Atheism, Christianity, and I
PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 1:01 am
This had been quite an issue with me for time.
When I was much younger, about 9, I had been somewhat of an Agnostic Christian; I wasn't sure whether God was there or not. I just went to Church or read the bible simply beacuse my mother pushed me to. I also had one of the worst outlooks on life, and was thus, a pessimist.
One day I read an atheist's speech on the belief in God. It asked me the questions: "Why does God allow all these terrible things to happen in the world today?", "Why does God ignore so many prayers?, and "Why does God never show himself to us?"
I looked at these questions, and kept wondering what the answers may be. It seemed like such a good point in the terms that it is true. I never came close to erasing these doubts.
I just wanted to avoid looking at these questions from then on, but at the same time, I couldn't resist looking at the questions and thinking: Does God really exist? If he did, then why does he let all the bad things happen to me?
I never in the end managed to remove the doubt from my mind. It seemed like any answer I could come up with made no sense. "The atheists are right. God was either malevolent or nonexistent." I thought. I could stay with Christianity or move to Atheism.
But I didn't switch to atheism. Instead, I stuck with Christianity. I thought to myself that I wasn't going to take a chance and betray God. I didn't like the fact that it felt like I wasn't making an intelligent decision, but I made it anyway. Even if he was malevolent, I still loved him.
But then I realized more things. I realized that I would never switch to atheism. God was my reason for living. I had hated life, and always wanted to commit suicide, but I never did, fearing "What would God say about this?"
Then more things started to flow into my mind, and started answering the questions:
"Why does God allow all the terrible things happening in the world?":
Because he doesn't control us to do these things. Rather, we are the ones allowing it. If God solved the problem instantly, then he'd be spoiling us and letting us use him as a tool to solve problems.
"Why does God ignore so many prayers?":
Because they are selfish, unhelpful, or ruins a part of God's plan. Either that, or it tests God. Praying isn't asking for something from God. It's communication with God. We sometimes ask for help, but we don't use God as a gumball machine, just like above.
"Why does God/Jesus never show himself to us?":
Some people, like my mother's friend, claims that she saw Jesus. He does show himself to us occasionally, but an atheist denies this, in an attempt to get rid of God, or by doubt. If he showed himself to everyone, then the atheist would call it something like a mass hallucination. Besides, why show himself when you already believe in him?
After pondering these things, I looked back towards the batches of questions that I had so far visited, and promptly realized that the questions were all repetitive. None of them really questioned the existence of God, but rather, how God didn't do this or that. I promptly thought of how an atheist would ask "Why did God not change my diapers?" or "I stubbed my toe! Why did God put that chair there?", and laughed.
I also saw that they didn't use questions like these so often. Most of the entire arguments would be bent on calling Christians "delusional" or "irrational", and using those two words in copious amounts. I never did manage to stop getting annoyed by how atheists insult us, and I felt slightly more embarrased by the fact that I thought of a 5 paragraph rant with 4 of the paragraphs filled with only insults as logic.
As I grew up to who I was now, I grew, to unfortunately, dislike most atheists I've met, considering the amount of "wtfroflmfao111religiouswars" they bring up, and the insults I get from them.
I also wondered, did God come into me when I was dealing with atheism? I still feel comfortable to feel that God was there and he helped me to truly believe in Him, and that when he let the worst happen, it was not because he was malevolent, but because he wanted me to understand what the trials I must face will be like.
___
Anyways, that's my story. What's yours?
When I was much younger, about 9, I had been somewhat of an Agnostic Christian; I wasn't sure whether God was there or not. I just went to Church or read the bible simply beacuse my mother pushed me to. I also had one of the worst outlooks on life, and was thus, a pessimist.
One day I read an atheist's speech on the belief in God. It asked me the questions: "Why does God allow all these terrible things to happen in the world today?", "Why does God ignore so many prayers?, and "Why does God never show himself to us?"
I looked at these questions, and kept wondering what the answers may be. It seemed like such a good point in the terms that it is true. I never came close to erasing these doubts.
I just wanted to avoid looking at these questions from then on, but at the same time, I couldn't resist looking at the questions and thinking: Does God really exist? If he did, then why does he let all the bad things happen to me?
I never in the end managed to remove the doubt from my mind. It seemed like any answer I could come up with made no sense. "The atheists are right. God was either malevolent or nonexistent." I thought. I could stay with Christianity or move to Atheism.
But I didn't switch to atheism. Instead, I stuck with Christianity. I thought to myself that I wasn't going to take a chance and betray God. I didn't like the fact that it felt like I wasn't making an intelligent decision, but I made it anyway. Even if he was malevolent, I still loved him.
But then I realized more things. I realized that I would never switch to atheism. God was my reason for living. I had hated life, and always wanted to commit suicide, but I never did, fearing "What would God say about this?"
Then more things started to flow into my mind, and started answering the questions:
"Why does God allow all the terrible things happening in the world?":
Because he doesn't control us to do these things. Rather, we are the ones allowing it. If God solved the problem instantly, then he'd be spoiling us and letting us use him as a tool to solve problems.
"Why does God ignore so many prayers?":
Because they are selfish, unhelpful, or ruins a part of God's plan. Either that, or it tests God. Praying isn't asking for something from God. It's communication with God. We sometimes ask for help, but we don't use God as a gumball machine, just like above.
"Why does God/Jesus never show himself to us?":
Some people, like my mother's friend, claims that she saw Jesus. He does show himself to us occasionally, but an atheist denies this, in an attempt to get rid of God, or by doubt. If he showed himself to everyone, then the atheist would call it something like a mass hallucination. Besides, why show himself when you already believe in him?
After pondering these things, I looked back towards the batches of questions that I had so far visited, and promptly realized that the questions were all repetitive. None of them really questioned the existence of God, but rather, how God didn't do this or that. I promptly thought of how an atheist would ask "Why did God not change my diapers?" or "I stubbed my toe! Why did God put that chair there?", and laughed.
I also saw that they didn't use questions like these so often. Most of the entire arguments would be bent on calling Christians "delusional" or "irrational", and using those two words in copious amounts. I never did manage to stop getting annoyed by how atheists insult us, and I felt slightly more embarrased by the fact that I thought of a 5 paragraph rant with 4 of the paragraphs filled with only insults as logic.
As I grew up to who I was now, I grew, to unfortunately, dislike most atheists I've met, considering the amount of "wtfroflmfao111religiouswars" they bring up, and the insults I get from them.
I also wondered, did God come into me when I was dealing with atheism? I still feel comfortable to feel that God was there and he helped me to truly believe in Him, and that when he let the worst happen, it was not because he was malevolent, but because he wanted me to understand what the trials I must face will be like.
___
Anyways, that's my story. What's yours?