just get *us* to heaven somehow.
Anyways,
praying

[Doubleshadow]

I feel bad for you, man. I have been raised into so many different churches I don't technically fit in anywhere that I know of. I just find other Christians who don't care about denominations and we take it lightly, reserving heavy discussions for when we have the energy for it so we aren't short with each other. I did have to leave a church once because they were so hostile to my differing beliefs. I was grilled by two preachers at once with another member literally blocking the door by standing in front of it so I couldn't get out. I'll pray you find some fellow believers that you can lean on.

[Cap'n Nick]

Having gotten rather passionate in discussion with you before, I know it can happen to anyone. I pray that your Christian brothers be not bane but balm and that all of your discussions increase knowledge and unity in Christ.

[freerock1]

Lifting you up, bro, and I can relate to some degree. Honestly, I've come to see some things differently from the way I was raised, through my own reading of the Bible and experience with other believers. IMO, it's fine to have differences of opinion on minor doctrinal areas, and it can actually be beneficial for believer of various backgrounds to civilly discuss their views. But as long as we agree on the primary points of doctrine (the major stuff like the divinity and perfection of Christ, the virgin birth, the crucifixion, the resurrection, salvation by grace through faith, the Bible as the inspired Word of God, etc.), we shouldn't allow lesser areas to divide us as believers in Christ.