Eating me up inside....

[Cloud Strife]

Ever since the begining of this school year i was hit with a terrible depression. Two weeks before school started it started. It's been consuming and i don't know what to do about it. Then recently... about a month ago.... my personality started to change in a very radical way. I started to get violent and mean. Only slightly though as no one but myself noticed. But these feelings and attitude grew worse and i'm scared now. Recendtly, and this is a seriouse topic, I have been masturbating and it hasn't even affected me. I just don't care anymore. But i want to care. I pray everyday... i want to get better. Normally i would just confess to my accountability partner but me in turn not caring has taken away that urge. I'm scared this is who I'm becoming and want it to stop.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Possibly the masturbation and your personality changing could be interlinked. It is a pyschological thing. As tempting as it is, it also damages our personalities and our relationships with God. Try and just hand it all over to God, spend time with him and you'll see a change. It won't likely happen over night, but it will happen.
God Bless you mate, I'll be praying for you.

[Jingo Jaden]

In my prayer.

[Silent Hunter]

Possibly the masturbation and your personality changing could be interlinked. It is a pyschological thing. As tempting as it is, it also damages our personalities and our relationships with God. Try and just hand it all over to God, spend time with him and you'll see a change. It won't likely happen over night, but it will happen.
God Bless you mate, I'll be praying for you.

how very true

i'll pray as well

[meboeck]

As someone who has dealt with serious depression, I would strongly suggest finding a counselor, preferalby Christian. That would hopefully at least start you on the right track, and if you needed it they could refer you to a psychiatrist. I also had anger problems due to my depression, but for a long time I barely even noticed it. I can't really relate to the sexual issues, but I'm sure it's all intertwined. Keep praying and find help. And do talk to your accountability partner. I would suggest also talking to him about your depression and personality changes if you haven't already. Accountabilty partners are there to help with more than just sexual sin. If you want to talk more, I'm just a PM away.

[dyzzispell]

Try to take note of the influences in your life. Believe it or not, secular music can have a very serious effect on the psyche, as can the company you keep. Are your friends Christian? If not, do you hang out with them a lot? What kinds of things do they like to do? Does any of it glorify God? Do you have a church or youth group? The Bible even says it: "Bad company corrupts good morals." That goes for everything - friends, movies, video games, music... anything that keeps you company.
Seriously, take a look at that stuff. It could have possibly contributed to your personality change. It might be a good idea to throw out a bunch of things, and set new standards for yourself. I can't tell you how many times I've had to do that in my life.
If you really do want to change, consider doing that as a sign of your determination to change. Get rid of stuff that pulls you down. All the negative stuff. God will help us, but we must take that hard first step towards really doing it, as a show of faith.
As a secondary step, you need to replace those negative things with positive things. Christian music. A youth group. That sort of thing. It really will help, if you let it. It always worked for me. The toughest part for me was actually throwing stuff out of my life. But once I actually did it, things really did get much better.
You'll be in my prayers.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I have to disagree with somethings said. Yes, replace negative things with positive. Don't listen to destructive music, but just listening to Christian music isn't so great either (listen to good music).
Also, the Bible does say, 'bad company corrupts good morals', BUT we are to be a light to the world and having non-Christian friends is a good place to start. But we must be strong in our faith to sustain it.

[Tenshi no Ai]

I'll be praying for you as well...

[dyzzispell]

I have to disagree with somethings said. Yes, replace negative things with positive. Don't listen to destructive music, but just listening to Christian music isn't so great either (listen to good music).
Also, the Bible does say, 'bad company corrupts good morals', BUT we are to be a light to the world and having non-Christian friends is a good place to start. But we must be strong in our faith to sustain it.

Christian music was supposed to be just an example. I'm sorry I wasn't clear on that. There was a time where Christian music by itself was great, but we don't live in that time anymore. I realize a lot of it isn't great anymore.
Also, yes we are supposed to be a light to the world. I'm not talking about secluding yourself in your room or only talking to people at church (heaven knows going to church doesn't make you a Christian). I'm just talking about the people around you who are influencing you and how you live your life. If they are pulling you down, you can't simply stay around to "be a witness". Because your witness will be non-existent if they are able to pull you down. You go to them to reach out to them - not to become one of them. If you are not strong enough to stand above the peer pressure or whatever, then you have to back off and do what needs to be done to become whole again, so that you won't have trouble with falling anymore.
And having non-Christian friends is ok, if you have Christian friends to balance it with. People who can help lift you back up, when your non-Christian friends pull you down.

[Cloud Strife]

i have no christian friends at school. I wish i did. I realy hate fighting this alone.

[GrubbTheFragger]

Hey man i have delt with this alot recently and trust me keep in prayer and keep you mind on things that you would asscioate with that. And Dude if you need some to talk to outside the forums feel free to Aim me and i'll do what i can to help.

[Doubleshadow]

I can't add too much more in the way of advice, except to reinforce how helpful a Christian counselor can be. Also, and this helped me a lot, remember if Christ is your Savior you are NEVER alone. He is with you all the time, and He is always on your side.

[Cloud Strife]

I appreciate this help. thanks you.

[Ryupower]

I'm praying. And I totally agree with the stuff that was said.

I'm no guy but if you want to chat sometime send me a PM.

( Hey, I open up to guys all the time. )