Taken a bad thing and turning it into a positive message
PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 11:47 pm
I wrote this the other day and a few members that read it, felt that I should post this at the board.
The first thing that I want to say is thank you the members of board. When I first came to board, I was very unsure of even telling people what I had. I have had to deal with the good and bad views from Christians about my lifestyle.
Over the years, I lost and gain friends online and in real life after they knew about my past. when I wrote about my past history of my life in the Testimonies & Spiritual Growth form of the board a few years ago, I didn't search for pity or wanted people to feel sorry for me. I never felt pity or sorry for myself in life for what I had or had to deal with. I had to be strong and just go on and trust God and my faith in him. Over the years, I learn that having this wasn't that bad, because it made me stronger in what I believe in and with God. What I have and had to deal with is what made me who I am today. I've been ask a few times before that, if I could have a wish. Would I wish that I hadn't been born with a heart problem and having aids. The answer to that is no, if I had my life to do all over again, I would want everything that has happen to me over my short 28 years of life to happen. As Anthony Perkins once said, "I have learned more about love, selflessness and human understanding from the people I have met in this great adventure in the world of AIDS than I ever did in the cut-throat, competitive world in which I spent my life."
I know that I had some people say I'm a bit of a hero in how strong I am and I get up every day and not let AIDS get to me. But I don't feel like that, I feel the ones that are the heroes in this case, would be the ones that fought it and are not here with us today or the families that lost a love one to AIDS, cancer or have a child that is in a wheel chair and have to fight everyday to put a smile on their face and be there for them.
When I came to the board. All I wanted was to be treated just like every one else and not look in another way. I thank you all that I have been treated that way and I thank the staff and the people that I became friends with on the board for the support.
I have to say that I thankful for a special lady that I have been talking to on many long nights about these kind of issues of my life and her and me talk about tonight, made me want to write this part after we talk more about my past. I can tell her now that I love her and she helps me in a way that I never felt that I would ever seen in my life.
What bugs me is, people that take small little things in life and blow them up into a big deal. They feel that just because some things have happen to them, they should be rewarded with pity or use their pity on others as a guilt trip to others. Then you have the people that are on the same level and just because another person has had it harder in life and doesn't agree or like that kind of view, they think you are a jerk or cuss you out for it.
The sad thing about it all is, they don't see how selfish they are and not following the teachings of God. If you really believe in him and trust him, then you would take the bad things that has happen to you and turn them into a positive message. They also should think and be thankful that don't have to deal with cancer, being in a wheelchair, blind or deaf and losing an arm or a leg...etc. Look at ones that had to deal wit those issues and they have turn them into a positive message about hope and faith in the Lord.
They also should be thankful for the good things then sitting around feeling sorry for their self. It bugs me, when people do this and never see how lucky they are or they are alive.
One of my good friends at the clinic was a hemophiliac. He got aids just like me. I was 16 and he was 14 and I watch him slowly die. The last thing that made him happy was the puppy that my family got and gave to him. That was the last thing that he had in his life and he love that dog, even if he was dying.
I also think about the two other kids that got the thymus transplant. It was just three of us that got pick to have this transplant, the boy was 6, the girl was 8 and I was 13. I was the first to get it, back in Dec of 1993. I had the surgery a few days before Christmas and joke that if this works, this will be the best gift that I every got in my life. It was and I was thankful for it. Sadly, the other two didn't make it long after they had theirs. Since I was the first one to have it, I went and saw both of them in the hospital and to give them and their family hope that it could work. To to this day, I still feel like I failed them, since I was the only one of the three that made it.
It was a week before my 13th birthday that I found out that I had aids and the mac germ. I didn't sit around feeling sorry for myself or thought it was the end. I told my mom and dad that I was going to beat this, I was fighter from the day that I was born.
My family said to the doctors that I was going to beat this and everything would be fine, when the doctors give me six months to live in the fall of 1993.
I never gave up on God, when this happen or hope. I don't feel that I'm a special for what I had to deal with in life. I just feel that deep down, there was a special message that I was to give out and it was what God had plan for me. I have to keep growing with God and sharing my message. Maybe its time for others to think about what they have had to deal with and become stronger with God and take a bad thing and turn it into a good message for others.
