Praise God: deliverance through prayer
PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 5:42 pm
I usually make a really lousy witness because I can all too easily fall into a kind of darkness that's almost unimaginable, this demon of despair and hopelessness who's been tormenting me since I was little.
In particular it comes upon me whenever I feel well enough to declare my intentions to do something like go out to eat. Or anything 'normal' that a lot of people take for granted, it could be going to a movie or shopping or taking a drive.
Then the demon gets creative and thinks of ways to keep me inside and isolated, and it's as though nothing has any meaning: "Well, we're all going to die anyway so what's the point of being happy?"
This week was a prime example. We made plans to go out, but certain incidents triggered fighting and misery all day, and at the height of the darkness, I prayed. Rather angrily, too: "If you're there, then HELP me!"
And after I prayed, in a miracle, almost at once my mood lifted. I stopped fighting, apologized to those I had wronged. We went out, had dinner. Had fun.
I know this doesn't sound like much. And it's not. Not compared to what many many people are going through. But it was a victory, it was real to me, and I wanted to tell SOMEONE.
Thanks be to God.
In particular it comes upon me whenever I feel well enough to declare my intentions to do something like go out to eat. Or anything 'normal' that a lot of people take for granted, it could be going to a movie or shopping or taking a drive.
Then the demon gets creative and thinks of ways to keep me inside and isolated, and it's as though nothing has any meaning: "Well, we're all going to die anyway so what's the point of being happy?"
This week was a prime example. We made plans to go out, but certain incidents triggered fighting and misery all day, and at the height of the darkness, I prayed. Rather angrily, too: "If you're there, then HELP me!"
And after I prayed, in a miracle, almost at once my mood lifted. I stopped fighting, apologized to those I had wronged. We went out, had dinner. Had fun.
I know this doesn't sound like much. And it's not. Not compared to what many many people are going through. But it was a victory, it was real to me, and I wanted to tell SOMEONE.
Thanks be to God.
