CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

What is the best opening you've ever read? Here is a favourite of mine.

"A wind sprang high in the west, like a wave of unreasonable happiness, and tore eastward across England, trailing with it the frosty scent of forests and the cold intoxication of the sea. In a million holes and corners it refreshed a man like a flagon, and astonished him like a blow. In the inmost chambers of intricate and embowered houses it woke like a domestic explosion, littering the floor with some professor's papers till they seemed as precious as fugitive, or blowing out the candle by which a boy read Treasure Island and wrapping him in roaring dark. But everywhere it bore drama into undramatic lives, and carried the trump of crisis across the world. Many a harassed mother in a mean backyard had looked at five dwarfish shirts on the clothes-line as at some small, sick tragedy; it was as if she had hanged her five children. The wind came, and they were full and kicking as if five fat imps had sprung into them; and far down in her oppressed subconscious she half-remembered those coarse comedies of her fathers when the elves still dwelt in the homes of men. Many an unnoticed girl in a dank walled garden had tossed herself into the hammock with the same intolerant gesture with which she might have tossed herself into the Thames; and that wind rent the waving wall of woods and lifted the hammock like a balloon, and showed her shapes of quaint clouds far beyond, and pictures of bright villages far below, as if she rode heaven in a fairy boat. Many a dusty clerk or cleric, plodding a telescopic road of poplars, thought for the hundredth time that they were like the plumes of a hearse; when this invisible energy caught and swung and clashed them round his head like a wreath or salutation of seraphic wings. There was in it something more inspired and authoritative even than the old wind of the proverb; for this was the good wind that blows nobody harm."
- "Manalive" GK Chesterton

And, for kicks, here are my favourite opening lines.

"There once was a boy named Eustace Clarance Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."
- "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" CS Lewis

"The telephone bell was ringing wildly, but without result, since there was no-one in the room but the corpse."
- "War in Heaven" - Charles Williams

<<"There once was a boy named Eustace Clarance Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."
- "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" CS Lewis>>
You know, when I was little, I didn't get that. ^^

"Have you any idea how much damage that bulldozer would suffer if I just let it roll straight over you?"

"How much? said Arthur.

"None at all," said Mr. Prosser.


ANDDDD

"You barbarians! I'll sue the council for every penny it's got! I'l have you hung, drawn, and quartered! And whipped! And boiled...until...until...until you've had enough. And then I will do it again! And when I've finished I will take all the little bits, and I will JUMP on them! And I will carry on jumping on them until I get blisters, or I can think of anything even more unpleasant to do..."


Both from my favorite book, Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy.

AngelSakura wrote:<<"There once was a boy named Eustace Clarance Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."
- "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" CS Lewis>>
You know, when I was little, I didn't get that. ^^

im 15, and i dont get it. Is it because his name is weird? Or is there a meaning to his name?

I feel where you're coming from- The Blonde gene runs through my family and there are many times when I just don't get things. Anyway:
It's because his name is so awful- I mean, who would want a name like that? So Lewis is making a joke by saying that the kid was so awful he almost deserved getting a horrible name like that.

One of my favorite openings comes from the master tail-teller (pun-intended ), Brian Jacques. His latest novel, Loamhedge, is what I'm reading now, and I absolutely fell in love with the prologue. Not so much because it is funny or random or whatever, but because it is sooo like him- a wonderful, kind dude who entertains children with fantastic, happy stories that warm the heart. Anyway, here goes:

Have you been travelling, my young friend? Come in out of the darkness and rain. Sit by the fire, eat, drink, and rest yourself. Life is one long journey from beginning to end , you know. We all walk different roads, both with our bodies and our minds. Some of us lose heart and fall by the wayside, whilst others go on to realise their dreams and desires.

Let me tell you a story of travellers, and the paths they followed. Of young ones, like yourself, sometimes uncertain of their direction, and often reluctant to listen to the voices of sense and wisdom. Of a mighty warrior, set on a course of destiny and vengence, unstoppable in his resolve. Of an evil one and his crew, cruel and ruthless, bound on a march of destruction and conquest. Of a simple maid and her friends, homebodies whose only aims were peace and well-being for all. Of wicked, foolish wanderers, chasing fantasies and fables, consumed by their own greed. Of small babes who dreamed small dreams, not knowing what the future held in store for them. And, finally, of two friends, faithful and true, who had roamed many highways adn together chose their own way.

The lives I will tell you of are intertwined by fate- good and evil bringing their just rewards to each, as they merited them. Listen whilst I relate this story. For am I not the Teller of Tales, the Weaver of Dreams!

