Our will, God's will
PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2008 2:12 pm
hey everyone. Got an update from my bro in law. He's in Australia, playing basketball for the griffith demons. anyway. I thought this was very nice and wanted to share it with all of you.
Hey all, i just have a little rambling to do, nothing really to update but i just want to share where i am at and what i have been pondering as of late....
So as i was chatting with R*** my prayer partner the other day and i was just telling him what i was struggling with and how i was feeling and i relaized that so much in my life i always look to tommoorow...be it what is in store, what kind of plesures it will bring, what kind of problems it will have, what unknowns will be present, what possibilities are availiable....and in all the thought that i put into it i always seem to worry...what it is i am worrying about is always the same, the unknowns...the interesting thing about the future is that i really dont know what is in store but i still waste life in worry or stressing...within all of this is my constant struggle of where Gods plan fits into the whole thing...am i in it? have i listened well enough? am i missing his will? where is next for me? do my own desires fit into this path? is Gods plan worth it?....and of course the most frustrating part of this whole Gods plan thing is that no matter where we are at in his will we will always be without the knowledge of tommorow and have to trust yet again on Him...as i was telling R*** "sometimes i get tired of being in Gods will today than having to do it again the next day and the next day and the next day, never knowing what will be next"...after talking about this and pondering it and listening to a great message on it (not a coinsidence i listened to it right after i prayed for direction, I constantly am convinced that prayer is so much more powerful than we can ever realize and it is given to us so freely and we dont use it to talk with God enough) i realized that in my own ignorance i try to control Gods plan in my life and make it (my) form of Gods plan in my own life...Jesus has promised us so many things in our lives, and so many of these promises are so much more fullfilling to us if we just give up our lives to Him and live free of the need to control...i want to map out my next Job, my next destination of travel, the amount of money i will make, the family i will have, the house i will live in and so on...i think in that organization i will have control...wrong, dont ge tme wrong i think it all good to have those things in order, but if that order is needed first before i live out Gods plan than i have missed it...for my life i have realized that i need to love God first, an unconditional all out, sacrificial love...my thought at this moment when i pondered this was what if Jesus asked me "Do you love me"...if i was honest my answer would be "well....yes Jesus...most of the time atleast...its just that i need to feel the need to have some sort of control because i think it will make me safe...but truthfully i never does...and i always come back to you...i am sorry Jesus....My heart longs to but my flesh is weak"...Jesus has never let me down in my life, sure things have not gone my way many times and i have been on the wrong side in my own mind, but i forget that i only see once piece of the whole puzzle...in the end i guess its based on faith and love...DO i have enough faith to trust in Jesus wholly, and do i have unconditional love that will follow without having to see the end product knowing that my life is not my own and that it was the way i was meant to live and in the scrifice i will be more in tune and fulfilled....
