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However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:33

Notice that its the woman who needs to receive love. And the man needs to receive respect.

When we don't receive what we need emotionally, we feel betrayed.

So we have 2 choices:

1) Become bitter, vindictive, nag, lecture, and/or ignore the other.

2) Swallow our pride & anger and change ourselves to treat the other in they way and manner they need.

But the truth is I'm far from perfect. To know the truth is wisdom. To act on the truth takes courage. And to forgive is divine.

Both need love and respect but men normally receive love better through respect and women normally receive respect better through love.

Good points there. Will have to keep them in mind when I find the girl for me.

Ah yes, that's a better way to phrase it! But this wasn't intended as for only romantic love. (Though the only verse I could think of that explained the point is geared that way.)

Oh, I realise that. Men need respect from all, women need love from all. There are different densities of love and respect only reserved for romantic love.

Yeah, there is a book called "Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs," by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It's a great book (I read it - then gave it to my aunt as a gift). It's something I think every married person should read, and single people should read as well. It clues you in to the ways you unintentionally offend the opposite sex because of ignorance of God-given gender differences.

I'm a single guy, and I got a lot out of it. It helped me see ways in which my parents and other couples I know get frustrated, fail to give their mate what they need (because they are too focused on their own needs), and then get in return even less of what they need from their mate - furthering frustration, and deepening feelings of resentment and estrangement.

Read it - you'll be glad you did.

Applying the word of God to our lives is always powerful. Many people have turned around their marriages completely (for the better) by simply applying scripture (like Ephesians 5:33). Because at the end of the day - how we feel like treating our mate on a given day is irrelevant. They may not deserve love or respect, but we are commanded by God to give them that - even when it is not reciprocated. We are answerable to Him for every word and deed - including our decision to love and respect our mate - regardless of the outcome.

We are judged on our faithfulness to the Lord - not results. That said, results often follow faithfulness. My prayer is that we would be faithful to whatever the Lord has called us to do. In Jesus name I ask it.

Thanks Saint Kevin! I'll check it out.