[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Red"]Col. Roy Mustang[/color][/font]
The first thing that I want to say is thank you the members of board. When I first came to board, I was very unsure of even telling people what I had. I have had to deal with the good and bad views from Christians about my lifestyle.
Over the years, I lost and gain friends online and in real life after they knew about my past. when I wrote about my past history of my life in the Testimonies & Spiritual Growth form of the board a few years ago, I didn't search for pity or wanted people to feel sorry for me. I never felt pity or sorry for myself in life for what I had or had to deal with. I had to be strong and just go on and trust God and my faith in him. Over the years, I learn that having this wasn't that bad, because it made me stronger in what I believe in and with God. What I have and had to deal with is what made me who I am today. I've been ask a few times before that, if I could have a wish. Would I wish that I hadn't been born with a heart problem and having aids. The answer to that is no, if I had my life to do all over again, I would want everything that has happen to me over my short 28 years of life to happen. As Anthony Perkins once said, "I have learned more about love, selflessness and human understanding from the people I have met in this great adventure in the world of AIDS than I ever did in the cut-throat, competitive world in which I spent my life."
I know that I had some people say I'm a bit of a hero in how strong I am and I get up every day and not let AIDS get to me. But I don't feel like that, I feel the ones that are the heroes in this case, would be the ones that fought it and are not here with us today or the families that lost a love one to AIDS, cancer or have a child that is in a wheel chair and have to fight everyday to put a smile on their face and be there for them.
When I came to the board. All I wanted was to be treated just like every one else and not look in another way. I thank you all that I have been treated that way and I thank the staff and the people that I became friends with on the board for the support.
I have to say that I thankful for a special lady that I have been talking to on many long nights about these kind of issues of my life and her and me talk about tonight, made me want to write this part after we talk more about my past. I can tell her now that I love her and she helps me in a way that I never felt that I would ever seen in my life.
What bugs me is, people that take small little things in life and blow them up into a big deal. They feel that just because some things have happen to them, they should be rewarded with pity or use their pity on others as a guilt trip to others. Then you have the people that are on the same level and just because another person has had it harder in life and doesn't agree or like that kind of view, they think you are a jerk or cuss you out for it.
The sad thing about it all is, they don't see how selfish they are and not following the teachings of God. If you really believe in him and trust him, then you would take the bad things that has happen to you and turn them into a positive message. They also should think and be thankful that don't have to deal with cancer, being in a wheelchair, blind or deaf and losing an arm or a leg...etc. Look at ones that had to deal wit those issues and they have turn them into a positive message about hope and faith in the Lord.
They also should be thankful for the good things then sitting around feeling sorry for their self. It bugs me, when people do this and never see how lucky they are or they are alive.
One of my good friends at the clinic was a hemophiliac. He got aids just like me. I was 16 and he was 14 and I watch him slowly die. The last thing that made him happy was the puppy that my family got and gave to him. That was the last thing that he had in his life and he love that dog, even if he was dying.
I also think about the two other kids that got the thymus transplant. It was just three of us that got pick to have this transplant, the boy was 6, the girl was 8 and I was 13. I was the first to get it, back in Dec of 1993. I had the surgery a few days before Christmas and joke that if this works, this will be the best gift that I every got in my life. It was and I was thankful for it. Sadly, the other two didn't make it long after they had theirs. Since I was the first one to have it, I went and saw both of them in the hospital and to give them and their family hope that it could work. To to this day, I still feel like I failed them, since I was the only one of the three that made it.
It was a week before my 13th birthday that I found out that I had aids and the mac germ. I didn't sit around feeling sorry for myself or thought it was the end. I told my mom and dad that I was going to beat this, I was fighter from the day that I was born.
My family said to the doctors that I was going to beat this and everything would be fine, when the doctors give me six months to live in the fall of 1993.
I never gave up on God, when this happen or hope. I don't feel that I'm a special for what I had to deal with in life. I just feel that deep down, there was a special message that I was to give out and it was what God had plan for me. I have to keep growing with God and sharing my message. Maybe its time for others to think about what they have had to deal with and become stronger with God and take a bad thing and turn it into a good message for others.
[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Red"]Col. Roy Mustang[/color][/font]