I know, I'm the worlds longest poster. It's becoming my trademark. But isn't that prologue just great! I absolutely love it.

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel."

-- William Gibson, Neuromancer

Not my favorite book, mind you, but probably my favorite opening line to a book, in that it captures the rest of the book's mood perfectly.

"Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo.

My absolute favorite book of all time. ^^

The opening from Terry Pratchet's & Neil Gaiman's 'Good Omens' (I can't recommend this book enough)

Current theories on the creation of the Universe state that, if it was created at all and didn't just start, as it were, unofficially, it came into being between ten and twenty thousand million years ago. By the same token the earth itself is generally supposed to be about four and a half thousand million years old.

These dates are incorrect.

Medieval Jewish scholars put the date of the Creation at 3760 B.C. Greek Orthodox theologians put Creation as far back as 5508 B.C.

These suggestions are also incorrect.

Archbishop James Usher (1580-1656) published Annales Veteris et Novi Testaments in 1654, which suggested that the Heaven and the Earth were created in 4004 B.C. One of his aides took the calculation further, and was able to announce triumphantly that the Earth was created on Sunday the 21st of October, 4004 B.C., at exactly 9:00 A.M., because God liked to get work done early in the morning while he was feeling fresh.

This too was incorrect. By almost a quarter of an hour.

The whole business with the fossilized dinosaur skeletons was a joke the paleontologists haven't seen yet.

This proves two things:

Firstly, that God moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, [ie., everybody.] to being involved in an obscure and
complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

Secondly, the Earth's a Libra.

The astrological prediction for Libra in the "Your Stars Today" column of the Tadfield Advertiser, on the day this history begins, read as follows:


LIBRA. 24 September-23 October.
You may be feeling run down and always in the same old daily round Home and family matters are highlighted and are hanging fire. Avoid unnecessary risks. A friend is important to you. Shelve major decisions until the way ahead seems clear. You may be vulnerable to a stomach upset today,
so avoid salads. Help could come from an unexpected quarter.


This was perfectly correct on every count except for the bit about the salads.

It was the best of times,it was the worse of times..
Has anyone really beaten Dickens for an opener like that?
Then there was also..It was a dark and stormy night..Yeah,that's actually
from a book by Bulwer Lytton I believe.

"The body staring up through the translucent green of the nutrient bath might have been dead." ~ Stephen R. Lawhead, Empyrion: the Search for Fierra

Had to read that five times until I thought I got it right.

and then later...
"...Presently a small bubble formed on the rim of one nostril, puffed up bigger, and broke free, spiraling to the surface. Plick! This was followed by another slightly larger bubble, which also spun up to the surface of the bath, drifted momentarily, and burst. Plick!"

of course I had to keep reading.

Samurai Cat Goes to the Movies by Mark E Rogers:
If the Robot Assassin had been capable of astonishment, he would have been astonished.

As it was, he was amazed.

His logic circuits struggled to make sense of what he was seeing, finally coming up with three possible explanations:
Malfunction
Incorrect Information
Actually Just Like Those Movies

He had seem lot of Japanese giant monster flicks when he wasa young Termnationer, and even then the special effects had struck him as pretty cheesy. It had never occurred to him that they were not special effects at all; but here he was standing on the outskirts of Tokyo and if any of those buildings was an nch above four feet tall, he was badly mistaken...

From a series of comedy novels, we get a lot of crossover parodies. In this volume for example, we get "The Seven Samurai" crossed with "The Magnificent Seven" to get the "Magnificent Seven Samurai", where a village hires samurai to protect their village against mexican bandits. "Follow the Yellow Brick Road Warrior" crosses Wizard of Oz and the Mad Max movies, "Alienated" where Star Trek, Aliens and Predator are combined and so on.

The author specializes in awful word puns, like when some samurai have lost their weapons and have nothing but some miniature trees, they decide that they have no choice to use them in the first recorded instance of a "Bonsai Charge"

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a, bare, sandy hole wiht nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit hole and that means comfort."

I assume you can conclude what that is from.

Though I must Admit I do like the opening to Hitchhikers Guide to the Galexy, just as much if not more.

My favorite worst openings ever:

"This is the story of your mom."

"Jenny sat there, quietly ovulating."

Edit: This is really annoying, I double posted again, sorry for any inconveinience, this is not at ll intentional

not really for a book, but best opening line for stories:

"once upon a time, there was a...."

now really, isn't that great?